rjb888
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Joined: 4/4/2007
Msg: 101 | |
| Parental Sayings....
Posted: 5/16/2007 11:16:19 AM | "You do bad things, bad things will happen to you. "
"I'm gonna smack the snot outta you."
"I'll knock you into next week."
"Your grounded until your 18."
"You are the company you keep."
"You'll eat it and like it."
"Are you looking for a spanking?" (like I'm gonna say...yeah Mom I am)
"I'm sick and tired."
"Don't you know there are straving kids in Africa."
"Don't talk back to me, and answer me when I talk to you." (I was confused)
"Spit out the seeds or a watermelon will grow in your tummy." (to this day I don't eat watermelon)
"This will hurt me more than you." ( LIE!!!)
My dad would say/do this if we came in the house crying because we were hurt. "Do you want to forget about your knee hurting?" We would say yes. He would then pinch our arm and say, "Not thinking about your knee are you?" | |
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| Parental Sayings....
Posted: 5/16/2007 9:57:56 PM | My mom used to say, "If I were drinking panther pi**, you'd be over here after some!"
I can remember thinking, "Ewwww...My mom drinks panther pi**?!!" | |
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| Parental Sayings....
Posted: 8/25/2007 4:52:59 PM | | "When I want your opinion..." "WAIT! I know, you'll give it to me, right?" | |
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| Parental Sayings....
Posted: 8/25/2007 7:19:46 PM | My mother used to ask me what is the most important part of the body.
Through the years I would take a guess at what I thought was the correct answer. When I was younger, I thought sound was very important to us as humans, so I said, "My ears, Mommy." She said, "No. Many people are deaf. But you keep thinking about it and I will ask you again soon."
Several years passed before she asked me again. Since making my First attempt, I had contemplated the correct answer. So this time I told her, Mommy, sight is very important to everybody, so it must be our eyes." She looked at me and told me, "You are learning fast, but the answer is not correct because there are many people who are blind."
Stumped again, I continued my quest for knowledge and over the years, Mother asked me a couple more times and always her answer was, "No. But you are getting smarter every year, my child."
Then last year, my grandpa died. Everybody was hurt. Everybody was crying. Even my father cried. I remember that especially because it was only the second time I saw him cry. My Mom looked at me when it was our turn to say our final goodbye to Grandpa. She asked me, "Do you know the most important body part yet, my dear?" I was shocked when she asked me this now. I always thought this was a game between her and me. She saw the confusion on my face and told me, "This question is very important. It shows that you have really
lived in our life."
For every body part you gave me in the past, I have told you were wrong and I have given you an example why. But today is the day you need to learn this important lesson."
She looked down at me as only a mother can. I saw her eyes well up with tears. She said, "My dear, the most important body part is your shoulder." I asked, "Is it because it holds up my head?" She replied, "No, it is because it can hold the head of a friend or a loved one when they cry. Everybody needs a shoulder to cry on sometime in life, my dear. I only hope that you have enough love and friends that you will always have a shoulder to cry on when you need it."
Then and there I knew the most important body part is not a selfish one. It is sympathetic to the pain of others. People will forget what you said. People will forget what you did. But people will NEVER forget how you made them feel. | |
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| Parental Sayings....
Posted: 8/25/2007 8:27:22 PM | | my mother would say, "get that tone out of your voice" and she always said it with this tone......but when my brothers and I were getting into a conflict, she became a very wise woman and would say, "sort it out among yourselves" (which did the trick, of course, for without any reaction on her part, it was not worth continuing our conflict) | |
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| Parental Sayings....
Posted: 8/25/2007 10:32:10 PM | | My dad is one of those guys that always has his pocket knife of him. Every time that I would come home complaining about a cut or bruise or something he would always pull the knife out and say "You want me to cut the bad spot out". For years I never knew if he was serious or not. | |
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| Parental Sayings....
Posted: 8/26/2007 12:41:47 PM | I have heard most of those sayings from my parents and I hate to admit I have used them. The most common is when they get me flustered by their acts of stupidity and then I soud something like this...
