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 kris1082
Joined: 5/23/2006
Msg: 51
speicalk9402Page 3 of 21    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21)
@specialk9402

Hi specialk,
You've changed your profile since I looked at it earlier. I like it, but one of the things I was going to suggest changing is your profession. You said (I think, unless I'm mixing you up with someone else) that you were going to school - can't remember what you were studying. But i would put either "student" or whatever your degree will be, under profession. So that guys know you aren't looking for a meal ticket.

I don't like this line
I am 5' 4", 220lbs(i did just have a baby a few months ago)
You really don't need to list your weight - you picture tells people what you look like - the rest is just numbers (and your height is up above). I'm not sure what the baby comment is supposed to indicate.


hit up D&B
Is this some local hang-out, that people would know about? If not, you might want to expand a bit.
 kris1082
Joined: 5/23/2006
Msg: 52
jesslynn
Posted: 8/5/2006 7:47:32 PM
Hi Jess,

You have great photos. I see you swapped your main one - I like both the current and the old one

I would reverse the order of your first 2 paragraphs. First, talk about yourself. Then about him. That will also make your last paragraph flow a bit better.

Other than that, I think you have a great profile. Good luck.
 Kwitjirbitjin
Joined: 7/3/2005
Msg: 53
view profile
History
speicalk9402
Posted: 8/5/2006 7:50:38 PM
D&B is Dave & Buster's, a national restaurant chain in the U.S. It's like Chuck E. Cheese for grownups. They have locations in about 15 - 20 different states.
 kris1082
Joined: 5/23/2006
Msg: 54
speicalk9402
Posted: 8/6/2006 5:04:56 PM
Thanks kwitjirbitjin. Learn something new every day. Another American institution that has not yet invaded the Great White North.
 kris1082
Joined: 5/23/2006
Msg: 55
mdl7070
Posted: 8/6/2006 5:05:41 PM
@mdl7070

I like your new headline. Good luck.
 Hookturn
Joined: 6/27/2006
Msg: 56
mdl7070
Posted: 8/7/2006 4:34:11 AM
Can you take a look at mine? Thanx
 kris1082
Joined: 5/23/2006
Msg: 57
mdl7070
Posted: 8/7/2006 3:16:24 PM
@hookturn

I love your profile. Honestly, I can't think of anything you should change. You have some great pictures, too. Good luck in your fishing.
 swineheart
Joined: 7/20/2006
Msg: 58
swineheart
Posted: 8/9/2006 10:26:50 PM
Thanks Kris. You are a classy lady. I've updated my profile to rid the blah stuff yet keep it deep....interesting...but still truthful. Thanks again! Good luck with your journey!!

Thankfully,

Swineheart
 freeman75
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 59
profile review
Posted: 8/10/2006 7:47:07 AM
Could do with your help I am not doing too good
 kris1082
Joined: 5/23/2006
Msg: 60
profile review
Posted: 8/10/2006 1:38:15 PM
@freeman75

Your pics need help. You main pic should be just you - don't leave us wondering which one you are (I know, your profile says, but at a glance no one can tell). Also, most of your pictures aren't even of people - you should lose the last 3 photos, and get some more of yourself - preferable alone.

Your profile should be positive in all ways. Negative statements, thoughts, leave people feeling negative about you.

Your opening isn't bad, in your "about me". I'd suggest removing this part
but then I'm fine
It's implied, and not really necessary to state - kind of breaks the flow of the first sentences.

This line comes across a bit negative
My job has unsociable hours so I dont get to go out and meet people as often as I would like.
and leaves me wondering how you will make time for someone. Sure, it's not a bad idea to mention if you work odd hours, but actually, that's probably best left for one of the first chats.

Everything from here on needs to be removed
I dont have many dislikes

No one is going to admit they have a bucketful of dislikes - and who in their right mind is going to like any of the things you listed? I think you are likely to get a few (un)read/deleted's just because you mention it :)

Having removed all that - your profile is now too short Sorry about that. You should go back and flesh out the rest. Tell us more about what you like to do, who you are. Is that you in the second pic? Surely that deserves a mention.

