| | Is it harder to date now?Page 3 of 6 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6) | At our age, half the people have been rejected by a former partner or rejected a former partner.
So do you want to date someone that has already been rejected or does the rejecting.
Yep. Says it all. Charred dregs sifting through all the other charred dregs... | |
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| Is it harder to date now?
Posted: 6/5/2007 12:05:34 AM |
Yep. Says it all. Charred dregs sifting through all the other charred dregs...
Yep. Dumper or dumpee both come with their own set of issues. At this age you mostly find those with issues or those who are stuck on themselves. Which is the lesser of these two evils? Why bother again? Oh yeah, the loneliness or aloneness if you've graduated to that level. Or, you think so highly of yourself you just have to share your wonderfulness with another (in other words, those who claim I don't need anybody, I want somebody). The silly mind games we get involved with after a divorce are just ridiculous. I never realized how screwed up divorced people were until I became one. I guess I'm lucky I had 29 years of a sane relationship because from here on out it's jaded. Even those who claim they're not jaded and are happy being single are simply wearing rose colored glasses. I boil it down to a few facts. God is smarter than the rest of us. God created Eve because he saw it was not good for man to be alone. It's really that simple. He knew what he was doing and then we come along and screw it up like we know better and define relationships in our image instead of His. That's why it's so hard to have a relationship anymore, very few even know what a relationship is. I'm not a Bible thumper but I do believe His ways bear more fruit than our fun and be happy mentality we've acquired since the ME generation took control of the world. I know, I should have been born two generations ago, maybe then I'd stand a chance of finding another this late in the game. It's tiring to say the least. | |
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| Is it harder to date now?
Posted: 6/5/2007 12:16:32 AM | I had no idea so many people made so many incorrect generalizations on individuals and walked around with closed minds until I started dating again.
I don't have a circle of friends that are that way, so I am still absolutely surprised by how many people take their personal experiences and put those experiences onto other people without really bothering to get to know someone first.
As a society, there is a great deal of disfunction with concentration away from what is really important...so my answer is yes. It's a lot harder this time around. | |
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| Is it harder to date now?
Posted: 6/5/2007 10:26:44 AM | O.P.
I don't think it is harder to find someone to date and have fun with. In fact I think it is easier, once you determine who is single, to have a great time with the opposite sex.
That being said, it seems more difficult to find what we think is "the one" as the pressure to start a family is long gone and replaced with dreading "blending families".
JMHO | |
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| Is it harder to date now?
Posted: 6/5/2007 10:36:37 AM |
At our age, half the people have been rejected by a former partner or rejected a former partner.
So do you want to date someone that has already been rejected or does the rejecting.
You will have a hard time finding any kind of relationship, if you go by the above standards.
Unless a person has dated only one person in their life, and are a widow/widower chances are they have been rejected or rejected someone. Good luck!!
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| Is it harder to date now?
Posted: 6/5/2007 10:48:18 AM | Laffin, Ms. AW. And as a further to what you said ... unless one is a widow or widower, the best any of us can say is that, in our entire life, we have only had ONE relationship that worked -- and that's only if we're in one now. And if that's the case, we probably wouldn't be found on a dating site.
I do, though, try not to think of this too often -- bloody depressing !! ... (lol)
cdn guy | |
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| Is it harder to date now?
Posted: 6/5/2007 10:58:04 AM | | To me, MacKevin's comments were not defining a "standard" or a "test" to finding partners. Otherwise, right, we wouldn't be here. I think they were an observation, an opinon, on the topic why it's harder (not impossible) to date now - the available dating pool of people without serious issues that jeopardize relationships is draining away... | |
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| Is it harder to date now?
Posted: 6/5/2007 11:08:18 AM | | nope, much easier to date now in my opinion. I have way more dates then when I was younger. | |
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| Is it harder to date now?
Posted: 6/5/2007 11:58:05 AM | I agree, there is a lot of good women with open minds who have time to spend with someone. I have a lot of choices now because I have taken the time to work on myself and others find me attractive because of it. It sounds like to me that all of these posts for the most part are from people who have decided it is not going to happen.
Let it happen! It will be rewarding and you cannot find perfection but something better may be waiting. | |
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| Is it harder to date now?
Posted: 6/5/2007 12:14:30 PM | I agree with the above two posts completely. It is much easier to date now. I've done the hurt thing, the 'woe is me' pity thing, the first love elation, the 'swept me off my feet', the butterflies of first meetings, the long-term, the short-term ... as have the women that I talk with. We have that common ground, and if there is any maturity, we have both learned from this and used it to improve ourselves to what we are today. So we have so many 'common grounds' from which to enjoy our time together as we spend our time getting to know each other.
Yes, there are some that are not this way and do have great difficulty dating, but I believe they are a small minority and only in the forefront because they are more vocal about their problems. 'Cause let's face it, there's nothing very noteworthy about being rather normal and fairly well-adjusted.
cdn guy | |
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| hell cause it is
Posted: 6/6/2007 7:03:19 AM | im a single dad and its damn near impossible to get a date .
for some reason the woman out there dont want a man that has kids but expect a man to take on a womans children .
well thats what ive found anyway i may be wrong.
it could also be the whats he want sindrome kicking in. | |
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| Is it harder to date now?
Posted: 6/6/2007 7:16:23 AM | the available dating pool of people without serious issues that jeopardize relationships is draining away
And we're starting to see the sludge at the pool's bottom...... | |
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bayrab
| | Joined: 5/16/2007
Msg: 63 | |
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| Is it harder to date now?
