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| Have any of you guys dated black women and if not why?
Posted: 8/22/2006 8:21:33 PM | I have dated a few black women but it has been several years ago now. I would definetely do it again if the opportunity presented itself. I think there are many white men who would be interested in dating black women but they are not sure how to approach them. I think many white males are real curious but intimidated.
Interesting footnote here. One of the black women I dated was a Jamaican who lived in Canada. She told me that black people in the US are different from black people in Canada. She said most U.S. blacks have chips on their shoulders and one even accused her of trying to be "white" because she spoke with a British accent like most Jamaicans do. | |
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| Have any of you guys dated black women and if not why?
Posted: 8/23/2006 5:48:28 AM |
She told me that black people in the US are different from black people in Canada. She said most U.S. blacks have chips on their shoulders and one even accused her of trying to be "white" because she spoke with a British accent like most Jamaicans do.
Although this isn't a statement you made, I would still like to speak to it.
I think that is insane. You can't lump a majority of people into one category that way. I live in the states and I certainly have no chip on my shoulder. I welcome men of other ethnic and cultural backgrounds to approach me, but I can't wear a sign around my neck reflecting that. I do my fair share to let those outside of my ethnic and cultural spectrum know that it's o.k. I talk to everyone, I'm very friendly and warm from beginning to end, I've been told this by many and so I'm inclined to believe it's holds great validity. I don't doubt that your ex-significant other experienced some indifference here, but hopefully she is wiser now and knows that one or few people are hardly indicative of all people. I also don't think it's just the "black people" within the states. In regard to US "black people" being different from Canadian "black people", that is true in and of itself, meaning, this would be true of everything (landmarks, rivers, all people, language, way of life, culture, EVERYTHING!), not just "black people". I'm saddened sometimes by the amount of stereotypes that are out there about people of african descent. The majority of them are simply untrue and if true, are not expressive of ALL people of african descent. I've had to refute a lot of preconceived notions about me (because of my descent), I've been an eye opener to some and some may continue to hold their beliefs true. Although saddened, I'm still hopeful that someday we can all let it go and be better than those before us.
MsRiddle | |
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| Stereotyping
Posted: 8/23/2006 8:33:40 AM | Some of the preceding comments on "black" women and sexuality were pretty funny to me. They're prudes... no they're not. Geez. In any artibrary population group you wish to examine, I'm sure you can find both extremes and a lot in the middle. Any given person's opinion of the grouping considered however will be based on their own experiences. Now, if the sample is one or two people, it is probably wise not to generalize, but not everybody is that wise.
I'm saddened sometimes by the amount of stereotypes that are out there about people of african descent.
Everybody is subjected to stereotyping. This is not limited to "black" people. Newfoundlanders are generally unemployed and poor, people from Toe-ron-toe are incredibly self-centered (like the rest of Canada doesn't exist) and nobody understands the folks from Alberta. Asians are the worst drivers, but Montrealers are a close second, women in general are pretty bad drivers too. French is the language of choice in Montreal.
Acutally, I found, growing up in northern Ontario that the people in northerm Michigan are pretty much the same. People from southern Ontario were kind of weird when I first moved down here. I mean, they think a couple centemeters of snow constitute a storm worthy of closing schools. A two hour drive is considered a long distance. And there seem to be hardly any Indians anywhere.
I think the stereotypes that bother people are the ones that other people apply to them. I just try to laugh it off, personally. Everybody carries a bag-o-stereotypes with them. Even me. You can't help it, you can adjust as you meet more people. Sometimes people don't though.
I'm still hopeful that someday we can all let it go and be better than those before us.
Well, after a few thousand years of civilization, I think it's pretty clear we all just can't get along. It helps to try though. Stereotypes, in this respect, are part of the arsenal of escalation when people don't get along. I don't think that's really so surprising, and let's face facts, when two people don't get along there are all sorts of stereotyping to cling to to justify one's opinion of the other.
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| Stereotyping
Posted: 8/23/2006 9:27:22 AM |
Everybody is subjected to stereotyping. This is not limited to "black" people.
Ralph, I'm sure you're an intelligent man, so I need you to act as such. I replied to a specific post regarding the stereotyping of "black" people. I in no shape, form, or fashion meant that to be taken as "woe is me". I'm not very good at playing anyone's victim, however, I can't turn a blind eye to what I saddens me nor what I am hopeful for. Your attempt to refute my post by bringing up history was a waste of your time as I was simply speaking to ONE post, not the nation. I've seen tons of ignorance posed against many denominations of people and when and if the time presents itself, I will speak to that if I so choose, but for now let's stick to the main subject.
