| Why Men Love Bitches
Posted: 7/29/2006 1:27:46 PM | Here I thought that a man would love me because I put out. Today I learn that I need to be a bit**. Can I be a bit** who puts out?
~Carrie B. | |
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| Why Men Love Bitches
Posted: 7/29/2006 1:37:36 PM | squirrly_1......absolutely not. I'm sure there's a lot of good info in this book.
My problem is that women actually hold dear this idea of referring to themselves as b!tches and consider it a badge of honor.
Women were not wrong for calling men who mistreated them pricks or whatever. Why would they want to bring themselves down to that level and then be proud of it. | |
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| Why Men Love Bitches
Posted: 7/29/2006 1:55:45 PM | There was another thread on this subject but yeah, the word b*tch has a negative connotation and is controversial. Hence the reason the author used it. It caused a buzz about her book and got people to buy it and talk about it.
The word is changing its use tho. Just as the N word can be used by the Brothas, so can the B word be used by the Sistas. LOL. The second wave of feminism which started in the 60's really has tried to take back the word as meaning a strong capable woman.
Now does that scare men? I dont think it does in general, most men want a woman like that.
Also the word is being used by men... "hey my b*tch" meaning their buddy. So maybe we need to stop being so hung up on a word that is evolving like a lot of words and relax a little? | |
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| Why Men Love Bitches
Posted: 7/29/2006 2:13:44 PM | Can't say as I know the book, can't say I agree with the statement.
I can say I, being a man, like women who are more decicive. I've always found it difficult to be in any sort of relationship (friendship, dating, whatever) with someone who abdicates thier end of the relationship by humming and hawing over decisions or simple questions like "what do you want to do?" (this is like asking "how are we going to solve world hunger") or in worst case scenarios not having an opinion on something!
Being in control of yourself, your ideas, and thinking about questions/choices/ideas etc is a great thing for anyone! | |
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| Why Men Love Bitches
Posted: 7/29/2006 2:44:19 PM | N word = B word??? I suppose that could be another parallel between the two.
If it's just a word, how about the C word???
Why can't they just be confident and self sufficient women???
I won't be using either of those words in an endearing manner anytime soon. Maybe I'm getting old before my time. | |
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| Why Men Love Bitches
Posted: 7/29/2006 3:26:57 PM | (Msg 100) For instance, when a man tells you he is interested in a long-term relationship he may just want sex with no strings attached........See, so some men play games and some women fall into the trap so easily. The book talks about those kinds of things and how women can stop the cycle.
I haven't read the book but it sounds like the woman is to assume the man is playing until she finds out differently and that takes time so the man, once again, is on the defensive. That is the problem with that type of book.
Hmm well it does say that jumping to bed straight away is not a good idea in general.
If straight away means the first date, I agree. If straight away means within the first six months, that's another thing. I feel there is period where lust/passion is running high. That time is to be used constructively. That is the time when major adjustments are more easily accepted due to the attraction to one another.
It's easy to see faults with another. Maybe love is blind for a reason?
(Msg 95) This book supports the high school mentality about dating. And I left high school a long time ago.
That brought back memories of my dating the 30s crowd. The 30-35 year old woman, married between 7 and 10 years, two kids, separated/divorced and expecting a line up of guys like in high school. Good grief!
Do people really need a book advising/encouraging them to be wary of the opposite sex? It seems that mentality comes naturally, at least on here.  | |
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exxess
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Joined: 1/31/2006
Msg: 107 | |
| They are the equalevant of the bad boy.
Posted: 7/29/2006 3:27:09 PM | I've often wondered the ****y, diva, Baby moma drama queens somehow get away with the things they do. It's funny cause I'll observe a guy doing whatever he can to calm his girl friend down who is causing a big scene and wonder why is this guy putting up with this? Then I go home to my ex who was equally if not more of a **** to me. You know the usual why I didn't compliment her on her hair blah blah blah.
Men love ****es because they are the bad boys equal. They have a sense of confidence, why because they know they are good looking and can get any guy they want. So the poor sap feels he has to cater to her ever whim just to keep dating her. | |
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| Why Men Love Bitches
Posted: 7/29/2006 3:48:49 PM | I think too many people, especially women, read self-help books like this looking for easy answers. Now of course I haven't read this, or anything else like it, only the blurbs on the back possibly when I'm browsing the book stores and looking for a laugh. From my point of view, they all seem to be preaching a codified set of rules for dating, that men & women are from different planets, how to catch a man (or woman) and keep her, etc, etc.
We're all from planet Earth, and the only real rule you need to adhere to is to treat other people with the same courtesy and respect that you expect them to show you.
Does anyone remember the episode of "Friends" where the girls were all reading some sort of self-help manifesto, with all the same claptrap psychobabble? I recall a line about, ...letting a lightening bearer still your wind..." or some thing. It was hysterical, and the satire was spot on. All these silly sort of books do are create unrealistic expectations, and of course make Dr Phil and all his pseudo-science colleagues rich. Its so flavor-of-the-week.
And sorry squirrly, but your friend is just a manipulative jerk. You don't need to read a book to figure that out. But someone who reads this "book", then dates me, might think I'm after just sex if I honestly tell her I'd someday like to settle down and have a family. See the problem?? | |
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| They are the equalevant of the bad boy.
Posted: 7/29/2006 3:53:04 PM | What do we call a guy that stands up for himself, his beliefs and is "in control" of himself & his life?