Posted: 6/6/2007 12:33:56 PM | The older you get the less there is out there. They're either all taken or have all died off. I guess it's from us older women chasing them, we're giving them all heart attacks.
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| Is it harder to date now?
Posted: 6/6/2007 1:20:44 PM |
the available dating pool of people without serious issues that jeopardize relationships is draining away
hmmmm? I haven't found that to be the case.
And we're starting to see the sludge at the pool's bottom....
That's what the pool boy is for............
Muskoka | |
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bolond
| | Joined: 2/19/2007
Msg: 66 | |
| Is it harder to date now?
Posted: 6/6/2007 1:39:32 PM |
And we're starting to see the sludge at the pool's bottom...
Leave us poor sludge alone and keep my bottom out of it. | |
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| Is it harder to date now?
Posted: 6/6/2007 2:54:36 PM | There is a dating pool.. OMG, no wonder I have such trouble. I have been looking at the lake and trying to  someone out. Now you tell me!
Time to start over, where is this pool anyway???
Is it harder to date now.. I will let you know when I make that big catch!  | |
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| Is it harder to date now?
Posted: 6/6/2007 4:01:48 PM |
There is a dating pool.. OMG, no wonder I have such trouble.
Yeah, too much chlorine in the dating pool...
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| Is it harder to date now?
Posted: 6/6/2007 8:48:12 PM | I find dating a heck of alot easier now then the past cuz what's changed..........
me thank goodness....yikes...
Actually I took out a few years to heal and first and formost " justice to self"
..I leaned hard into looking at WHY I respect self and now i have a real value.....it's pretty simple...match or toss...
What the heck was the question...chuckles...taint harder it's easier cuz i have done the personal work to refine my good character features and admit and respect the weaker stuff...i choose to entertain other humans who have bothered to grow....and those who haven't can eat the dust baby....
I demand match power of integrity or guess what ..... get the heck out of my way cuz i indeed will toss a big old boundry and a big good luck to the fool to trys to come threw it...smiles big..
I am 10 times the human i was back then...i hold my power and do not feed from others..
.big surprise my esteem comes from me where in the past I made the mistake of expecting that from others...I know...I kicked my own azz........laffs..goodluck to all :hugs: | |
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| Is it harder to date now?
Posted: 6/6/2007 11:45:23 PM | | harder yes,, impossible no,, depends on what you are really comfortable with, at our age, i have found that men and women are both on equal footing in this arena, my advice for what its worth,, dont settle for who you can live with,, settle for the one you cant live without, | |
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| Is it harder to date now?
Posted: 6/7/2007 5:00:49 AM | | Harder to date? Yes and No. Easier because of great sights like this one. Harder because of our age. I think that we do get set in our ways. After being single a few years you find you are happy with your life and very busy. Kids, jobs etc. I date a lot because I am open to more people. I don't limit myself to certain incomes or the way a guy looks. However I don't really know if that strategy is working because I am still looking! So it's not the dating, for me,that is the problem. | |
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Fifi47
| | Joined: 8/19/2004
Msg: 72 | |
| Is it harder to date now?
Posted: 6/7/2007 6:02:51 AM | | I find it very hard to date now. Most of the men I have met are all looking for the same type of woman, and she is not me. I have not been married and have no children, and most of the men that I meet seem to not see me as a possible dating partner since I am not divorced with children, although I am supposed to not wonder about why their marriage failed and accept their children without any questions asked. They have no problems with asking if I am gay or strange or have committment issues, etc., and when I ask them about their divorce or children I am the one who is rude..., but then if a man acts that closed minded and rude to me, he is definitely not someone I would ever date anyway. Way too many women to choose from for the men, and most seem to look at appearance as the number one factor no matter who she is as a person. | |
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ryn48
| | Joined: 2/26/2007
Msg: 73 | |
| Is it harder to date now?
Posted: 6/7/2007 6:45:20 AM | Yeah, it can be harder. Because if you have kids, then like it or not, he is not just dating you. And believe me, learning how to interact with someone else's kids is hard. Your beau's ways of discipline may not be yours, etc. But the partner that will try his darndest to keep things smooth, is a definite keeper.
I have always come from the angle that I am ok with being single and who I am now. I am ok with doing things on my own. Finding a partner was not the be all and end all of my life. Yes, I would pop on from time to time read the forums. But it was not a main goal. It was a passtime.
Keep your mind open to just meeting people as much as possible. Bored? Get interested in something and run with it. Meeting a life partner should never be all consuming. Always keep your attitude positive, and who knows? If it works out, great! If not, then great too, just think of all the things you've done and stuff you learned. | |
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| Is it harder to date now?
Posted: 6/7/2007 6:53:28 AM |
I guess it's from us older women chasing them, we're giving them all heart attacks
No, it's not from the chase; it's from the aerobic activity when you catch us!  | |
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| Is it harder to date now?
Posted: 6/7/2007 6:55:44 AM | I think it depends on the person. For myself, I find it more difficult to date quality men, there are a lot of nut cases out there, who want something totally different from what I am looking for. It is as though they don't even bother to read my profile, or they would not try to waste my time and theirs. Men my age tend to want to date much younger women, as though they will find the fountain of youth by having some arm candy who is young enough to be their daughter!
Perhaps they don't realize what they are missing out on. With age comes maturity, a sense of who we are, lots and lots of experience with life issues in general, fewer personal demands on our time, and for many middle aged women, a higher sex drive. What a shame that those men are missing all that!!
If I wanted to "settle" I am sure I would be dating more than I do now....but I know who I am and what I want, and it's not to be some notch on a bedpost, not at this age. That nonsense should be worked out of people's systems by now!
just my 2 cents | |
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