And the after "please rate my pic" makes it look like you don't really value their opinion, so I'd remove that.
 boobops
Joined: 6/14/2006
Msg: 61
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History
boobops
Posted: 8/10/2006 5:03:27 PM
thanks
Working on getting more pics of me, just dont have any, got millions of the kids. The profile name is kinda a nickname for my twins. I work on a boat for a month then have a month off which i spend a great deal of with my kids and they rub off a bit and i need constant reminders to not act like a kid sometimes. I tend to be a bit of one at heart but I agree that is not the best face to put forward.
 shy2guy
Joined: 12/26/2005
Msg: 62
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History
boobops
Posted: 8/10/2006 8:45:51 PM
I could use some help
 kris1082
Joined: 5/23/2006
Msg: 63
shy2guy
Posted: 8/11/2006 7:12:03 AM
@shy2guy

You need a positive profile, if you are going to attract attention. What you have right now reads low self-confidence, and expecting to be shot down.

Headline:

Looking to see if I've missed Mrs. Right

First, I hope you aren't looking for Mrs. anyone (that would imply she's already married, and should be off-limits to you). Suggesting you missed her is the first thing that said "low self-confidence" to me. You could use the old standby "Looking for Miss Right" (or Ms. Right). But that is SO overused. I think you need to come up with something different, something that says a bit about yourself, but is short and catchy.

Pic:
I like your picture. I suggets a couple more, showing you in some activities that you enjoy, but you have a good start here.

Marial Status:
It always confuses me to see "Single", then "Yes" under has children. I realize, this is fully possible - but if you are really separated or divorced, you are better to state that up front.

About me:
Way too short. - oh hold on, you missed Interests completely. Go back and fill out that box, with a list of some things (5-6) that you enjoy doing (kudos if they happen to be things a girl might like to do with you).

Now, expand on that first line.
Like to try lots of new things
What kind of things? Provide some examples - things you have tried (and enjoyed), things you still want to try (that she might do with you, maybe). Expand on some of the activites you like (you know, the ones you are going to list in your interests).


I just figured,
Says I'm not really interested but I thought I'd give this a fling for fun. Not the impression you want to put out there. Actually, this whole piece sucks - get rid of it, it serves no purpose except to make you sound like a loser.

First date:
You said "go for coffee twice" I thought at first you had forgotten to delete the second piece, when you wrote the first. Try to clean this up a bit, and make it 1 complete thought.
 Blue_Eyes25
Joined: 7/4/2006
Msg: 64
Profile Reviews offered
Posted: 8/11/2006 10:49:16 AM
Hey can u take a look at my profile??
 saucysarah
Joined: 3/7/2006
Msg: 65
Profile Reviews offered
Posted: 8/11/2006 11:04:22 AM
can you please take a peek at mine and let me know what you think??? thanks in advance!
 kris1082
Joined: 5/23/2006
Msg: 66
Blue Eyes25
Posted: 8/11/2006 2:48:32 PM
Hi Blue-eyes,

First, I love your picture. It is great. Would like to see more - of you, and not "the car that isn't yours".

You interest list looks good, although you may want to consider the double-meaning of the word "cheesecake", just in case the sexual innuendo was not what you had in mind.


From dictionary.com:

cheese┬Ěcake
n.
1. A cake made of sweetened cottage cheese or cream cheese, eggs, milk, sugar, and flavorings.
2. Informal. Photographs of minimally attired women.



I have been on here a couple of times now. I've met a few people, dated 2 guys I met on here. (Not at the same time tho! lol) Nothing really came of it. I got some new friends now tho. So I guess I'm looking for dating.

General profile rule: never mention other guys/dates/exes in your profile. Turns guys off. I'd take these lines out. You could say something like "I've been on here before - made some new friends, but now I'm looking for dating"


I do have a 3 yr old son, who is the love of my life right now. I'm not looking for a father for my son he already has on.
Lovely sentiment, but *everyone* says this. "the center of my world" "not looking for a dad", blah, blah. You want to stand out. Find another way to mention your son - in passing. People will know, once they know you have a 3 year old, that you adore him.

The stuff about school - that's cool. Tells us a bit about you. But I'd like to see more. Outside of school and your son, what do you do? Ok, the next paragraph covers that - but do you have any outside interests, that you might like to explore with a new guy? Talk about them.


