| Still a virgin!?
Posted: 8/27/2006 12:06:47 AM | | i'm still a virign and i am 20.. i think i am ready and wanting to do it.. but i am just scared and nervous.. its not like i am going to pick some guy off the street and we do it. | |
|
| |
| Still a virgin!?
Posted: 8/27/2006 10:08:23 AM | I think it's great that you're willing to save yourself. I've only met one guy that waited (and is still waiting although he made a pass at me in a purely relationship sense) until he found someone special. It was admirable, and honestly, it made me like him more. In my ever vulgar opinion, you shouldn't wait until marriage. If you find 'the one', then marriage is just the legal part. If you want to get married, then you've already said I do in more ways than one. Sex is a passionate expression of love, and by saving yourself for a symbolic ritual that's a lot of money for a piece of paper and a name change, I think you miss the point of being with that person. It's special, make it special, but don't necessarily wait.
On top of this - if your partner is bad in bed and you'll never be sexually satisfied with them, a lot of frustrations can come up in a relationship. A lot of them, ironically, is stress and sexual frustration. Sexually compatible people generally get along better - they have something to fall back on. So wait for that special someone, but don't wait too long in that special someone's relationship. | |
|
| Still a virgin!?
Posted: 8/27/2006 10:13:53 AM | | It's hard to be a virgin these days. It takes alot of strength for many people. Good for you, man. It's too bad that so many people today hear the word "virginity" and think of it as something to get rid of as soon as possible. And if you're doing it for religious reasons or because you want to obey God, you have nothing to be ashamed of. | |
|
| Still a virgin!?
Posted: 8/27/2006 10:20:46 AM | | The trouble is that people think you’re abnormal if you’re still a virgin after passing your teenage years. It agitates me that people can get away with blasé statements saying that virgins must have some kind of psychological, sociological or sexual problem. It is personal choice and they should be respected for that – not bullied or belittled for delaying sexual encounters. | |
|
| Still a virgin!?
Posted: 8/27/2006 4:50:05 PM | ^^^But at what age does it become abnormal? My virginity is due to lack of dates. I have never tried to date anyone, out of fear, and a self defeating attitude. Negative self talk that I am not worthy enough for anyone, and nobody would like me enough to want to be with me. I beat myself up with my own words every day. I am a miserable old and very lonely man, who went through my early years being beat by my non-loving mother, and grew up with some very horrible horrible problems... To be honest, nothing I have tried is helping me, and I do look forward to my own death for relief of this pain that envelopes me every day.  | |
|
| Still a virgin!?
Posted: 8/27/2006 8:25:28 PM | Sounds like you need a blog.
But seriously, you admittedly REALIZE your problems, and that YOU are continuing some of them, with bad self talk and being overcritical of your own image - that is NOT attractive or compelling to women - YOU have to work on yourself FIRST so YOU are okay with you, otherwise it won't matter who you're with, YOU won't be okay with THEM - I have learned this, and am learning this, from experience. Put energy and effort into forward progress, don't criticize yourself on your failures or lack, but credit yourself on your achievement and realize it CAN be done, regardless of your past - you are your OWN person and you've overcome so MUCH and can overcome so much MORE. I'm a virgin more or less by lack of dates as well but that doesn't mean I would intentionally lose it just because I was able to - I've had it this long, why the hell just throw it away now when I can at least save it for someone I trust and have it mean something to me. | |
|
| Still a virgin!?
Posted: 8/27/2006 9:28:01 PM | i wouldnt care as long as when it came down to crunch time that you werent all childish and scared and stuff (well you will be a little bit). Nothing turns a girl off more then a guy who isnt confident. So when you find your girl and decide to go for it, then be confident and just pretend like you know what your doing.
And if your girl is a virgin too then AWESOME!!!! | |
|
| Still a virgin!?
Posted: 8/28/2006 10:05:26 AM | Wow I thought I was strange waiting till I was 19. Of course in my case it wasn't due to any religious convictions or waiting for marriage, but a combination of not being suave in high school, and also the fact that you could get expelled for it probably didn't help. (Was a strict boarding school but that didn't stop some of the guys from getting some.)
At this point it really doesn't have any relevancy one way or another as to when I lost it, but at the time my sexual inexperience wasn't impressive with my first two girlfriends. Sure you can watch or read about it, but there's no substitute for doing it.
Probably not something the Christian gentlemen should worry over though, as they'll probably want to marry someone who hasn't been out having a lot of partners herself.
To those depressed guys, I have to say sex isn't as great as the whole media and culture make it out to be. I have to say I expected a religious experience as much as it's built up, and although masturbation is incomparable to it, its just not the end all and be all in life. For me being in a happy supportive relationship is far more important. Sex is something I could live without, but I sure don't think I could live for years without a woman. There's something about a good woman that makes my life fulfilling beyond what it can be when I'm alone.
But a bad relationship is overall probably worse than being single (depends on how bad I guess lol) so I hope none of you guys rush into anything.
Good luck to all. | |
|
| Still a virgin!?
