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| Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 12/7/2008 4:55:43 PM | I personally do not have sex on the first date is because there is really no reason to. Waiting a little bit for sex is an investment in better and more frequent sex when it finally arrives. There is really nothing to lose unless the world is going to end the next day. By not pressuring a woman for sex on the first date it shows good scruples and this usually earns a guy some much needed Brownie points. Plus, it keeps them wondering. By waiting, a man is probably assured of a steady sexual relationship and so, more sex in the long run. You see, good sex takes time. Time to know what the other person likes. There is no such thing as a universal technique or some assurance of success in the sack. Everyone is different and has certain likes and dislikes. You should do what a person likes and they should do what you like and as often as you like.
The one attractive component to the one night stand and why it may be so attractive to both men and women alike is that for those brief hours, everything is near perfect. You don't worry about tomorrow or what your partner thinks of you or the consequences. It is pure passion and erotic need. Alcohol only diminishes inhibitions further.
If there is a chance of a lengthy or permanent relationship it is best to wait to engage in sexual activity. What's a few days, weeks or months? There are many married couples that wait longer than that for sex and these are people who have been together for years. The moral: It is never too late to have a bad sex life. | |
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| Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 12/7/2008 6:28:36 PM | | I had one relationship that came from sex on the first date, but he was older and more desperate for a relationship then I was. It become loving over time, but the age difference and certain other needs eventually became a problem, so it ended after about a year. Everyone is different though. What works for one person, doesn't work for everyone. I have a pretty high sex drive for a girl so I don't like to wait forever on sex. But sex on a first date is not always a good idea either. | |
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| Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 12/7/2008 8:21:13 PM | | I agree about 90% it is trashy to give up on someone for giving up on the first night but then again usually that spins off into other things like....maybe they dont know how to correctly express themselves or maybe they are horn dogs it could go down to just about any reason......but dose sex on the first date kill a relationship??? No.....but once you do that after a frist date then you best expect that sex will be a big part of your future relationship........I agree with you spider you can get to know someone after you bang them but it dose make it very difficult to want anything else from them other than sex..... | |
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| Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 12/7/2008 10:33:44 PM | It depends on the people and their maturity. If I'm really attracted to someone, I'd rather have sex on the first date than say, go 'bowling' Grizfan - 
Some dates start off in the early afternoon with lunch and an afternoon together and then a dinner out and an evening together and if you hit it off, back to someone's place for a private drink, or whatever?
After at least 12 hours together, I don't see a problem. What are all the previous posters - strict Catholics or Amish?  | |
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rain48
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Joined: 11/11/2008
Msg: 306 | |
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| Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 12/8/2008 12:23:44 AM | "I'd rather have sex on the first date than say, go 'bowling' Grizfan -"
Ok that was uncalled for......the activities you do on a date I feel do not affect wether or not you will get laid if you would rather get laid then go bowling I completly understand. In my defence bowling is fun but as it stands I would much rather go out and have a good time with someone then rather just screw them.....I rest my case | |
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| Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 12/8/2008 3:42:21 AM | IMO, it depends on the individuals. I don't think sex on the first date automatically kills a relationship. However, if I were to bet on the success of the relationship, my money would have to go to those who wait.
I believe sex is more a mental connection than a physical one. I find it difficult to feel that close to someone on the first date. This a one hundred eighty degree turn from what I would have said fifteen to twenty years ago; so I'm not sure if age is a factor in my response. As far as personal experience; I wouldn't say it killed or ruined the possibility of growing my relationships but it certainly didn't help either.
I think, however, there is no correct answer... it depends on the person. | |
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| Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 12/8/2008 4:18:51 AM | You can still get to know someone after you bang them.
Sure you can, weekly at the clinic when you're getting your shots to clean up whatever you caught.
Back in my younger days when I thought sex on a first date meant the guy liked me, yeah I did it.......WRONG MOVE FOR ME.
Now that I am older and wiser, and with all that is out there now.......yes, sex on a first date would lead me to wonder if this person expects that of all the women he meets......and does it........and OMG what could I have possibly caught? I want to know that there is more attraction to me than just a hop in the sack. Sex for me is the icing on the cake....not the flour you put in the bowl first to see if the batter will thicken up | |
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| Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 12/8/2008 5:01:57 AM | | First day meeting someone and haven sex is not good. How many more guys you think she gave it up to on the first day. When you fall in love that diffrent you two are not going to work out even if days and months pass by you two just in it for the sexally side. | |
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| Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 10/17/2009 5:29:07 PM | All I can say is that I have had it happen and I am alone today. I do not understand why it has to be that way, but for some God forsaken or God created reason it is that way.
I have always found, however, that it was the immaturity of the man after it happened that made it impossible to have a relationship. They just feel like they opened a package, which contains a classic novel, and they don't care to read it. They just want to get to the next woman and open her package, and leave that book unread as well.
You just have to be the book in the beginning, and they have to read all the way, until at the very end, they get rewarded with a present-you!
But where are the guys who are patient, confident, or desirous of a single woman enough to be so persistent and romantic as to have to delay gratification for so long?
I still cry sometimes thinking of men I've lost because I let them sleep with me before we got married. But you know, there was always something that I could tell about those guys...something....that told me that I would NEVER want to marry THEM.
So who knows what the hell is really going on? | |
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| Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 10/18/2009 4:22:07 AM | Sex on a first date is traditionally a no no mothers instill in thier girls. Rightly so women dont want to be seen as "easy" and gain so called"reputations" as such in the light of others which is understandable. They learn they have a valuable comodity men desire and holding back a while can bring them good fortune. They realize during this phase, they learn about men what would not normally be revealed. I have heard women remark, "Men dont know what there tounge is good for".
