| WHAT DO YOU THINK OF SPEED DATING?????
Posted: 10/2/2007 11:55:57 PM | | speed dating is exactly as stated, it falls in the category of fast foods, plastic christmas trees, and plasic easter eggs, many will always have support for something new even if it is in the wrong direction, dating in itself is a grab bag, you hope to be in the right place at the right time and find you're so called mr. right or ms. right, but i my view speed dating could very well lead to speed divorce. | |
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| WHAT DO YOU THINK OF SPEED DATING?????
Posted: 10/3/2007 12:10:30 AM | Years and years ago a friend of mine talked me into going to a 'parents without partners' meeting....it really turned me off. Seems the men there were all professional trawlers looking for a quick hit, what a joke.
And like others have said, it's a meat wagon and if you're not flashy, you're invisible.
Where at least exchanging emails you have the option of inserting your personality and getting someone interested in what's between your ears, not a 5 minute visual speculation on how she would be to lay.
But to each his own. | |
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| WHAT DO YOU THINK OF SPEED DATING?????
Posted: 10/3/2007 5:35:44 PM | I tried speed dating once, and will never do it again. I am fairly outgoing, and found that out of the 15 or so men there were only about 5 who did anything more than smile and nod when I tried to engage them in conversation. One of the few who did ask me something in return wanted to know if I would eat squid! Huh?!!
If I am going to go out on a date with someone who is so shy they won't converse, I might as well go out by myself! | |
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| WHAT DO YOU THINK OF SPEED DATING?????
Posted: 10/3/2007 6:09:30 PM | I enjoyed my experience of speed dating. I conducted interviews just as I would for a job position, although I would add humor, personality, spirit, etc (not normally included in a job interview). I know what I'm looking for, and simply kept that in mind.
Here are my positives and negatives:
Postivies:
~ I got to meet 25 qualified men, i.e., in my preferred age group, all at one time.
~ The process of elimination was fantastic. I am fairly intuitive, and can pretty much check within those first 3 minutes a yes or no.
~ I could continue the conversation with candidates passing the first stage at the bar later.
~ I had a laugh and a good social time.
Negatives:
~ I'd forgotten to what silly lengths SOME men go to, usually promoting something they've just acquired, or are into, to gain interest.
~ I'd also forgotten how SOME men have no idea how to converse. Out of the 25 men, I actually had a conversation with 3. All the others I smiled, I got to say "Hello", "umm", "okay then", and "bye".
Would I do it again. Sure. Armed. That is, looking good. (You never get a second chance to make a great first impression). Up on current events. Remember to just listen if there's no invitation to talk (that is if it's all about them, and they just need to express it). Ask open ended questions. Tell them something about me that I'm really into, and see what kind of response I get. | |
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| WHAT DO YOU THINK OF SPEED DATING?????
Posted: 10/3/2007 7:01:41 PM | Personally, I've never gone on a speed date. However, I've gone out on a few dates that I wish they were "speedy", or I was on speed  A friend of mine went on one, she said they are pretty interesting. | |
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| WHAT DO YOU THINK OF SPEED DATING?????
Posted: 10/3/2007 10:28:37 PM | I have tried speed dating. It was done before the dance that a Christian singles
group held. I didn't find anything bad about it. I took notes and the men
took notes. We used user names and then at the end of it, we turned in
our sheets. If we matched out with each other, we were notified by
email. Then we had our dance. It was interesting experience. We just
didn't have enough room there. They will probably hold another one
sometime soon. They do them in conjunction with the dances.
I didn't match with anyone there but I would do it again. I guess
the environment was different than some of the rest that posted
on here and I didn't pay any $45.00 for it. I think we pay $10-15
for the dance which includes food and drinks. | |
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| WHAT DO YOU THINK OF SPEED DATING?????
Posted: 10/4/2007 3:59:33 AM | ive never tried it either. to me, it all seems rather superficial. i dont care much about the surface as i do the content of a mans character. you cant get into much deep character in an atmosphere like that.
i can find out if there is chemistry before a face to face. thats what phone convo, email, and pics are for. if theres no chemistry at that point then you dont waste time making a date. let me clarify that one, we all live busy lives, work, family, etc,,, | |
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| WHAT DO YOU THINK OF SPEED DATING?????
Posted: 10/4/2007 4:16:39 AM | We don't have such amenities around these here parts, but if we did I would try it, as long as the men were in my age group. I am sure I could get a friend to go with me and make a party out of it!  | |
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| WHAT DO YOU THINK OF SPEED DATING?????
