| Have any of you guys dated black women and if not why?
Posted: 8/12/2006 5:41:44 PM | | Yes I have dated black women and would do so again in a heartbeat if the opportunity came up. That being said unfortunately I dont come across many black women who are interested in dating white males though? | |
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| Have any of you guys dated black women and if not why?
Posted: 8/12/2006 9:00:16 PM | I'm sure I met Almond Cookie at the Guinness Party. Definately a YES vote from me.
Very few blacks in school with me. Met my first one in high school. We were good friends. Never dated HIM for obvious reasons LOL!
Today you would be hard pressed to find a white person at that same school. Very bad, ethnic hate problems there. Numerous extremely violent clashes with various ethnic gangs armed with machetes slicing each other up in the gym!
Sadly I doubt if any one there would date a person from another race or ethnic group today.
Racism exists, but it's not just whites vs everybody else now. I can understand how some folks would be reluctant to date "others" of any group. | |
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| Dating a black woman?
Posted: 8/12/2006 10:05:40 PM | Married one, dated many. I have rather particular tastes, a dark complexion is pretty much a basic requirement for me to look twice at a woman. There are a lot of "African-American" women who really don't qualify as black in my opinion. Everybody has their own preferences, I guess.
Responses, on a site like this, are pretty much dependent on the kind of information put up and the pictures posted. If you feel you are not getting the level of responses hoped for, you probably ought to revise your profile to make it more appealing to your target audience. A picture with a smile probably goes a long way. | |
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| Dating a black woman?
Posted: 8/13/2006 12:01:42 AM | I dated a black girl once, a long time ago. We had a good time, got along well together, then she introduced me to her parents. When her dad found out I'm white, he totally lost it. Told her to break up with me or he'd kick her out of the house.
Too bad it worked out that way, but things happen. She was the only black girl I ever met that I clicked with, though. | |
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| Dating a black woman?
Posted: 8/13/2006 12:32:15 AM | | haven't had the opportunity and should an opportunity arise, I don't see a problem with it.. | |
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| Have any of you guys dated black women and if not why?
Posted: 8/13/2006 2:37:06 PM |
No I haven't, my family comes first and always will. Come from a small northern town and reality is reality. It doesn't go over. No offence to any culture, thats the way it is. I know this will get all sorts of negative reaction .........so be it.
I feel it at times,the negativity from people here in Southern Ontario that we are just country hicks...well proud to be one !!!
I agree with you 100%, in your case, keep your family coming first. I don't think you would even be in the running for a female of african descent. I can't speak for all of us, but this topic (dating a man who is non-black) has come up quite a bit between myself and other females of african descent and in general I don't think any of us would ever miss you. Keep being proud my friend....
MsRiddle | |
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| Have any of you guys dated black women and if not why?
Posted: 8/13/2006 3:00:16 PM | Well yes I have !
And I don't see why not either.
As if me and a lovely lady click it does not matter to me if she is black /white/asian/etc
All I see is the pretty lovely lady whom has clicked with me .
Would I do it again sure why not a pretty lady is a pretty lady !And if I get to date any more black ladies I won't be saying No !
So I guess I am a person who sees the lady for who she is and not her skin color .
And alot of people should start seeing a woman for who she is and not her skin color .
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| Have any of you guys dated black women and if not why?
Posted: 8/14/2006 5:04:38 AM | @almond:Media rarely depicts you as attractive? On what continent? You can't breath without the media extolling the virtues of the Asian or Black communities. Give me a break.
OP: I read your profile, and if perchance you have trouble meeting men that fit your needs it could be attributed more to having almost zero information on your profile? It gives us nothing to go on other than your age, and that your interests are "varied". You get out of dating what you put into it, and it seems to me that might be a better place to spend your energy than implying that men need to actually justify not dating you. That is way over the top. But to answer your question, lest this thread devolve from a whine to outright racism, I have dated a black woman. For almost three years. | |
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| Have any of you guys dated black women and if not why?
Posted: 8/14/2006 10:28:23 AM | Being a blk woman myself...I guess I don't really have that problem for a few reasons
1) I make it clear in my profile, that I am open to all races, thus casting a larger net.
