| Why do women find sex on a first date so weird?
Posted: 7/29/2006 2:01:26 PM | But, Cotter....if you could have tons of sex with NEW men and/or women all the time and STILL have someone in your life who loved u with all his heart, wouldnt that be better? I'm not sorry to admit that the thought of that does not appeal to me in any way. Once I'm hooked on a man ... he's it. I can flirt with other men and actually that is a big part of my personality ... but find that when it comes to sex ... there is only one man I crave.
I guess I was one of the lucky ones (or was it my husband who got lucky?) ... maybe I keep the sex interesting (doing what comes naturally?) ... who knows. I was never bored with sex in my 22 year marriage and never turned into one of those "wives" that developed a 3-month headache or just wasn't in the mood, so my husband never complained either.
I have four children and all too often waiting until I was properly healed after each birth was not always easy! OUCH!!!!
just think about youir last 10 sexual fantasies. Did ANY of them involve your current partner? Again ... call me different if you will ... but I never had sexual fantasies with my husband that did not involve him. Although it was not always easy to get him to talk about such things ... I recall at one point he admitted that he never found it necessary to fantasize ... he said he didn't have time to think about it ... he was having too much fun with me and what we were up to!
For the reasons above ... I'm never asked to participate in "sexual" polls ... my answers always throw off the results so badly that it has a tendency to invalidate the polls ...
When I tell a man that he's probably never met another woman like me ... it's no lie. And when I say that ... it's actually not even from a "sexual perspective". Still waters run deep. There is so much more to me than most men ever realize when they first meet me. That's why it's so easy for me to think of the sex as the icing on the cake. It's not a priority even though I thoroughly enjoy it. | |
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| Why do women find sex on a first date so weird?
Posted: 7/29/2006 2:28:43 PM | You guys are the ones who make up the rules....look at the answers here.......guys think a woman who enjoys sex on the first date are whores......double standard.......if a guy is a whore, he is proud of it.......if a woman is branded with this title, she is devastated.....
Human nature being what it is......we all, male and female, have the same wants and needs....but the woman has been made to feel her wants and needs are somehow different then a mans.......soooooo antiquated..........but this idea still persists today...... | |
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| Why do women find sex on a first date so weird?
Posted: 7/29/2006 3:34:01 PM | Simple answer to that...men call themselves 'studs' not sluts...although its getting quite common now to call a man a slut here in England...Nothing wrong with sex on a 1st date if you feel that way inclined...personally I don't, but maybe on a 2nd date I do...but each to their own...you don't need commitment for sex ....plain lust on both parties works too  I was brought up very strict disciplinarian parents and sex before marriage was a definite no-no...but since being married a couple of times and being older (maybe not wiser) I changed my opinions and have had a few 'lovers' since...I brought my kids up to be respectful to girls but if they wanted sex to make sure they were 'careful' and use protection....each generation is more liberal than the last. | |
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| Why do women find sex on a first date so weird?
Posted: 7/29/2006 3:40:28 PM | singlesuzyq on 7/29/2006 8:11:38 AM
Its really too bad that you are too young to understand that a woman really has plenty more to offer of worth other than sex....ie try honesty, trust and respect for one another for starters. The way you put it makes it seem like women enjoy having control over a man with the leverage of sex.
Well if all a woman is going to give me is honesty, trust and respect then I am going to be moving on. I can get that from friends. What I cannot get from them is sex (nor would I want to)... And from my experience, every woman I have been with has used sex as a weapon to control what I did. If I PO'd them, they withheld it.. To get me to do things they promised it... and when I did something they liked they grudgingly allowed it...
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| Why do women find sex on a first date so weird?
Posted: 7/29/2006 4:17:21 PM | | Maybe they would feel used if they do that. The guy doesn't know them very well but wants to have sex with her as if she was just an object and not an actual person with feelings. If there's an emotional connection, then she knows the guy likes her total being and not just her body. Some women don't have a problem with this but then there's others who do. That's the way it is. | |
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| Why do women find sex on a first date so weird?
Posted: 7/29/2006 5:16:27 PM | | I think that alot of women think of sex as the beginning of a journey they want to be ready for as men think of it as the end to the chase and sexual fulfillment. Sexual fulfillment for many women means emotional and not just physical. Maybe women want to feel like they are worth being pursued and valued as a whole person and not just any hole will do. Havent any of you guys had a Saturday night date and while you are down there doing your thing wondered who was there the night before? I dont care to go down on my partner and wonder where "it" was the night before either. I have always felt a bit inhibited the first time i was intimate with someone and the real sexual being comes out later with a roar. I personally............want to roar! | |
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| Why do women find sex on a first date so weird?
Posted: 7/29/2006 5:46:41 PM | Why is it that some women think that if they hold out on sex all the way until the 10th or 20th date, that it would really make a difference. When men are in it for the Sex alone, believe me they're getting it somewhere in between. But when a man is truly taken by a women, he will think no less of her if they have sex on the 1st date or the 101st date.
Some of you are so stuck on this timetable about when the right time is. The right time is when you both feel it. No wrong, no right, it just is.. | |
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| Why do women find sex on a first date so weird?
