EB1
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Joined: 7/31/2006
Msg: 101 | |
| 38 and thinking its too late
Posted: 3/11/2007 7:34:05 AM | Great, I have 4 more years to go before thinking that my life is over.
Thanks for that | |
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| 38 and thinking its too late
Posted: 3/11/2007 8:10:50 AM | | ^^Nah you will be fine, I got 2 more years and then I am 40. I think my lovelife and dating life are done already. | |
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| 38 and thinking its too late
Posted: 3/11/2007 6:39:51 PM | Lord you all makin me feel old. I'm going to find someone for me, might take till I'm 50 but probably will be worth the wait. I have a Grandfather 95 this year and I can't imagine being alone for the next 53 years if I live to be his age....
Kevin | |
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| 38 and thinking its too late
Posted: 3/11/2007 11:46:30 PM | At our age its difficult, no impossible to find someone without baggage.
Remember when we just got out of school and it was easy to find someone else just starting their lives? Those were the days. Hopefully I'll find someone whose baggage won't collide with mine. | |
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ddream
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Joined: 8/24/2006
Msg: 105 | |
| 38 and thinking its too late
Posted: 3/12/2007 9:03:07 PM | 38, been single for the last 4 years and haven't met my soulmate either.. Probably never gonna happen since I know I won't live that long considering I smoke like an old steam train.......... LOL But then again I couldn't care less... I'm having fun anyways...  | |
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| 38 and thinking its too late
Posted: 3/13/2007 3:51:11 PM | | Well.. I think soulmates are developed over time. I see so many people unwilling to let go of their "fairytale" beliefs about what a relationship should be. Romantic love *always* wears off.. and those little things that weren't such a big deal in the beginning can become huge issues if not dealt with. People grow and change... it is a fact of life. Hopefully, they understand what are their partners needs and goals and can be supportive of each other, which will more often than not involve some sort of compromise. I see too many people who have some sort of "ideal" that they wish their partner to be. When they discover that their partner is unwilling or unable to live up to their imposed "ideal".. well, they think the problem is with their partner. I want to knowe *who* someone is before jumping into anything. She could be drop-dead gorgeous, rich.. (insert your favorite adjective), but if we don't have some basic shared values in life, it's simply a no-go. Relationships *always* involve compromise. If you're not willing to let go of rigid expectations, you will always be disappointed. I see so many profiles on here listing exactly what it is they want in a partner and unfortunately they are usually physical characteristics. I pass over those profiles in a heart beat because it is a huge red flag that there will likely be *more* rigid expectations of who, or what it is that I should or shouldn't be. I'm just me.. flaws and all, take it or leave it. And that is not to say that I'm not receptive to constructive criticism, but women have been building their fantasy husbands in their head since childhood and I don't think most men have given as much thought. | |
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| 38 and thinking its too late
Posted: 3/14/2007 12:15:06 PM | | then 44 must be awful too late i give up on trying to find someone even just to be friends | |
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Hilti
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Joined: 9/4/2005
Msg: 108 | |
| 38 and thinking its too late
Posted: 3/14/2007 4:44:28 PM | soulmate...
i would think first off you would need to believe you have a soul to have a *soulmate* ...
most of us dont believe in religeon/afterlife/ect so that *soul* idea is sorta distorted which makes it hard to *mate* souls
i try and respect peoples beliefs n such as much as i can but in all honesty i have yet to truely accept anyone who believes in *souls* ....sorry but religeons are such a joke..
so then go back to finding a person who is made only for you...and you only for them...kinda sounds borring if you truely think of it....
myself i try and maintain friendships ....well even that is incorrect...if i have to *try* then i tend to loose intreest....but the point i am trying to make is to meet new people and maintain friendships with them and with time hopefully you will get a connection.....if it lasts congrats ....if it doesnt then i find it better to simply enjoy the moments that were good and move on ....
so i wouldnt hold out for some *soulmate* ....i would rather suggest you find someone who accepts you and the relationship for what it is and as long as you are both drawn to each other then be happy you have found a friend who is more.... | |
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| 38 and thinking its too late
Posted: 3/14/2007 8:47:04 PM | okay so i didn't find my soulmate the first time i married him......so i was dumb enough to try again, married him too and he sure as hell was far from ever being my soulmate....that's why i'm not with him.
well, no more marrying for me....no way jose`, no can do...
it's this way, i'm going on 43, if i haven't found him yet that i'm starting to have high doubts that i ever will find him. oh well, looks like he's going to have to try harder with finding me.
who knows, he and i just might be right under each other's nose. | |
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| 38 and thinking its too late
Posted: 3/15/2007 2:00:57 AM | "women have been building their fantasy husbands in their head since childhood and I don't think most men have given as much thought."
I do believe that women do build their fantasy husband in their heads AT childhood, but at our age we are wise enough to know that is just not the case...
Sure men do give it a lot of thaught, just read somr of their profiles.
Most of the girls I know my age just don't know what they want, perhaps just someone to get along with for their aging years but most definately a good companion.
