| Does this happen to you?
Posted: 7/29/2006 12:21:37 PM | OP
yes happened to me too...
but just cuz they want something
doesnt mean they are gonna get it.
Lets face it... the internet is the only place
ugly social retards have a chance to even speak
to the opposite sex and have a DATE.
In real life they wouldnt stand a chance.
Lots of them take advantage of the internet
for that very reason too... so they can hide... hide
how they look, how they act, how they live, what
their intentions are... if they have a way to support themselves.. etc etc.
You can find some good, real and decent people online
who take things in a normal way and not the ways of the virtual world...
but
they are rare. You can always keep your profile up... in case someone
who is not typical
of the cyber world shows up, but I would not rely 100% on online dating sites
if you actually want to meet someone. Its only an option in case
someone comes around who you are really interested in...
still
you wont know that until you meet and take
time to get to know them. As you know, you cant
go by a profile or anything they may say...
as it could all be BS... as many are | |
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| Does this happen to you?
Posted: 7/29/2006 7:46:45 PM | Thanks for all the advice. It's good to know that this happens to others and that it's just not me throwing out the "I have sex on the first date vibe" (even though I don't) Yes, guys will be guys and probably all will secretly hope for sex on the first date but hoping and expecting are two different things.
Someone mentioned earlier that he was probably attractive which he was. He was a body builder or something. I think that in my experience "really hot" guys are used to women who throw themselves at them on the first date and then cry because he doesn't call back. I just am not willing to throw myself at someone no matter who he is. Personally I like to think of myself as worthy not a one night stand. Next time I will be careful to consider all aspects not just physicality.
Rainbowfish: what you said made alot of sense. I think you are right that online attracts a larger pool of idiots. Those that can get away with things they normally aren't allowed to in normal everyday life join the internet circus! However just like you said there are good people on here so I should keep my options open.
Thanks for listening to me rant and rave on this subject. | |
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| Does this happen to you?
Posted: 8/8/2006 9:39:22 PM | | Well theres not that many MEN out there that dont want SEX on the first DATE.And i think that they are jerks,And that saying it nicely.If they cant have a nice date and a kiss good night and leave it at that.Then HOUSTON we do have a problem | |
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| Does this happen to you?
Posted: 8/9/2006 1:17:19 AM | You were right - as soon as he said " are you going to wear something sexy for me tonight" was all the warning you needed. You should have backed out right there and then. You can be firm without having to be a hardnose ------ about it [ NOT saying you arem but some guys will try to make it out that way and if thats the case you are way better off without them and its THEIR problem]
Is this the only time? Simple fact is this is going to happen again - guys ARE gonna try it on. But dont let it influence you all guys are the same. They are not. So many nice ones out there - its just a numbers game unfortunately. So stick it out. Soemthing good doesnt always happen instantly. It can take time. You obviously want a guy who is willing to take the time to get to know you before the hot stuff, so just be savvy to the signals they give you or the give away signs like this guy and be prepared to walk the walk - away from them. Sooner or later you will meet a decent guy who can leave the word 'sex' out of a conversation for at least a couple of dates : )
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| Does this happen to you?
Posted: 11/5/2006 10:35:25 AM | | maybe you should take some of promiscuous pictures off your profile, you are sending out the wrong message to men. Seriously, that s all they see you for...first impression. Not trying to be mean, but give it a try, and reword what you say about yourself... | |
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| Does this happen to you?
Posted: 11/5/2006 10:52:47 AM | Jesiebunnies:
Do you give the wrong impression by wearing your dress in your third picture?
I mean, it looks really good on you... but... it might send out conflicting signals to the meathead.
Some guys are pretty uncouth.
Some guys are questionable... as it depends on the situation.
Some guys are saints (that is a rare thing though). | |
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| Does this happen to you?
Posted: 11/6/2006 12:54:59 AM | | I was starting to feel bad for you until i checked your profile and saw the lace panties and feather boa????!!!! WTF?? and you wonder why they think that....i dont get it? show a little respect for yourself--why would you want the world seeing you like that?!! i only let my guy see me that way.......maybe im just a prude but damn girl.....give your head a shake...show them alot of skin and they will expect to see the rest, no matter what u say.... | |
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| Does this happen to you?
Posted: 11/6/2006 1:42:17 AM | | Allow me to be curt. I don't like you. Go back to the bar from which you came. | |
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| Does this happen to you?
Posted: 11/6/2006 9:41:07 AM | I would never go into a date expecting sex, if it happenes, then it was for a reason. I did not read your profile, but as someone else mentioned, your photos displayed are the problem. If you are looking to attract decent men, then put up some decent pics. A man's brain is a complex thing, and sex seems to always complicate and disrupt the complexity. I honestly believe you wouldn't run into this problem as much is you were wearing clothes in your pics, lol! The men who you are interacting with probably think in the back of their mind that you want to get laid, because of the photos, even if you're profile says you're not into that.
This is an honest post, so if you want to meet some genuine guys, show the regular ol' you, not the sexy you! Good luck! | |
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| Does this happen to you?
Posted: 11/6/2006 9:51:39 AM | Kay, you seem like a sweet and intelligent girl, but upon looking at your profile it was hard to get past the racy nature of your photos. Lets face it, men are very visual and can be pigs. Once that side of them is aroused, it seems more difficult for them to think, or be open to the other sides of who you are. If you want them to pay attention to those other aspects of you, play those parts up and let them guess a little more as to how attractive you are.
That being said, I have had similar issues... I just make sure to talk to them for a long time to get a feel for their character. | |
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| Does this happen to you?