Posted: 12/23/2007 12:36:43 AM | I have read 4 pages of comments and I'm really surprised at the assumptions made about speed dating!
Speed Dating vs. Internet Dating
• I can't get to know someone in 3 minutes! / I can't get to know someone from IMs!
• It's superficial, judging people just by how they look / It's superficial, judging people just by how their photos look
• I met 25 people, and only 3 could hold a conversation / I wrote to 25 people, and only 3 wrote back
• Too many sharks or guys looking for 1 nighters / Too many sharks or guys looking for 1 nighters
• Some people are rude! / Some people are rude!
• $$$ is too much to pay to meet 20 people / $$$ is too much to pay to meet 3 people
• Too much pressure - too rushed - I don't like being interviewed / Does anybody date here? - Why doesn't anyone answer email? - Why doesn't anyone READ my profile? | |
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| WHAT DO YOU THINK OF SPEED DATING?????
Posted: 12/23/2007 12:57:35 AM | I have read 4 pages of comments. I really appreciate the posts that explain in detail how the events were conducted, and what some of the guidelines and suggestions were.
I like the dancing analogy that was posted early in this thread. That's a speed date. Am I to understand that women will dance with a stranger for 3 minutes, but actually sitting quietly face-to-face for that time is too challenging?
My personal opinion is that 'speed dating' is a misnomer. It's more like 'speedy introductions'. In the long run, it simply does not matter HOW you met your lover. What matters is what you do AFTER you have met someone you like. People seem to love to gripe about not being able to meet 'available' singles to date. Speed dating seems like a prime opportunity to mingle in a crowd of people that are in the range of what you want to find. It's a great way to test your social skills. Are you easy to talk to? Are you good at judging character based on looks? Do you know how to introduce yourself in a positive way?
Probing Your Thoughts:
• For those women who fantasize about being swept off their feet by a handsome stranger --- Isn't speed dating just the format that would facilitate such an event?
• For those men who gripe that women won't do chat or IM with them online --- Isn't speed dating your dream come true? You have a captive audience for 3 minutes. You can rattle off you absolute best, surefire come-ons before being shut down. What an opportunity!
Final Thought:
Dating is a compatibility test. There are no "losers". Either you are compatible, or you aren't. The more you date, the more opportunities you have to find a match. I realize most people want to stick their toe in the water by doing all sorts of pre-meet chats and comparing hobbies and histories and the like, but you can never be 100% sure. You simply have to meet people to know if it will work. Speed dating is a way to MEET PEOPLE. You decide what happens next.  | |
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| WHAT DO YOU THINK OF SPEED DATING?????
Posted: 12/23/2007 12:12:08 PM | Been there. Done that. Can't say I was incredibly impressed. The whole thing was being filmed for TV so everyone was on their best behavior.
No time for chemistry at all. It's looks alone, and looks in a dark bar, I might add.
Some women are not particularly glib, or in fact any good at light conversation and I think that hurts the overall impression you end up with. | |
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| WHAT DO YOU THINK OF SPEED DATING?????
Posted: 12/23/2007 12:35:37 PM |
Dating is a compatibility test. There are no "losers".
Wrong!
If your date leads to marriage, you can easily become a loser!
The more you date, the more opportunities you have to find a match
Logically that makes sense, I believed it and approached dating that way. But now I'm questioning it from an efficiency and effectiveness aspect. If I have infinite resources and time, it works well. There's an implied assumption that more time & resources buys a better result.
I'm just not seeing it. Now I wonder if there's an opposite effect, in that it influences your choice of venue and initiative. For instance, I've been focused on women in the 40-50 age range because of better compatibility, thus better odds of success.
But lately I wonder if the elusive ingredient of "love" is more likely in younger women. That's who I meet now, in restaurants, bars, hotels, airplanes, malls. They often flirt but I usually ignore them. They're really seeking security but maybe there's more chemistry, too.
I've known this waitress for a year, she's 25, maybe 30. For some unknown reason, last night she turned on flirting full-bore, heaved her breasts at me, I lost track of what I was ordering and stuttered for a few seconds. She was ecstatic that she ruffled me.
It's been in my mind all morning.
I never had a woman distract me like that before.
Of course, it could be age, too. | |
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| WHAT DO YOU THINK OF SPEED DATING?????