Well, after a few thousand years of civilization, I think it's pretty clear we all just can't get along. It helps to try though.
That is a personal opinion and you are entitled, but keep in mind that so am I.
Stereotypes, in this respect, are part of the a***nal of escalation when people don't get along. I don't think that's really so surprising, and let's face facts, when two people don't get along there are all sorts of stereotyping to cling to to justify one's opinion of the other.
I'm unclear if this part was just a rant or indeed directed toward me. If directed toward me, here is my reply, if not please feel free to bypass.
Once again you are convicting when there is no guilt. Stereotypes are not a cruch for me, never have been. Stereotypes do nothing for me except perpetuate the very thing that I am not. I'm very capable of holding my own, I have in the past and will continue in the future.
MsRiddle | |
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| Have any of you guys dated black women and if not why?
Posted: 8/23/2006 11:32:25 AM | Well its a minor detail but I can assure you that a Jamaican does NOT have a British accent unless they were born and brought up in Britain .So that is a complete fallacy.A Jamaican accent is very marked .Its NOT a British accent.
Suppose I should address the topic as well:
If white guys don't want to date you,its obvious that you should date within.Why not ?
You can't force political correctness on the dating game.Its personal preference .
Personally I wouldn't and haven't .I am not attracted to the looks and features and its nothing to do with skin colour .It doesn't matter how nice you may be if the intial attraction is not there....nothing doing and various factors go into attractiveness overall for me and yes ethnic origin does play a part in that its the make up of that person.The background shapes that person and your future together .
Yeah,I know that I am looking long term but if I wanted just a quick roll in the hay...then I still look at intial attraction and I am afraid that there are lots of other nations who I think are super hot......and I think that someone will come back and say......they don't think that I am so cool either....its all good because I just addressed the topic and question in hand and I hope that its taken in the right way. Thanks and good day! | |
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weena
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Joined: 7/21/2006
Msg: 81 | |
| Have any of you guys dated black women and if not why?
Posted: 8/23/2006 7:03:37 PM |
If white guys don't want to date you,its obvious that you should date within.Why not ?
Excuse me? what did you just say? How is it obvious? I've had this conversation with many of my friends who are married interracially, dating interracially...that has got to be one of the most ignorant statements I've heard in a while. You can't help what person you are attracted to...and why are you pointing out that they should limit themselves to only dating within? they can date whoever they want. | |
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| Have any of you guys dated black women and if not why?
Posted: 8/23/2006 7:40:12 PM | If white guys don't want to date you,its obvious that you should date within.Why not ?
Excuse me? what did you just say? How is it obvious? I've had this conversation with many of my friends who are married interracially, dating interracially...that has got to be one of the most ignorant statements I've heard in a while. You can't help what person you are attracted to...and why are you pointing out that they should limit themselves to only dating within? they can date whoever they want.
I too, at first, was quite winded by this statement, but I then started to think about it. Nick could be referring to the OP's initial question, I'm evidently not sure, but maybe. If he did indeed post this as what one could perceive a grave generalization then you, I, and others know that Nick couldn't possibly be the spokesman for ALL "white" guys so it is still something to look over. I'll save other comments as Nick has not had or may not take the opportunity to clarify.
MsRiddle | |
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| Have any of you guys dated black women and if not why?
Posted: 8/23/2006 8:46:21 PM | Ah Nicktomlinrhys, care to esplain Lucy what that means?
If white guys don't want to date you,its obvious that you should date within.Why not ?
she spoke with a British accent like most Jamaicans do.RDtoo
Im afraid someone hasnt been around too many Jamaicans, first I've never met a Jamaican with a british accents, just in case you didnt know this, England is nowhere near Jamaica, you can google it and see for your self if you dont believe me, that like saying "I met a gal from Bermuda but she was cool because she spoke with a German accent"but she was born and raised in Bermuda" | |
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| Stereotypes and Dates for Black Women
Posted: 8/23/2006 8:46:50 PM | How some of the folks commenting managed to find this thread leaves my amazed, but there you go.
@MsRiddle
I'm sure you're an intelligent man, so I need you to act as such.
Play nice, MsRiddle :)
I replied to a specific post regarding the stereotyping of "black" people... I was simply speaking to ONE post, not the nation.
And my remarks should be seen as a reasonable generalization. Something you actually initiated in your comment although your focus pushed only at the subtle truism of the intitial statement. I felt more attention and detail ought to be brought to the stereotyping of people. I'm not sure how this can be seen as reflecting on you as viewing yourself as a victim or for that matter an attempt to refute your comments.