" stuart, I mean, bob, jorden, james... oh whatever the hell your name is, get off the roof!"
"Becuase I said so" is a standard response
"This isn't a restaurant, eat whats in front of you"
"We don't offer maid service in this five star resort"
and my all time favorite to a n outragous request for the newest most expensive toy out there (like ps3 for example) " Get a job" which comes from my parents old response of " Money don't grow on trees"
Then of course, although it isn't neccessarily a saying... I need to be very descriptive in my instructions.
" James you need to have shower, you need to put shampoo in your hair and wash, then rinse it out" | |
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| Parental Sayings....
Posted: 8/27/2007 8:14:20 AM | | whatsaminger?, what are straving kids? I've never straved; is it an African ritual? | |
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| Parental Sayings....
Posted: 9/22/2007 11:35:14 AM | | One very wise thing my mother always said was, "two wrongs don't make a right". | |
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| Parental Sayings....
Posted: 9/23/2007 5:18:18 AM | | My mum used to threaten me with "I'll Throttle you!!!" my friends father used to threaten her - "I'll Skin ya!!!!" Funny how I only remember the bad stuff but this next one is quite funny when i look back, everybodies mum did this at some frustrated stage - picked the kid up off the ground by their arm and belted them on the bum in perfect synch with the words that were screaming out their mouths "I-TOLD-YOU-NOT-TO-TOUCH-THE-STE-RE-OOOOO!!!!! and the last syllabol could include up to 5 whacks! | |
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| Parental Sayings....
Posted: 9/23/2007 6:13:31 AM | | I would love to have this to send to my son. Any way I can do it? LOL I've used a few of these myself. | |
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| Parental Sayings....
Posted: 9/23/2007 2:12:59 PM | | Once when my oldest son (now 25) and I were visiting my parents here when we were living abroad, he was getting quite lazy as a young boy and one time I heard my mother say to him, "And what did your last servant die of?" I laughed so hard with the clever truth of it - definitely a reminder to him he could do things for himself, supportive for me, and put just perfectly with humor. | |
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| Parental Sayings....
Posted: 9/23/2007 8:30:54 PM | "Do as I say, not as I do." He said this when we would question his admonishment for us not to smoke, usually while he was holding a lit cigarette.
"If you keep eating those apple seeds, you'll have a tree growing out of your stomach soon!" I loved eating the entire apple.
"If you have it with you, you can put it on. Better to have an extra layer to take off than not to have the extra to put on." This was his standard encouragement for us to carry a light jacket/sweater on cool days.
"A kid is a baby goat." My father hated to hear us refer to our friends as kids. | |
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| Parental Sayings....
Posted: 9/24/2007 7:41:00 PM | | Brother would always ask me when his son got into trouble. "I wonder if retroactive abortions are legal?" | |
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| Parental Sayings....
Posted: 11/3/2007 10:05:09 PM | | Don't pee in the soup until you've made other plans for dinner. | |
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| Parental Sayings....
Posted: 11/4/2007 7:11:58 AM | sounds like everyone misses their parents...and it sounds like they all knew each other and were conspiring against us.
So..finally the other day it happened to me. I was doing something tedious, and my friends kid had his car stereo blasting, I think it was Linkin Park. After 45 minutes of this I had an out of body experience, must have been, cause I heard the words and everyone was looking at me, I felt my lips move and I was shouting "turn that crap off! Thats not MUSIC! You can't even hear a word they're saying,! they're just screaming!"
I stopped short of making a statement to the effect that Mozart and Chopin were real music. 20 short years ago I was rocking out to Judas Preist, Ratt, Ted Nugent, and if I recall, there were songs that you had to read the lyrics for to finally "get" the song.
