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| Arranging a date and still active on POF...is this a problem?
Posted: 7/30/2006 7:54:44 PM | | In my humble opinion to keep searching on POF after start relationship is insult to your date partner. It is just not fair keeping searching. It is only one reason for it; there is always better and nicer out there, why not take the opportunity? I would never ask her to cancel membership to POF. When she keep searching that gives me a message: "You are not good enough for me". | |
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LMAO
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Joined: 2/20/2006
Msg: 30 | |
| Arranging a date and still active on POF...is this a problem?
Posted: 7/31/2006 5:17:34 AM | Well myself,,,,such as Leeanne as well, I enjoy the forums, and the events
once past the 4th date usually, or even before hand, IF I feel a great connection , I will hide my profile and will tell them, and even remove my pics as well, but until I know for sure, that it is totally exclusive and it will lead to more, I wil be on here for the forums.
They know I do not multi date but one date,,,is nothing,, still.
It takes more than one date to be even thinking of asking anyone, unless been discussed etc.
One thing I know is I feel a connection with someone I would never go out with anyone else anyway and I have NO problem telling anyone that contacts me this as well.
Some men will continue to mail and talk which is fine as they know ahead of time that I am interested in someone else,,,and those are the men that are capable of being a friend, which hey one never knows later what could happen.
the ones whom can not respect that,,,to bad,,is obvious they are not worth the effort of typing
Funny I remember someone I dated begged me to remove my profile,,so I did ,,no probs, but if I do ,,they shoudl to,,and he stil continued,,,,RED FLAG,,how did I know??
Women are connected in many ways!!! | |
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| Arranging a date and still active on POF...is this a problem?
Posted: 8/25/2006 6:17:49 AM | WOW gr8 ... I'm flattered ... when & where 
As to northern's thread ....
No .. if your just planning on meeting someone for the first time, you shouldn't have to remove your profile. If you meet and start dating and it's mutual, then fine, but other than that, leave it up  | |
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| Arranging a date and still active on POF...is this a problem?
Posted: 8/25/2006 6:21:11 AM |
When she keep searching that gives me a message: "You are not good enough for me"
Or, I need someone to fill the void while I play.... this is a dating site. Going to POF events is the same as dating... the only difference is, you don't have a specific date.
In my opinion, you only get out of a relationship what you put in... hanging out (regularly and daily - virtually)) with hundreds of single people is not contributing to the integrity of a relationship... don't get angry when you're dumped. | |
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| Arranging a date and still active on POF...is this a problem?
Posted: 10/12/2006 8:19:27 AM | Well... here's my 2 cents...
I think that pof is a great site to meet friends as well.. I chat on here and wouldnt expect someone I just met or had a few dates with to delete their profile, nor would i delete mine because of a maybe... that would be like canceling your phone service because you have no one you want to call ... lol I know a bit far fetched ... but u get the point... Now.. after a while if things continue to click... obviously we are in an internet dating site... two people who met on an internet site ...should be expecting a convo at some point as to what to do about profiles..it's a given... i think that the key is openess and honesty... I have made some great friends on here... and wouldnt want to lose that.. but if asked I would certainly take mine down... besides... when you are no longer single ... it craps the surfing time anyway lol... there are better things to do at 10pm lol... 
cheers all... feel free ta comment.... | |
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| Arranging a date and still active on POF...is this a problem?
Posted: 10/12/2006 8:29:16 AM | | I dont think anyone has a right to expect exclusivity before even meeting face to face, let alone not wanting you to browse the sights, for all she knows you could of been just reading the forums. What would give her the idea that you were contacting women left right and centre and even if you were it really is none of her business............yikes I will stop before i rant................. | |
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| Arranging a date and still active on POF...is this a problem?
Posted: 11/17/2007 6:10:52 AM | | If she checked up on you to see when you were last active and saw that you were on after you had agreed to meet then SHE HAS TRUST ISSUES! and if there are trust issues before you even meet in person then she must be assuming there is more to the meeting then you. My thought on this subject is that until the first meet and there is something there that you should not add the person to your favorites because this is a way for the other to check up on you kinda a stalking mentality. If she checked up them she was insecure and again has trust issues...................... Big Red Flags and consider how you first meet would have been like.............. "So I saw you were on POF last night make any other dates?" She saved you some squiriming and one unconfortable date. | |
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| Arranging a date and still active on POF...is this a problem?
Posted: 11/19/2007 12:17:45 PM | I agree pretty much with everyone else. I've been dating Jordan for over a week(dated him before, but had to break it off.. long story, he did nothing wrong & neither did I) & I still go on here. He knows I'm just reading the forums, or chatting with friends. I'm very trusting & have strict morals. So he doesn't care that I'm on here, or that I hang out with my guy friends, or even crash at one of my guy friends places, cause he knows I wont touch them, & they wont touch me..
Its this kind of trust that builds a great relationship :) | |
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| Arranging a date and still active on POF...is this a problem?
Posted: 12/1/2007 1:04:17 PM | | My opinion to this when two people get started in a relationship, both should get out of pof. Or .. be posting not looking have found my prince..and princess .I know who I am ... I would hope my prince would say the same ..it's got to do with trust... | |
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| Arranging a date and still active on POF...is this a problem?
Posted: 12/1/2007 2:44:14 PM |
He knows I'm just reading the forums, or chatting with friends.
Which I assume means that you've talked about it. Pretty much the most important thing. If you don't let each other know what your expectations are, how are they supposed to find out? There's nothing wrong with sticking around here and looking, nor is there anything wrong with buttoning up your profile immediately. The key is to talk about it and come to a mutually satisfactory decision.
Or move on.  | |
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| Arranging a date and still active on POF...is this a problem?
