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| Is Intelligence A Curse In Relationships?
Posted: 8/10/2009 4:27:25 PM | and to add to bosox's gallery of women:
Hedy Lamarr (yes, the Hedy Lamarr - actress)
who invented 'frequency hopping', now called 'spread spectrum' , which makes all usage of all kinds of devices,from cell phones to internet communication, possible | |
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| Is Intelligence A Curse In Relationships?
Posted: 8/10/2009 5:04:21 PM | Then I guess the next Nobel winner will come from the pages of POF.
Just guessing.........................I have been wrong before................but then again, I understand why some would fall into that category. | |
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| Is Intelligence A Curse In Relationships?
Posted: 8/10/2009 6:59:20 PM |
i almost feel womens embarrassment ... why are women even commenting on this post.. men invented everything major in the history of earth.. planes, trains, cars, the engine.. .. Name one big time thing that a female invented? And I'm not talking small ones.. Im talking major inventions.. cant think of any can you? that's because they lack the IQ
IQ levels correlate to brain size.. men have bigger brains... therefore we are smarter..
 ..................................................That's so funny my eyes nearly cracked.
What I do want to comment on are the severely intelligent types. An IQ from 100-140 is pretty common (in my circle of friends anyway). But its interesting that individuals with IQ's above that usually come with some form of dementia or conflicting social quirks.
I knew one lady who's IQ was officially through the roof. She was incredibly introverted and had quirks that would make a mad scientist think he's sane. For those individuals I do think a relationship is really hard or next to impossible if it is to be with the average person. (Has anyone ever heard of Issac Newton with a date? I'm convinced he died a virgin). However, for everybody else intelligence shouldn't be an excuse. I would think that an incompatible relationship would deal more with aesthetics and the fact that the person doesn't fit one's Ideal. | |
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| Is Intelligence A Curse In Relationships?
Posted: 8/10/2009 7:55:29 PM | | Are you confusing intellectual with common sense and self worth? Because in that case... maybe they are just not settling for someone who doesn't deserve them. I don't think any intellectual woman is going to avoid an equally or even more intellectual man... I speak for myself when I say that I want someone who is on my level... and that's not just with smarts. I mean common sense, maturity, etc. | |
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| Is Intelligence A Curse In Relationships?
Posted: 8/10/2009 8:44:04 PM |
The curse is social ineptness,
Well said. Something I like to call social intelligence. The question should therefore be:
Is the lack of social intelligence a curse in relationships?
The answer is a simple yes. | |
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| Is Intelligence A Curse In Relationships?
Posted: 8/10/2009 8:58:44 PM | Wow, this is a really interesting thread.
I suppose I'll just contribute by laying out my thoughts. First of all, I've always been kind of shy in relationships with the opposite sex, and I used to feel intimidated by girls that were smarter than me. But, it was never because I didn't like them. In fact, it was the very opposite. I might have unconsciously been less open to them "because" I was wildly attracted to them. So, while I do think that intelligence, in general, will attract others, I believe that many people will avoid the very intelligent/talented in the same way and for similar reasons that they avoid the very beautiful.
- "She has a 6 digit salary, is valedictorian, is a doctor, is captain of the soccer team, is brilliant with the piano, etc. etc. , why should a loser like me talk to her?" | |
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| Is Intelligence A Curse In Relationships?
Posted: 8/10/2009 9:42:32 PM |
But its interesting that individuals with IQ's above that usually come with some form of dementia or conflicting social quirks.
What kind of social quirks do you mean? | |
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| Is Intelligence A Curse In Relationships?
Posted: 8/10/2009 9:43:49 PM | | My last LTR was very smart. 3rd in her HS class, law school grad. It was nice to have someone very bright that was on my level. Unfortunately she wasn't a very nice person. But, yes, I think a high IQ winds up eliminating the majority of the dating pool. I love smart chicks but I'm just not sure where you find them. | |
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| Is Intelligence A Curse In Relationships?
