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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?      Home login  
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 keichler
Joined: 8/18/2006
Msg: 51
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Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?Page 3 of 24    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24)
of course you do fitnessrabbit ...why that doesnt suprise me i dont know.
 julietjuliet
Joined: 7/3/2006
Msg: 52
Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 9/8/2006 8:04:09 AM
OP: yes i met my ex fiance at a funeral, and we saw each other a few times before we actually 'got together'. When we were alone it happened, and we had a nine year relationship. There was 8 years difference in our ages and i had 3 children, compared to his nil. So it's not all bad, it depends on the chemistry between two people, either it's there or it's not. I think a person should be mature enough to be able to tell how they feel about a person. First date, tenth date....does it really matter?
 EastSideEddie
Joined: 8/13/2006
Msg: 53
Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 9/8/2006 8:07:22 AM
It's my opinion that sex on the first date is harmful only because it will likely cloud the true feelings you have (good or bad) in a gush of infatuation.

Plus you have the issue of whether first date sex is the person's normal routine.

It's really a personal choice. Too many people equate sex with love, and they are two very different things.
 Carnation66
Joined: 4/27/2006
Msg: 54
Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 9/8/2006 8:55:45 AM
YES, IT CAN KILL A POTENTIAL RELATIONSHIP
 micmac35
Joined: 7/11/2006
Msg: 55
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Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 9/8/2006 10:13:49 AM
"Too many people equate sex with love, and they are two very different things. "

THAT is true for men... Men tend to compartmentalize.
For most women I think the line is alot more blurred.

IMHO
 D.D.A
Joined: 8/13/2006
Msg: 56
Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 9/8/2006 10:28:49 AM

reddwine you said it girl thats exactly it. i agree completely
 pleezr2
Joined: 9/3/2006
Msg: 57
Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 9/8/2006 10:40:05 AM
My ex of a few days and I went to dance/karaoke fund raiser for VON. We had a great time! She left her car at my place as it was on route to the dance. When we got back to my place..I was nervous about asking her in ( shy afraid of rejection). She asked to see my place and have a cup of tea. I was relieved, After touring the house and chatting on the couch in front of the fireplace. She asked for a kiss. I responded with a pleasant, soft kiss. She asked for another one to see if it was a fluke (her words) I did and from there it was the first time I had experienced that much passion on the first date. We stayed together for 3 + yrs. Unfortunately, we had a few heated arguments recently and she decided to see her ex and Sorry that's why I'm here!
 EastSideEddie
Joined: 8/13/2006
Msg: 58
Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 9/8/2006 10:42:59 AM

THAT is true for men


But never women? Women are in love with every man with whom they have sex?

Talk about compartmentalizing....

Some people just never understand that broad reaching statements like that are sexist. All men are not the same. All women are not the same. Very unfair to assume that they are.
 grrrlady
Joined: 12/30/2005
Msg: 59
Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 9/8/2006 10:43:37 AM
I think that it does. There needs to be some sort of connection to fall back on when the sex is done. And first time sex usually sucks unless you have had long talks about what you like...that usually requires a few dates...unless of course your first date lasts an entire weekend...
 sharkie77
Joined: 8/31/2006
Msg: 60
Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 9/8/2006 12:39:08 PM
how about a date?
 Belly Drummer Girl
Joined: 8/16/2005
Msg: 61
Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 9/8/2006 1:54:54 PM
Wow. I'm surprised at how many success stories there have been of people who did the horizontal mambo on the first date and it actually turned into a long relationship. That's great. Now does that mean I am going to go jump in the sack with the next guy I am attracted to....nope. I'm just not built that way. I don't judge people who can do that it's just not me. Call me old fashioned but I want a guy to really care about me first before we sleep together and that doesn't happen on the first date. However, if there's magic I do believe in affection on the first date.

Happy dating everyone.
 ashley1861
Joined: 11/6/2004
Msg: 62
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Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 9/8/2006 4:20:40 PM
Probably not in all cases... but it has been fine for me and mine....going on 2 years...
 RitaZ
Joined: 6/2/2006
Msg: 63
Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 9/8/2006 4:56:46 PM
Communication is key. Have you talked previously about what you want for the future? If the date is with someone who wants what you want, you can talk about how you're both adults and you both wish to pursue the physical here and now. Why wait? If you assure each other that there will be no respect issues after, then if, and only if, you are seeing someone who is honest and not just saying what you want to hear in order to play hide the submarine, there should be no further issues. And if that person is dishonest about that, then they're not suitable for future relationships anyway.

Before me and my boyfriend met, we talked online extensively about how we felt a physical attraction for each other and couldn't wait to get past the initial stages of dating protocol. He assured me he would never expect anything from a date except my companionship. But if the physical attraction got hold of us and we didn't put the brakes on, he would never disrespect me for it. Well, lets just say the physical attraction got hold of us and we didn't put the brakes on. And he had been telling the truth. He loves and respects me totally, and we are comitted for life.

