| | FWB versus relationship. What's the difference?Page 9 of 11 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11) | Hmmm, yeah, Mike, ya might be onto somethang. Life is a series of travails. Sometimes, we need a Friend. Why? Because? Well, life is complicated. But Friendship is true. And if it comes with sex, it's still friendship.
The complexities of life do not alway end in raw fidelity. For various reasons, reasons being as varied as everyone's experience.
Friends --- isolate that ... with Benefits ... isolate that
First, Friendship should be appreciated for what it is --- an understanding, a commonality.
From Friendship springs other needs. If either party of a friendship is hooked, for example, with another partner who is hooked to infedility ... how is a friend to respond to the need of his/her friend?
It stacks up that way, sometimes.
I reckon what I'm saying is, a friend will respond to circumstances. If a "friend" is a "friend" of someone who has a great loving relationship, then that "friend" will rejoice and not do anything to interfere with that. However, if a "friend" realizes that his/her "friend" is engaged in a seriously problematic situation, then he/she will reach out with offering whatever his/her "friend's" needs are.
Opus coronat finis.
The emphaisis should be on "friends" --- "with benefits" depends on circumstances.
Just sayin' | |
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| FWB versus relationship. What's the difference?
Posted: 9/24/2011 10:46:41 PM | Friends with benefits is: having sex with someone that "You Know" you don't have a passion with or don't have the belief she or he might be the one. It is a casual thing that you aren't thinking is the real thing.
People know the real thing. Of course you want to have a friendship with someone you love or care about, but that term "friends" is quite different than the one with benefits.
If you can't stop thinking about someone, long to be with them, they make your heart beat fast, and have great passion for "it isn't a romantic partner". And anything less is just casual sex without a serious emotional attachment with. And an easy way out if you come across 'THAT ONE" that will rock your world.
I don't like the friends word when it comes to relationships. I tell people I don't have sex with guy friends. | |
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| FWB versus relationship. What's the difference?
Posted: 9/24/2011 10:53:38 PM |
Friends with benefits is: having sex with someone that "You Know" you don't have a passion with or don't have the belief she or he might be the one. It is a casual thing that you aren't thinking is the real thing.
People know the real thing. Of course you want to have a friendship with someone you love or care about, but that term "friends" is quite different than the one with benefits.
If you can't stop thinking about someone, long to be with them, they make your heart beat fast, and have great passion for "it isn't a romantic partner". And anything less is just casual sex without a serious emotional attachment with. And an easy way out if you come across 'THAT ONE" that will rock your world.
I don't like the friends word when it comes to relationships. I tell people I don't have sex with guy friends.
I don't quite see the difference. Course now, I never have sex wit a woman that I don't have "feelings" for. By "feelings" I mean an affinity with who they are, and what they stand for. And that might well include "friends."
Anything beyond that is "lust." And ya might just as well do with a "doll" than a human being.
Just sayin'
Final point: "FRIENDSHIP" stands for something. And that extends beyond lust. Hells Bells, I got me some MALE friends, no sex involved, me being a heterosexual, but we's FRIENDS because we have a common understanding to things that matter. From there, and if the friend happens to be female ...well. ...... hmmm ... well .... | |
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| FWB versus relationship. What's the difference?
Posted: 8/26/2012 8:18:16 AM | | Yes this is à relationship just à none commital one. With Meaningless sex. You would have to have some sort of attraction to the other person to have sex with à friend. It also means Ya we can hookup until something better comes along. How degrading is That? I could never put à empale friend of mine through much à disrespectful situation. | |
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| FWB versus relationship. What's the difference?
Posted: 8/26/2012 9:53:42 AM | Is there a difference between friends with benefits and having a relationship?
A romantic relationship relationship? Yes, there is a difference. What is that difference? No romance and no real implications of there being romance, really. :)
Basically you have developed a platonic relationship with this person then at some point you may add the benefits of having sex with this person. How is this different from a romantic relationship?