Posted: 8/28/2006 11:52:55 AM | Actually, a 21 year old virgin is not that uncommon. About 25-45% of high school graduates are still virgins (depending on location). That number doesn't likely drop dramatically in only a few years.
I'd say, don't sweat it. | |
|
| Still a virgin!?
Posted: 8/28/2006 11:57:14 AM | | Hey man, there are no problems with that. I went through the same thing with some of my guy friends always teasing me and what not. I was a virgin until 21. Just think of it this way, being a virgin does not subtract from your personality at all. If anything, it shows females that you have a solid head on your shoulders. As some of the other users mentioned, it also is hard to stay "pure." | |
|
| Still a virgin!?
Posted: 8/28/2006 1:31:20 PM | It begins...
Don't worry about it, I'm a 56 year old virgin......... Yea, right, it could happen! Ha, ha! But sometimes I wish I were. I've never found a woman who was sexually worth the grief & losses I've gone through. It's a two-edged sword fella, with a very small handle.... i.e. the 'sword'. Keep it clean! More times than not you cut yourself on it. In a word, it's not what it's cracked up to be. The rumors of the ecstatic bliss are greatly exagerated. It's hard to obtain 'pure' honesty on this issue. Sometimes easier to be virginal pure physically than mentally I guess. Very few people want to admit it's not as good as the fables, or that they're not as good at it as they'd have you think. Then there's always the fact that simple minds are easily entertained. Most eventually bring it to the level of a visit to the bathroom. If they tolerate it at all it's like, 'okay, get it over with'. Not all women are into it at all... not all those who start out thinking they are will be for long. And then it's 'stand in the corner & hold yourself, wait & wish'. It can set up more pschychological problems than it solves. It's frought with unavoidable, unremovable paradoxes at every step & stage. One of them is that the genders are turned on at different speeds & by different things. Males are more visually stimulated, she might require more 'sweet nothings' whispered in her ear' (if you haven't pissed her off in some subtle way previously) & you don't even want to know 'how long' before she's going to be ready. We're at a disadvantage when she walks in the room with her feminine lines, secret unspoken promises of potential & 'movements that are poetry in motion'. You will start to resent how long she claims the right to remain 'naive'. The women on here are some of those even willing to speak in plain terms. Most want it to happen automatically by 'chemistry', but it won't, not many times in a row. That's only the high tide, the low tide is as inevitablly to follow, & stays as long. Men get so desperate they try to convince their women they'll incur some kind of physical harm if deprived, if she still cares. Not easy to turn back ten billion sperm & all that. Those who are turned off by religious principles will also be turned off by salvation, or heaven... not safe guides. There is actually a "stipulation" that should round off the edges, IF they are actually both 'believers' (I Cor. 7: 3-5).
The poet Ted Hughes (husband of Sylvia Plath) coined a phrase on this subject in one of his poems "technically treacherous". Any experienced, honest person doesn't have to have that explained to them. Even experienced people have trouble obtaining gratification at the same time. Some men don't have the stamina, self-control or even the philosophy to wait till the lady can arrive at climax. If he does, and holds as part of his philosophy that a major part of his joy is to give her as much passion as she's capable of experiencing, she will turn & become the one who's cares less about waiting around till he achieves his, sooner or later. That crap about faking it to get some sleep in the sit-coms is written from real life. After the novelty wears off it will be almost unheard of to achieve 'simultaneous anything", if you ever did... then people start mistaking 'Life problems for Love problems' & the fat lady's warming up her vocal cords. If you don't accidently stumble into a relationship with a woman of matching connvictions & depth, surviving the period of adjustment becomes less probable. The improbability of ending up with an inexperienced girl with enough imagination & bravery to satisfy you as gloriously as these people are picturing for the "first time/times" is stagering. Unless you get one of those born with no hymen... hopefully she will not have also been born without a clit... that also happens. Some have 'em, but you'll never find it. It is not a myth that some women never obtain an oragsm. The grief & psychological twisting in the mind of the man can become so severe he can cease to obtain his. Not a glorious picture. I'm only trying to give a full picture. It is not as 'casual' as what is in places being presented here, they are talking about the "isolated act" itself... it is never that. When you chose to trust someone that far... you are in essence vowing to trust their decisions in this very complex matter for the last ten years. And that is only in regard to whether they'll give you the life-canceling disease of AIDS, or one of the less major ones. Celibacy becomes less cruel.... suddenly. What a Blast! to recieve your "death blow" up your urethra!! and maybe as a virgin experience.
One of the things you have to try to avoid is looking forward with such unreasonable expectations that no real exprerience could ever live up to it... so that whatever it is disappointment will be the largest element. There's a line from a seventies song, "Yea, but she can't take you anywhere you don't already know how to go". She's only going to be another human physical being with all the limitations. On my honeymoon we were both virgins & I've suffered more from that over the years than she ever could have in that one night.
OK... ready? ..............all laugh!!! | |
|
| Still a virgin!?
Posted: 8/28/2006 1:35:57 PM | | I'm like a born again virgin, so don't sweat it. | |
|
| Still a virgin!?
