| Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 6/24/2008 3:16:31 AM | I don't think sex on the first date kills a relationship.
But in what became a long term relationship, getting too frisky on the first date did give some ammunition for argument a couple of years down the track....... 
she one day accused me of low morals because i was willing to have sex with her on the first date. Then I accused her of being cheap for letting me get as far as I did........  | |
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| Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 6/24/2008 6:56:40 AM | | Absolutely. A first date is about getting to know a person. It's doubtful the two of you are anything close to in love, and if he even tries to get that on the first night, as far as I'm concerned, it's all he wanted in the first place. and why would a man even want to be with a woman who gives it up on the first night. Did it ever occur to men, that if she gives it up that easily for you, she probrably does for every other man she meets too. | |
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| Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 6/24/2008 8:03:57 AM | | This is a question based on WHO the two people are and WHERE they are in their life. Putting a time limit on sex is hard, not to say it's in the same area but it's like putting a time on love, impossible. We know before going into it just like everything else in life, for every action there is a reaction, be it good,bad or in between. You should both discuss and know what you're willing to face and handle and what type of relationship you want to have, if you're not sure, don't do it. Please people stop making a meant to be easy/beautiful act hard/ugly. | |
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| Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 6/24/2008 8:07:23 AM | | Well I met my guy on another site back in September we talked then I drove to his State in the middle of November. I spent the weekend with him and loved it. We are still seeing each other I have met his daughter and family. We had talked for a month or so before we had sex and it's been great ever since... I felt like I had knew him forever. I wish I had met him yrs ago..lol. | |
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| Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 6/24/2008 8:14:36 AM | It doesn't really matter. What makes a relationship click is the level of connection, and that happens nearly instantly even though people refute it. It occurs at a subconscious level out of the ordinary awareness.
One day I'll have to write a paper on love, romance, and mince meat pies to illuminate you all's thinking.
The Eagle | |
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| Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 6/24/2008 8:32:16 AM | | i think sex on the first date is wrong due 2 what if thats all they r after??also when u meet someone ,u really like them if they would wait they r a keeper!!also it make it special if u make plans for a romantic sexual evening makes it more special and hot dont u think???? | |
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| Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 6/24/2008 8:45:53 AM | Funny...I guess I am a bit of a hypocrite when it comes to this topic...
I have always encouraged my children to not let lust get confused for love...and I have definitely rolled my eyes a time or two when a friend was regaling me with a tale of such. I am quite sure I have posted in forums, "What do you expect?!"
But yes, I have also been there, done it...and yes, they have resulted in relationships that were gratifying and fulfilling and not just sexually based. (And let's not just limit it to "the first date"...how about just "too soon!?") LOL
In fact, a friend & I were just speaking about this, earlier this morning! It started out as talk of "one night stands" but we got to talking how those intended "one nighters" never truly remained just one night...that they did evolve into more. Maybe not long term realtionships...but more.
I think if it fits for both partners...and it feels right...cause sometimes that chemical connection is present not simply because of the sexual chemistry, but all of the compounds blending!...then so be it.
But I will still always encourage my kids to take time to get to know someone, first! LOL
Sex is better when it is with someone you have trust, friendship, comfort, etc with. :) | |
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| Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 6/24/2008 10:28:29 AM | | I made that stupid mistake of having sex on the first date. It was nice, but that was all he wanted the many other times we went out. He was not wanting a ltr or a companion. Just your run of the mill f**k buddy. | |
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| Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 6/24/2008 10:55:46 AM | Sex on a first date may not kill a potential relationship but I think it makes it harder to achieve a substantial one. If there is a lot of passion right away, it is hard to rein those emotions in, but well worth it in the long run, I think.
Once a man is in my heart and in my head...in a good way and the connection is there for him too...the really great sex will come...maybe!! | |
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| Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 6/24/2008 4:02:36 PM | | I'm with you Kat!! I had sex with my wife the first time we went out together.. I will say it was not the first time we met, but was the first time we spent time with each other. There was an attraction that was sexual from the start. It lasted for 20 years. We had our share of problems, but not in the bedroom.. I think each situation is it's own situation. Let's face it..you can be best buds, like chatting with each other, hold hands at the store, and be kissy kissy, but if you don't enjoy each other in bed, usually your are done anyway!!! How can anyone possibly say that if they would have waited till the second or third date, that the relationship would have lasted!! I say be your own judge, but don't judge what you don't know.. To each his own and each is right.. | |
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| Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 6/24/2008 4:16:24 PM | It's a moot point.