Yeah, doesn't seem that different, does it? I see profiles with headlines of "Looking for Best Friend & Lover". Oh, friends with benefits? Oh no, wait, she's 45, a strong Christian, actively looking for a relationship & Long-Term. Yes, there is understandable confusion...
Is FWB just a way of saying we can hang out and have sex until someone better comes along that I want to have a relationship with?
If you declare yourselves as FWB from the get-go, yes. But sometimes FWB happens naturally without calling it that. One or both parties don't want to "jump" into a relationship or get serious at all. They want to hang out, know each other, have fun, etc, and yes, they're more than friends, and much of the time sexual relations will be had before they'd even talk about being an item or couple, as it was known very recently that one/both didn't want to become an item, etc. They don't call themselves a couple, but geez, after 2 months of hanging out here and there -- what are they? They're not merely friends, that's for sure. They're FWB. When not declared, there is that possibility lingering for it growing into something else. If it's declared early just FWB, fat chance it will grow into something else.
Basically, a friend w/ benefits is a friend who's more than a friend. A girlfriend/boyfriend is a friend w/ benefits who's more than just a friend w/ (mere) benefits.
FWB isn't a booty call. Unlike a booty call, it's being friends -- actual friendship, but it's essentially on the same level of someone you're "kinda seeing, but we're not Dating - we're single". And what people mean when they declare they just want to be FWB -- they are calling off the opportunity to be a couple. So yes, it is "until something better comes along" or "until I'm ready to truly be dating" if declared off the bat.
Some people though will really mean booty call, which is not being your friend but a mere house call here and there... but just befriend you at first to get their foot in the door. | |
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| FWB versus relationship. What's the difference?
Posted: 8/26/2012 10:40:57 AM | | lol, you r correct....instead of finding it at the bar, you found it elsewhere....oh is that different !! FWB....where does being friends come in.....everyone gets benefits with or without a "elationship"....wether its family or not.....just another excuse for the lack of intimacy....I almost guaranttee it was started by a femenist ...just like the word Independant woman.....never heard in an dependant guy...LOL | |
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| FWB versus relationship. What's the difference?
Posted: 8/26/2012 6:40:55 PM | well; i personally would prefer relationship; as it seems most people are dtf or want fwb
i actually want a good man to get to know, he will be my best friend.lover and my man that in which i
do not want to share with . i wanna grow old with ,have family, and maybe get married. who knows? i just wanna be happy:) | |
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| FWB versus relationship. What's the difference?
Posted: 8/26/2012 6:59:15 PM |
Yes this is à relationship just à none commital one. With Meaningless sex. You would have to have some sort of attraction to the other person to have sex with à friend. It also means Ya we can hookup until something better comes along. How degrading is That? I could never put à empale friend of mine through much à disrespectful situation.
I'm not buying this is true for a second. Dood, you'd take benefit with any friendly woman who invited you. | |
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| FWB versus relationship. What's the difference?
Posted: 8/26/2012 7:01:14 PM |
FWB is a way to have your cake and eat your ice cream too! Generally one of the partners are in denial and deceptively hurting or sacrificing
Why can't two people simply enjoy the act for the sake of enjoying it? Sex is simple. It's a physical act. It's only complicated when you introduce emotions into the party. | |
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| FWB versus relationship. What's the difference?
Posted: 8/27/2012 12:42:22 AM | I actually prefer FWB and I'm a woman,lol.
It means nothing to me. I don't want a serious relationship and prefer to be able to move on when I am done. Or he meets someone he wants to be in a relationship with. No problems here.
BUT I have a hard time finding a man who understands what FWB actually means! Some of the guys act like you'd expect the woman to act by getting attached and/or wanting more.
Sigh. | |
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| FWB versus relationship. What's the difference?
Posted: 8/27/2012 1:27:14 AM | A FWB is a FRIEND you happen to have sex with. Usually until a "loving partner relationship" possibility comes along and someone breaks it off and you go back to just friends.
FWB's are often temporary but not necessarily so, where as a loving relationship is often looked at for the long haul and no one is supposedly looking for anyone else more suitable.