2) I have at least one photo...turst me you need a photo...no photo, no replies.
I use to respond to men with no pic...only to spend alot of time chasing them down for a photo, then they wanted my e-mailI, then they just wanted to talk, then meet, and still no pic...The ones that I did receive pic from, it turned out that I was not interested at all
3) I have dated other cultures before, so I am not too uptight about it, and I say something about myself in my profile, think of it like a job interview...gotta sell yourself, even if its just a little.
Girl, you need to revisit your profile, sure mine is not perfect, in fact I have been told that it is too restrictive, but at least I get plenty of responses...well I am actually looking for quality. not quanity,so I keep having to revise it.
Finally, there are plenty of white/other men on this site that would date a black women, you just need to give them a chance...and sometimes you have to do the approaching, not just sit and wait for them to find you. Good luck girl
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| Have any of you guys dated black women and if not why?
Posted: 8/14/2006 2:21:21 PM | I am open to any race.
But I am more attracted to black woman ... I have always been this way . And I live in city and a culture that makes it pretty acceptable. I feel blessed for this.
A really good film on this topic is "Something New" . It came out about 8 months ago in the U.S. Check it out might be hard to locate as it was only released in the states. (satellite and Video??)
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0437777/ | |
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| Have any of you guys dated black women and if not why?
Posted: 8/14/2006 2:25:09 PM | | A person is a person. Colour makes no difference....cultures are different, religious beliefs can be similar or different, but skin colour is really a lame excuse for not dating anyone. We're all of one speices and of one planet. Diversity is the key to life. | |
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| Have any of you guys dated black women and if not why?
Posted: 8/16/2006 9:32:14 AM | almondcookie, you've completely extended the concept to a absurd extreme, the subtlety is completely lost.
All this pent up anger and fustration out on others who's opinion are not the same as yours? A little advice !!no one likes a whiner just as much as no one likes a person who voices opinions from a plateau of fustration and anger.
Have you considered the reason why your email box isn't flooded is because of you??
maybe change the attitude a bit???
Just my 2 cents | |
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| Have any of you guys dated black women and if not why?
Posted: 8/16/2006 9:44:48 AM | ^^^I think you have hit the nail on the head onegreatm8.
I have since read some of the other posts by almondcookie and I'm affraid that the angry, negative attitude and aggresive manner of putting herself forward has put an unfavorable foot forward. I would think that many men reading almondcookies posts would be put off by the negative vibe. Confidence and pride in ones self brings about more positive interactions with the people you truely desire. Regardless of colour!! This is not a race problem, this is an attitude problem. | |
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| Dates for Black Women?
Posted: 8/16/2006 12:28:58 PM | Okay, I just checked back on this thread and found some of the additional comments a bit unfortunate. I realize that some people don't help their own cause by the tone of their comments made here. Fair enough. Some people see ordinary bias just a bit too much in conspiritorial terms.
A couple folks have thrown in the obvious advice to the original poster and it does apply to others here too if they want better responses. I think it took a lot of guts for one of the posters to reply here with his opinion. But, if a given black woman has found that to be the standard response she gets, I can see that causing some distress and producing (unfair) generalizations. Not everybody has a good experience.
You know, my teenage years were spent in one of those hick towns way up north. For most of that time, the only -- I mean only -- black woman was a girl several years my junior. She was the youngest and adopted child of a white family and she had 3 or 4 big (and I mean big) brothers. Woe be to anyone that ever picked on her for any reason (oh, and dad was a cop). She was a hottie as she matured and had boys around her constantly. I was friends with one of the brothers so I'm clear on how she was treated and how they expected their little sister to be treated.
Point is, I'm sure her experience of life as a visible minority was great. Not so for many others. Attitude does matter, I grant that and everyone ought to look carefully at themselves to see whether their lack of success in finding the relationship they are after is simply a reflection of what they present as themselves. That said, sometimes you have to be a bit sensitive too.
I know another black woman whose experience of growing up in a small northern town was one long nightmare. It affected her outlook in such a profound and total manner that I would have to say she never really will get over it. There is a sad level of self-hatred that is almost programmed into her soul because of her miserable childhood. What can you do?
