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 happyhobbit
Joined: 9/7/2005
Msg: 76
munseahawkPage 4 of 21    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21)
pick me pick me! =)
 jp0099
Joined: 6/23/2006
Msg: 77
Please review mine
Posted: 8/12/2006 2:12:28 PM
Hi, I like the advice you are giving. Can you please have a look at my profile and let me know what you think.

Thanks
 kris1082
Joined: 5/23/2006
Msg: 78
happyhobbit
Posted: 8/12/2006 3:03:39 PM
Hi Frodo :)

I like your profile. Usually, I say "No negatives" - but you have done a great job, and I wouldn't change it.

I like your name, and your headline goes well with it.

I would make a minor adjustment:

Remove "sex" from your interests list. We know, guys are all interested in sex. Putting it there, made me go back and double check that your weren't looking for an intimate encounter. If you truly want long-term, this will hurt your chances.

Oh, a couple additional pictures would be nice, too.


I've never met a steel rollercoaster that I couldn't ride.

pick me pick me! =) I love rollercoasters.


LOL. Good luck.

Krista
 kris1082
Joined: 5/23/2006
Msg: 79
Please review mine
Posted: 8/12/2006 3:17:30 PM
@jp0099

Very strange. You have a picture in your profile, but it's not showing up in the forums. Maybe it's a caching problem on my end.


I am looking for a sweet and beautiful lady

I don't actually think you intend to make a value judgement here, and say you only want "beautiful" ladies to apply. But that's the impression I got - and since beauty is in the eye of the beholder, I think you should modifiy this a bit.


I have a 4 year old daugther that lives with me and she is the light of my life, so anyone that wants to hang out with me, will have to include her sometimes, after we get to know each other.

Over half your profile is about your daughter. It's great that you are an involved Dad, but you need to balance this message with more about yourself (I'm sure there's more to you than just your daughter). Also, I'd remove the second part of the above quote. Just stop after "light of my life" - I think most people can figure out the rest.


a very fun man

2 issues with this. I keep reading it as "funny man" - a bit different than what you are saying I think. Plus, if you are that much fun, it sure doesn't come across in your profile. Add some details about things you like to do, and how you spend your free time. Show us how much fun you are.

Interests:
You skipped this completely, and I consider it a fairly important part of any profile. I think you should try to come up with 4-5 things you can list here.

First Date:

I will let this wait until we talk.
This is a cop-out. You've said it depends on what you have in common - now give an example. It's not cast in stone, it's just a peak into who you are and how you see a first date.

You have a good picture - could do with a couple more, however.

Hope you still like my advice :) Good luck.
 sadistic-smile
Joined: 2/15/2006
Msg: 80
Profile Reviews offered
Posted: 8/12/2006 5:00:33 PM
May I please have a profile review?
 kris1082
Joined: 5/23/2006
Msg: 81
sadistic-smile
Posted: 8/12/2006 6:17:11 PM
Overall, I like your profile. It flows nicely, and definitely shows your personality. I didn't get a good feel for exactly what you are looking for, but I think you'll probably attract guys who can deal with who you are (assuming they actually read your profile).

I am a bit confused however. You said you are looking for Dating, mail restrictions say Must not be looking for Intimate Encounter. But you have put "Boob Fondeler" as your profession?? This is confusing, and contradictory to me (plus, you spelled Fondler wrong).

For your pictures - your name is "sadistic-smile". But you aren't smiling (sadistically or otherwise) in any of your pictures, really. You come close in the last one - but what is that in the corner of your mouth? I don't see evidence of a piercing in any other pic, but that's what it looks like.
 sau cee
Joined: 9/22/2005
Msg: 82
Profile Reviews offered
Posted: 8/12/2006 6:21:37 PM
Hi there. I'd love some advice! Can't hurt right?
 saucysarah
Joined: 3/7/2006
Msg: 83
Profile Reviews offered
Posted: 8/12/2006 9:30:29 PM
Krista:
Thanks a million for your advice, it worked amazingly! I have recieved at tremendous response since I have changed my profile! Listen to this lady folks, her advice is amazing!!!!
 bobby7
Joined: 3/22/2006
Msg: 84
sadistic-smile
Posted: 8/12/2006 9:43:00 PM
Hello, Kris..

If you find the time, I would like your assessment of my profile, please..

Have a good evening and a better day tomorrow...