Posted: 7/29/2006 6:15:22 PM | | its not a matter of holding out for sex...........its more a matter of just wanting to know someone better first for me......there is no number of date rule in my book. Im not saying that i have never had sex on the first date...........its just not my preference. | |
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| Why do women find sex on a first date so weird?
Posted: 7/29/2006 6:47:07 PM | Hey,
I guess what I'm saying here is that many women appear to be under the impression that if they hold out, that they will be liked more by the guy. All I'm saying is that if a guy is Not into you, and you hold out, he will be no more into you when you are ready. Guys that are simply into a women for sex and sex alone, won't care if you hold out or not. A women can stand on their head in the middle of the express way and still if a guy is not into you, that won't impress him much at all.
On the other hand, if a guy is seriously into a woman, #1 she will know it, and #2, she won't have to do back flips for him.
I guess this all goes back to just be who you are and do what you feel is right for you. | |
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| Why do women find sex on a first date so weird?
Posted: 7/29/2006 6:48:00 PM | Well many a ppl have commented from many aspects , but the heatedness and the argumentativeness i find makes for a good post. If it was all calm and sombre conversation i dont believe we'd have such a good post.
So to the piont, the women ive encountered (both sexually and non) have held for or against the appearances aspect , "OF I SLEPT WITH HIM ID BE A SLUT" those are subject to the perception of what others think. Sex on the first date based purely on mutual p[hysical attraction, been there, was great but the MUTUAL was the big part. Sex on the first date but phone or internet chat on going and having explored and found a mental attraction prior to meeting just intensified the experience, either or, both were great!
First , third or tenth date who makes the rules/laws of attraction. I have met girls who i felt incredably enticed and attracted to , yes on the first date a connection was made why not if it feels right, and if the connections there but she wants to wait, sure, but from personal experience ive found that comfort level has a lot to do with a womans intamacy, but less for most men. Then that opens up a whole new can of worms, to men are all dogs, and thats not case in fact, men (generally) require less comfort than women, and think of the great experience to be had as opposed to the aprenhensions of "WILL HE RESPECT ME IN THE MORNING"!
AND THATS ALL I HAVE TO SAY ABOUT THAT | |
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| Why do women find sex on a first date so weird?
Posted: 7/29/2006 7:01:29 PM | i might be wrong here but when you put so much limitations on what to expect and not expect then your loosing the meaning of how to have fun. Whatever happens, happens, if your really feeling it and do it on the first then so be it, if it wasnt clicking at first but did later on and you have sex, then so be it to, only people who arnt getting often are calling others names....so ive heard(read) hahahah.. | |
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| Why do women find sex on a first date so weird?
Posted: 7/29/2006 7:44:24 PM | Just wanted to ring in with a comment on that tired old "USED" phrase, that I've read an easy 10-15 times tonite.
We men keep hearing that women don't want to feel / don't want to be USED.
Hummm... Is it not so that - When I F*ck YOU, You are F*cking ME?
Wasn't that Gasp and Clinch an orgasm, or was I just fantasizing it?
I cum, You cum..... but *I'm* the one using You ????
If it weren't so silly sad, and so laughable it would raise my blood pressure  
A Word to the Wise is sufficient ......... | |
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| Why do women find sex on a first date so weird?
Posted: 7/29/2006 7:59:00 PM | riick,
Truthfully, I now am at a point in my life where I totally agree with you.
But here's how it is for most woman.
When a woman and a man are being intimate, usually a woman is feeling 50% sexually, and 50% with her heart strings. On the other hand, the man is generally feeling 100% sexually, so even tho they are both experiencing the joy of sex and both getting the end result cum, the woman somehow still feels used. See a man can easier have sex and yet keep his heart on the shelf. Where a woman, in most cases, cannot separate the two. Therefore, if a man doesn't feel for her what she feels for him or as deeply, she still feels used.
Make Sense? | |
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| Why do women find sex on a first date so weird?
Posted: 7/29/2006 8:05:57 PM | There are actually several reasons:
1. Women get used for sex a lot. There are so many guys out there who will say anything to get in a girls pants, then they usually do their thing and either take off or leave the chick in the wet spot. Sex isn't like pizza for women (even if it's kinda bad, it's still good).
2. Women are raised to believe that sex is something special between two people who love each other. It's hard for people to let go of their ideals
3. This is changing, but lots of women don't know how to get off, so sex is just sex. If you want sex on the first date, learn how to treat a woman and learn how to get her off. And find a woman who knows what she wants. | |
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| Why do women find sex on a first date so weird?
Posted: 7/29/2006 9:14:11 PM | Truthfully, I now am at a point in my life where I totally agree with you.
But here's how it is for most woman.
When a woman and a man are being intimate, usually a woman is feeling 50% sexually, and 50% with her heart strings. On the other hand, the man is generally feeling 100% sexually, so even tho they are both experiencing the joy of sex and both getting the end result cum, the woman somehow still feels used. See a man can easier have sex and yet keep his heart on the shelf. Where a woman, in most cases, cannot separate the two. Therefore, if a man doesn't feel for her what she feels for him or as deeply, she still feels used.
