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| Do you actually meet or date the people you meet here online?
Posted: 5/21/2008 6:13:36 PM | THANKYOU SALTY TOWERS
I HAVE NEVER BEEN THIS HAPPY AND CONTENTED IN MY LIFE AS I AM RIGHT NOW
MY LIFE IS COMPLETE NOW
AND WE OWE IT ALL TO THIS SITE
COZ ITS OF THIS SITE THAT WE MET AND FELL IN LOVE
THANKYOU POF.....
F.A.M
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| Do you actually meet or date the people you meet here online?
Posted: 5/21/2008 11:58:54 PM | Yes I have dated people met online.................... And I'm still here lol
My friend had the 1 month rule - if after chatting online for a month the person seemed relatively sane then she would meet. I try to keep to that but take into account of the subtle messsages received online. If there is online rapport and the conversation is 'normal' and still flows then maybe a meeting earlier.
I wont do online romance - I need a real person for that  | |
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| Do you actually meet or date the people you meet here online?
Posted: 5/22/2008 12:35:34 AM | | I don't do online romance either yet I am surprised at the number of guys who seem to get so affectionate and flirtatious before they have even met me. I guess for some it's a quick, easy and cheap way to get some thrills but to me it's an instant turnoff when somebody gets too familiar too quickly. I also don't like it when guys sign off with "love" or "xxxx" when they haven't even met you either. It just comes across as fake or desperate or needy. | |
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| Do you actually meet or date the people you meet here online?
Posted: 5/22/2008 12:46:32 AM | My pet peeve is the whole "babe" thing, like some guy calling you sweety, honey, darl, etc etc ad nauseum before you even meet, or exchange messages, it's just SO annoying and demeaning, like they can't even be bothered using your name, or remembering it. Fair enough once you get together, get to know each other and all comfy but between total strangers it's just offensive, IMHO anyway, and in my case it's a surefire way to never meet 
ronda  | |
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| Do you actually meet or date the people you meet here online?
Posted: 5/22/2008 12:53:39 AM | I think it is a good point about not writing love or xxxx because you should do what you would do if you met a person in person rather then online.
If you met someone at the pub after work your not going to be affectionate like that because you know you will scare them off.
I think maybe the internet dating thing is like text messaging......people use totally different rules just like they throw proper english out the window in text messages lol | |
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| Do you actually meet or date the people you meet here online?
Posted: 5/22/2008 1:14:00 AM | the Babe comeback line is pretty funny, thanks, I will try and remember that one.
One thing that I find very disappointing is that when you do end up meeting somebody and you think that they might be okay enough to meet for a second time, then they go and wreck everything by sending you a text with something corny or cliched like "hiya gorgeous" or "hey babe" and adding all the "xxxx" and the " " etc to their texts. I mean I can get quite affectionate and demonstrative and silly and lovedovey when I am IN a relationship but I find it a turnoff to be subject to all of this when still in the initial throes of getting to know somebody. And I agree with you rainbowskin - it's a surefire way NOT to meet or continue with somebody.  | |
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| Do you actually meet or date the people you meet here online?
Posted: 5/22/2008 1:46:39 AM | | I'm so glad to hear it's not just me that finds all that crap tacky and nasty, personally it makes me feel like just another notch on the belt or whatever, i would rather a guy call me something like mate or buddy than some throwaway diminutive cutesy shit. Does this happen to guys? and if so how does it make you feel? | |
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| Do you actually meet or date the people you meet here online?
Posted: 5/22/2008 1:55:31 AM | | The biggest problem that i seem to have with women is that they want me to look after them or they seem to want a father figure for there kids if i have ever had a problem but it happens rarely. The last episode was a few weeks ago and she was basically on the lines of i need help and that she loves me and that she needs me to be there for her and it gets tiring and this was on yahoo not here. these women seem to think that they need a night in shining armour to solve all there problems but lucky it doesnt happen much lol | |
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| Do you actually meet or date the people you meet here online?
Posted: 5/22/2008 2:04:31 AM | I can see how that would turn you off curiousaboutu77 and I agree that it wold turn me off too. I want to feel that I am being pursued because I am who I am, not what I may represent or can be to that person.
I had a friend who was going through a really bad marriage breakup with all sorts of rejection issues and she ended up joining the dating sites and met a few guys but I think she put them off because she appeared too needy and looking to be rescued and healed etc.
I think that before you can embark on even considering to add somebody to your life, you need to make sure that you are happy and comfortable and secure with yourself and your way of being, so that if you do meet somebody, it's not like a rescue mission, but it's a bonus and will enhance your life. | |
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| Do you actually meet or date the people you meet here online?
Posted: 5/22/2008 2:22:48 AM | that is absolutely spot on lineandletlive. I just find it disturbing in a way because she had never met me nor really new anything about me and yet here i was the answer to all her problems. It is definately true that you aren't ready for a relationship unless you are comfy in your own skin and that you can accommodate another person because when you are healing you dont really know what you want and what you want to do next with your life and you dont have the head space for a relationship because all your energy is being spent on healing.
The other thing that i find uncomfortable about needy women is that don't they worry about a person meeting there kids without being sure about it?.....you wouldn't want just anyone meeting them i thought unless your sure that they are fine because the kids will be hurt if they get attached to them too and you dont want them to get hurt but i don't know | |
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| Do you actually meet or date the people you meet here online?
