| Do you think Men & Women will ever Trust each other,enough to be friends?
Posted: 9/24/2006 6:54:59 PM | ...Your right, thats a mistake a lot of people make ruralblonde.....wanting to be a couple. Too many people rush into a relationship without taking the time to really get to know that other person. They are in love with the idea of "being in love". I have had two major relationships and the first one left me a little sour on love as well as trying to deal with the whole trust issue. I felt for a good long while that I would never trust my heart to another man. I was so afraid of having it broken again. But "life happens when your busy making other plans." as the lyrics go. I met someone, fell in love and together we created the most precious gift of all, a beautiful baby girl. In all honesty, I did not use good judgment when I married for the second time, but the thing was, I trusted him enough with my heart to do so. Things don't always work out the way we want them too, but I truly believe they happen for a reason.
Will I trust someone again, you bet......but like you said, hes gotta earn it first.
...maeflowers | |
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| Do you think Men & Women will ever Trust each other,enough to be friends?
Posted: 9/25/2006 6:05:06 AM | From what I've seen and experienced, there will be no such thing as a boy/girl friendship, for me.
Especially when, during our " friendship talks", they are talking & flirting about " a romantic relationship."
When one or the other wants to take it to the next level and the other one says " Gosh, I was just fooling with you" or" I thought you knew I just wanted to be friends with you and every other woman on the planet".... someone ends up being hurt.
I have two long-term female friends I trust with everything. I have lots of female aquaintances. I have some on line female friends/aquaintances who I have shared intimately with.
I will not engage in a relationship with a man who says he wants to be friends first. To me, that's a lot of hog wash and a license for him to play the field.
Muskoka
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| Do you think Men & Women will ever Trust each other,enough to be friends?
Posted: 9/26/2006 9:23:55 AM |
I will not engage in a relationship with a man who says he wants to be friends first. To me, that's a lot of hog wash
Well that's a first. Are you saying you want be in a relationship with a man that you don't consider a friend?
The Kid don't give it up that quick. I can't imagine being in a relationship with a woman I wouldn't consider a good friend as well. Different strokes for different folks I guess. | |
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| Do you think Men & Women will ever Trust each other,enough to be friends?
Posted: 9/26/2006 4:30:55 PM | Well, I guess I need to address this since I'm the one who said " I won't consider talking to a man who wants to be friends first What I mean by this statement is I won't talk to a man who "just" wants a friend.
As some of you may or may not know, I'm widowed. My husband was my best friend. But, he was also my husband and my lover. So, NO...I'm not saying that I want to be in a relationship with a man that I don't consider a friend. Certainly I want my man to be my friend in addition to everything that an intimate relationship offers.
I am saying, that I've talked with a few men on POF who say they are looking for friends who happen to be girls. I'm not looking for friends who happen to be guys.....I'm looking for someone that wants to knock my socks off, float my boat, make my life take a different direction. Someone special who wants to share life with me....you know the boy/girl thing in addition to being my best friend.
If a man contacts me with the sole purpose of "only" being my friend....then walk on by...I have enough friends.
Read my lips.....I'm not looking for a male friend ....they'd better want all or nothing.
Muskoka | |
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| Do you think Men & Women will ever Trust each other,enough to be friends?
Posted: 10/2/2006 7:00:45 AM | | I have been raised that trust is something to be earned, and if that means starting out as friends, then so be it. A relationship is something, that you just can't walk into, and i have had a friend, of the opposite sex, and we have been the best of friends, for over 3 years, and i don't regret one day of it. Every relationship has to start somewhere, and if i'm correct you have to be friends with that person first, before it could ever possibly develope, into more. Have you ever known anyone, that couldn't use with another friend ? | |
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| Do you think Men & Women will ever Trust each other,enough to be friends?
Posted: 10/2/2006 10:22:00 AM | Friends are important .. male and female .. as they can point out things in myself that I may overlook or choose to ignore. New friends can point out new things .. as we are all slowly changing.
To that lady speaking of men in our age group getting into a rut .. I have similar stories of women my age that seem inflexible to change and adaptation ... only content with finding a perfect fit .. a tailored man. | |
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| Do you think Men & Women will ever Trust each other,enough to be friends?
Posted: 10/2/2006 2:02:57 PM | First of all I think it's great that you've found support and kindness here when you needed it. And my heart goes out to you and your family as well. I've also suffered unexpected loss in my life and it isn't possible to handle it alone. Every little supportive comment, hug, and prayer helps.
I don't think all of the uncertainty is related to mistrust and being burnt by the opposite sex. Although much of it is rooted there I'm sure. And I'm more than sure that my gender has supplied a great deal of material for mistrust. However some of the insecurity comes from a need to be certain about someone if you're going to go forward at all with a new relationship. Not certian about there being drug and desease free, or whether or not they enjoy promiscuity, but just certain about a compantability. The going up isn't always worth the coming down.
In my case, do I want to make another life-time investment, or can I just be happy exploring other non romantic facets of life and simply enjoy some feminine freindships (not intimate) along the way? Priests do it. I don't know if this is possible but I need to consider it before I put myself or anyone else into a commitment. On the other hand, I've always loved sex. Hmmmmm what a delima | |
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| Do you think Men & Women will ever Trust each other,enough to be friends?
