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| possible autism
Posted: 2/14/2007 3:47:41 PM | | Latest News: to my son with autism,so sweet and unique. i pray some day you will speak. i watch you grow and smile at me trying to figure out ,how life would be. you have autism,which you struggle with every day but mommy is trying and will continue to pray. you look so happy with smiles on your face. if i could take away the confusion ,i would take your place. i love you son more than i can say. your love is so so real in every way. your progress is slow,and sometimes very hard to understand. but no matter what i will hold your hand. i reach for the stars every second i breath in a day. my dear boy,i am so proud of you in every way. you look at everything so pure and real. i wish i could undertand how you feel. please talk to me sweetie,just let me know. it will happen even if its slow. god bless my angel ,be with him today. as i will continue to pray... melissa | |
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| possible autism update
Posted: 2/15/2007 4:01:34 AM | i deleted my account due to meeting my partner..but as i missed the forums lol im now back under this name, so apologies if anyones confused as to my name change!
right an update on max;
hmm well we went through a 'quiet period' where i actually thought max had just been an awkward baby/toddler and was now growing out of it-how wrong can a person be! max is at a morning nursery and still being assessed. his behavior is far worse and he demands off me from the second he's awake. he doesnt like nor interact with children his own age (he's 3 in may) and will never come up to anyone and ask for something, at nursery he is either led around by the older kids or he plays alone quietly. he has to have his drinks made a particular way or he screams, is still obsessed over food and although his speech has improved, he will mainly speak when asked something or told to say something. ive never heard max attempt to ask a question. he will line his cars up and god forbid if anyone should break his line.
the assessors can see max isnt developing mentally/socially like other children his age but are having problems pin pointing exactly what his problem is.
the upside is that max is finally out of daytime nappies! | |
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| possible autism update
Posted: 2/15/2007 12:06:56 PM | A point that hasn't been made here, probably because of the negative association that could be made of it. This is not an accusation, rather a serious question to help you seek out other avenues of approach.
I do find that there is a bad tendency to label someone in today's society, and then excuse all their behavior as a result of it. There are diagnoses to describe everything from repetitive behavior to rebelliousness and lack of respect for authority. Once you apply the label, however, it's almost as though people give up trying to modify that behavior.
During the Salem witch trials, in America, the whole episode centered around a group of adolescent females, whose behavior was completely irrational and unacceptable in that society. They would go into fits, convulsions, begin speaking gibberish and acting out inexplicably. Because of this, there was an inquiry to find out the source of these problems, and their behavior was exhibited in court. In the initial hearing, their group was reduced in number by one, because their parents removed that child from the proceedings and administered a sound thrashing (the inexplicable behavior ceased, just as inexplicably). The court began accusing people of witchcraft, the evidence being the other girls behavior. As the trials progressed, the fits became more fantastic, and began occurring with alarming randomness. Eventually the trials wound down, but not without damage to the community.
As a result of the attention being given to this outlandish behavior in the children, it got worse, and took on a new dimension. The children's behavior, though likely voluntary in order to gain attention, control, revenge or some other result, became involuntary. It was so habitual that they could no longer control it.
Now, I'm not suggesting by any means that Autism isn't real behavior, and a serious issue. What I do suggest is the possibility that by catering to this behavior, you are essentially giving the toddler 'his way' and you could be compounding the problem as well.
With the difficulty in diagnosis, you may wish to analyze your part in this and see if his behavior (the screaming, crying and demands to have his way) aren't in part a result of the normal behavior-reward cycle being broken (by you rewarding his bad behavior with the result he desires). You may unconsciously have been "trained" and now are part of the problem.
I grew up with many issues that were originally categorized (in my youth) as 'mental retardation' and today are consistent with Asperger syndrome. However, my parent's refusal to allow me to be labeled, and the fact that my behavior was not accepted merely because the doctor says I have 'disorder-x' helped me grow up to be a normally developed adult. I still grew up with some issues, such as having to learn the language of emotional interaction instead of just 'getting it', but it turned out that I wasn't 'retarded' rather 'gifted' and I just had to learn how to adjust to my differences in perception.
