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| Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 12/17/2006 4:06:32 PM | It would make no difference in terms of respect.
If you respect someone before - you will respect them after.
My ex wife and me (married 17 years) could not keep our hands off of each other the first night we met. If anything I respected her even more for being honest about it.
Years ago ... lets call her Susie (cus that was her name) made me nuts for about 18 months (until she moved to Japan) and I just kept coming back for the same ole same ole dry hunching on the couch - I loved ever second of it and all the sofa rash. Did not change my respect level - I liked her the first time I met her and always did like/respect her.
Three years ago (when I became single) I was a bit shocked to find out sex was being treated as ....... just part of the date. I could have been anyone to those gals ...... I don't actually "respect" that thinking - I could have been any guy - just another sausage to them. | |
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| Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 12/17/2006 4:23:53 PM | My take on this...
Boy meets girl...girl meets boy...add some chemistry, throw in some good old fashioned flirting and woo hoo you know what…that’s a pretty good start...
If you both are into it then it shouldn't matter.
The downside...if its crappy sex...you’re doomed. Relationship is over...period.
If it's great sex and you get it on in the morning after a good romp the night before and don't look at each other with egg on your face, then you have your answer, if the relationship is meant to be, then sex is going to happen one way or the other and shouldn't matter when it happens.
Word of caution...
Say you have great sex, and yet you don't know the person well enough as your hormones got in the way and you just got plain Horney...no fault in that...takes two to do the mamba...
Just be prepared for the downside that just because there’s great sex, doesn’t mean there is a great relationship in the makes. It's just one element of many that you can cross of your list that make up a great relationship.
Personally, I like to build up a bit of anticipation and excitement and make both myself and my lady wait a bit. Makes for a more enjoyable experience for both...but don't wait to long as you might end up putting to much pressure into the whole getting it on thing and ruin a good thing (or risk getting stuck with a dead stick in the saddle)...
Cheers, 
Ranger Jim | |
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| Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 12/18/2006 2:03:22 PM | Well........ I once had sex with a woman three mins after we met and it lasted for 8 years.. Then again I waited or was made to wait 3 months with my wife and she turned in to a vicious male hating wench.....god i loved that woman..lol. Personally, I think it's all a crap shoot. It works or it doesnt. If there are any women in the Arkansas area that would care to test the my theory feel free to write...lol | |
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| Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 12/18/2006 4:38:47 PM | The Love, Sex and Dating survey
Men from all backgrounds answer our questions.
SURVEY TAKEN FROM http://www.loveordating.com/surveys.html :
15. Do you still have respect for a woman if she sleeps with you on the first night ?
Yes 64,9% (24)
No 10,8% (4)
TOTAL 75,7% 37 | |
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sddude
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Joined: 11/4/2004
Msg: 182 | |
| Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 12/18/2006 5:18:13 PM | I am celibate , but if she gives me a massage she is a keeper.
Naw sex will not kill it , it depends on the person and their thought of attraction and belifs .
I think some guys get a women for sex , once they get it and then they do not treat the woman the same , they were not looking for a relationship even though the woman thought so . | |
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| Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 12/18/2006 5:19:04 PM | No,Me and my wife did it on the first date.
It can make it alot more interesting to wait though.
Or get it out of the way to see if there could still be a potential relationship after the sex.
endless possibilites.with so many different outcomes. | |
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| Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 12/18/2006 10:22:29 PM | 1st date . . . . .
MAN ~ respects woman
WOMAN ~ respects man
MAN ~ absolutely acceptable he experience desire and passion trigger by attraction
WOMAN ~ NOT ACCEPTABLE she experience desires and passionate trigger by attraction
MAN ~ DOES NOT have to control his desire nor passion
Woman ~ HAS TO control her desires and passion
MAN ~ engages in sex with woman and still has respect of woman
WOMAN ~ engages in sex with man but LOSES respect of man
Very difficult FACT OF LIFE that woman have to be the ones in control!!!! Reality is women are DAMN if they feel and, thus, want to experience their sexuality . . . and DAMN if they don’t! I guess that why soooooooooooooooo many men keep saying “no games” . . . “sensual” . . . “sexual” . . . etc. I’m not negative . . it is just reality.
So OP ask yourself . . .CAN I LIVE WITH MYSELF AFTERWARDS . . . (is always ABOUT the “LATER” )
I for one, it WILL ALWAYS be about what I can live with . . . NOT what he thinks of me!!!!