Posted: 12/23/2007 8:46:17 PM |
Logically that makes sense, I believed it and approached dating that way. But now I'm questioning it from an efficiency and effectiveness aspect.
You SHOULD question the efficiency and effectiveness of ANY technique. I totally agree simple dating by volume is NOT efficient. But ---- avoiding contact with people is totally INefficient. You can play one slot machine with better odds, or play a lot of machines and hope for some luck. Either way, your attitude can affect your overall experience. If you are more satified with BIG wins, stay with the good machine. If you are happy just playing the machines, and don't care so much about winning a jackpot, then spread you game around.
Your waitress may have just been trying to get her "tips" to match the size of her "tits". | |
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| WHAT DO YOU THINK OF SPEED DATING?????
Posted: 12/24/2007 12:22:19 AM |
Your waitress may have just been trying to get her "tips" to match the size of her "tits".
Yes, that's the first thing that passes through my mind.
But I've known her for awhile and the staff there already knows that I tip well.
Either way, your attitude can affect your overall experience.
True, but I often just don't a **** anymore.
I'm not sure it's fixable. | |
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| WHAT DO YOU THINK OF SPEED DATING?????
Posted: 12/24/2007 10:07:19 AM | | I've never done it before and several friends have suggested I try it in the past. But I just don't see how anyone can get a sense of a person in just 10 to 15 minutes of talking. | |
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| WHAT DO YOU THINK OF SPEED DATING?????
Posted: 12/24/2007 1:57:38 PM |
But I just don't see how anyone can get a sense of a person in just 10 to 15 minutes of talking.
You can't. You have to shut up and let the other person talk!!
"Well...enough about me! Let's talk about my STUFF...." | |
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| WHAT DO YOU THINK OF SPEED DATING?????
Posted: 12/24/2007 6:59:39 PM | Speeding Date Session...
Hi, my name is Michael... what's yours? Really? Howdoyouspellthat?Ohok.Whatdoyoulikedoing?Really?SodoI!Great!Sowhatdoyoulookforinaguy?
What? Times up? Dang! Next! | |
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| WHAT DO YOU THINK OF SPEED DATING?????
Posted: 12/25/2007 6:27:03 PM | I think most speed dating events are a scam. We have a slick scam operator in this state who sets up these events, charging $45 per person. I went a couple of times some years ago. The first time, I figured I could give it a try, and that time I had no matches. The second time, there were no matches again, and I caught on to the con. It is a scam this guy uses to collect money from single people, not matching anyone up. Buyer Beware! I would not attend a speed dating event unless I knew that the operator was reputable and the person provided me with references who had matches. At this point in my life, I am a fulltime student and am focused on my studies, so I would not be found at a speed dating event. Since I am not even looking, it would be a waste of time and money. Perhaps at some future date (pun intended ) I will consider attending a speed dating event after checking out the people sponsoring it very thoroughly. Alot of matchmaking services are scams, while others are inexpensive and do a poor job of matchmaking. Some are legit, and will provide references along with providing information about costs, etc. ahead of time. One firm is a scam, one that won't tell people ahead of time what the costs are, a sales tactic used to lure people in and then tell them how much it is. I think it is wrong for a business to not provide a potential client with cost structure information ahead of time.
To sum it all up buyer beware!! | |
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| WHAT DO YOU THINK OF SPEED DATING?????
Posted: 1/20/2008 6:36:40 PM | So many cynics. Wow!
Of COURSE you can get a sense of someone in 5 minutes or so. Who makes you laugh? Who makes eye contact? Who rambles on about themselves or talks about an ex (yes, I really had a guy do that at the event I went to), and who seems genuinely interested in what you have to say? Who has a unique interest in common with you? Who just intrigues you for whatever reason?
You don't decide if this person is going to be your next spouse (or ex-spouse, ha) within a few minutes; you simply decide if you'd be up for talking to them again. If you don't, you don't, but at least you gave all kinds of people a chance - and people had to give you a chance as well. Then you communicate further if you want to.
I'm dating a guy I met speed dating and I'm thrilled with him. I might not have noticed him under other circumstances, but when we talked face-to-face he seemed honest, smart, and funny, and I realized he was pretty cute too. Once we started emailing we realized how easily we could talk to each other...so we decided to see how things would go if we hung out in person under less awkward ('cuz yes, it is awkward!) circumstances. "Things", needless to say, ended up being fantastic....and strange though it may be, speed dating is responsible. :) | |
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