| 38 and thinking its too late
Posted: 7/19/2007 8:02:30 PM | | I have been feeling the same way. It's like if you aren't in a relationship or married by now then you have missed the bus. I feel like I'm to old to be in the "in" crowd and to old to be in the bar scene. What's up with that??? | |
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| 38 and thinking its too late
Posted: 7/26/2007 2:44:02 AM | No way! People in their 60's and 70's and even older find love again. And just because you haven't found it doesn't mean it's not out there. And it's possible you are looking too hard, and overlooking what's right in front of you. Slow down and take a breath. There is no time limit on love. And take a new look around you it may be right there all of the time, but if it isn't then, maybe you need to just relax and let it come to you. In my experience when you finally decide you are ok if it doesn't fall in your lap "right now" is when it will. Just enjoy being you it will happen. | |
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| 38 and thinking its too late
Posted: 7/27/2007 9:46:03 AM | Well sweetie I'm 43 and I hope your thoughts arent true because that means I am way over meeting mine. But, I really don't feel that way. I'm sure there is someone out there for each person and when its time for us to meet we will.  | |
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| 38 and thinking its too late
Posted: 8/13/2007 12:04:48 PM | I hope 38 isn't to late, but I'm almost down to sailing around the world to find my match. I've been looking for years, would have been happily married but a B of a future mother in law got in the way, and I don't use that B word very often but she is one that deserves it. The rich B saw I was going to take her grand kids away from spending every afternoon at her place. We'd be traveling and living in a different city, she threatened to pull a big inheritance from the kids if we got married. We had a year togther, took many trips that she and the kids never could have taken, went camping and stayed in time shares, visited all the relatives, we were in love and the kids and I were great. Anyway after a year of things looking great, I was unexpectedly told I was back to square one, I understood her decision, I pleaded the case that she was just playing her trump card and would probably fold when it came to a showdown, but she wasn't willing to atttempt to call her bluff.
Everybody keeps saying your sound great any woman would be lucky to have somebody like you, but I'm still single. A lot of the problem this last couple years has been I've been too busy with too many sailboats, but it should be a two way street, I shouldn't have to do all the traveling. I get plenty of looks and a few letters but everybody is just too sure that the perfect one is going to show up next week. It takes 10 years for them to realize that next week is still one week away and they are still single and still looking for what they think is perfect. You are not going to find perfect, but you will find close enough, a relationship is going to be work, but it's going to be worth it.
My friends where I keep my boats just celebrated 50 years of marriage, and they still have to work at it, almost everyday, at least once a week, there is something that comes up that needs compromise, that's what marriage is all about compromise with benefits. Capitalize both of them Compromise and Benefits...
I'm looking for that someone that wants to Compromise and desires some Benefits, any takers? | |
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| 38 and thinking its too late
Posted: 8/13/2007 12:54:04 PM | | Hi...im 41 and still having fun!! In society these days its expected tobe hooked up with someone and that is classed as 'normal'.im sorry it takes time to meet the right person and i certainly dont copy from my peers because they are with a mate. Because we are single,we are classed as not normal,like the smokers off this day and age,all i say is dont set your sights too high and that perfect person will be there ,after all we are not model material ourselves are we?? | |
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| 38 and thinking its too late
Posted: 8/13/2007 3:38:12 PM | | Well I'm 41, still single and hating it. But whats worse, or what was worse, is that I was doing rubbish low-paid jobs that I wasn't any good and was far beneath my intellectual capabilities anyway, so now I'm at university getting myself a degree. At least if I remain single I can be proud and pleased with myself and be the person I want to be. If I get a decent job because of my graduation, I'll be able to fly off to Bermuda and go shark watching, and I don't need a partner to do that! | |
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| 38 and thinking its too late
Posted: 8/13/2007 4:29:17 PM | I will be 38 in November, I can certainly hear the clock ticking so to speak. I would like to fall in love again while I can still function sexually  | |
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| 38 and thinking its too late
Posted: 8/13/2007 11:48:15 PM | | Quite the contrary...I believe because you are 38 and still single suggests you will find your soul mate because you didn't resort to just settling with someone...alternatively you may have met your soul mate earlier in time but the timing just wasn't right...you're just going to have to trust the cosmic forces...they know what's going down | |
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| 38 and thinking its too late
Posted: 8/14/2007 8:31:49 PM | | I'm not much of a believer in the "soul mate" philosophy...if you truly are a believer in it, then why would your age of 38 have anything to do with not ever meeting her? | |
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| 38 and thinking its too late
Posted: 8/16/2007 1:13:05 PM | hello never too old and 38 aint even old anyway you could take my way of thinking which is i refuse to grow old lol  | |
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| 38 and thinking its too late
Posted: 8/17/2007 6:30:59 AM | Not sure about finding your soul mate (not sure i believe in them)....