As in all things involved with dating/relationships, there are no hard and fast rules set in stone. True honest communication is the only rule. How can you tell if it's true and honest? That's where it takes a leap of faith and gut instinct.
 shinxy
Joined: 3/5/2006
Msg: 64
Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 9/8/2006 7:47:41 PM
What if you have known the person for 20 years and have talked on the phone, but because he is in the war, it makes it impossible?
 Scifigeekgal
Joined: 4/30/2006
Msg: 65
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Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 9/8/2006 9:29:19 PM
Shinxy I believe that is different as you already know the person already. So sex on your first date with him would be fine as you have something that developed.

I believe the OP was talking about sex with a person they barely know. With that I believe is quite dangerous and scary. I think that with these type of things man or woman you are just being used for one's own personal pleasure.

There is a possibility of a relationship that could develop and it might turn out to be something good, however based on what I have seen posted here on the forums and in real life it rarely ever turns into a relationship.

It really comes to down making appropriate decisions for yourself, taking control of your body and needs. Sex these days have turned into a power struggle instead of something to be enjoyed by two people.

I think that you (the OP) should think more about what you are looking for and reevaluate your needs and wants in meeting the right people for whatever it is that you need. Jumping into bed is not only dangerous but there are things to consider such as STDs, HIV and the like.
 Runs With Squirrels
Joined: 10/21/2005
Msg: 66
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Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 9/8/2006 9:41:18 PM
Honestly? I absolutely believe that it's possible to have a great relationship if you have sex on the first date. That said, I personally have a hard time with it. Not because I feel cheap or trashy or ANYTHING like that, but because if I feel as though I've made myself too vulnerable too quickly (be it physical or emotional vulnerability), I backpedal like crazy. So what ends up happening for me is that I wind up using the sex, the physical intimacy, as a means of avoiding emotional intimacy. I've gotten a lot better about NOT doing that over the last few years, but I still have to pay attention.

And obvously, as someone else said, if you're talking about having sex with someone you've known for a while but haven't been dating, that changes things significantly. I'm personally speaking in terms of people I don't know so well.
 mudflap1979
Joined: 3/25/2006
Msg: 67
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Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 9/9/2006 12:21:19 AM
hell yes it can harm a potential relationship...
 JessKO
Joined: 1/18/2005
Msg: 68
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Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 9/9/2006 2:40:03 AM
It all depends on your philosophy of sexuality.
 RoniMay
Joined: 6/30/2006
Msg: 69
Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 9/9/2006 5:25:19 AM
1. Sex is the highest physical expression of love toward your partner/lover/mate
2. Sex is healthy, lowers stress and releases chemicals/hormones that promote well being
3. Sex feels good
4. Sex is a gift
5. Sex should be enjoyed at every opportunity
6. Proven fact...men think about sex minute by minute
7. The average woman thinks about it every couple of days
8. I am glad I am not the average woman...


Sex on the 1st date???... that would all depend on what you are looking for... long term, heck no..... Just looking for a lover... why not, gotta sample the goods!
 Steven02151
Joined: 10/18/2005
Msg: 70
Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 9/9/2006 5:42:33 AM
9. Skin is the biggest sex organ
10. The brain is the next biggest sex organ
11. To have sex, you have to put your pee pee things together
12. You cant pee when youre having sex
13. Peeing feels good
14. The average man thinks about peeing usually when he has to go.
15. The average woman sits when she pees
16. Sex is a gift that you pay dearly for
17. Sex is God's gift, but God doesnt have sex thats why he watches you
18. Proven fact: people should be able to have sex out in the street whenever they want it
 shinxy
Joined: 3/5/2006
Msg: 71
Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 9/9/2006 6:52:06 AM
After 20 years, my first boyfriend has decided to show back up. He is stationed overseas in the war with Iraq. I'm still kind of confused but I know that I still love him.

Thank you kewlwest...
 EastSideEddie
Joined: 8/13/2006
Msg: 72
Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 9/9/2006 8:20:20 AM
What an incredible sociological statement that someone thinking going on two years is a long lasting relationship.

What a time we live in..... under two years......
 jimicaine
Joined: 5/8/2006
Msg: 73
Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 9/9/2006 10:14:56 AM
well i in my last relationship,i had sex on the first date,we ended up dating for another two years,and then got married and lasted another four years.i believe it was a deep-loving relationship
 tryintodulc
Joined: 9/4/2006
Msg: 74
Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 9/9/2006 10:27:11 AM
"Good point about those first dates that are with people you have known for awhile. I think that is a different situation. You already know each other as compared to a stranger."

Sex on a first date with a stranger? Are you talking about meet for the first time, he gets your number, asks you out, and then sex that night? Or those blind dates?

I agree about sticking to the original question though. No intent to insult you either. Just that it looks like narrowing down the focus may be in order.
 Belly Drummer Girl
Joined: 8/16/2005
Msg: 75
Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 9/9/2006 10:34:26 AM
I meant complete stranger. Someone you have never met before. Sorry thought I made that clear in the original post but looks like I didn't.

I'm not talking about friends you've known for years or a work collegue. That's a totally different story in some ways.

Thanks for letting me know I should be more specific.
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