| Parental Sayings....
Posted: 2/27/2007 7:45:50 PM | I remember my father telling me once, "you talk like a guy with a paper ***hole!".....I should have asked him what the hell he meant by that?....to this day, I have no clue!
I also heard things like, "you're going to get what's coming to you someday!"......I wonder if they were referring to the divorce lawyers who took my home and life savings?
Some other sayings......."son, never piss into the wind!"......naturally, I had to test that one!
"Always use your head for more than a hat rack!".......
"Keep your pecker in your pants, it will only cause you nothing but trouble!".....uh huh!
You know what, I don't think I've been very good at listening to advice in my life!  | |
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| Parental Sayings....
Posted: 2/28/2007 6:34:45 AM | Read through the entire thread this morning after posting a few past parental sayings last night. The posts on here brought back memories of many sayings I recall as a child. Wish I had a photographic memory or a written list of all the sayings I ever heard. I know there were many "always do this" and "never do thats"....."do's and don'ts". Just start in any room in the house and the sayings probably start coming back to you.
Many an instruction in the bathroom from my father:
Hey, clean the damn bathtub when you are finished taking a bath.
When you going to learn to pick up the toilet seat when you take a piss?
Think I'm made of money? Turn off the hot water faucet!
Don't squeeze the toothpaste tube from the middle.
on and on and on.......
More of my fathers sayings......
Don't get your bowels in an uproar!
You're as useless as tits on a bull.
If you had half a brain, you'd be danngerous!
Never piss into the wind.
You talk like a guy with a paper a**hole!
Use your head for more than a hat rack.
If brains were gun powder, you couldn't blow your nose!
You don't know your a** from a hole in the ground.
The squeaky wheel gets the grease.
Do you think I'm made of money?
I don't give a tinker's damn.
You could screw up a two car funeral.
Hold your horses!
I'd rather be pissed off, than pissed on!
That's the way the cookie crumbles.
It's a dog eat dog world.
You don't have enough sense to come in out of the rain
You're headed for the Blue Balls Hall of Fame!
Sayings I recall my mother using..........
Many hands make light work.
You can't judge a book by its cover.
Where there's a will, there's a way.
Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise.
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again!
Don't count your chickens before they're hatched.
An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.
Talk only if you can improve on the silence.
Believe in yourself! | |
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| Parental Sayings....
Posted: 2/28/2007 3:58:09 PM | When I was in high school and would ask my mother for money, she would always say "Do you thuink we have a money tree in the backyard?"
My favorite came from my best friend's mother. We were in junior high and my friend asked her mother if I could stay over. Her mother said no and as we were dejectedly walking out the door, my friend muttered "she makes me sick". My friend's mother heard her and replied, "The feeling's mutual". | |
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NateC
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Joined: 4/10/2006
Msg: 54 | |
| Parental Sayings....
Posted: 2/28/2007 5:41:54 PM | My dad really didn't have very many sayings, he just said things how they were; cryptic messages weren't something he was fond of.
My mom on the other hand, had at one choice saying though:
"You're driving me meshuggenah!" | |
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| Parental Sayings....
Posted: 3/1/2007 7:19:04 PM | | I constantly heard "There are starving kids in India". I made the mistake once of telling my parents they could send them my food. | |
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| Parental Sayings....
Posted: 3/1/2007 11:58:06 PM | Theres only one or two thing thats ring in my mind since i was raised by only my mom...
she would say..
THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK!!! yelling it at me everytime I said something the wrong way to this day everytime i go to say something i can hear her yelling at me like shes right next to me...
But the scariest ive ever seen her do is get real close to my face teeth clenched and look at me like shes going to kill me!!!! she definately still has the fear of god placed on her in my eyes....
I like to call it respect... love her to death...
but something funny....
when i was little I remember fighting with my younger brothers all the time and id run complaining to my mom.... she would look at me and say nothing then look away and one day when i was twelve she said do something about it... I farted on his face and both of them never touched me again... but they did say "im telling on mom" they were real little and i being five yrs older said " go ahead im not the one getting in trouble" theyd get so upset over that that they would cry and call me a stupid idiot faggot retard!!! lol!!!!
Oh and one other thing.... you know how when your little you run to tell something to your mom whos either on the phone or doing something important and you run up saying "mom mom mom mom MOM MOM!!!" and she finally yells angrily "WHAT!!!!?!?!?!?!" and you say nevermind.. I hope that doesnt happen with my own kids! lol imagine how annoying!? | |
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| Parental Sayings....
Posted: 3/2/2007 12:03:15 AM | My favorite since I have a two year old... Is parents spend the first two years telling their children to walk and talk and then spend the remaining 16 years telling them to sit down and shut up.... I was always curious as to (what the hell mom. make up your mind)
until I had a child of my own and now I feel the same | |
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| Parental Sayings....
Posted: 3/4/2007 2:45:57 AM | Whenever I would say "I wish"....
My mother would always say...."Wish in one hand, and shit in the other, and see which one gets full the fastest!! | |
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| Parental Sayings....
Posted: 3/4/2007 7:36:25 AM | I'm sure everyone's heard this one, my mom uses it all the time;
"Life's a **** and so am I." | |
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| Parental Sayings....
Posted: 3/4/2007 11:39:48 PM | My use to use "Don't let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya"
Don't make me come in there and you always knew that meant she was on her way.
The two that I use with my kids are:
When they come running with a little scratch that you know hurts a little but if you make a big deal out of it is going to hurt for days is either:
It is too far away from your heart to kill ya
Or when they fall down
Get up you are ok. ( knowing they think they just broke a leg or a arm or something) | |
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| Parental Sayings....