I think people are like jig-saw pieces... your just looking for the peice that fits you best...
It'll happen, dont get disheartened x  | |
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| 38 and thinking its too late
Posted: 8/17/2007 7:02:14 AM | | WOW.... 38 is still young. I think at your age you are just finding out what kind of person is your soul mate. This is the good years. Just stit back and relax. You maybe need to change your surroundings ? Re evaluate what your soul mate is too you. Maybe she is closer than you think but you are so focused on looking you can't see her. It will happpen, stay positive. | |
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| 38 and thinking its too late
Posted: 8/19/2007 7:09:06 AM | You're never too young to give up, and you're never too old to keep trying.
It sounds better if you are stoned. Not that I am. I just know from reading my Hunter S. Thompson. | |
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| 38 and thinking its too late
Posted: 8/19/2007 8:19:01 AM | omg!! when I read what you wrote, I nearly cried, you are so right, this was just the kind of thing I’ve been feeling. both that it may be too late, but also that he just has to be out there somewhere, waiting for the right timing. in the mean time I'm meeting and making friends with some very nice people that I will always cherish. Sometimes, I think we need someone like yourself to remind us that we're fine alone. With someone would be very nice, but it's ok to not want to just 'settle'. I know that there's someone out there for me, your never too old.  | |
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| 38 and thinking its too late
Posted: 8/19/2007 3:18:45 PM | Well, I hope 38 is not too late as my birthdays is tomorrow (20/08) LOL and I will be just 38.
Still looking of course - just one thing... I noticed that I got more fussy/specific with age  | |
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lyndi
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Joined: 7/2/2006
Msg: 267 | |
| 38 and thinking its too late
Posted: 8/20/2007 2:01:04 AM | | well op..i dont mean to rain on your parade..but here is my take on it. I too am 38. I notice that all the positive feedback was mostly from older people who dont want to face that it just may be too late. SOme truely dont believe so. It depends on what you are looking for. I noticed that alot of people mentioned finding love AGAIN...meaning they have found it once already. So get off and let someone else have a chance who has never found it at all. I am not sure i believe in soulmates anymore either...but op....i do believe it is too late at 38. I mean the things i grew up dreaming about having and living. Too late now no matter what happens..i just have to settle now..hoping i can find love. But yes 38 is too late. SOrry to be neg just how i feel. | |
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Diva64
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Joined: 2/3/2007
Msg: 268 | |
| 38 and thinking its too late
Posted: 8/20/2007 2:45:42 AM | Lyndi, EXACTLY what is 38 too late for?? And keep in mind, it's only TOO late for YOU simply because YOU believe it.
But do tell, what exactly is it late for...........kids? My sister just had her miracle child at 45, so uhmmm, nope, not too late for that?
My dear friend didn't start dating until she was 40, she is 45 and got ENGAGED last weekend(on her birthday)i to a man who adores her.....so nope not tolate for that.
Another dear friend is 53 and she too became engaged to the MAN OF ALL OF OUR DREAMS.............(No seroiusly, he is ONE in a million) .............she also wanted to teach dance and go to college and NEVER did those things as she was married right out of high school...........she had been ALONE and lonely for 12 years...........well, she went back to college............this last few years....................got her butt in gear and is teaching dance and aerobics at the local YM CA and ................living a dream she could only imagine..........
SO NOPE..............not too late there...............
ONLY TOO LATE FOR THOSE WHO BELIEVE IT!!!
FOR ME, The Best is YET to be!
REMEMBER, in this life, we don't get what we deserve(thank god) WE GET WHAT WE EXPECT!!!
I can promise you this Lyndi, your negative thoughts will NOT attract a man who is happy healthy and ready for love......................I mean come on........would you be attracted to that attitude? | |
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| 38 and thinking its too late
Posted: 8/20/2007 5:05:52 AM | Diva
I agree, it's all about attitude, I'm never going to stop living, till I'm 6 feet under. A good diet and exercise is important to help you live longer but attitude is more important than anything to help you enjoy it. Roll with the punches and come back stronger when they knock you down. In the game of life sometimes you've got aces and it's easy, sometimes you got to bluff your ass off, and sometimes you've got to fold and live to play another day.