Surely not anything that has derogatory origins. | |
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| They are the equalevant of the bad boy.
Posted: 7/29/2006 4:17:55 PM | "What do we call a guy that stands up for himself, his beliefs and is "in control" of himself & his life?"
Usually the other "B" word that comes with so much negativity...
Boss.
JMJ | |
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| They are the equalevant of the bad boy.
Posted: 7/29/2006 6:26:28 PM | ... and she wonders why I think she's tough!  
Personally, I haven't read the book, but if it helps with self confidence and/or self respect, then I'm for it.
Is it a 'bad boy' equivalent? I don't know. Bad boys tend to need more of an ego fix, where this sounds more like gaining self control.
B I T C H es draw me,
... and if I'm lucky she'll pose for me when she's done!  | |
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| They are the equalevant of the bad boy.
Posted: 7/29/2006 6:36:05 PM | Well, I'll use this as my last word on this issue.
I can't stand a b!tch. The truth is, I can be a much bigger d!ck than any woman could possibly be a b!tch and I don't like to treat women that way, so I steer clear of the kind that make me want to behave that way.
I have no problem with strong, confident, and independent women. In fact, I'm pretty sure that's what I'm looking for, but she isn't a b!tch. | |
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| Why Men Love Bitches
Posted: 7/29/2006 7:09:05 PM | Okay, here's my take on the whole "Why Men Love ****es." This phenomenon is the same as for women who are attracted to bad boys. Yes ladies, come on admit it. If you weren't, Pointdexter in the library in highschool, playing Dungeons and Dragons while taking hits from his inhaler would have had a black book as thick as the New York phone book (metropolitan version).
Both men and woman are attracted to "a feeling" moreso than any series of logical reasons. This goes even moreso than looks alone (although you will notice that most "****es" men are attracted to tend to be attractive), money, intelligence etc. We all get into this dating thing to feel something. If we find someone who creates that feeling, then we are attracted to them. We don't have a choice in how we feel, its instinctive.
The bottom line is that most people find a roller coaster exciting. We don't know what to expect next. It's the unpredictable that turns us on. Knowing exactly what is coming next is "nice" but not all the time. When we are interested in someone we all like to be kept on the edge a little bit, even if we won't admit it. What we say we want, and what we sometimes crave are not one in the same.
This is similar as I started to mention to the attraction a woman has to a "bad boy." A guy like this who does not call, who sneaks around, and is a little on the untamed side is a challenge and adds drama to her life. Pointdexter will call twelve times on the way to the pharmacy picking up his inhaler prescription and ask if he can wash your car for you on the way back...nice but not so appealing, right? Why, because it is predictable. In the start of a relationship, too much predictability can be a killer to the mood.
The thing about a woman who is classified as a "****" is that she is a challenge. A lot of guys wear dating a woman like that as a badge of honour. If he has bad self esteem, being with a woman like this and keeping her (until he gets an ulcer or loses his sanity) makes him feel like a "real man."
After a while, unfortunately the novelty wears off, and the spoiled princess act gets old.
I think eventually, as we mature, we do still crave the excitement, but the hope is that we all even out, find someone who treats us well and are thankful we have found them. The bad boy and **** can come out and play once in a while when we are in the mood for some excitement.
So that's my take on this. Can I pick you up something from the pharmacy while I am there? ;) Thanks for reading. | |
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Cherrr
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Joined: 7/15/2006
Msg: 118 | |
| Why Men Love Bitches
Posted: 7/30/2006 10:17:48 AM | | OMG....those books are useless in the real world.....the best thing to do is go with your inner instinct...your gut feeling.....if its meant to be it will happen and vice versa | |
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| Why Men Love Bitches
Posted: 7/31/2006 10:18:24 AM | Personaly speaking, it's not the trophy were after, thats a bonus. We are going hunting because thats what we want to do, test ourselves aginst the animal. Its not so easy to stalk and call a moose close enough to get a good clean kill. I bear hunt, and my weapon of choice is a bow! Not a crossbow! just a compound bow with 75 lbs. pull. Its what we men were doing in the dark ages and its carried over to todays form of hunting. Every man hunts, even if its not with a gun. They hunt for a better job or better housing for thier family. Chuck  | |
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| Why Men Love Bitches
Posted: 8/1/2006 9:17:29 AM | i agree with squirrel and rainbow...a confident woman is very attractive
to a confident man. If the woman is confident and runs across a man that's
not? well..no mix..part of the selection process. A woman with no confidence
just won't be attractive to him. On the other hand a needy woman also has
her match..that's what it's all about.. | |
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| Why Men Love Bitches
Posted: 8/2/2006 1:10:40 PM | | that book was very useful to me; I used it to prop up my coffee table, when the leg broke... | |
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| Why Men Love Bitches
Posted: 9/3/2006 9:11:05 AM | I thought the modern spelling was "BIOTCH"...
I never knew a BIOTCH I didn't like...
Never liked them enough to get fully involved with them, however... | |
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| Why Men Love Bitches
Posted: 9/3/2006 11:43:51 AM | | Awesome book! Recommended reading for any woman really. It's about how to take care of/ not lose yourself in the relationship, how to keep things alive and most of all respect yourself! | |
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| Why Men Love Bitches
Posted: 9/3/2006 4:31:48 PM | | Sorry I don't love "****es" I really apreciate a nice girl who's got morals and knows how to comport herself. | |
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