We don't really know the person behind the screen name. We don't know the reasons for the feelings expressed. Hopefully the bulk of the responses to this thread offer those who have doubts to find some reason to feel a bit better about the prospects they are seeking. | |
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| Have any of you guys dated black women and if not why?
Posted: 8/16/2006 5:57:20 PM | Leeanne:
Your reaction fascinates me. Someone steps on my toe. I say "Ouch" that hurts. Then, you and other likeminded individuals point to the fact that I said "Ouch" as the reason my toe got stepped on.....PL-E-E-A-S-E!!!
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| Have any of you guys dated black women and if not why?
Posted: 8/18/2006 8:55:49 AM | find this site pretty interesting especially the instant communicator.As a black woman, I am curious about interracial dating in Toronto,and the frequency with which it happens out here.I don't see much of it betweeen black females and other ethnic groups
I am a BW and I have been involved in IR relationships for actually over 20 years because my first real Boyfriend was a White guy and believe me this was during a time when IR relationships were not the wave that it is now. I am sorry but I just don't get it. I am so tired of the woe is me attitude that you are expressing. I mean if you like White guys have you tried to contact one on this site? Girl you have to go for what you want. Are you sitting around waiting on a Prince to come on a White horse and sweep you off your feet? or do you get out and try to mingle. Do you have confidence in yourself? I mean no one is going to be interested in you if you don't love yourself.
My cousin is overweight and average looking but when we use to go out do you think that bothered her. She could get some of the best looking men because of her personality and everyone loved her. She was the life of the party and our skinny little butts would be on the sidelines | |
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| Have any of you guys dated black women and if not why?
Posted: 8/18/2006 9:25:00 AM | I have been following a few discussions started by Asian men and Black women. There seems to be a pattern. Since the media rarely depicts us as attractive and desireable, a lot of us end up feeling invisible when it comes to dating
Speak for yourself girlfriend. I am a BW and I have never felt that way about myself. Sweetie you have lost your confidence and you have allowed others to define you as a person and that is very unattractive to men. Men like confident women no matter what race they are. I have been involved in IR relationships for over 20 years. My ex-husband was White and the man that I am currently dating is White and when I go places I still get hit on so my advice to you is to love yourself and stop letting others speak into your life and lower your self esteem. | |
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| Have any of you guys dated black women and if not why?
Posted: 8/18/2006 9:40:12 AM | ^^^I think you have hit the nail on the head onegreatm8.
I have since read some of the other posts by almondcookie and I'm affraid that the angry, negative attitude and aggresive manner of putting herself forward has put an unfavorable foot forward. I would think that many men reading almondcookies posts would be put off by the negative vibe. Confidence and pride in ones self brings about more positive interactions with the people you truely desire. Regardless of colour!! This is not a race problem, this is an attitude problem
Low self-esteem is very unattractive. | |
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| Have any of you guys dated black women and if not why?
Posted: 8/18/2006 8:27:27 PM | | Baby, there is not a thing wrong with my self-esteem. I have the guts and confidence to speak out about tough issues that some would like to see shoved under the rug and I will continue to do so. | |
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| Have any of you guys dated black women and if not why?
Posted: 8/18/2006 11:55:13 PM | Hi All. Ok - I've been reading all the way through this thread and have too much to say about this topic to keep quiet any longer. Here's my story: My family is from the tiny caribbean island Trinidad. Trinidadians are an extremely mixed-race culture. The Carib Indians were the first inhabitants until the island was discovered by Christopher Columbus then the Spanish and Portuguese invaded and brought their African slaves to the island. Then Chinese and East Indian merchants and labourers settled along with English and French. So you've got a lot of inter-mingling going on between all the nationalities and eventually you end up with people like me, who are combinations of all of it! Both my maternal grandparents came directly from India to Trinidad. One paternal grandparent is chinese and white mixed, and one is spanish and negro mixed. Therefore I am half Indian, 1/8 white, 1/8 chinese, 1/8 black and 1/8 spanish. I don't consider myself of any 'race', but I do consider myself Trinidadian. Belonging to the Trinidad culture. If pressed to give an answer when asked what race I am, I will say Indian, because by the math, that's how it adds up.