In the silence that followed my outburst, I heard the kid tell his 2 buddies "what a grouchy old **stard" I feel like the guy at the start of monty pythons "holy grail"
"I'm not old" "I'm 43".
anyhow grandpa had a couple of good ones, if he saw us kids trying to fix something, he'd say "you can't polish a turd!" And when he was leaving for home he'd shout "I'm OFF....like a brides NIGHTGOWN! or "a jew's FORESKIN!"....If you happened to drop something he'd say "3 tries for a quarter!" My first attempt waterskiing didn't go very well, I just got up on top of the water and 1 ski went east, the other, west. Before I hit the water my dad had shouted out "make a WISH!" loud enough for everyone on Diefenbaker Lake to hear. When Chuck Norris had his first movie out, I was marvelling at his skill and bravado. Grandpa said, "I heard that Chuck Norris is SO FAST...he can run around the world..... and KICK HIMSELF IN THE ASS!"
I liked chevy's and my dad was a ford fan. we were all at a family gathering in Saskatoon, and everyone was going to their cars after leaving the cafe. I am still 10 feet from my car and dad shouts out "need a boost?!" I can still see my uncles doubled over with laughter.
My mom used to say "you are what you eat!" and then she'd say "we're having rump roast again tonight!'
Those were the days.
Grandpa used to say "in 10 years, right now will be the good ol days!" | |
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| Parental Sayings....
Posted: 11/4/2007 6:31:22 PM | I often "channel" my mother with my children.... and the starving children while we were growing up were in "Biafra".... never did know where that was.
Some of the ones my kids will be recounting....
"You're driving me crazy, and thanks, but I don't need a ride!"
When they bug me for money i don't have.... "just a minute while I pull some out of my a$$?", with appropriate pantomime.
My dad used to tell me, when i complained about my brother bugging me... "Just grab a 2x4 and use it upside of his head"
"Go cut yourself a switch"... my sister actually spent an hour looking for said switch, couldn't decide if a thick one or a thin one would hurt more....lol...but kept her busy and out of my parents hair for a while!
"You know what thought did?" WTF< Still don't get that one?
"Do you think i'm heating/airconditioning the whole of Ottawa?"
And a major rule in our house was no phone calls over the dinner hour. The phone would ring, whoever would ask if "So and So" was there, my dad would say yes, and hang up the phone. The first few times, everyone at the table's jaw would drop.... then we just got used to it and our friends learned when NOT to call. | |
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| Parental Sayings....
Posted: 11/5/2007 1:56:30 AM | My father use to say this about me to my other brothers -
Hey guys don't hit him he's retarded..!
lol | |
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| Parental Sayings....
Posted: 11/23/2007 1:49:48 PM | When describing:
a hateful neighbour... "That woman is meaner than cat sh1t."
a cheap person... "His pants have Jewish pockets."
somebody dishonest..."He'd steal the pennies off a dead man's eyes."
somebody not too bright... "That boy don't know whether to sh1t or go blind."
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When we were being bad...
"Don't you make me chase you!"
"Remind me why I had 4 kids..."
" Oh my God , if there is any justice...you will have kids..."
" If I catch you...so help me Jesus, I'll ......Don't you make me chase you, I said"
"I'll snatch you bald headed." Gee, as if the Pixie cut and home perm were an incentive to keep our hair.
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When we asked where our stuff was...that we didn't put away....
"Do I look like a friggen' maid"?
"Dunno. Last time I used it I put it where it belongs."
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One of the best movie quote Parental Lines is from The Big Chill... Glenn Close's character is on the phone with her daughter..."Because I'm the Mother, that's why!........ Well when you're a mother, you can be mean." | |
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Joined: 5/24/2006
Msg: 121 | |
| Parental Sayings....
Posted: 11/23/2007 4:03:51 PM | we lived on a dairy farm and we would be working on somthing
Dad would say ~ Don't just stand there like your being milked.
And dont put yor nose in other peoples business.
And one more peep out of you and $#!t will hit the fan. | |
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| Parental Sayings....
Posted: 2/10/2008 7:36:07 AM | Dad "You'll find it the last place you look" I can remember as a small kid stomping my feet and saying "Why would I keep looking after I found it!"
Mum "If wishes were horses, beggars would ride!"
" I'm thirsty" My reply, I'm Friday, lets pick up Saturday and go for a Sunday!" | |
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