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EB1
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Joined: 7/31/2006
Msg: 27 | |
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| Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 9/7/2006 12:15:26 PM | | Ive had sex on the first date a few times and it's usually turned into a relationship but not necessarily deep loving. I dont think it has that much bearing on how a relationship turns out. If it happens, I dont turn it down but I dont put out any pressure for it to happen either. I try to remain a gentleman and wait for the "go ahead" sign before sex. If it's a woman I really like and am beginning to fall in love with then I dont mind waiting as long as it takes. | |
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golong
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Joined: 2/17/2006
Msg: 32 | |
| Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 9/7/2006 12:40:04 PM | Sometimes women can get caught up in the emotions of what is going on, guy should be respectfull before penintrateing to ask, "are you sure about us doing this?"
This is good advise I'm sure it would have prevented many regrets. and fauls accusations. | |
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| Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 9/7/2006 12:42:30 PM | I found it helpful to leave the lights on
and tell him not to peek...... 
you will quickly find out what kinda guy he is !
hey orange juice... good input there as
I think your right....
people kill relationships.
that was very wise.....
ps.. no that is not my sweety in the pot.
I let him live, since he was good natured about everything...
;)
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| Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 9/7/2006 12:54:01 PM | I have before and it can add stress to the relationship on many levels. I don't think it destroys the possibility of a deep loving relationship... but I think it creates the risk of both persons feeling suddenly tied to the other.
Even if they really like each other, that can create some resentment.
Then what happens on the second date when she or he don't want to? | |
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| Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 9/7/2006 1:10:58 PM | Waaaay back, I often had sex on a first date - that's why I went to parties! LOL!
But even then, none were one night stands (except for one - she was just passing through...sigh)...I wanted (and still do want) a relationship.
Some of those relationships were good, some bad, and one (the 15-year long one) was both good and bad - in that order.
What people were saying about STDs is right on. I personally would NOT push for sex on a first date. Then again, it probably wouldn't take the right girl much to convince me...LOL, LOL, LOL!
...so.
If the chemistry is there, go for it. But go for it with your eyes wide open, and think! It's not just yourself doing this. Are you sure this is what your partner wants? Do you have your sheath (and a spare)? Is it just the Tequila talking?
AND/BUT...this is another side benefit of online services like this: Assuming your date hasn't been putting you on, you already know that he/she is reasonably suitable/compatible for you. I think that takes some of the fear of an irrevocable step away...
Sun Tzu said "Sleep is a weapon." So sleep on it, is my advice.
Cheers,
H/B/S | |
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D.D.A
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Joined: 8/13/2006
Msg: 37 | |
| Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 9/7/2006 1:43:13 PM | | no it doesnt. if it doesnt work its cause you both aint compatible. no way id wait for sex that long no matter how much i liked the girl. you like a person have sex with em thats what i say. better than waiting 2 years to have sex then them leaving you as someone said earlier. | |
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| Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 9/7/2006 1:54:08 PM | I so want to say that is can work and there are some circumstances where it might but the deal is usually this...
Men (and women in a different way) like to win the prize. If she gives it away to him straight away he accpets it often, enjoys it, then thinks...well, I am special but all the same she probably gves it away to any guy 1st date, so she isnt special.
No challenge, no prize, I might have sex with her again sometime.
Personally I think that is pathetic and people get so strung up about sex for all sorts of insecure reasons. However it is still usually the case that if you have sex too soon as a woman you are no prize, history.
For the woman it usually indicates an early bond. How different can men and women be? | |
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| Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 9/7/2006 4:02:57 PM | | I look at it this way. When meeting someone new for a first time...there's a 50/50 chance you may or may not ever see them again....so save your self-respect, dignity and integrity and say "no". If he's really interested...he'll be back! | |
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| Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 9/7/2006 6:52:27 PM | | Honestly, I think sex on the first date is a big no-no. That's even though I never had sex, though I've had some good dates. I can't say I've ever felt comfortable with the idea of sex because a date has never given me enough chance to know them that some big red flag doesn't come up. I don't rush into it. And I'm happy I don't. If I should ever have children, I don't want to get into a dispute of who has the children should we become separated because I or they find reason for us to leave each other. Too many people out there are playing games. Maybe one day I'll find one who isn't, but thus far I've only known one, and that's me. I'd love to be proven wrong! Sex on the first date is for those who don't care what the consequences might be. I do care. | |
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| Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 9/7/2006 7:06:37 PM | | Sex on the first date to me doesn't say much about you as a person. I respect myself far too much than to give it out for free. Being that it is the most intimate act that 2 people can share I would only give myself to someone I could trust. Trust takes time and so should intimacy. Being easy if just... pathetic. It's like saying I dont respect myself and hey.. neither should you. | |
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| Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 9/7/2006 7:09:05 PM |
Who here has had sex on a first date or knows someone who has had sex on a first date and it ended up turning into a deep loving relationship? Notice I did not say it ended up turning into a sex friends relationship.
As long as you are ok with deep, loving relationships that did end .. sex on the first date has worked for me three out of four times. The one time it wasn't sex on the first date, the relationship lasted the same amount of time as the other three - about 6-7 years. | |
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| Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 9/7/2006 7:12:36 PM | well in previous cases it worked out for me because the 3 fiancees I got engaged to turned out that way.... first date sex & then a long term relationship then few months later we got engaged.
The last fiancee was a Online Internet friend for a year till we decided to meet in person- if he didnt cheated on me it would have been 2 years tomorrow (Sept 8) but yeah depends on the guy if he is the relationship material guy or a fling guy.... depends....
But majority of the men that i met in here were into the first date sex thing which to me was rather odd bec it specifically says on my profile I am not into mindgames/headgames/one night stands/flings & yet I end up meeting the ones that are....
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| Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 9/7/2006 8:03:30 PM | | i dont think its possible to have a full relationship, much less a good one, after having sex on the first date. quit frankly, i think anyone that moves that fast is just out there for what they can get anyway. i myself, was talking to a man on here and msn for 5 months, dating him online, but never seen him once face to face. when we met the first thing we done was have sex, basically the first date, considering that we knew basically nothing about each other at the time only what we said on msn, and that may not have been true on either part. after i left and went home, the relationship ended badly in 2 more months, because we moved so fast knowing so little, it just couldnt last anymore then it did! | |
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| Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 9/8/2006 4:31:01 AM | actually, if I go into it just for the sex and don't expect anything but sex, how can it go wrong?
Having sex on the first date doesn't have anything to do with self importance or dignity...unless that's how you feel going into the 'relationship', however short it is.
Why is sex tied to bad connotations? Sex is not bad, unless someone lies about it. Its all about chemistry.  and what you expect out of the date. ( and how many margaritas youve had ) | |
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