Sincerely,
Angel | |
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| Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 12/19/2006 12:40:21 AM | In the modern era sex on the first date seems to be what most mena nd alot of women want. if a man and a women find each other appealing enough to want to have sex what difference whan they have it. When I was a young man it was not a common thing to meet and have sex the first night, but that didn't stop me from trying. Many times the sex consisted of me using just my hands to make her happy but she never stopped coming back for more. unfornately for women the old double standard still applies in the minds of men, it's ok for me but not you, if you will let me how many others have you let do it. unless there is an STD problem, just how the hell are men going to know who's been therwe brfore them if you don't tell. if they have to ask then you can bet they won't respect you in the morning.
BTW if there are any ladies who just need to scratch the itch, i will respect you for ever. | |
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| Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 12/19/2006 4:33:46 AM | I am now thinking of Samantha from Sex in the City: "Honey, its just sex!!!"
It really does depend upon the individuals and the circumstances. But even then, sometimes it still works. There was one female that I worked with that was still married, and slept around a lot, while working on her divorce~~um, lets just say she was popular.
Eventually, she got married to one of the guys at work. I heard that someone wrote on the bathroom wall in the men's locker room, "I was the sixth guy to sleep with ______ before ______ married her! So far as I can tell, she seems to be a nice person, and they seem to have a pretty good marriage.
Me? Twenty years ago, I was a Wild Woman. I have no idea of half of the names of the men that I slept with. Life was a Party! Did they respect me? Probably not, but in the words of Bob Segar, "I used them, they used me, and neither one cared." And always these "relationships" were short-lived. I am quite lucky on the STD standpoint. My analogy is: How many times can you play Russian Roulette and avoid the chamber with the bullet?
I am a lot more mellow now, and looking for something more than just sex. I am doing quite well on my own, though instead of having sex 4 times a day, I now have sex maybe four times a year...LOL At this point in my life, I would still have sex on the first date, but probably not if it was someone that I thought might be involved in a bigger picture, a LTR.
If sex is all you are after, then I say, Have Fun! But also, please be safe, because if you are both doing it on the first date, there is no telling, in effect, how many people you are sleeping with. Also, just make sure you respect yourself.
If you are looking for a relationship, then take the time to know another person's mind, their character, who they really are, because otherwise, the relationship will probably become all about sex.
Finally, a wise man that I know, advised me that for a Life Relationship to be truly successful, be friends first, because sex will only last for so long. | |
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| Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 12/19/2006 6:58:25 AM | Speaking only for myself...Sex on the first date ruined everything for me. I wanted more he didn't. I'm one of those women that can't seperate sex from something meaningful I guess. Some people I'm sure it works out fine for and I'm happy for them, I'm just not one of them.
Kar | |
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| Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 12/19/2006 9:02:21 AM | ^^^^^^
"Karuffin" . . . . Awesome!!!
That is what's all about:
KNOWING "WHO" we are and what we can and cannot handle aka taking responsibilities for our own decisions!!! It is no one else's fault but our own as to how we feel afterwards!
How anyone CAN THINK that "HE IS THE MAN" of your dreams on your first date . . . is totally beyond me!!!
Let's be real here!!!! Come on!!!
Sop using "he is the man" of my dreams (or whatever other excuse) for having sex on your 1st date. You do it cuz the energy is there!!!!
If you don't know yourself enough to know why you are doing it and how you are going to feel afterwards . . . . well you deserve to feel however you are going to feel afterwards.
As for you men who get involved with women who "think" they know what they are doing but DO NOT . . . . you deserve the drama in your life for not having the brains to size her up!!!
Best of luck folks . . .heheheeeee
Angel | |
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| Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 12/20/2006 9:52:35 AM | @A Lost Angel
I completely agree with your points about having to live with yourself afterwards and truly knowing yourself. I know myself so well. Having sex on a first date is not for me. I really need to care about someone. The more I like and care about someone the closer I can be with them physically. That doesn't mean I move at the pace of a turtle either. LOL 
People just need to be true to themselves. If you can do it and feel great about yourself and the situation afterwards just do it as Nike would say. To each his or her own  | |
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| Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 12/20/2006 11:38:12 AM | It's got to be a mutual thing. A little flirting is fine, and if it's accepted--great! Why the big hurry? Dating and flirting is called foreplay, people!!
I think people need to be more wary meeting someone on the internet, than if you met them in a local bar--where you have mutual acquaintances, etc.
