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| Why do women find sex on a first date so weird?
Posted: 9/16/2008 12:08:09 PM | | First date is just like a first interview rarely do they offer you a job after just one interview, these days they want to get to know you better. Sometimes there is enough chemistry that you just dont care if the guy is lying, and go for it. Other times you want to know he is for real and get to know him. Usually a guy isnt going to be honest and say he just wants sex because he thinks it wont happen, then the girl feels used when he drops off the face of the earth. Me, I say be honest on your intentions and let her make an informed decision. | |
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| Why do women find sex on a first date so weird?
Posted: 9/16/2008 12:38:18 PM | "seems like you get it - i don't like the sex on the first date - the other day against my better judgement - i did the sex on the first date and on our 2nd date - our third date didn't happen - i'm guessing because he knows all my secrets now including the fantastic 30 second oral trick i can do - so all of that energy was wasted on someone who didn't care about me - will i do it again? Hell, no."
You have sex for the wrong reason.
I guess your "30 second oral trick" secret isn't that fantastic as in your egomaniac mind. He didn't even care to come back for another round.  | |
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| Why do women find sex on a first date so weird?
Posted: 9/16/2008 4:14:36 PM |
Does society still shame women who surrender to sexual impulses? I thought we were past all that.
There is still that age old double standard, and every man with whom I have had a serious relationship said that although he would have had sex the first date, that he was happy that I didn't permit it. Personally, I think the only people who would disagree are those who are not seeking meaningful relationships. Easy in other words, but I am not using this word as an insult. I would love to see the end of the double standard!
So the question....why do women create this myth of emotinoal intimacy as a pre requisite for good sex?
Its' not a myth for many women. Because women generally need more time and effort to climax, its' important that they are comfortable enough with a man to communicate and demonstrate their needs. Furthermore, women are not the visual creatures that you men are. We don't generally get all hot and bothered by the sight of you naked. Oops...sorry! To demonstrate this, you may have noticed that while a man may fast forward to the raw sex in a porn flick, that a woman enjoys the storyline. It allows her to emotionally connect and share the fantasy.
"If the chemistry's there"........ is a euphanism for being horny. They're still a stranger.
And the anticipation will make the sex better!
Chicks don't put out on the first date, because if it was that easy to get it there would be more guys who didn't call back. Most girls have nothing else of worth to offer, so they have to hold the sex over a guys head to get him to stick around. That's all there is to it
So we put out and the guy doesn't call back, but...if we don't put out he may stick around and resent us for it? Nice...how does anyone win?
firstly it is not all nor most women who find sex on a first date so weird...it is only those who are simply not confident and secure in their own sexual experiences.
I would say that instead of lacking confidence and security, they are exhibiting patience, selectivity, caution, and their right to make a choice best for them.
Personally ... I seek a relationship with a man ... companionship ... building a life together ... developing trust between us. While I do indeed enjoy sex ... for me it's the icing on the cake and not my first or only priority for spending time with a man. quote] I would agree that is the reason many women don't have sex on a first date, but it is obvious that many people do not feel the same way. ....if you could have tons of sex with NEW men and/or women all the time and STILL have someone in your life who loved u with all his heart, wouldnt that be better? No! I don't want to share my lover, and whats' good for the goose is good for the gander! The religion issue is a valid one and definitely affected my sexual behavior for many years. I however, am in the process of seeking answers and one of those is that any bible is subject to broad interpretation and the rules that we have been given over generations may not apply. I am following my instincts and what works for me. Well I got to message 50 and unless I want to write a book, I will stop writing and continue reading. Interesting thread! | |
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| Why do women find sex on a first date so weird?
Posted: 9/16/2008 5:50:10 PM | Ok, I can't explain to you the mind of every female mind because everyone has their 'here and there'. I think it depends on every womens personal experiences. And in that case most women have been used and avoid that feeling again at all costs. They first want to feel appreciated and wanted not just once but again and again. And not ONLY for sex but for that certain male to learn just how marvelous they are blah blah blah. It's the romantic in us all. But then sometimes we just wanna get laid. I can say that if I am very attracted and feel strong chemistry with a person and vise versa, I would not hesitate in jumping their bones. First date sex can be fun for women when they feel like the guy is SO physically attractive to them that they are having a hard time sitting still but only as long as the feeling is mutual.
Next question is, how do you know when that woman is feeling the same thing. Wellllll....that's the part that sucks. Most women aren't forward enough to tell you that they want you that way, and they would be offended if you came out and said it. It's a like dancing on eggshells. It's bullshit but if you want it, be willing to tread lightly and with grace. If you have two left feet I can't help you.
So some advice...
You need to be charming and show your interest, give hints that you would like to have sex if she was ok with it. For example.... when looking across the dinner table, stare at her for a second after making eye contact and say "my god you don't even know how beautiful you are!" or "you are stunning", "natural beauty" etc etc. That will get her blushing and feeling that you appreciate her and really see her. TA DA. A step in the right direction. Then continue with charm, pay attention to what she says, and make sure to make EYE CONTACT. Even if she does have a great rack.
There, thats the best I can do for the time being. Hope that helped even in the slighest!
Kelly | |
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| Why do women find sex on a first date so weird?
Posted: 2/22/2009 2:20:34 AM |
So the question....why do women create this myth of emotinoal intimacy as a pre requisite for good sex? I don't really see it as a 'myth', at least not for myself. It's a very real - for me - perspective.
When I am intimate with a man, I can't help feeling as if there's more than just physical forms rolling around together: the extreme nature of such raw behaviour with someone demands, for me, that there be a supporting basis. I want it to exist within an established, committed relationship. I don't want to wake up alone after having allowed myself to touch and be touched that way.
