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| Is Intelligence A Curse In Relationships?
Posted: 7/15/2008 7:20:31 PM | Isn't the largest sexual organ the brain?
Personally I think men are appealling regardless of their IQ, but if I want someone to be my life partner and stimulate me in all ways - always - then he should bring to the table something more than being pretty or good in bed. | |
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| Is Intelligence A Curse In Relationships?
Posted: 7/15/2008 7:29:58 PM | +1 to thewritechick for using "usurping" in a post. THAT is hawt!
I think intelligence ideally should be matched. This is hard to do at times because intelligence
manifests itself in an infinitum of ways. I probably wouldn't get along with a physicist as well as
I would a psychologist because I'm more keen on the latter and human behavior in general.
Before my "era of elightenment" I did date a woman who was most interested in talking about
herself and that was certainly a bore. Now I prefer highly opinionated women who don't hold
grudges.
In the end it's the thirst for knowledge that I really admire and if both parties in a relationship
are willing and eager to learn new stuff the relationship is kept fresh and the respect is always
mutual.
O | |
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| Is Intelligence A Curse In Relationships?
Posted: 7/20/2008 6:31:55 AM | | I'm quite drawn to intelligent men. I don't find this attribute in the least bit intimidating. I've been pondering this quite a bit lately. Intelligence does not equate to perceived social measures of success. Intelligence is not measured by collections of degrees or job titles. It seems to me intelligence has a direct correlation to worldliness, which I'm drawn to as well. I dig the depth and breadth of the personal experience. An insatiable desire to know more, the why's of the world, whether your a craftsman, starving musician or PhD. Intelligence does however seem to add a layer of additional complexity to the equation. I do think a significant amount of over thinking does occur and I think that although many men, as well as women, seek an intelligent partner, they know not what they ask for. I'm beginning to believe "strong", proud, men do have insecurities with a strong, smart woman? | |
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| Is Intelligence A Curse In Relationships?
Posted: 7/20/2008 7:08:25 AM | | Everything is meaningless. If you're intelligent, try to dumb it down. If you're stupid, try to be more intelligent. Don't be extreme either way. Be down to earth and keep it simple. I used to think a lot and analyze many things, but it hurt my head. | |
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| Is Intelligence A Curse In Relationships?
Posted: 7/20/2008 7:20:35 AM | Hi metaphisicalman,
First of all intelligent people aren't always intelectuals.Second of all,it's not intelligence that makes people manipulative and controlling,in fact,I think it is the exact opposite I.E. people who have low self esteem,and the only way they can make themselves feel better is to make others unhappy to show to themselves they have some kind of power.
I think you have problems seperating intelligence from emotion.
I do agree that you probably do get a more intelligent person on the forums regularly,but that's more to do with being able to respond to more subjects than someone who has had a lesser education.
Finally, it is impossible to judge someone on their I.Q. because just like looks,it's only a very small part of who they are.
I know a man who is one of the kindest men I know,who has a great empathy with and for other people,and would help anyone in trouble. He is also unemployed,has no money,and has an I.Q. of 151(on the cattel scale,average is 100),and very few people in his life know just how intelligent he is,because he has never put that intelligence to ANY use. | |
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| Is Intelligence A Curse In Relationships?
Posted: 7/20/2008 7:20:56 AM | I like intellectuals and I only date smart men. Reason being: I am well read, college graduate and a high school dropout that puts the words "like" and "you know" 59 times in one sentence is beneath my intelligence radar. People that don't read books or those that are clueless in business affairs or current news bore me to tears. What do you have to talk about - female or male? Betty Crocker's chocolate cake does not require conversation - it requires a cook.  With men, there is more to the world of literature than Playboy, Hustler and the Victoria's Secret catalog. Those are all good and well...but don't make for conversation topics either.
Also, uneducated people spend their time trying to belittle me so my self-esteem and intelligence drops down to their level. They refuse to work up to anything of better quality. That is a truly headache for me.
Is intelligence a curse? It is for me in that insecure, uneducated men consider me a nuclear threat to their existence. That kind considers me too independent/I don't need a man (because I make more money than they do - which some men cannot accept). However, I refuse to drop my standards and values here either. Accept me as I am or get out and a prerequisite for me to date someone seriously must have a decent vocabulary, some form of education, has read books outside of comics, and can offer conversation on various topics. If I cannot meet up with that kind of man, I prefer being alone instead of settling for the village idiot who's biggest aspiration in life is to work his way up the fry line at McDonald's. | |
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| Is Intelligence A Curse In Relationships?
Posted: 7/20/2008 7:24:34 AM | | Also, for me to be turned on sexually, the man has to stimulate me intellectually. I am not talking about talking to me x-rated. Having good quality conversation, being with a mental equal is a turn on and leads to physical attraction, intimacy and good bedroom scene. Without that? No thank you! There is no turn on - nothing there to attract me to them. | |
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| Is Intelligence A Curse In Relationships?
Posted: 7/20/2008 7:31:37 AM |
being with a mental equal is a turn on and leads to physical attraction, intimacy and good bedroom scene. Without that? No thank you!
True intimacy rises out of two becoming one, at times, body, MIND, and spirit. No matter how physically attractive a woman is, if I try to discuss concepts, and she says "what does that mean?" as a typical response, it is a bar to deep intimacy. | |
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| Is Intelligence A Curse In Relationships?