I just don't know why anyone would try to get sex on the first date, you don't even know their last name, from a site where people are trying to find "the one."
If I were a guy, who met a nice woman....I wouldn't want her to put out the first night.
I can find sex anywhere....a quality person is more elusive. | |
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| Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 12/20/2006 1:00:31 PM | When I was 18 I met my exwife, at the time I was just out of a teenage relationship, and honestly was looking to get laid.
My exwife however did not put out, for nearly four months. Oh yes even the first day we met, we made out, heavy petting, all kinds of things, but no sex. Eventually I grew to love many things about her, things I probably would not have noticed had we just had sex that first day.
My general rule for advice to women is three dates. No sex for three dates, not even heavy petting, ok a bit of making out is ok, but thats it. This first of all weeds out those that are just looking for sex, and second gives you the ability to "sell" your other many qualities, such as great conversationalist, funny, witty, and generally a pleasure to be around.
After three dates you can get a sense that the man is not just looking for sex, that he really does want to spend some time with you, because he enjoys being around you, not because he thinks he is going to get laid. :)
My 2cents. | |
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| Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 12/29/2006 12:28:59 AM | weelllllll, just an update, I do not believe in it either. It did not happen on the first date
for me, cause I was not into that kind of stuff, manytimes I had an opportunity, and turned her down.
twenty years some later after I discovered girls, it happened,not on a first date even, just a meeting after a POF event. We both believe that it is not a good thing on a first date. We did not have a first date, the connection was there.
Now we (for the first time for me and her) have our song. We are both over 35. In the 50's and 60's when you went "steady" with a girl, there was a song between a man and a female.
My very first date(a set up none the less) at nineteen was with Thunder Bay's top model at the time. I was not thinking about sex, I was just thinking about just getting through this. We never dated again.
Sex ont the first date, has never been a thing with me. Now that I am older, and I believe that everything happens for a reason in any thing, I have finally at 43 had sex on the first meeting. Mind you we discussed that first. We were both willing not to do that, only because we respected each other.
After 5 hours or so of just hanging, chillin, making out, and after hours of conversation, we both decided together after makin out or actually makin love together, we had intercourse, which in fact is part of makin love.
Five hours of making out, 10 mins of intense sex, which happened to be the best sex that I have ever had. I know that I am a guy, we guys want sex all the time. I am also at a point in my life as much as I want the cuddling stuff more, I am a horn dog too. Females are no different.
we are all horn dogs, and it depends on the right person, the right connection.
tbaycuetee if you are reading this, good for you gorgeous, we did not meet through an online date, we met in public, even though we both have profiles on this site.
After reading some of the posts here, some of you people have had that happen, and it never lasted. I am doing this, I am 43, I dont want to do this for only 6 or 7 yrs, or just 15 years, I want a life time with this one that I broke my own rules for.
I feel for the first time in my life, I am living my life going through puberty once again, this time my parents are not preventing me from pining away for a woman like when we guys first discovered girls.
Those three little words that mean alot to a gurl "I miss you" hahahaha you thought I meant the other often misused three word.
get it, got it, good, I didnt think so with many
Sex on the first date, not good, and things happen for a reason.............."connection" | |
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| Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 1/4/2007 8:02:01 PM | I had a 2 year relationship from it happening and for the last year and a half which ended in us getting engaged. But she wanted to go back to New Orleans since she was a katrina victim and my company was sending me back to AZ. So yes it does happen. Would rather find out if you are sexually compatiable sometimes than go out for a while and find out... Wow.. they suck in bed!! And have to fight those emotions about caring for the person and knowing that they can't sexually make you happy.  | |
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| Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 1/4/2007 8:58:26 PM | Honestly..I've only ever had sex on the first date once...and I still am not sure what to think of it. On New Years Eve I spent the night at my friends house..and I knew that he had an interest in me for quite a while.. he asked to "be with me" as he put it..after a few drinks we got a little crazy and yes, had sex..a couple times. the outcome was good for the next day and a half I was there, but then he stopped calling me and I suggested a break today. He's quite upset and seems to still want to be with me, so really..I don't think it has anything to do with getting with him on the first date.
Buuuut
from what I've seen of others experiences:
sex on first date=You are Labelled as FUN.
no sex on the first date=interest, mystery..wanting to get to KNOW you.
sex after a few weeks-months= reliable,happy, LASTING relationships.
 once a girl is labelled as fun by one guy, it's VERY hard to change thier mind...if you can. | |
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