I recommend two books that might help you decide if your behavior is a contributing factor here -
"Who's Raising Whom? - A Parent's Guide to Effective Child Discipline" by Dr. Larry Waldman
- he's a behavioral psychologist that helps lay out the relationship between behavior and consequences and how you use your behavior to modify theirs - a bit wordy, but well worth the effort
and
"Purrfect Parenting" by Beverly Guhl and Don Fontenelle
- an illustrated humorous look at behavior and how your child can succesfully train you to do what they want. - I really like this one for everyone, cause it's an easy read (yeah, it's illustrated like a comic book) but it breaks down some really complex concepts about behavior into something that anyone can understand.
Again, don't take my suggestions to mean that your child isn't having neurological problems that are driving this behavior, rather it's my suggestion to see if you can modify your behavior with your kid to help reduce the amount of problem you're having. With the difficulty that they're having diagnosing it, I would say that there's probably multiple things contributing to this that make it hard for them to pin down. Kinda like having allergies and food poisoning at the same time, the symptoms don't fit any single problem and you could wind up with some wild diagnosis that has nothing to do with the real problems! | |
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| possible autism update
Posted: 2/15/2007 4:28:31 PM | Like many here, I too have a son who falls under the Autism umbrella, Aspbergers it is. Diagnosed at three, and many years of hell later, we are at the point where my 13 year old can function in society. Many do not even realize it.
One of the biggest things that worked for my son was the definite reward and consequence for behaviors. Due to aggressive behaviors when he was young, he did spend time at a facility to help him learn (and us too) how to deal and work with the behaviors he has. We still do it to this day, another trick that has helped immensely was the day was spelled out completely on a spreadsheet where he could read it and check off each item he needed to accomplish on a daily basis, to include showering, brushing teeth etc. He also haa on that sheet, short term rewards for completing tasks on time (earning game time, etc)and properly as well as long term goals. He was able then to see his progress and if he did not make "day" he knows he has to accept responsibility for those choices he made.
Another large factor was our school, he was in recognized he needed more than they could give and aided us in getting him the appropriate help/schooling he needed. He is in a wonderful school now that focus's on behavioral disorders and he is finally catching up academically with his peers and made honor roll for the second quarter in a row!
If school aged children here, and diagnoses, make sure you get them their IEP's etc in order to implement education for their needs.
If anyone has any questions or suggestions, feel free to email | |
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| possible autism
Posted: 5/11/2008 7:09:32 PM | | First of all, don't let a "label" take over and consume your child. I have a 5 yr. old son, he is just now starting to "catch up" and I am so proud of him !!! There was question of him being autistic at the age of two. He had delays in speech (he hardly spoke a word since the age of 3 1/2), he lacked social skills (I had no family, friends or neighbors with small kids) and it was extremely hard for him to express himself and tell me what he wanted. I took him to a neurologist and they werent really giving me any strait ansewers about his diagnosis, they said he showed 2 signs out of 10 for autisum and they classafied him with P.D.D ( Pervasive Develamental Disorder). That was about a year and a half ago. I was extremely depressed for my little boy, I wasent sure how he would turn out in life. I just wanted him to be healthy and have the same chances any other kid would have around him. Anyway, I stopped putting a label on my son. I stopped thinking something was wrong, stopped thinking he could not do or understand what others could. I would say he has a learning disability if anything. I have worked so hard to help him, got him into early intervention, took him to speech thearopy, worked hard with the school system in getting him an IEP that would suite his needs) I am constantly doing new things with him, I treat him no different than any other kid his age. He has not only made huge progress since his diagnosis, but im starting to think he has come above and beyond his peers. I am so proud of him !!! He is a happy little boy, and thats all that matters. Im not trying to tell you to ignore the fact that your son might be diagnosed with autisum........im simply saying work with him (above and beyond) and never give up !!! My son is still not potty trained, we still have a long way to go. Everyday is a challenge and believe me......its hard (especially when your doing it alone) Hang in there, god would never give us a challenge we can't handle. I wish you and your little boy the best xoxoxo | |
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