Posted: 10/2/2006 6:20:29 PM | I don't have a problem with men and women trusting each other enough to be friends. I am wondering if this question means just friends. I don't have a problem with that either. I think if you are friends, trust has to be there, whether it is a male or female friend.
In my opinion, you can't have too many friends. | |
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| Do you think Men & Women will ever Trust each other,enough to be friends?
Posted: 10/13/2006 8:56:51 AM | | There is a certain amount of trust in our fellow human beings that must exist to just meet someone. Our level of trust then goes up or down based on our experience with that person. Yes, there are many people that cannot be trusted and need to be eliminated from our lives but we cannot know which they are without opening ourselves up a little and taking a small risk. | |
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banter
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Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 69 | |
| Do you think Men & Women will ever Trust each other,enough to be friends?
Posted: 10/14/2006 8:05:33 AM | | men and women do trust each other and have every reason not to trust each other green eyes. we've all been taken advantage by friends or others just by trying to help them. it's not just in the dating world. someone comes to your door and says they need help , you try to help, right.some people here want help , and people do try to help. it's different to let them into your real life .we all want conpassionate, sincere, educated , good job,good looking,good conversation, good hygene, good religion. good god. from what i gather from the ladies, some of the guys are a bit much. some ladies are fed up a have unique ways of stating this. in the same way ladies are looking for the perfect guy that goes with everything in their lives. well people aren't perfect so good luck with that. trust is easy, getting burned or hurt is something else, it makes you more cautious. nobody likes to hear the other person was only infatuated, but it happens. meet people when you can, keep your guard up always. it's easy to get in over your head and find yourself standing alone.but don't give up, there's to many great people to say hi to. sorry for your loss greeneyedlady. | |
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| Do you think Men & Women will ever Trust each other,enough to be friends?
Posted: 10/18/2006 6:49:13 PM | nobody likes to hear the other person was only infatuated, but it happens. meet people when you can, keep your guard up always. It's easy to get in over your head and find yourself standing alone, but don't give up, there's too many great people.......
This is so true Banter......Thank goodness, I didn't become disillusioned or give up....because of one person who wasn't capable of anything deeper or didn't want anything more than friendship. From past experience, I've had a best friend as well as a lover. And, we trusted each other explicitly.He passed..... and after six years I've found out if you wait for the right person.....you can have it again! Trust, friendship as well as be lovers. You really can have the whole enchillada! without categories.....nothing excessive about wanting and having it all! Life's too short not to have it all!
Muskoka
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| Do you think Men & Women will ever Trust each other,enough to be friends?
Posted: 10/20/2006 8:06:39 PM | Hi everybody, I can't believe this thread is still going on, but Thank you all for your kind words
and thought's. I've met alot of good friend's on here. Male or Female, but Muskoka I don't
understand your way of thinking. You want someone to knock your sock's off, float your boat, but you don't want to be friend's first....How's that working for you?
Please men, if you just want to be friends, I thank you for being honest with me, because that is what I want at 1ST too. It's the guy's that promise you the moon & the star's and turn out to be creep's that piss me off. Please all you honest men, keep up the good work, because as far as I'm concerned,We have just taken our first step's towards trust. And without Trust you can't have any relationship.
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| Do you think Men & Women will ever Trust each other,enough to be friends?
Posted: 10/20/2006 11:30:21 PM | I'm looking for someone that wants to knock my socks off, float my boat, make my life take a different direction. Someone special who wants to share life with me...
So i take it Musoka, that your looking for someone to do your laundry, launch your vessel, and have a compass, in his back pocket, as well as an engagement ring. Please correct me if i'm wrong, but wouldn't you have to be friends, with that gentleman first, before you trusted him, with all those mighty demands, that you so request ? | |
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| Do you think Men & Women will ever Trust each other,enough to be friends?
Posted: 10/21/2006 5:34:53 AM | your (sic) looking for someone to do your laundry,launch your vessel and have a compass, in his back pocket, as well as an engagement ring
YES.............said " tongue in cheek"
You don't want friends first. How's that working for you?
I'll say it one more time....since it seems I'm being misunderstood.
I want a man who is not "only" a friend. I want a man who wants to be my friend and lover in a committed relationship.
How's that working for me?
Don't fret your pretty little heads about it. It's working for me...and my days at POF may be numbered.
How's looking for "just friends" working for you?
Now, you can start picking on someone else okay?
Muskoka
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| Do you think Men & Women will ever Trust each other,enough to be friends?
Posted: 10/21/2006 5:39:14 AM | Will I trust someone again, you bet......but like you said, hes gotta earn it first. well said, Maeflowers. I feel the same way. Now that I'm older, wiser, (& a tad bit jaded), the next fella is gonna have to show me who he is. I guess this attitude is called maturity & wisdom | |
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| Do you think Men & Women will ever Trust each other,enough to be friends?
Posted: 10/21/2006 8:06:22 PM | Thank-you Banter for your word's, it's sad but so true. But all we can do is keep trying
to bring down though's walls. As long as we're honest & caring to the people that try to
reach out to us, Most of us, that still believe that people are generally good.We Will keep on making friends & if it doesn't turn into anything, at least we've made a friend.
And good ones are hard to find. | |
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