Solemate? What exactically is that? How many bedmates do we have to go through to find that? | |
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| 38 and thinking its too late
Posted: 3/15/2007 6:29:35 AM | | Not really. This age is more about longer everything. Life is so long now that you hear 40 is the new 30 and other bullshit. BUt honestly, you are ONLY 38, so try not to give up. Quitters...well don't be one | |
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nalker
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Joined: 4/17/2006
Msg: 112 | |
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| 38 and thinking its too late
Posted: 3/15/2007 12:40:20 PM | | Your only 38 your not dead...as long as your happy with yourself, you will find the one that is meant for you...don't give up hope! | |
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| 38 and thinking its too late
Posted: 3/15/2007 12:41:00 PM | | Your only 38 your not dead...as long as your happy with yourself, you will find the one that is meant for you...don't give up hope! | |
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nalker
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Joined: 4/17/2006
Msg: 115 | |
| 38 and thinking its too late
Posted: 3/16/2007 12:54:04 AM | Oh, I just thought of sometimes... It may brighten your day :~)
After you turn thirty you have a better chance of being struck by lightning than getting married.. REALLY. I read that somewhere... I don't think it was a bumper sticker either | |
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| 38 and thinking its too late
Posted: 3/16/2007 3:16:25 AM | | I met my soulmate when I was nearly 28. We spent 8 years together, had two children together and then he died. The children are too young to remember their father and I will have to spend the rest of my life without him. I am so sad for him and our family. | |
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| 38 and thinking its too late
Posted: 3/16/2007 7:28:57 AM | No 38 is not too late. It can't be, I'm still searching and I won't allow a cap to be installed. :) I had big plan's as a 20 something, barbeque's with the family and friend's, travelling to show the kid's what cool place's there is all around the world and such, teaching a young son or daughter how to tie their shoe's or even wash dishes. Basically from the really fun stuff to the mundane. As of yet I haven't found a lady who I'd like to share these experince's with, let alone raise kid's with. A little soul searching on my behalf has led me to belive as other's have stated on this forum, expectation's and desire's may be a little on the unrealistic side. Remembering no one is pefect, myself/yourself included, how can we expect/desire perfection? To be honest I couldn't tell perfection in another any better than I could see it in myself. So is a soulmate someone who fit's in all the litle boxe's you tick off as their profile is read?
I feel that "perfection" isn't a person you settle for but rather a person who's supposed "fault's" you love. The closest and dearest connection you can have with another, plutonicly of course, is with abest friend. I and maybe you as well are looking for a best friend with a romatic attachment. Someone to share thought's dream's and goals with as well as knowing there favorite tickle spot's!!!
Just some of my thought's. | |
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| 38 and thinking its too late
Posted: 3/16/2007 1:09:53 PM | | Nah .. 38 for a guy is N O T H I N G ... if you were a woman, id say, well, not TOO late as you have a few baby bearing years left. However, once your fertility dries up, then yeah .. its too late, unless you want to be a some younger guy's fantasy experience (all younger guys want to try an older woman). | |
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| 38 and thinking its too late
Posted: 3/17/2007 12:45:26 AM | tml2c if it's to late for you uummm hmmmm then I think I am doomed I'll be 39 in april.   | |
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| 38 and thinking its too late
Posted: 3/17/2007 4:23:52 AM | Hmm that's a tricky one, I'm thinking that after my most prominent relationship (17yrs old to 27yrs old) it was not to be, I went a bit wild for a while and then found someone I liked but sort of just hung out for about 3 months and held back from being his "girlfriend" if you like as he was 6 yrs younger than me. I thought that we would invariably want different things at different times in our lives. Yep - that was the case - we've been together for 4 yrs this month and I would like to settle down & have kids, he's not keen.... Things are never straight forward and sometimes they seem to be more difficult than they actually are. I think everything happens for a reason and when you are least expecting it - or wanting it - someone will catch your eye and situations occur or develop.
Here's hoping that things are on the way to developing into something beautiful and fulfilling for you.... | |
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| 38 and thinking its too late
Posted: 3/17/2007 4:27:44 AM | Hi sweetheart,
I'm so sorry to hear that, your heart must be breaking for your kids and yourself. At least you have the kids to remind you of him I suppose. Hope you find happiness one day.... | |
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| 38 and thinking its too late
Posted: 3/17/2007 5:59:37 AM | | I'm thirty eight and half my life is over. With that said. All that has lead up to this point in my life has made me stronger and wiser. Sometimes I wonder if my soul mate came into my life earlier if I would ruin it. Now when she comes I'll be ready. | |
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| 38 and thinking its too late
Posted: 3/18/2007 6:53:24 AM | A very complex question..... My thoughts are it depends on you.
You could be a big jerk. Then good luck.
You could be a great guy. Then love will find you and stick around.
You could have Jeckle and Hyde syndrome.....
Are you a mean drunk or life of the party?
My point is (and I'm assuming your a nice guy actually) is that i can't answer that. Only you can. I hope you find what your looking for though!
Good luck and cheers! | |
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| 38 and thinking its too late
Posted: 3/18/2007 8:55:03 AM | I do think as we hit our late 30's and if we are still single, we will more than likely be single for most of our 40's. People's standards and expectations with the opposite sex become higher and thus we do not compromise these days.
Ever notice the many women who have no expectations when dating a much younger guy compared to dating a guy her age?
From a guy's view I think women take a step back when they meet someone who is their age, who may be a decent guy, and start to find what his flaws are and use that as a reason why to not get involved with him. Seems today more and more people want perfection. So yes late 30's and up, if you are single it is too late for sure. | |
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| 38 and thinking its too late
Posted: 3/18/2007 8:59:54 AM | Jesus, if it's hard for normal people to hook up/find a relationship at 38 imagine how hard it's going to be for me?
Only 7 years left, now what are the chances I'll find someone/anything by then when I'm 31 and have never even had a woman show interest in me offline? Excuse me while I fall off my chair laughing. | |
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