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| 38 and thinking its too late
Posted: 8/20/2007 12:43:13 PM | | I agree with the original poster. It's too late at 38. If I haven't found her by now, it's too late to have everything I ever wanted with respect to a relationship with a soul mate. My soul mate and I were supposed to have a beautiful family. Now at 38, I'm lucky to meet a woman in her 40's who already has kids. Or a single woman who's not willing to have kids because she thinks she's too old. I'm not good at attracting young women who also want a family - so I guess that's it. I can settle for a nice woman to spend time with and try to enjoy life - not too late for that. But soul mate? Nope... should have happen years ago - and it didn't, so the window has past. | |
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| 38 and thinking its too late
Posted: 8/20/2007 1:05:52 PM | To late at 38 are you serious? Your acting like our lives are over. I will never give up my faith that the right woman is out there for me. I think if your willing to give up thinking it will happen then you just don't want to find that person to begin with. As we get older and we are not with anyone in a serious relationship we tend to get selfish with our time and our way of life and when we do meet that person we think damn I don't have enough time to make this work. Well to find your soulmate it takes time your not going to find them in a picture or the words they express over IM'S or E-mails. You have to give it time. Get to now each other. There could be one glance a person gives you and just makes you melt and there are times the same person can give you a look and your like damn what happened. We all have our good and bad days. We judge to fast and we don't try hard enough. It is alot easier to say screw it and go on to the next profile and think this one will be my soulmate... It don't work that way. You get what you give. That is my opinion anyway and like they say opinions are likes asses everyone has one. My faith is finding you will never go away at 38,48,58,68 or With Graces well off into my 70's.  | |
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| 38 and thinking its too late
Posted: 8/20/2007 1:34:37 PM | It's easy to understand how Bothell and others come to that conclusion. Look at me, active, fun, educated, upbeat, living life to the fullest, no real money problems, but put two things together that normally don't fit, 52 and still wanting kids and I'm pretty much guaranteed that in this country I'm going to continue living my life single. I'm not ready to give up but after many many years of looking it's pretty much the only conclusion you can draw. People in this country have there head up there A-S when it comes to finding a mate. I blame advertising, got to find somebody to blame, surely it's not my fault. I'm a catch but there aren't any hooks in this country fishing these waters. It seems I've got to swim to a new pond to find my mate. If I didn't have as much time as I do to find my mate I'd also be forced to give up.
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| 38 and thinking its too late
Posted: 8/20/2007 4:53:27 PM | I'm turning 33 in a few months, and I'm one of those who are still single and childless. I imagine my soul mate being married to someone else. Perhaps our paths met, but we never clicked because we met at the wrong time. I hate when people tell me stories about people in their 40s, 50s, etc who meet their soul mate. These stories do not cheer me up - I don't want to meet someone when I can no longer bear children.
Yes, only time will tell. I won't settle, but I won't be surprised if I become the cat lady down the street who has dozens of cats in her house...trying to fill a void... | |
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| 38 and thinking its too late
Posted: 8/20/2007 5:16:39 PM | I'm with Diva64.
I think if you believe it's too late, you're more likely to make that happen in how you act without realizing it. If you don't believe he's out there (or she's out there), you're less likely to pay attention.
What I find difficult is that in my spare time, I write (my dream is to publish). Unfortunately, it's not an interest that makes it easy to meet people. I'm doing the dating sites (I know that's rather obvious, being here and all ) and I often wonder what some people are looking for. I'm 36, I'm here and I'm not ready to give up, now or at 38 and I want kids. I see myself with the guy who will get me, I see us having kids. And I don't dwell on not having it "now".
If you exist, then he exists.
Guys say the same thing, that they can't find the "right one". So somewhere along the way, there's got to be a match as long as neither give up until they find it.
All I can say is giving up is the first step to it being "too late". | |
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| 38 and thinking its too late
Posted: 8/20/2007 5:42:20 PM | Let me see if this is right...
You will meet him when you least expect it - stop looking and you will find him.
BUT
If you don't believe he's out there, then you won't find him???
I may exist, but he may exist married with kids...
There are thousands of people on this site. Why is it so hard to find someone?
Oh no, have I really given up hope? | |
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