Posted: 5/22/2008 3:16:06 AM | I think you two should meet 
You seem to have a consensus on the 'needy women' thing
Re being called Babe or Darl
Talk to an Irishman or woman and everyone is 'darl'
And they dont want to date any of them
(just something to keep in mind)
As to call me MATE or BUDDY or PAL
Not a chance
Unless I am wearing stubby shorts and a blue singlet and leaning up against a bar with a beer in my hand
Likewise...not a chance
Re saying "Hi gorgeous" when I greet and just before the hug/kiss - guilty as charged
No wonder I'm single!
I do like people to use my name though
Just got off the phone with last relationship and we were discussing just that
He seldom used my name
He sounded genuinely shocked when I told him
Now we are MATES, and before we were seeing each other we were MATES, but when we were seeing each other I dont think I would have said we were MATES
We are all so very different arent we?
Just goes to show there is no 'formula' to getting it right besides....
Being exactly who and how you are
Much better hit rate I think in finding someone who fits with 'you' :)
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| Do you actually meet or date the people you meet here online?
Posted: 5/22/2008 4:13:27 AM |
The other thing that i find uncomfortable about needy women is that don't they worry about a person meeting there kids without being sure about it?.....you wouldn't want just anyone meeting them i thought unless your sure that they are fine because the kids will be hurt if they get attached to them too and you dont want them to get hurt but i don't know
Agreed curiousaboutu77 unfortunately males are guilty of this too. I dont like seeing peoples kids in pics online. I know a woman who has invited a males she hadnt actually met in real life over to her home with the child there. She even boasted about how sweet one was because he brought her and the child gifts??????? HELLO that is just tooooo much for me. We have an nline persona that is bolstered with anonymity - doesnt mean we lie but unfortunately some people do.
I dont lik the cutesy either - its kind of like invading personal space or comfort zones - a turn off! | |
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| Do you actually meet or date the people you meet here online?
Posted: 5/22/2008 4:23:10 AM |
The other thing that i find uncomfortable about needy women is that don't they worry about a person meeting there kids without being sure about it?.....you wouldn't want just anyone meeting them i thought unless your sure that they are fine because the kids will be hurt if they get attached to them too and you dont want them to get hurt but i don't know
This is why I am on here looking for friends and not dating or long term, once there is only me to look after then I will be open to a relationship. In the mean time I am having a ball making new friends and socailising.
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| Do you actually meet or date the people you meet here online?
Posted: 5/22/2008 4:53:30 AM | | That is quite disturbing AbbieF..inviting person over to house after never meeting him and he brings gifts for kids is too much....as far as im concerned kids should not be brought into the equation until atleast it is established that the two people are going to be dating each other and not just getting to know each other.if you don't know the person and they turn out to be unsuitable for you to date or they could be even worse then that and you don't want your kids involved in that. | |
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| Do you actually meet or date the people you meet here online?
Posted: 5/22/2008 9:16:09 AM | I can be a bit 'blonde' to advances sometimes... actually a lot of the time. The first I knew that a guy was interested in me (who I went on to see for about 7yrs) was when he left easter eggs on the front gate for my kids with a note saying:
For your turkeys. Happy Easter. xx
He knew my kids mattered to me. He knew I had raised them alone. And he knew I would appreciate someone thinking of them. He hadn't met them. I read it as his way of saying, "I like you and I'm not phased by the fact you have children".
Pet names or nicknames don't bother me - probably because I use them. I figure some people are more affectionate than others, and some are just a little more expressive, maybe? There's a guy who comes into work and always greets me with a cheery, "Hi Gorgeous". I smile. I'm happy thinking that's his only goal.
A big kiwi lad came into work tonight and when I greeted him, he just kind of put his head down shyly and kept walking. I called after him, "Oi Smiley! You can't come in here looking all cute and not say hi to me." He gave me a grin and I helped him find what he was looking for. When he left I said "Thanks Sweet." Because he was.
I think some of the above comments can be likened to girls getting offended when site workers whistle at them. Truly, I have never seen the crime in that. There's a guy up on a scaffold, and a little eye candy wanders by. They show their appreciation. Does it really hurt to give them a grin and wave and accept the compliment?
Have you girls never told a guy he's cute? Have you never winked at a guy across the room, or made the 'sizzle' sound as they walked passed? Or simply said "Damnnnnnnnn" as your jaw hit the floor?
Seriously, whether in sms, online, or in real life... It doesn't hurt to have a little fun with things. | |
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| Do you actually meet or date the people you meet here online?
Posted: 5/22/2008 4:44:48 PM | good post bionic and i agree with you...petnames can be ok as long as it is respectful and in regards to the people that judge others because they use some form of general name like hun or whatever and you prefer real names...can i make one small point why didnt you use your real name when you join any online community but use a made up nic.....lol....personally i also do hate babe, just cos i dont like it but i wont judge a lady for using it as it might be more a habit then anything...the xxx scenario is prolific from the ladies as well and no i dont take offence as it can be done in a respectful way.and doesnt really infer anything else..In regards to the original post topic ...yes i have met numerous people from online for a coffee a chat and a laugh...some are nice and some are idiots...we will never like everyone....to me the main thing is attitude and respect and unfortunately a lot of people from both the male and female side lose this with their online anonimity...which is a shame....but such is life .
I nearly forgot ....Tolerance is a big thing too and there should be more of it online from a lot of people...
cheerz all be safe and be well | |
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| Do you actually meet or date the people you meet here online?
Posted: 5/23/2008 12:23:08 AM | Monaro and BA - I'm with you on the pet names. I use them all time....so I don't have a huge issue with it. As long as it's a throw-away...and not an 'ownership' thing.
For your turkeys. Happy Easter. xx
I love that, BA. I would soooo date him. (After I ate the choccies!) | |
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