Having sex on the first day is rare although it does happen. And many men, myself included enjoy sex which is why these so called "loose women" by other women do get a much better light cast upon them by many men for the schere knowledge that they know what a man wants and can deliver that. This why brothels, the "Mustage Ranch", ect. are so successful. | |
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| Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 10/18/2009 11:00:29 AM | If you both are feeling it and you have the right chemistry going, they will want to repeat it. If its just ok, either party has the choice to make up excuses or not. Sometimes they decide they want to move in. I could hate the double standards, because if a man doesn't give it up to a woman and she wants it then she feels like she did something wrong and hes not into her, but if a woman does that then they may or may not stick around. And then the ones that did like you but you gave it up to soon in their book, so no go. It takes a strong man to understand a girl who says yes on the first date, maybe she doesn't want to get stuck with a bad lay, maybe she was just as horny as he was, and just maybe she doesn't want a second date but he is hot. Women can be as sexually forward just as men. And then there are those who have the madonna/w hore complex. She may be the wife, but I dont want her doing stuff like that so I go out and find me a prostitute. Yeah..those kinda guys are still around. Its all upto you, how u feel. Its not like your gonna screw each of your first dates, its a chemistry dance, and how much both of you are without the mia culpa feelings, and religious upbringing, yada yada. Always, without a doubt be protected, play it safe.  | |
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1jamez
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Joined: 3/21/2009
Msg: 318 | |
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| Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 10/18/2009 12:04:46 PM |
Some people use such strange logic when it comes to sex. They say guys are just after sex and then turn around and say that if they supply sex the guy won't be back. That is the height of illogic.
Agreed.
I can't believe how many women rely on this most absurd circular reasoning.
As for men liking the chase logic dictates such a man will endeavor to seek out chases. Whether the woman holds out for a week or a month or six months once it happens the chase is over and .....well, when the chase is over, it's over.
The opposite applies, as well. People who value being chased more than being with the person will be dissatisfied in a relationship. They will expect their partner to continue the chase, meaning they are high maintenance folks, or they will seek another partner (chase).
In any case it does not bode well for a long term relationship. If the chase is more important than the relationship one will leave a relationship so as to experience another chase. It just seems like common sense to me.
Brilliant post. | |
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| Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 10/18/2009 12:26:48 PM | Sometimes people have sex on the first date and take it for what it is: sex on the first date. They don't expect anything from it and certainly don't play into that 'will it mess up something' that they could've had somewhere down the road.
It depends, really, on the two people who get involved with first date sex. It is rare and not an exception to the rule. So trying to remain nonchalant while at the same time being anxious if the person will call back the next day is what you put yourself out there for when you do this. Don't expect a person to admire you for your mindset about first date sex and plan on a long term relationship with you. | |
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1jamez
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Joined: 3/21/2009
Msg: 321 | |
| Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 10/18/2009 4:03:22 PM | The surprising reality is that fellas do indeed form long term relationships like this. It is never planned, it just happens. No one holds a grudge forever =) Especially when sharing so much, my goodness =)
Those who fall trap to this and swear to abide by the drill in that it will never happen again, it usually always does, trouble finds them every time. These types also get trapped by their conscientious civility, by being too polite to escape after being so stupid to have put themselves in that situation to begin with too. It's a nasty fire to play with.
Others simply do not care and live for the moment, feed them for a day and they will come back for more..teach them to fish and ..well. you'll never see them again =)
I think t is better to be friends first and then sort out if they are sexually compatible afterwards, than the other way around. There is already too much to sort out in ensuring both are on the same page besides just sex and chemistry if they are shooting for long term, as if the odds aren't stacked high enough as is. heh...=) | |
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| Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 10/18/2009 4:08:49 PM | The number of the date which sex happens is irrelevant. If the 2 people are into each other that much it could happen on the first or later. The deciding factor is how emotionally connected are you and this can happen on the first date if you have been talking/chatting for a long time before you met.
Some people love to categorize things in absolutes. | |
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| Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 10/18/2009 4:30:16 PM | | Yes if you have sex on the first date or even second then this will almost always kill any chance of their being a relationship come out of it. Like it or not women who have sex to quickly and easily are still looked down upon. Many men will deny this, but it is still a double standard of our society. | |
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| Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 10/18/2009 4:40:02 PM |
Yes if you have sex on the first date or even second then this will almost always kill any chance of their being a relationship come out of it. Like it or not women who have sex to quickly and easily are still looked down upon. Many men will deny this, but it is still a double standard of our society.
I've had sex with many women on the first or an early date... if by the time we had sex I had not developed an emotional attachment, it simply never happened afterwards...
I'd maybe keep seeing them for sex, or because they were fun to hang out with -even months later, but I never considered them as long term relationship material...
The women who waited until I got to know them before I got to fcuk them, seemed to do much better in relationships... When I got to know them, those were the ones I didn't cheat on or dump for someone else later.... they were the ones I cared about...
A lot of guys on these threads will proclaim it doesn't make a difference when you have sex, first date, second etc... however, remember, they're all single looking for another women... they may tell you it worked for them, but they're all talking about an "ex" | |
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| Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 10/18/2009 4:40:08 PM |
The number of the date which sex happens is irrelevant. If the 2 people are into each other that much it could happen on the first or later. The deciding factor is how emotionally connected are you and this can happen on the first date if you have been talking/chatting for a long time before you met.
I agree. If two people are going to click they do regardless of when they have sex. If you have first date sex with someone and they think less of you afterwards then you probably weren't compatible anyway. I couldn't be with someone who thought that a girl was unworthy because she had sex with him. A person with that kind of mindset probably wouldn't mesh with me on a lot of other levels. | |
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