Posted: 7/20/2008 7:39:41 AM | | I prefer dating those who is on the same intelligence wavelength as me. I am by no means dumb ,I can carry on a conversation about a variety of subjects ,but I feel uncomfortable around those with extreme IQ's .I dated a man with an IQ in the 170's . I felt like I had to carry around a dictonary to look up words everytime we talked . It didn't help that he used his intelligence to make me feel inferior either ,because he seemed to enjoy my obvious discomfort . He was a nutjob in sheeps clothing . but that is a whole other post . | |
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| Is Intelligence A Curse In Relationships?
Posted: 7/20/2008 8:32:58 AM | I do not believe that intelligence is a curse in a relationship. It may be a threat to one person in a relationship rather than a curse.
I believe that knowledge is a blessing in the form of an education.
I believe that insight (or a sudden coming together) is a blessing.
Learning how to read well is a blessing because reading is aided discovery without the presence of a teacher. Learn how to read well and comprehend (or grasp fully) that a word is a symbol, and that all languages are composed of symbols.
Learning how to read well is one of the keys to the development of innate ability, and the playing of a better game in life. | |
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| Is Intelligence A Curse In Relationships?
Posted: 7/20/2008 8:34:36 AM |
Education does NOT equal Intelligence.............
That I know for a fact...........
Famous quote from the Wizard of Oz to the Scarecrow:"Back where I come from, we have universities, seats of great learning, where men go to become great thinkers. And when they come out, they think deep thoughts and with no more brains than you have. But they have one thing you haven't got: a diploma." | |
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| Is Intelligence A Curse In Relationships?
Posted: 7/20/2008 8:48:50 AM | it's not smarts that's the turn-off. i love intelligent men.
it's when sexiness & common sense aren't packaged with the smarts - that is the problem. i mean, if i have a crisis & my guy doesn't know how to help - that's not cool. or if he thinks he doesn't need to comb his hair & dress with s0me sort of fashion sense, ooops. | |
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| Is Intelligence A Curse In Relationships?
Posted: 7/20/2008 9:49:20 AM |
Famous quote from the Wizard of Oz to the Scarecrow:"Back where I come from, we have universities, seats of great learning, where men go to become great thinkers. And when they come out, they think deep thoughts and with no more brains than you have. But they have one thing you haven't got: a diploma."
Actually Quietcowboy, if that was meant for me..........Yes, I do have one....thank you for asking.
Still find a lot of educated dumb counterparts around. | |
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| Is Intelligence A Curse In Relationships?
Posted: 7/20/2008 1:13:04 PM | | It seens as if many intelligent men do not prefer intelligent women, since we are harder to manipulate and do not try to manipulate them. | |
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| Is Intelligence A Curse In Relationships?
Posted: 7/20/2008 3:00:16 PM | ^^^ This is an interesting topic since the last two relationships I had were with exceptionally intelligent individuals in the academic sense .. however, emotional intelligence wasn't present. There is a huge difference, and while I admittedly do not fit into the group of academically intelligent individuals, I do fit into the emotionally intelligent.
Now .. re manipulation? Academic intelligence can be a curse in relationships IF one does not have the emotional intelligence as well, and when faced with a relationship dilemma where they need to utilize common sense and emotional intelligence, they only know how to incorporate control and manipulation instead. My last two Einsteins both thought that their superior academic intelligence would rule, but they didn't realize that there are other forms of intelligence that are far more powerful. There is something to be said about emotional intelligence because those who have it might tend to utilize more common sense instead of resorting to manipulation and control. That being said .... this is not to state that ALL exceptionally intelligent individuals are controlling or manipulative, but I've experienced this scenario twice with those two traits being very dominant and would say, yes, it can be a curse if emotional intelligence isn't present as well. You have two very different individuals incorporating black and white forms of intelligence into making something work when in actuality, they are on two entirely different playing fields. 
In direct response to the last post, I would have to reiterate my opinion as well and state that it more than likely is not the academically intelligent woman that men are afraid of because I think they DO find it highly sexy, but, it may very well be the emotionally intelligent woman who really knows wtf is going on and possibly is the flip side of the 'curse'. IMHO> only.
Thoughts, anyone? | |
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| Is Intelligence A Curse In Relationships?
Posted: 7/20/2008 3:35:59 PM |
and when they are faced with a relationship dilemma where they need to utilize common sense and emotional intelligence,
But in some instances "sense" that is not common can contribute to and solve a problem in a relationship. I don't have any examples. But still, one person may have "sense" about something, and the other person doesn't have it yet because he/she has not yet experienced it.
What is emotional intelligence? Isn't it being able to identify appropriate affect for any given circumstance that may arise? But some people don't have appropriate affect. | |
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| Is Intelligence A Curse In Relationships?
Posted: 7/20/2008 3:36:47 PM | Liana K ***
Could you explain Emotional intelligence for me. Common sense is knowledge that everyone should have a grasp of, but some do not for whatever varying reason... It's not really an emotional thing. Are you referring to an ability to intuit an answer because it FEELS right. Is this emotional intelligence. Or are you talking about relationship experience in general? | |
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