Posted: 8/28/2006 2:09:01 PM | ^^^ o.o you can do that? SWEET! Gimme the directions on how to do it ;) gonna get a 'virgin' tattoo once I'm done.
Anyway, kudos to you bro for keeping your man cherry until you're married...just don't let the years fly by and you're the 40 year old virgin lol. Keep up the good work. | |
|
| Still a virgin!?
Posted: 8/31/2006 3:11:39 PM | | i know what you guys are going through the friends i used to have ragged me about it non stop im a 28 year old virgin ive had opertunity but i al ways felt like i was just using the girl so my conscience would not let me go through with it it is the hardest thing to have in this century | |
|
| Still a virgin!?
Posted: 8/31/2006 7:21:04 PM | | well it is very rare and very admirable and special and obviously you really care about the person you will have sex with and it is very nice to do that..i think you should wait. :) | |
|
| Still a virgin!?
Posted: 8/31/2006 9:34:27 PM | | I have a male friend that was married a virgin and he was 28! Being a virgin is great.. keep it as long as you can! | |
|
| Still a virgin!?
Posted: 9/1/2006 1:18:16 AM | I think its very sexy and a turn on. In fact, the older the guy, the sexier it is because it shows that guy has amazing strength and will power (assuming the guy chooses not to be sexually active and just isn't a virgin because he's lacked the opportunity to lose his virginity).
A long time ago, I thought I'd marry a guy that was a virgin, but as I got into my mid-20s, I realized that wasn't going to happen unless I robbed the cradle! 
I wish I could find a man as committed to his morals and ideals as I am, but unfortunately I haven't yet.
anyway. That's my two cents. | |
|
| Still a virgin!?
Posted: 9/1/2006 9:43:15 AM | Also there are three main types of virgins:
1)religious - *yawn*, no patience for that crap
2)choosy, careful, selective - why not, I would not think badly of such a case
3)lack of opportunity virgins, way WAY too fixated on sex and his futile pursuit - always feel ill at ease with these individuals. Seems their entire life force is directed toward that one narrow goal
You could add my type as the fourth, the asexual virgin. I've just never been interested enough in having sex to make an effort to stop being a virgin. | |
|
| Still a virgin!?
Posted: 9/1/2006 10:16:59 AM | | Thats more or less me as well - doesn't mean not interested in intimacy though. | |
|
| Still a virgin!?
Posted: 9/2/2006 12:16:17 AM | WOW I am a virgin too, and I am so happy to see I am not the only one. Probably the biggest urban legend is that there are no virgins left. Glad I saw both males and females here.
As for loosing your virginity? There is nothing as big as a turn off than someone who has some horrible disease or kids out of wedlock. So keep yourself pure until you are married.
God told us not to commit adultery for a reason. He is wise. | |
|
jerrod
|
Joined: 4/12/2006
Msg: 72 | |
| Still a virgin!?
Posted: 9/27/2006 9:22:35 PM | | I've like a lot of the sharins on this Thread. I am a 23 year old virgine, & my heart feels sick sometimes from lonlyness. I know I dont have the heart to have sex tile I'm married, & have strengthend that dechission sence starting studying & improving my-self just for my own benifite. I was inlove for manyears & after over 10 years of being in love but never getting to have Lisa I was really going to commite suicide! Falun Dafa is a meditational practice that has releved my suicidal dilema for the past 3 years, & after studying it to impove myself I am glad to still be alive sence I've learned Truthfulness Commpassion & Tolerance from FaluGong, but I still would like to find a partner. I just dont know how to find someone who can understand the way I need to be loved? I't hasent happend on this site yet, Though I dont have a picture up - the woman I've spoken to have a probwith my personalit - that is the virgine thing & my feelings seem to bother them & I feel worrid that when I put a pickture up they might be less frictchuss with me by not being so bad looking, but still wont except my, well I gess some of my needyness, & I probible need to much reacherence, just to honest. Thank You. | |
|
| Still a virgin!?
Posted: 9/27/2006 9:48:24 PM | | God is wise and beautiful. Be cool, be calm, do it at the right time for the right reasons with the right person. Don't let others lead you astray. And I will try to follow my own words. Because really a guy like you deserves more credit then most people on this planet. | |
|
| Still a virgin!?
Posted: 9/27/2006 10:50:13 PM | Man that is awesome you havent cashed in your V card yet. You dont ever get that back and half the population regrets losing their virginity anyway, so consider yourself lucky. Its an awesome thing, something to be proud of. So tell your friends to shove it.  | |
|
| Still a virgin!?
Posted: 9/28/2006 12:29:18 AM | Wow, I am soooo glad I am not the only one who is still is a virgin.
And I am actually surprised with all the encouragement, because I do know some girls find it a turnoff cause they have to teach instead of being taught.
But one thing has cross my mind over and over again. If I do just happen to cave into peer pressure, what would the girl be thinking?
Do they show you what you should and shouldn't do or will I won't even last that long to learn anything.
My friends are always saying, "Man you are gonna cum within a few minutes maybe less your first time around." And I watch 40year old virgin, and man I don't wanna end up like that. | |
|
Home
login 