My body isn't just my package, it's my visual identity and when I look in the mirror, I want to approve of it.
Having impersonal, non-committal sex (with someone who is clear that he decidedly does not want to plan to be my partner in life) is - for me - a cold, bleak and pointless act.
Basically, OP, if I'm attracted enough to a man to want to have sex with him, it's because he has appealed to me on every other level first: mental, emotional, etc .. so I wouldn't even be able to LIKE him if he didn't have lasting feelings for me. | |
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| Why do women find sex on a first date so weird?
Posted: 2/22/2009 3:37:23 AM | | the whole sex on a first date issue isnt always about meaningless sex , if 2 people fancy each other and there is chemistry then go for it ,times have changed and sex is fun 4 all not just 4 men anymore xx women shouldnt feel slutty at all its happening all the time any women who just lays there and spreads her legs 2 let the guy just go 4 it should mayb experiement a bit more herself if ur going 2 do it on a first nite goooooo 4 it yeeeeeeeeeehaaaaaaaaaaa ! | |
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| Why do women find sex on a first date so weird?
Posted: 2/22/2009 6:24:15 AM | Sex at any point should be mutual....wether recreational or for a more serious deeper meaning...problem is one or the other usually wear their heart on their sleeve and end up deeper than they should....communications the key here.....WE as adults should be able to talk....not in kiddy school any more....lol. | |
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| Why do women find sex on a first date so weird?
Posted: 2/22/2009 9:37:00 AM |
while a man may fast forward to the raw sex in a porn flick, that a woman enjoys the storyline. It allows her to emotionally connect and share the fantasy. It makes sense from a strictly biological angle:
The male likes to cut to the chase because he's wired to be the go-getter - aka hunter and provider - which means he needs the ability to act separately from his emotions; whereas the female bears the children so, as she is the newborn's first contact, she has to be the one who supplies bonding and security.
A man who wants a woman to be as detached about sex as he can be, essentially, is asking her to act and think like a man. Whatever turns ya on ... | |
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| Why do women find sex on a first date so weird?
Posted: 2/22/2009 9:38:13 AM | | Because women have a sweeter heart than you do-! For them, sex IS caring-! And how can anyone know anyone well enough on a first date to know if they care about them-? For you, sex is animal and mechanical. For them, it requres warmth and passion (which is what makes sex really hot anyway). Muster up some passion and act like you actually give a s--t, even if you don't. | |
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| Why do women find sex on a first date so weird?
Posted: 2/22/2009 10:02:50 AM | I find it weird because I generally consider a man to still be somewhat of a stranger on the first date. Obviously, that depends on the way our date came to be, but the typical two phone conversations and a dinner aren't even enough to bump someone up to "friend" status, much less anything else.
And I really don't enjoy sex unless I'm comfortable.
Knowing I'm not going to enjoy an encounter pretty much limits my desire for it. | |
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| Why do women find sex on a first date so weird?
Posted: 2/22/2009 12:11:31 PM | i do not find sex on a first date weird. if two adult people are so sexually attracted to each other than it is between them an as long as neither expects more than that as a result of the sex, no harm should be done. providin safety first issues are followed of course. | |
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| Why do women find sex on a first date so weird?
Posted: 2/22/2009 12:21:42 PM | | I found out that when she says that, that she will have sex on the first date. I don't know how many women have told me they don't and at the end of the night we are having sex. | |
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| Why do women find sex on a first date so weird?
Posted: 2/22/2009 6:00:22 PM | | Well, I wouldn't say it had to be meaningful, but even if I wanted to sleep with someone on the first date, I wouldn't. Just cause then I look bad, right? So, I tend to wait a few dates (the ole 3 date minimum...) before I drop him in the sack. LOL. If you know that is all he wants is sex, then that's your choice to continue. Some women like the emotions to go along with the sex- it's normal. I just want the man to get to know me first, if he genuinely likes me, then it's a sure thing! (sex) You don't have to be in LOVE with me, just a little respect, huh? | |
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| Why do women find sex on a first date so weird?
Posted: 2/22/2009 6:05:25 PM | Well, I wouldn't say it had to be meaningful, but even if I wanted to sleep with someone on the first date, I wouldn't. Just cause then I look bad, right? So, I tend to wait a few dates (the ole 3 date minimum...) before I drop him in the sack. LOL.
That's called game playing and manipulation. I'd rather date women who are secure and self-confident enough to do what they want to do and not care what other people think.
me first, if he genuinely likes me, then it's a sure thing! (sex) You don't have to be in LOVE with me, just a little respect, huh?
The problem is, that is the way to lose my respect.
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| Why do women find sex on a first date so weird?
Posted: 2/22/2009 6:09:41 PM |
A man who wants a woman to be as detached about sex as he can be, essentially, is asking her to act and think like a man.
That is fallacious thinking. I'm never detached, regardless of how long I've known someone. | |
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| Why do women find sex on a first date so weird?
Posted: 2/24/2009 2:59:23 AM | | I don't think it's game playing. I'm very secure to make my own choices, but I also know the reality of the consequences when I have slept with someone too soon. Seriously, for me it has been better to wait. | |
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| Why do women find sex on a first date so weird?
Posted: 2/24/2009 9:11:50 AM | That's called game playing and manipulation.
It's called self-preservation in a game men refuse to stop playing and most women want no part of.
Stop the game and we can make REAL decisions about when we want to sit on the bench or play for fun. | |
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| Why do women find sex on a first date so weird?
Posted: 2/24/2009 2:19:30 PM | Why do women find sex on a first date weird
"Weird" thats polite lol.
They find it weird because normally there is no 2nd date.
Abyway if one is keen and its a relationship they both want whats the hurry
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you are so busted! I can't believe you would post this with the screen name 