Make Sense?
Sure it makes sense - if you have a double standard about emotions.
That is - Women have 'em & experience them. ||| Men are emotionally like rocks.
When I met last SO's mother-in-law (For the curious, SO was widowed) noticed she never directed conversation toward me; as far as she was concerned Men coudn't hold a conversation unless on Football, Baseball, or Ford/Chevy/Plymouth. Hey, it was true of all the boys in her family - she'd raised them. Predjudice; bias; whatever you want to call it.
-- NOT THROWING STONES HERE:
"See a man can easier have sex and yet keep his heart on the shelf. Where a woman, in most cases, cannot separate the two. "
Old applicable saying is: "ALL generalizations are false, Including this one." | |
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| Why do women find sex on a first date so weird?
Posted: 7/29/2006 9:27:20 PM | Oh come on riick,
Of course I'm not speaking about all men, but it is well-known that a good many men have an easier time not letting sex rule their emotions. This is also true for a good many women.
Ok, maybe a good many of these guys can simply hide their emotions better. But for the most part, women, if they really like a guy can't hide their emotions as well. And once again, feel used. It's just the way it is. And I didn't make up the rules here. | |
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| Why do women find sex on a first date so weird?
Posted: 7/29/2006 10:06:27 PM | | I can't imagine how the third date could have some magic quality. If that connection is there I will know just as much on the first date as I do on the third. If it isn't there on the first, it won't be on the third (if there ever is a third). Not to say that you should have sex just because the connection is there, but if the timing feels right, both people feel ready to get naked......then go for it! | |
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| Why do women find sex on a first date so weird?
Posted: 7/29/2006 10:10:12 PM | Women shouldn't really have sex on the first date because it puts out the message you are a slut.
AND THERE YOU ARE. IT ONLY TAKES ONE MAN TO SAY IT AND IT BECOMES GOSPEL. FURTHERMORE, WE ARE CONVINCED THAT THE MEN WHO DON'T COME OUT AND ADMIT IT, DO SO WITH AN ALTERIOR MOTIVE...TO GET SEX.
The one guy who wouldn't think you are a slut if you slept with him on the first date, doesn't attempt it anyway. The man who pursue's you relentlessly until you are a quivering puddle of liquid in the palm of his hand is the FIRST one to dump you when you do.
Damned if you do, Fvcked if you don't. | |
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| Why do women find sex on a first date so weird?
Posted: 7/29/2006 10:19:09 PM | It isn't weirdness.......why do men find the need to have sex on the first date. I really think that women like the aspect of chemistry both physically and emotionally. When and if we do have sex on the first date we usually hate ourselves because we feel that we have shown a vulnerable side to ourselves, that includes some imperfections. Then we say %&*(^%T&( why did I *&*%&*(*( do that? That is why we think it is weird...also we think wow would my mother be impressed with me right now... | |
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| Why do women find sex on a first date so weird?
Posted: 7/29/2006 10:22:16 PM |
...also we think wow would my mother be impressed with me right now...
I have never had trouble with thoughts of my mother invading my sex life. I think that is a good thing. | |
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| Why do women find sex on a first date so weird?
Posted: 7/29/2006 10:24:09 PM | I don't think we find it werid so much as we find it undesirable because having sex on the first date almost always ends up as a one-night (or two-night) stand.
Then again I've had friends who have done that and gone on to have relationships with the person but that tends to be the exception and not the rule so to speak. | |
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| Why do women find sex on a first date so weird?
Posted: 7/29/2006 10:47:24 PM | I happen to be one of those people that have gone on to have a great relationship after a so called one nighter.
We met, we talked we had sex and 11 years, 2 beautiful kids and a mortgage later all is well.
I have also experienced women that have gone out with a guy only for the purpose of having sex. 1st, 2nd or 3rd date, does it really matter? I don't think you can classify a woman as a slut for wanting and enjoying sex. I mean how narrowminded and imature can someone be in todays society?
I think everyone needs to grow up and realize that what I do has no affect on somebody else's life and what they do doesn't affect mine. So why all the debat over something that has no meaning to anyone reading this thread.
We will all do what we feel is right and nothing anybody says will change that.
I guess for the OP, I have yet to find a woman that finds sex on the first date weird. We either have sex or the subject doesn't come up. So how do you really know if a woman finds it weird unless you bring up the subject somehow?? To me that is weirder than the sex on a first date.
Thanks for reading my rant.. | |
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| Why do women find sex on a first date so weird?
Posted: 7/30/2006 12:52:20 AM | Even in the posts that defend the practise of waiting forever for sex, I see the trappings of the pre Victorian mind.....
All during this discussion I cant help but hear the distant wailing of priests, rabbis, mullahs, monks and other religious fanatics telling us all that suffering is the answer.
Men with long robes and long staves....judging men, difficult to please men, men who kiddy diddle by night and preach abstinence by day.
I just cant help but see this twisted sexuality. Classical suppression.
Like its a massive social script for reproduction.
Maybe its just me. | |
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