Posted: 11/6/2006 10:37:42 AM | I wanted 2 edit my post, but couldn't. (didn't post enough 2 edit yet). I just wanted to clarify that I meant I liked what Metaphysicalman posted.
Also I'm sorry this happened to you, but it's good 2 know that all men aren't like that.
Peace & brotherly love,
Jenny. | |
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| Does this happen to you?
Posted: 11/8/2006 6:33:24 PM | | Thanks for all the comments and advise. Actually my profile states loud and clear I am not internet dating right now so it doesn't matter what photos I post. I have actually been a lot better off dating in the real world. Best of luck to all of you.-jes | |
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| Does this happen to you?
Posted: 11/8/2006 10:22:29 PM | Chatting with them "online only" for a few weeks, before talking on the phone & actually meeting them may help weed out the seekers & the real guys. Doesn't seem to take most of them very long to slip up & let you know what they really want. If they push really hard to meet you right away, that is a big clue to what they want.
I had the same problem offline as well. I have taken a permenant break from dating. | |
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| Does this happen to you?
Posted: 11/13/2006 6:39:02 AM | | I think alot of men thats all that there after is SEX on the first date.But i have to say it does give the ones that are good a BAD name.And that is not fair to them.I dont belive in that i have more respect for myself. | |
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| Does this happen to you?
Posted: 11/13/2006 1:43:02 PM | | If a guy is sincerly interested in you he won't go for sex on the first date. Take it as a sign that he is lusting you but has no respect or long term interest. | |
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| Does this happen to you?
Posted: 11/13/2006 2:05:35 PM | I think if you have any pictures on your profile that are provocative in nature whatsoever, that's what the men contacting you (well, most of them) will be focused on. They'll "assume" that because you're showing your body off, you're here for sex.
The easiest cure for that is to put just a face shot up and nothing more.
Also, you might want to try screening them out a bit better. Luckily I haven't been on any PoF dates yet (I have from other sites though) and that hasn't been an issue. Mainly because sex isn't what I am after, finding a compatible, LTR is and you can never find that with sex right off the bat.
I'm not saying YOU are putting up provocative photos, OP, I'm just saying I know how men's brains work and that's pretty much the jist of it. Just screen them out a bit better. | |
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| Does this happen to you?
Posted: 11/13/2006 2:08:04 PM | op:
"kickin' curves that will have you sprung in minutes" (quoting your profile)
yikes!
that wording does little to discourage the attention you claim to disdain. you may wish to reconsider that particular line.
i don't say this to condemn you. i mean, i show some skin in my profile as well...but, my text scares most people off. | |
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| Does this happen to you?
Posted: 11/13/2006 2:39:51 PM | I agree with Jabarian about pictures being provocative. It is difficult to know what a man finds sexy because it is different to each individual. Each have their own fetishes.
But, I can tell you right now that you profile picture is one of the most inviting with the knee high boots, long hair, cleavage, and mini skirt.
One time I wore knee high stilletto boots out to walk my dog with a short skirt, simply because I didn't have time to change clothes and shoes, and I can tell you the response from men passing by was more than obvious. It has huge sexual appeal. Think Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman...hooker!!!
I am not saying that is what you have in mind, I have knee high boots too...as I am sure many other women do too. But when worn with mini skirts and low cut tops...what do you expect? Most men find exposed skin in particular areas to be an invitation for sex. It may even be on a subconsious level.
Just think about the message you are sending out, and do not complain when the response you are getting is not the one you want.
Even after saying all this, I have to say, even without a profile picture...yes most men I talk to online or meet do still imply that they want to have sex on the first date. Or that they are looking for casual sex. Not that they get it, but most push. But there are a few out there that actually do want relationships.
Beauty has a way of turning off men's brains...but what can ya do? Just enjoy it while you still got the ability??? | |
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| Does this happen to you?
Posted: 11/13/2006 5:46:17 PM | in my opinion (i am a guy so i hope my opinon has merit) generally a man will push for sex on the first date. some just to see if she has any integrity or where she is going to draw the line. if she puts the brakes on his advances (and he never calls her again) -well you know just what he was after. however if you shut him down, and his infatuation dosen't decrease, he is still pining for your affection -you have a keeper on your line...
fyi -some women do want sex on the first date, and ask outright if/when they are going to get it. | |
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| How do you screen them out to find out if they want sex?
Posted: 11/13/2006 9:24:25 PM | I can totally understand what every one is saying. It feels like no matter if I take text out of my profile and put I AM A PSYCHO KILLER, with a bag over my head they would still expect sex. I mean how am I am going to fake my body or my beauty in real life? I am not going to wear sweat pants ,with no makeup and pony tails just to try to deter someone who can't figure out how to have self control. THere's no way around it even if I do take down all my pics and text I eventually have to be me and they see me!
My big thing that I discovered online is that men (or a lot) think that women are on here just soley for sex. It's kind of a huge mis normer as men are on here desperate for sex and most women are on here for real relationships that reach beyond sex. This is not near so an issue or if it is perhaps it is a little more discrete in real life ,in my opinion.
Further more I don't know why we as people have to ascribe to some crazy notion of "boys will be boys" like we are nothing more than mere animals with no brains just walking by some innate biological concept. Yes they will be boys and we will be girls but does that mean that because you are a boy you can't control yourself or think beyond your significant (or in some case non significant) other? I see good looking men all day long but I don't rush up to them demanding sex! | |
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| Does this happen to you?
Posted: 11/14/2006 1:00:26 AM | try changing your profile.your cloth reveal too much and you come off looking like too sexy? that minni skirt isnt big enough to use as a hanky.what is some one to think looking at those pict? | |
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