BUT ... I have been living in SW Ontario since 1971. And because of the way I look (ie: 8 shades darker than white) I have been labelled as "black" and grouped into that category by Ontarians. It really, really bugs me when people who think they are trying to be politically correct call me "African American" I tell them I am neither African OR American, but Trinidadian.
Anyway - my point is - I agree with the person who said it is not about race, it's about culture. I totally agree. I have all three of the predominant races in my blood: negro, oriental and cacausian. It's not a matter of finding someone of the same race, 'cause who would I pick? For me personally, it is a matter of finding someone with cultural compatability which I find very difficult to do in this city where I grew up and went to school and still live. I had to adapt to Canadian "culture" if I wanted to have any kind of a social / dating life and meet men. And I LOVE men. I like them in all shapes and sizes and colours. White, brown, biege, pink, purple and yellow polka-dotted. A good looking man, is a good looking man in any colour. But there were only were only white men around me while I grew up here in the 70's and 80's, so I married a white guy and had children with him, but we were completely incompatible. Now I sit back and watch my auties and uncles who have had long term marriages, and even my brother who is dark skinned, but he's with a white Trini girl and I get what has been missing from my life - and it is the cultural compatability.
And to the sistah who is not having any luck finding white guys on PoF I say: I don't get what the problem is, because I have been on this site since April, and I have met so many really nice, true gentlemen (most of whom are white - only 2 black) and have nothing but good experiences to share. It has been all positive vibes. So in the meantime, I'm going to continue to explore what is out there and have fun, and hope to one day hook up with my culturally compatible equal .... | |
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| Have any of you guys dated black women and if not why?
Posted: 8/19/2006 4:52:23 AM |
I have the guts and confidence to speak out about tough issues that some would like to see shoved under the rug and I will continue to do so.
First, I have to agree with some of the other posters, your responses in this thread (and others) seem way too negative and angry. Why so much anger?
With regard to your post that I've quoted, what do guts and confidence have to do with it? What makes you believe that the issues you speak of are "tough" and that some would like them "shoved under the rug"? Maybe some just don't care enough to let society or the media dictate to them how their life is going to be. I agree with the lady that stated she's had no problems dating outside her ethnic and cultural group, neither have I. I think if you have that problem, that you might want to start looking within. If you don't, then, you still could use the attitude adjustment. I say none of this with hostility, I say all of it with concern. Good luck.
MsRiddle | |
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| Have any of you guys dated black women and if not why?
Posted: 8/19/2006 5:10:19 PM | And to the sistah who is not having any luck finding white guys on PoF I say: I don't get what the problem is, because I have been on this site since April, and I have met so many really nice, true gentlemen (most of whom are white - only 2 black) and have nothing but good experiences to share.
nom deplume,
In your profile, you describe your race as Other Ethnicity with Black Hair, NOT African American so I don't really think that you are in a position to comment on how much response women who describe themselves as "African American" on this site are or are not receiving. I am not really African AMERICAN either but there is no other descriptor for a Black people who aren't American so that is what I have used up until now. My ancetry is mostly African with some European thrown into the mix...sounds Black to me. :) Try changing YOUR profile to African American for a month and see how much response you get. For fun, I changed my race to White on another site a few years ago. It was night and day. The only change I made in the profile was race. I went from receiving no response one day to receiving TONS of responses as a "WHITE" woman. When I changed it back to Black...again...SILENCE!!
You know what...DONE!!
In terms of anger vs not anger....some of us have had the guts to speak out about a tough issue...and yes, one only needs to read some of the responses to see that this is the case. So speaking out when others would rather remain silent or pretend that everything in the garden is fine makes some perceive this as anger? Interesting and fascinating. Remember that is YOUR projection and says more about you than the people who have the courage to speak up.
Fact: There are many White men who will not even consider dating or marrying a Black woman.
Fact: There are many White women who will not even consider dating or marrying an Asian man.
Many have admitted to this in a number of these discussions. If you think that it is okay for people to rule people out strictly based on race, nothing else, you are entitled to your opinion. Clearly there are some of us who disagree and we have a right to be heard too. | |
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