Posted: 3/12/2007 2:56:24 PM | I was very young then...
My mother would say, in a very authorative voice, when I would not behave...
"Honey, I put you in this world and I can take you back where you came from!!!"
I realy believed her... I had no idea where I'd go but just by the tone of her voice... It seemed like such a bad place!!!  | |
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J0rdan
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Joined: 11/20/2006
Msg: 63 | |
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J0rdan
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Joined: 11/20/2006
Msg: 64 | |
| Parental Sayings....
Posted: 3/12/2007 3:33:25 PM | | oh man, my mom used to say when are you going to it through your thick skull....yaddah, yaddah yada. | |
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| Parental Sayings....
Posted: 3/12/2007 3:48:26 PM | "Don't sit so close to the Television you'll go blind"
"The Burnt Toast is good for your blood"
"To much Candy will stunt your growth"(Damn wish that were true LOL)
"Look me In The Eye"
"I have eyes in the back on my head" (I always thuoght that true) LOL
"I hope you have kids someday just like you!" | |
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| Parental Sayings....
Posted: 3/12/2007 3:52:25 PM | Oh I forgot the best one My Mother always said,. When making me do dishes,. "Put some elboe grease into that!"
Or If I said I was bored "You bored I can find something for you to do!"
If I whined "Want something too cry about?"(Back in the days where it was legal too dicipline your kid,. LOL | |
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| Parental Sayings....
Posted: 3/12/2007 6:13:36 PM | my parents would usually say to me if i was being a real naughty little brat..
"if you dont f|_|cking behave, i'll take you to the Naughty Boys home where you will never see me again"
always made me crap my pants of having these "wicked old witches" restraining me to be bored for the rest of my life lol.
The only thing i can think of that i say to my daughter that my mum used to say to me was:
"DONT YOU DARE!!" which back then when i finally grew the balls to reply back with "i double dare you"... damn i had a bruised butt for a week i swear lol.
The other thing that my dad got from his father was, "dont make me use the belt on you" which once i actually annoyed him so much i almost did actually have it until my mum intruded
oh yes!! almost forgot the classical one from my mum "i'll put soap in your mouth if you swear again you little shit" lmfao loved that one until the day i did actually get the soap.
The other one my mum used to say to me was "i'll smack your bum!!"... i say it to my daughter but the cheeky little monkey just points at her bum, faces me with a cheeky smile like as if to say "i dare ya". Unfortunately i love her cheeky smile so i have to then chase her | |
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| Parental Sayings....
Posted: 3/13/2007 1:38:01 PM | my dad use to always say "do u think im stupid"......and i use to wanna say soooo bad "yes i do think ur stupid".....cuz if i didnt u wouldnt have to ask that question everytime.....lol....
my mom use to say "you must be outta your cotton pickin mind"....and one day i said to her....."my mind has never picked cotton...so come again"...she slapped the shyt outta me....
how about "are u crazy".....i use 2 wanna say "NO.....are you"..... | |
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| Parental Sayings....
Posted: 3/13/2007 9:42:06 PM | [quote}
and as my step son has finished that quote with "then it becomes a sport" | |
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| Parental Sayings....
Posted: 3/14/2007 6:54:13 AM | If you fall out of that tree, and Break Both of your Legs,Don't come Running To me lol
I'd make you smile on the other side of your face in a minute.
Get up the Wooden Hills ( Stairs )
You can grow spuds in those Ears
Tim | |
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| Parental Sayings....
Posted: 3/14/2007 10:08:17 AM | | "When I was your age I had to walk for miles up hill both ways to school!" | |
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| Parental Sayings....
Posted: 3/14/2007 4:12:23 PM | i also remember my dad saying to me (and still does)
"i was never bad, not once, i was a angel"
then you hear my mum in the background saying "f|_|cking liar" | |
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| Parental Sayings....
Posted: 3/15/2007 8:07:11 AM | I just had a flash back from my Dad...
When I would wine... basically used up all my charm tools to manipulate my Dad and it did not work... (He would always have a "cute" grin...)
Anyway...
"Young lady, everything is fair in love and war... When there is blood it becomes as sport!!! Now, put on your Sunday behaviour !!!"... Then, he would wink at me...
We both understood that this was our secret to make my Mom believe that he did his part in parenting me... (I am not sure it totally convinced my Mom... She had eyes behind her head... )
It always worked... ( I think I learn being charming from the master of charmers...)
I also come from a hockey family... (Hopefully some can relate...)
(I so wish there was a hockey emoticon to add to this sentence!!!) | |
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| Parental Sayings....
Posted: 3/15/2007 1:47:10 PM | These are repeats that I posted on a different thread about Southern Sayings, but my step dad used to say:
It's cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey!
You're slower than molasses in January -or- You're slower than the second coming of Christ!
I'm gonna knock a turd outta you longer than a well rope!
I'm sure we've all heard: Shut the door...were you born in a barn?!? | |
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| Parental Sayings....
Posted: 3/16/2007 10:11:10 AM | It's been a trip down memory lane here in this tread......
My mom used to tell me that if I didn't have my head attached to my body, I would lose that too. LOL
I also remember the first time (while yelling at my own kids) I caught myself saying something my mom had yelled at me ..... I was so shocked, thinking WTF! Did I just say that? Oh no, I'm my mom.....  Well, I can laugh now, but back then ..... I walked away from my kids shaking my head ... that left them wondering, what happened? Mom stopped yelling. ..... Ah, memories..... | |
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