Bob
 _LittleWriter_
Joined: 6/26/2006
Msg: 85
my profile
Posted: 8/12/2006 10:02:28 PM
I have never asked anyone to review my profile yet because I was still pretty new. But I have just changed it and updated it tonight. I'm hoping it will scare the creeps away and attract the more intelligent men. Think it worked? Just curious. Maybe my sense of humor is too try. We shall see..lol
 lady_502
Joined: 10/8/2005
Msg: 86
my profile
Posted: 8/12/2006 10:09:06 PM
i think this is a very funny thread, i mean come on people, have confidence in yourselves, you know who you are , not some forum dear abby! sheesh!

im sorry but it seems that these days people are too willing to let someone else dictate what they should be.
 _LittleWriter_
Joined: 6/26/2006
Msg: 87
my profile
Posted: 8/12/2006 10:28:21 PM
I just think it's more of a curiosity thing. I can only speak for myself, but I wouldn't ask someone to look at my profile because of any lack of confidence. I am a confident woman who knows her flaws, her qualities, her likes and dislikes. However, I like to know how people think and why they think it. Sometimes it's nice to know how another person feels about things.
 kris1082
Joined: 5/23/2006
Msg: 88
my profile
Posted: 8/13/2006 5:37:29 AM

people are too willing to let someone else dictate what they should be
None of these profile review threads are about dictating what someone should be. It's about helping people. I received some great advice on my profile from people on the forum, and I enjoy trying to help others with a few suggestions.
 kris1082
Joined: 5/23/2006
Msg: 89
sau cee
Posted: 8/13/2006 5:47:54 AM
I love your pictures. The only thing I could ask for, is to throw in a 1 or 2 of you doing somethig active. You pics are great, but if you could replace #3 & 4 (they aren't as clear as the others) with pictures of you doing something you love, I think that might generate even more interest.

I like the way you've written your profile. Different, and short enough to be catchy. Just a couple things I'd change:


Honesty…I don’t tolerate anyone that can’t be straight up with me.

I appreciate the sentiment, but the "don't tolerate" sounds rigid - it kind of carries into my overall impression of you (which I'm sure isn't the truth). Maybe reword that in a more positive light "Honesty...the cornerstone of any relationship" - you can do better, I'm sure, but you get my drift.


but I’ve learned that most men have a short attention span for reading these things
Yes, we've been told that many times. But do guys really want it thrown in their face? Might do you more harm than good.

I love your ending to the "about me section".

You 1st date is, as many have said to guys, a cop-out. Plus, the word is "pique", not "peak".

Personally, I think your interest list is a bit long. You might want to remove some of the items that would be of less interest to most guys: romance, honesty (that's an "interest"? More of a feature you want to see), FUN (too generic anyway), just about anything (ditto).
Remember the short attention span :)
 kris1082
Joined: 5/23/2006
Msg: 90
bobby7
Posted: 8/13/2006 9:22:09 AM
Bob,
I think you have a reasonable start on your profile. But it's too long. There are a few obvious candidates for removal, and a few not-so-obvious.


I am fishing for a lady with an athletic to average build.
I do not respond to POF'ers who do not post a photo.
I have numerous tattoos.
I am a smoker.

OK, you are up-front and honest about what you are looking for. But unless you've had a lot of trouble with emails from people you just aren't interested in, I'd move most of this to the end, or even remove some of them. And no need to re-state that you smoke - it's up above. And if you feel it necessary to keep the line about photos, try to rephrase it in a less negative way "Please have a photo on your profile, if you email me"

I would remove all of this:

I am recently divorced, and would like to meet a 'drug free' lady...

I was a faithful and loving husband to my late wife for 30 years,
and, to the wife I recently divorced.

I am a very active person, mentally and physically.

I am slightly diabetic; as yet, I do not need injections, just
a proper diet.

I am not a couch potato; I exercise regularly

I am 5' 9" and weigh 170 lbs.
It breaks the basic rule about not mentioning past relationships in your profile, provides more information than is needed up front (diabetic) and repeats info (5'9")


Also remove
I do not enjoy: Televised Hockey,
Baseball, Soccer, Basketball, and really dislike Golf . I do, however,
enjoy live sporting events, ie: all the above. (except Basketball and Golf)

I detest 'Rap' and 'Boom Cars'.
It's negative, and doesn't really add to your profile. How many women in the age range you are looking for are going to love "rap" and "boom cars"?


I am not a very good dancer; in fact, I am a terrible dancer.
So, if you don't mind that I might get laughed at; Wanna Dance?
I love this line :)


First date section isn't bad, but I'd remove
We can discuss whatever my companion/date feels comfortable with.

I am easily approachable, and, once committed, I am there...
For better or for worse.

If these attributes interest you, you might want to ring my bell.

I have posted recent photos of myself. Be they flattering or
otherwise;

That is what I look like.
It detracts from the rest of what you said here, and doesn't really add anything useful.
 kris1082
Joined: 5/23/2006
Msg: 91
_LittleWriter_
Posted: 8/13/2006 9:57:47 AM
@LittleWriter


I'm hoping it will scare the creeps away and attract the more intelligent men

I don't know about scaring creeps away, but I think you might attract some intelligence with this profile. Problem with the creeps is, they don't tend to look past the picture.