Posted: 12/1/2007 5:27:15 PM | I believe this is a problem! I met a guy off of here and we started dating. We dated for almost 5 months but he seemed to keep coming on line chatting and all. He kept his profile hidden for the most part. He really got upset when he found I never deleted my profile but I never came on site like he did. I believe that if you meet someone off of here and want to pursue something more that both profiles should come off of here and later if it doesn't work between the two of you then you can come back and continue to look!
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| Arranging a date and still active on POF...is this a problem?
Posted: 12/17/2007 7:56:13 PM | I agree, but sometimes people dont feel the necessity in doing so if they have JUST met someone.. they wuld rather if they are feeling they are getting somewhere with a person. I put myself on unavailble right away if I think i've found someone that has potential!  | |
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| Arranging a date and still active on POF...is this a problem?
Posted: 12/17/2007 8:23:12 PM | Well POF seems to be more about social circles than it is about dating and relationships but I am still a newbie. I would have no problem with somebody having a social profile on here and mantaining that kind of relationship with new people. Not dating tho. That crosses the line and is totally unacceptable. Seeking out profiles of the opposite sex would create issues with trust. Meeting other people together at a social gathering would be fine.
Another dating site ruined what I thought was a perfect relationship. I was in a relationship with a woman for 7 months and it ended suddenly after I found out she kept up her profile and checked it on a regular basis. I deleted mine after about the 4th date. She vanished after I discovered what she was doing without any explanation to me. Here is a reply I sent to some one here on POF explaining what I just went through since she asked.
It was lavalife where we met. I have no idea what had happened. Never been mislead so bad in my entire life. I don't think she was fooling around. Didn't have time. Maybe she needed some sort of attention from men, I'm just guessing as I mentioned she gave me no explanation and just disappeared. Seemed we had a perfect relationship before that happened. All the things that should have been there were, we got along great. She was a very attractive MD with a specialty in sports medicine. Intelligent, very socialable and a lot of fun to be around. I was hit with a constant barrage of complements right up to the day before she disappeared. Things like I have perfect bone structure, would make a great father, extremely intelligent, perfect genetics, my feramones and testosterone levels are incredible, I was different than any other man she has ever met and loved me because of it, never had so much fun with any other man in her entire life and the list goes on, a huge list. I complemented her often as well but I meant what I said. We had a lot of very romantic moments together. It seemed she noticed and appreciated them. Only relationship I have ever been in that I didn't see any warning signs of problems. Seemed we saw eye to eye on everything. Never any kind of disagreement. I've learned things from other relationships and did a lot to educate myself in the last year on topics surrounding interpersonal relationships so I would never make the same mistakes I have made in the past. I came out of this one without learning anything. I'll just have to chalk it up to some people are very manipulative and good at hiding it. Why she did I will never know. It all seemed so real and genuine right throughout. I can't imagine anything so bad happening again. Most people are not that cruel. It crushed my heart for a while but I'm over it and think it's unlikely anything like that would ever happen again. I accept it now for what it is. It is strange and would hardly believe it except I went through it. | |
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| Arranging a date and still active on POF...is this a problem?
Posted: 10/16/2008 4:38:44 PM | | If you meet someone and start dating it's time to leave POF no more searching. If it doesn't work out then you can put your profile back on. I would be insulted if I found out that someone was still searching while seeing me. | |
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| Arranging a date and still active on POF...is this a problem?
Posted: 10/16/2008 9:25:33 PM | I think it depends on how often or how long you have been dating the person. If you went out on 1 date or, in your case, didn't even go out on the date yet then why take your profile off? That's insane. It's like saying, if in the real world, you meet someone at a grocery store or bar, you decide to go on a date, do you stop going to bars or grocery stores? Pullease.
If there is an exclusivity agreed upon by both people then yes, take the profile off or set it to inactive. However, if I met someone who, even before I went on a date with her, was upset that my profile was still online, I would break it off because that would throw up a HUGE red flag for me. She is insecure and is moving too freaking fast even before meeting. | |
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| Arranging a date and still active on POF...is this a problem?
Posted: 10/17/2008 7:24:21 AM | Until there is a mutual agreement of exclusivity, either after one date or 50 dates ..... there shouldn't be any expectations of becoming inactive on the site.
I've had first meets with people that I got along great online, with great 'chemistry', but once we met ... the conversation was still stellar, but the butterflies were strangely missing.
Maybe that lady was an axe murderer.... Be thankful you got out :D | |
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| Arranging a date and still active on POF...is this a problem?
Posted: 10/17/2008 9:04:08 AM | Here's a testimonial I just read. The profile was of a married woman and the testimonial was from her husband (southerners, obviously).
allright guys...yall have gotta back off...we are happily married and she is all mine!!...i dont share...be friends all you want but dont be flirtin...this is all mine boys!... too bad yall missed the train or just creeped her out too much...yall freaky ones know who yall are...just keep it casual boys, im a little jelous over her and dont wanna make no enemies...i love you my baby!!! love, Dusty
How constructive is that for a relationship?
*sigh* | |
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| Arranging a date and still active on POF...is this a problem?
Posted: 10/17/2008 11:38:41 AM | Ok well in the actual case where you didnt meet yet ya big bells ringing... i luckly dont have that problem cuz I'm not looking for a prince.. just a few people to have fun with... but i just came out of a 12yr relationship... I think the best thing is to be honest in what you're looking for.... if you're looking for a casual hook up say so ... if you're upfront feelings dont get hurt... are you sure she cancelled completely or perhaps something did just came up??? she might have just be teasing you about your active profile, I know I would ... but i would be obvious with LOL all over...
Just be honest and everything should be fine if its not then prob not someone worth your time.  | |
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