We could just as well reframe this into the 'third date' rule.
Rules are guidlines that humans create. But two people in Space and Time, depending on the energy present, may over ride such rules.
rules are from the head., energy springs forth from a place hard to describe.
I am no expert at this one, but I will share a great quote, a favorite of mine:
Love...Time...Distance and Affinity
It is wrong to think that love comes from long companionship and persevering courtship.
Love is the offspring of spiritual affinity
and unless that affinity is created in a moment,
it will not be created for years or even generations."
Khalil Gibran * *
~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 'Kimbo `````````````````````````````````````
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| Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 6/24/2008 5:05:54 PM | It's pretty rare that I will have sex on a first date or meeting. The chemistry would have to be crazy and I would know that no matter what happened later...I would have no regrets.
Having said that...there were only two men who I have felt that chemistry with. The first one I knew for a year...he was the lead guitarist in our band and I was the singer. I knew him for a year before I had sex with him and the experience blew me away.  
The second guy I met on here...it was lust at first sight...I guess. We met up about nine months ago and it just happened. We talked a couple of times after that but never got together and lost contact and I just figured that would be the end of it. About a week ago he sent me a message and before I knew it we were meeting that same night. I can only say that the sex and chemisty was not something I imagined!!
In that entire nine months between the two times I saw him, I had sex with only one guy who I was in a semi-serious relationship with but the sex was just like all my relationships... Not that the sex was bad but the crazy intense chemistry was missing...for me anyway...same way even in my marriage.
I doubt he and I will end up in a serious relationship although I do hope we can get together more. What I have learned about sex and relationships is that although it's not easy to have both crazy, intense passion and a loving, committed relationship I will hold out until I find both...until then...I'll take the passion!  | |
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| Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 6/24/2008 5:07:34 PM | | Is this the 21st century or what? Are you stuck in the 1950s? I don't see a problem with it if the chemistry is there and you are two mutually consenting adults. Later on you might find out he is a jerk but then again, what does that have to do with how quickly you have sex? That can happen if you wait a year. | |
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| Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 6/24/2008 5:35:52 PM | I'm with JessKO - all my serious relationships started out with quick sex, including my ex who I was married to for almost 16 years.
I never expected it or tried to engineer it, and alcohol didn't figure in, or drugs (which I don't do), it was just very strong mutual attraction and one thing led to another. Once I went over to pick up a date for our first lunch on Friday and we ended up staying in her place until Monday morning. Later we moved in together and almost got married.
That thing called chemistry isn't just screaming hormones to me; it's just a feeling that both people seem to have almost immediately.
I've also had relationships that lasted that took a while to get there, but I don't think something happening on the first date is a bad thing, as long as you take precautions. (A lot of Baby Boomers I've learned in conversations tend to ignore that a bit.) | |
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| Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 6/24/2008 5:45:36 PM |
(Msg 252) Did it ever occur to men, that if she gives it up that easily for you, she probrably does for every other man she meets too.
That's a familiar refrain, however, there is another way of looking at it. The longer it takes for her to "give it up" the less she likes the guy. And let's not forget she probably "gave it up" rather quickly at least once in her life so the curent guy knows she doesn't like him as much as she liked the other guy.
Taking those two things into consideration hopefully one can understand why guys tend to leave rather than hang around when they see nothing is forthcoming. | |
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| Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 6/30/2008 4:07:41 PM | well i think the short answer is no, itll be a 1night stand.
The reason ur on that first date is attraction, neither of u know anything about each other so its all looks and guesses at first...
If u have sex on the first date, it takes away the whole guessing game and there'll be nothing left to the imagination.
The longer u prolong it... the more they'll want it. Knowing more about you will add to the intamesy of sex and create... love!
well im sure im on the right track... the problem is temptaion. | |
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| Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 6/30/2008 4:40:24 PM | | I have had sex on first dates and some have turned into long term relationships. I think it depends on the person, I personally don't have any bad thoughts about someone that liked me so much they wanted to sleep with me. | |
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| Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 6/30/2008 6:42:56 PM | | Honestly- I couldn't take him seriously- if he did it with me on the first date.... he is probably doing it with other females too. Yep- I use that same saying on them like they do to females- no double standards here. | |
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