Both have their merits.
denisescorpio: people will project their thoughts on what they think you want no matter what you say. Others will take you for your word.
I've had both types of relationships and both times I got exactly what I wanted, no matter what people claimed I wanted I did not have a hidden agenda with my FWB either.
Fck them (not) if they don't believe you.
Some just can't wrap their head around the idea that some people can be satisfied with just being FWB's. | |
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| FWB versus relationship. What's the difference?
Posted: 8/27/2012 1:56:35 AM | Denise,
Just because testosterone protects a man from the effects of oxytocin most of the time, there are still times when he is vulnerable and will bond with you. I think that's why the old dating rituals told girls to hold out until marriage (or until the guy broke down, really), because then he'd be vulnerable and she could have some assurance that he'd bond with her and not just "score" and move on.
Unfortunately, it's when I guy is in "friend" mode that he's most available to bond with you. When he's on the prowl, he's androgenized and the action of oxytocin is blocked. If you want to enjoy a FWB with a man, make sure that he's revved up at least the first time. Otherwise, he is quite likely to go clingy on you. | |
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| FWB versus relationship. What's the difference?
Posted: 8/27/2012 3:00:02 AM | Here are what _my_ definitions of the various relationship types are, and support the definition with the level of emotional involvement characteristic in each one. At least the differences are clear among them. FWB and relationship seem to be relative terms as, they seem to depend somewhat on individual opinion thus, all these definitions are intrinsically personal.
FB - (Fvck Buddies)
a Fvck Buddy is someone we just met or someone we are, at best, acquainted with. a FB "relationship" is one where two people use each other's bodies solely for sexual gratification. There is little to no emotional involvement. There is no commitment of exclusivity or longevity in this type of relationship, it may end as soon as the F is done. FB are rarely invited to family events (if ever.) Additionally, if any of the participants have kids, it is very rare for the kids to ever meet the FB. They usually end amicably.
FWB - (Friends With Benefits)
a FWB relationship is one where the participants are _genuine_ friends. Genuine friendships are not easy to make and they do require nurturing over time. A FWB relationship is inherently monogamous/exclusive, based on trust and genuine mutual caring. Before the participants start engaging in sex, a significant amount of time is invested building a friendship, usually with no intentions of having sex in the future. This type of relationship usually ends amicably per mutual accord after an indefinite amount of time. There is no commitment from the participants to invest effort into making it "permanent" (merge lives) but, it may happen on rare occasions. One of the participants may invite his/her friend to family events such as Thanksgiving, Christmas, etc. Additionally, the friend will commonly be acquainted with the kids (if any) and, may even help them with their homework, be a math tutor, teach them how to play chess or other games and play together. They introduce each other in social circles as friends.
Good Friend/Genuine Friend.
a FWB without sex. Everything else applies.
Long Term Relationship
Very similar to the FWB above with the addition that, both individuals genuinely contemplate the possibility of eventually, fully merging their lives. Whether this happens or not, depends on the level of compatibility they eventually determine to have in the long run. Neither of them really knows if the objective will be achieved but, hopefully, they both enter into the agreement with the same genuine intentions. If genuine, it is usually monogamous. The level of emotional involvement is generally deeper than genuine friendship, the emotional bond is usually "love" or "in love". They generally introduce each other in social circles as SO, (boy/girl)friend, fiancee/fiance, etc, as mutually agreed. When these relationships end, the end is not always "amicable", and often leaves the participants with baggage, emotional, physical or both. | |
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| FWB versus relationship. What's the difference?
Posted: 8/27/2012 3:31:32 AM | Holy crap... that is exactly what each is (and I didn't think that anyone else actually got that)
Sensational post Just Lookin'.
--particularly your definition of FWB -- most folk on here don't get the fact that if the sex stops, the relationship with the extended families and each other in a (completely platonic manor) can and does continue (for a time at least). | |
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| FWB versus relationship. What's the difference?