I never get a romantic guy!
Breaks 2 rules - you mention another guy, and it's negative. Get rid of this line.


well if ya wanna know anymore, you'll have to find a way now wont you.
I like this - you sound fun and playful. But that doesn't come across anywhere else in your profile. If this is the real you, you need to let it out in the rest of this section too.
 kris1082
Joined: 5/23/2006
Msg: 67
saucysarah
Posted: 8/11/2006 3:00:08 PM
Hi Sarah,

I love what your profile has to say. I wouldn't change the content, except to remove the first line
ok so i figure i will simplify this to the best of my ability
It really isn't needed. And I think there's a comma missing in your interests list, between "my family" and "GOLF"

BUT, I hate reading profiles that don't follow basic grammar, and sentence structure rules. The "shift" key is your friend. You are important, and deserve a capital "I" in all cases. I"m sure your keyboard has a period (I ran out of breath reading your profile).

If you are really stuck, I've been known to email a grammatically correct version, if asked nicely


Your headline says "sexy single mommy!!!" ("sexy single momma!" might be better?) But your pics don't support it. Where's the sexy picture? Too many pictures of you with someone else (especially with THAT GUY - what is he doing in your profile?). Get a friend to help you take some pictures of you alone, and see if at least one of them can show off that sexy side you allude to (sexy doesn't have to mean immodest).
 saucysarah
Joined: 3/7/2006
Msg: 68
Profile Reviews offered
Posted: 8/11/2006 3:39:01 PM
Thanks very much, I have already started on the changes. But in my defense the guy in the pic is my gay best friend Adam!
 jeremye
Joined: 8/5/2006
Msg: 69
view profile
History
Profile Reviews offered
Posted: 8/11/2006 4:15:57 PM
Hi can you take a look at mine as well and add in suggestions plz?
 freeman75
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 70
profile review
Posted: 8/11/2006 4:55:39 PM
thanks I will have a play with it
 kris1082
Joined: 5/23/2006
Msg: 71
jeremye
Posted: 8/11/2006 5:05:30 PM
Not much for me to go on there. I guess my first suggestion would be - you need more info!

So let's start at the top:

Headline:
Not bad. Not stellar, but it's OK - and without more information, I can't really suggest any change here

Pics:
Not bad, at least it shows your face, and what you look like. Bonus, in that it shows enough of you, that we don't doubt your "average" rating for body type. But you need to get some more. Preferably some action/outdoor shots, not posed in your basement.

General Info:
Good, you haven't used the dreaded "Prefer not to say". But you really should put something in your profession - seems to be a sticking point for a lot of women.

Interests:
This should be a comma-separated list of various interests. The sentence you have there doesn't really cut it - I don't think "hanging out" is an interest. Although can 4 pages of matches be wrong? But you need to flesh this out. You say you love the outdoors - so list some of the outdoor activities you like.

About me:
Way too short. This really doesn't tell me anything about you.

Love the outdoors and computers.
This is the only sentence worth keeping - and it needs to be expanded a lot. The rest needs to go. The opening is just junk, that you don't need to bother with. And the ending is negative and depressing "rejoin the world of life"? Join it already, and tell us what you are doing now. This sounds like you still aren't over your divorce.

First Date:
Can you be any more wishy-washy? This is (in my opinion) your "ideal" first date. Doesn't mean it's the only option you would ever entertain, or that you wouldn't adjust based on someone's preferences. But tell us what you would do, assuming the person you were with would love whatever it is.

However, it's not all bad - some people already like you.
Appears on 2 members favorites lists
Good luck.
 Blue_Eyes25
Joined: 7/4/2006
Msg: 72
jeremye
Posted: 8/11/2006 6:18:34 PM
Hey Kris! Thanx for the advice!
 munseahawk
Joined: 7/3/2006
Msg: 73
view profile
History
Profile Reviews offered
Posted: 8/11/2006 6:26:40 PM
I wouldn't mind some feedback on my profile. I'd appreciate it if you contacted me directly rather than posting the feedback here.
 kris1082
Joined: 5/23/2006
Msg: 74
munseahawk
Posted: 8/12/2006 8:52:04 AM
Well, normally I wouldn't. But seeing as your from my old university stomping grounds, I think I can make an exception :)

*EDIT*
Unfortunately, I can't message you, due to location restrictions in your mail settings. So, I can do the review here if you like, but email doesn't seem to be an option. Let me know if you still want a review
 munseahawk
Joined: 7/3/2006
Msg: 75
view profile
History
munseahawk
Posted: 8/12/2006 12:07:28 PM
I think I've made the right changes on the mail settings. If it doesn't work, then posting it here would be fine.
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