That is a personal opinion and you are entitled, but keep in mind that so am I.
Well, mine is an historically informed statement. You are entitled to your opinion though :)
...just a rant or indeed directed toward me...
Neither. It is an observation of human interaction in conflict.
@nicktomlinrhys
...a Jamaican does NOT have a British accent...
True. Though Americans are not likely to notice the distinction as much as Britains might.
You can't force political correctness on the dating game.
True.
Personally I wouldn't and haven't .I am not attracted to the looks and features and its nothing to do with skin colour .
To be fair, your "wouldn't" is conditioned on the "looks and features" of those black women you have met. There is a lot of variation so who knows, maybe you'll come around. Never say never.
...its obvious that you should date within...
If you preferred Swedes but found yourself constantly rejected by them, would you like someone telling you to accept reality and date Spaniards? You should never give advice you wouldn't take yourself. | |
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| Have any of you guys dated black women and if not why?
Posted: 8/23/2006 10:33:29 PM | Honestly I see lots of interracial dating in my travels. I myself have dated 2 black men, in the past. Both wonderful guys. I date guys, not colours. But hey, that's my choice. By the way.the men persued me..........but I reciprocated at the time. It's all good far as I can see.... | |
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| Have any of you guys dated black women and if not why?
Posted: 8/23/2006 10:45:22 PM | Okay now everyone take a little breather before someone blows a gasket !
 And yes I have met people from jamaica who do speak with british accents .
And also ones who spoke french only .
I have met people in ontario here who also speak either spanish only or french only . So its not where your from as to what you speak okay.
And as for those who feel it is a taboo to date someone of a different culture thats enterly everyones own choice .
As for me well if shes a sweet sexy single lady and shes wanting me well who the heck cares what her skin color is . I just see the lovely lady and if she has a better tan then me I'll just tell her she cheated to get hers !haha
So never be afraid to date someone even if their skin color or their cultural back ground is not the same as yours . As you would be passing up maybe a fantastic person. | |
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| Stereotypes and Dates for Black Women
Posted: 8/24/2006 6:56:43 AM | Play nice, MsRiddle :)
I don't play any other way Ralph 
And my remarks should be seen as a reasonable generalization.
Not when they're made directly under another person's post that you have quoted. A person quite naturally thinks that you are referring to them and something they've posted, thus the response you got from me directly back to you.
I'm not sure how this can be seen as reflecting on you as viewing yourself as a victim or for that matter an attempt to refute your comments.
same as above. If you are meaning to be general, don't quote a specific person. I'm no size 2, but I haven't quite made it to the size of the general public either  . You don't strike me as a man that's easily confused Ralph, so I'm surprised you didn't see where I was coming from with my response.
I felt more attention and detail ought to be brought to the stereotyping of people.
Operative word being "I", meaning YOU felt more attention and detail was needed. Again, I was NOT speaking to the nation, I was focused on ONE post in ONE thread. Again, when and if the time presents itself, I'll speak to other stereotypes, but not in a thread regarding a very specific topic.
Well, mine is an historically informed statement. You are entitled to your opinion though :)
I'm unsure why you felt your "historically informed statement" was significant or correct. History to me is just that, HIS(story), I'm not the firm believer in it that you may have assumed. Also, you are stating the obvious, consider me "in the know" with regard to one being entitled to their own opinions.
Neither. It is an observation of human interaction in conflict.
Again, I'm unclear why this is here. I stated if it wasn't directed toward me, feel free to bypass. I guess you couldn't resist the temptation to respond, how naughty  .
MsRiddle | |
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| Have any of you guys dated black women and if not why?
Posted: 8/24/2006 7:27:31 AM | Firmbear, Im sorry to break this to you but If someone from Jamaica speaks with a british accent would probably mean he/she was born in the UK then emigrated to Jamaica then emigrated to Canada.
I've met Chinese people with Jamaician accents even though they have lived in Canada over 20 yrs , but and this a big but they were born in Jamaica. | |
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| Have any of you guys dated black women and if not why?
Posted: 8/24/2006 8:39:21 AM | | I've dated a few. It wasn't about race, it was about personality. It didn't work out for whatever reasons, same as any relationship. My buddy Jeff though, he's a nut. He's all about it. He's all about brown girls. French dude aka****block... He's a trip | |
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| Dates for the Black Woman
Posted: 8/24/2006 11:40:50 AM | Yeah, I'd date a black woman... I think its important to say -- for the moderators ;)
Well, Miss Riddle, you certainly intend to stir this pot :)
That's fine with me. I'll note that your quotations were used as bases for my generalizations. I'm still at a loss as to why the tone of your initial response seemed so offended. Even if you were determined to read these general comments as directed to you and only you (which given this is a public forum seems unreasonable in my opinion), I still don't see how you can derive your conclusions. If I wanted to say you're acting like a victim or there's something I intend to refute about your comments, I would have done it a bit more bluntly. So you know, if I did offend you, accept my appology, it was not intended. Okay?