I don't see any obvious negatives to your profile. It's different - I really don't know if the latin quotes will attract anyone, or are just too much (I tend to lean towards "a bit too much" - maybe just include a couple, instead).

Other than that - I wish you luck. And I expect you will have to get used to using the block/delete key to avoid the creeps.
 jeremye
Joined: 8/5/2006
Msg: 92
view profile
History
jeremye
Posted: 8/15/2006 1:05:22 PM
Ok I've reworked it a bit, just haven't gotten a chance to add anymore photos. Thanks for some of the tips and more would be appreciated.
 bigpapi1976
Joined: 2/10/2006
Msg: 93
Profile Reviews offered
Posted: 8/15/2006 1:29:26 PM
I personaly like my profile, keep updating it and have gotten favourable reviews from people who have messaged me. Up for an objective review! How bout it?
 davejp84
Joined: 4/29/2006
Msg: 94
view profile
History
Profile Reviews offered
Posted: 8/15/2006 2:31:57 PM
yeh spose i could.....is there too much detail?..not enough or?..?..
 DK 36
Joined: 7/11/2006
Msg: 95
Profile Reviews offered
Posted: 8/15/2006 2:43:21 PM
okay rip it burn it trash it. Be gentle.lol
 kris1082
Joined: 5/23/2006
Msg: 96
jeremye
Posted: 8/15/2006 4:15:02 PM
jeremye,

This is looking much better. There are just 2 lines I don't like in it:


I a very easy going laid back guy.
Ignoring the typo/grammar error, every one and his brother is "an easy going laid back guy" on this site. It's not going to get you noticed. I'd drop that, and just start with your next sentence (and correct the typo on "many" - oh, and it's "fanatic").


for me the pay off is the 2nd date to see how well the person paid attention to detials from the first
This start off well, but the ending feels more like you are going to test me on the second date, to make sure I was paying attention. Not the kind of attitude I'd go for, and I don't think it's realy the one you wanted to put across. Maybe try something more along the lines of "for me the pay off is the 2nd date, when we aren't so nervous and the real person can show through"

I really like this:

I'll take some Bad Company AC/DC over anything.
It sounds natural, and like we're really getting a glimpse of the real you.
 kris1082
Joined: 5/23/2006
Msg: 97
bigpapi1976
Posted: 8/15/2006 4:36:42 PM
@bigpapi

Well, since you've been getting favourable reviews in messages, perhaps it's working for you. But I have to say it's not one of my favourite profiles. I think it's too long, and you keep referring to your last version (which I and probably most of the people reading it never saw).

I can't really pinpoint specific sections that I like/dislike, or suggest you change. It's more about impressions in this case. First, I'd take all the mentions of your previous profile out - reword it without the refernce to what you had before, like "I still stand by the comparison to ..." could be something like "I've been compared to ...." There are a few places like that - plus your first paragraph could probably be dropped.

The advice to "women looking for their superhunk" - I don't think it adds much. I can't really say it's negative, because you do appear to be saying it in good humour. But I'd take it out, I think. Face it, those ladies probably didn't get this far, anyway.

The side bars are kind of funny - I'd keep those (although, I'm sorry to say you are down to a 7)

Your "first date" started out well. But then it got kind of ....I don't know. Creepy isn't quite the right word. But you seem to be expecting a lot from a first date - 4 stages, most of a day. Seemed like overkill to me.
 bigpapi1976
Joined: 2/10/2006
Msg: 98
bigpapi1976
Posted: 8/15/2006 7:21:45 PM
The whole profile is basically all about humour, but that's who I am. I agree with the reference to the past profile, but that was to create a "line" for people whom I talk with and enjoyed the first profile. For new readers, this would have no relavance! The side bars, I know, haven't updated that yet! The first date being too long...that I would question because when everything goes well on a first date, it WILL BE a day long experience. (Why would you want to end a good thing!) I thank you for the review! I will, however be changing it soon (hopefully) cause I have met someone of whom may make the need for the profile, and selling myself, null and void! (Fingers crossed!) GL to everyone!!!
 HopefulCynic
Joined: 8/3/2006
Msg: 99
view profile
History
Profile Reviews offered
Posted: 8/15/2006 7:35:58 PM
I would appreciate any input you may have on my profile.
 matches27
Joined: 10/12/2005
Msg: 100
my profile
Posted: 8/15/2006 10:34:13 PM
would someone plese rate my profile i dont know what im doing wrong..maybe im too nice..sheesh!! some suggestions would be aprreciated
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