Posted: 8/27/2012 3:38:47 AM | | So if a FWB is introduced as a friend in family gatherings or social circle, are the people in that circle aware that they are intimate with each other? Is it alright to have a PDA in that circle? Are the kids aware that they are doing what a real bf/gf does but they are not bf/gf? Or this FWB thing is hidden from them? | |
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| FWB versus relationship. What's the difference?
Posted: 8/27/2012 3:54:27 AM |
So if a FWB is introduced as a friend in family gatherings or social circle, are the people in that circle aware that they are intimate with each other? Is it alright to have a PDA in that circle? Are the kids aware that they are doing what a real bf/gf does but they are not bf/gf? Or this FWB thing is hidden from them?
Do you typically discuss your sex life at family gatherings? Share your favorite positions with your children? | |
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| FWB versus relationship. What's the difference?
Posted: 8/27/2012 5:00:22 AM |
So if a FWB is introduced as a friend in family gatherings or social circle, are the people in that circle aware that they are intimate with each other? Is it alright to have a PDA in that circle? Are the kids aware that they are doing what a real bf/gf does but they are not bf/gf? Or this FWB thing is hidden from them?
Do you typically discuss your sex life at family gatherings?
Hell yeah. I learned some of the best cunnilingus tips ever from my Aunt Gertrude at Thanksgiving dinner one year. | |
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| FWB versus relationship. What's the difference?
Posted: 8/27/2012 5:15:24 AM |
My definition of a friend is someone you enjoy spending time with, talking to, hanging out with, someone you can call when you need help or advice, etc. Basically you have developed a platonic relationship with this person then at some point you may add the benefits of having sex with this person.
That is what MY definition of a FWB. But to some it's just get together for sex.
How is this different from a romantic relationship?
IMO, when you have the so called romantic relationship, it's the road the leads to marriage. | |
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| FWB versus relationship. What's the difference?
Posted: 8/27/2012 5:24:03 AM | So if a FWB is introduced as a friend in family gatherings or social circle
YES
are the people in that circle aware that they are intimate with each other?
That's really nobody business
Is it alright to have a PDA in that circle?
Sure
Are the kids aware that they are doing what a real bf/gf does but they are not bf/gf?
I wouldn't talk about it to my daughter. Why kids need to be informed about your sex life?????
Interesting family gatherings you must have.lol
I actually prefer FWB and I'm a woman,lol.
Hey now..LOL..Two thumbs up!!
Read your profile, wish we would be more of a fit.
Oh well...
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| FWB versus relationship. What's the difference?
Posted: 8/27/2012 5:35:27 AM | @3ffervescent
Thank you for the compliment. :-) ...
see when you least expect it, a man will surprise you ;-)
I-am-Rei
Or this FWB thing is hidden from them?
Letting the "cat out of the bag" isn't usually done in FWB type of relationships. Therefore neither the kids nor most anyone else knows about it (though some will suspect it.) The "secrecy" usually stems from wanting to avoid social judgement. The few times the cat is let out of the bag is if the FWB transitions to a long term type of relationship.
ThePigOfYourDreams
Hell yeah. I learned some of the best cunnilingus tips ever from my Aunt Gertrude at Thanksgiving dinner one year.
LOL... my Aunt isn't nearly as cool as your Aunt. She never talked turkey with me. :-)
@Janet_Always
I would consider that more of a FB type of "relationship". The main reason for FWBs is the presence of exclusivity/monogamy and an emotional bond. Friends don't see each other as "disposable". The end of the relationship usually takes place shortly before one or the other starts dating. The mutual trust is the greatest incentive to have a FWB type of relationship.
A real/genuine friendship is not a casual thing. It is something that is valued and cared for, not disposed of at any old time in any old way, otherwise it is simply sex between "acquaintances" i.e, FB.
Again, that's just the way I see it.
vvvvvvv | |
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| FWB versus relationship. What's the difference?
Posted: 8/27/2012 5:38:24 AM | | I would see a FWB as not being exclusive or having a need to "break up" if someone better comes along... you just stop calling, or tell them you're seeing someone else. | |
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