A lesson to learn, MsRiddle, is that HIS-story is HER-story too. Unless you think that women during the Thirty Years War somehow escaped the gruesome implications of HIS-story. There might be a nominal bias (like a focus on political, military and economic events) to derive from HIS-story but I have yet to read much (not all, but much) of HER-story that makes for more than interesting asides to HIS-story. And frankly, the only reason one can even play this word game is a peculiarity of the English language :p
But, since you asked, my historically informed statement was significant because it speaks to the fact that sometimes people do not get along. Those laws we all live by didn't just come from some male-violent intent, they were responses to all the bad things that people sometimes are prone to doing. People disagree about a lot of things. Whether that disagreement is over who rules, or where the property line is, or who is an acceptable date, the fact is people will disagree and they will draw on any differences that seem more-or-less viable to differentiate themselves from the person(s) they are in disagreement with.
What does that have to do with dating black women? MsRiddle, I'm sure you've read some of the amusing thoughts about dating black women presented in this thread. Surely you understand that the persons making these pronoucements are stereotyping. I hope you also see that whether or not they admit it, they aren't lost souls for doing it. They just have their own experience and their socialization to draw on and that is all they are actually reflecting. Realizing that they are probably not doing this only with respect to dating black women ought to give everyone a reason to not get so worked up about it. Besides, unlike you, I don't think the world would be a better place if everyone just got along. If everybody got along, the world would be so boring and this thread would never have been started.
I guess you couldn't resist the temptation to respond, how naughty
Well, toss me an apple and I'll eat it :D | |
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| Dates for the Black Woman
Posted: 8/25/2006 12:07:12 AM | Dosen't matter if Jamaica is nowhere near the UK. There is an island off the coast of Maryland where they still speak Elizabethan English!
At any rate, yes, my statement may have been out of ignorance, but all the Jamaicans I have met sure sounded like they had a British accent. I guess it was a Jamaican accent. | |
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| Dates for the Black Woman
Posted: 8/25/2006 10:39:07 AM | A Thought
You know the greatest thing about this thread once we were able to sort through some of the flaming?
It proves one very important thing
We ALL makes choices as to who we will date and wont date in our quest for happiness based on a variety of personal criteria.
Whether or not we agree with ones choices in this aspect shouldnt matter because we cannot live their life for them.
Differences are things to celebrate, not get angry over.
Some like it hot, while some dont
Have fun all and Good Luck in your quest. | |
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XR7sc
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Joined: 8/20/2006
Msg: 97 | |
| Have any of you guys dated black women and if not why?
Posted: 8/25/2006 5:24:26 PM | | This is for Gerry....I grew up in small town Ontario, and your right, its not as redily accepted there...and the only reason is because of misinformation and plain ignorance. I am PROUD that I got away from that and have not become the Country Hick you are proud of being...nothing personal, I just belive the world would be a better place if we could eliminate prejiduce{ even if i cant spell it} | |
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| Have any of you guys dated black women and if not why?
Posted: 8/28/2006 8:52:08 PM | Have any of you guys dated black women and if not why?
Posted: 8/21/2006 5:05:37 PM
I live in a nice area in Toronto, so obviously I don't run into very many black women. Not being racist, its just a fact
Well this is one of the most ridiculous statements I have read in a LONG time.
Sweetie...there are MANY Black women who live in nice areas of Toronto and who have a LOT more going for them in terms of education and career accomplishments than you do.
Just read this statement from your profile:
If you're into freaky/kinky sex.. I will consider marriage though. ;)
It speaks VOLUMES about you and what it is saying isn't positive. | |
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weena
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Joined: 7/21/2006
Msg: 99 | |
| Have any of you guys dated black women and if not why?
Posted: 8/29/2006 12:11:07 PM | I live in a nice area in Toronto, so obviously I don't run into very many black women. Not being racist, its just a fact
wow - that is one of the most inane statements I've seen in a while! Black people don't live in nice areas of Toronto? And what turnip truck did you fall off of? I'll tell my black friends who are quite affluent and live in nice parts, they'll have a good laugh out of that one! | |
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