Posted: 8/10/2009 10:02:23 PM | Perhaps what you are looking at is an inability to make a decision (decide on a course of action). Intelligence may provide a wider variety of options but the choice of making or not making a decision is not necessarily tied to intelligence.
Intelligent people, like sports minded people or musically inclined individuals are more comfortable with their own kind. A sedentary individual paired with a sports fanatic is going to have issues. Similarily an intelligent person will find it stressful to be paired with a less intelligent person. The best way I can describe this is: whenever you want to say something to them you have to stop, think and translate what you are going to say into a form that makes sense to them. (This is not uncommon, I am sure most teenagers use different language with their friends than with their grandparent.)
Anyway it is boring to always drive home the same way. | |
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| Is Intelligence A Curse In Relationships?
Posted: 8/10/2009 10:06:55 PM |
i almost feel womens embarrassment ... why are women even commenting on this post.. men invented everything major in the history of earth.. planes, trains, cars, the engine.. .. Name one big time thing that a female invented? And im not talking small ones.. Im talking major inventions.. cant think of any can you? thats because they lack the IQ
IQ levels correlate to brain size.. men have bigger brains... therefore we are smarter..
You wouldn't have invented much if you had spent yoru whole life being told to get back in the kitchen, clean my shirts and keep our ten kids quiet.
You forget until 50 years ago we were discouraged from education, banned from fun jobs and had no contraception and husbands who expected sex whenever they wanted it - ergo 10 kids. 6 kids was a small family until recently.
This is a hackneyed argument that if you had any intelligence you would have seen though as a stupid put down the first time you heard it.
It's like saying a black man can't be the president because they aren't intelligent enough.
Proved you wrong though didn't he.
And as for that stupid argument that all the best chefs are men, that's because women were not allowed to be chefs. They were at home where you forced us to be. Besides, just because we didn't constantly get praise and win awards like you did doesn't mean we werent doing as good a job at home. We also did not have everyone else do the dirty boring kitchen chores while we got "creative" like you oh so grandiose chefs of yore. We didn't have someone peel the vegetables for us or empty the garbage or do the dishes so we could focus on the exciting stuff, the glory work like you chefs supreme (choke - ahem - applaud, bow, scrape).
You guys are so full of yourselves, so convinced you have been competing and winning on a level playing field. Watch what happens as a few more years roll by. All you guys insisting on false specious arguments that you are so superior will have to eat your words. We can out-compete you any day. The colleges and business are just a start. That's a fact. We are out-competing men academically and we've only been competing for about 15 years. before that girls tended to assume they would get married or at most be a secretary. That's all changed.
But what I don't understand is why you have to insist you are so superior all the time. Why take credit for all the good and noe of the responsibility for all the bad. That was you too. Your natural aggression needs checks and balances. It leads you to say things without thinking, give offense, declare war. That's what you are doing saying this shit, making your last stand but it's too late. Put your arms down and make peace why don't you for a change. Show us you can be good at being reasonable. Your track record is not good. You need practice. | |
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| Is Intelligence A Curse In Relationships?
Posted: 8/10/2009 10:10:27 PM |
i almost feel womens embarrassment ... why are women even commenting on this post.. men invented everything major in the history of earth.. planes, trains, cars, the engine.. .. Name one big time thing that a female invented? And im not talking small ones.. Im talking major inventions.. cant think of any can you? thats because they lack the IQ
IQ levels correlate to brain size.. men have bigger brains... therefore we are smarter..
You wouldn't have invented much if you had spent yoru whole life being told to get back in the kitchen, clean my shirts and keep our ten kids quiet.
You forget until 50 years ago we were discouraged from education, banned from fun jobs and had no contraception and husbands who expected sex whenever they wanted it - ergo 10 kids. 6 kids was a small family until recently.
This is a hackneyed argument that if you had any intelligence you would have seen though as a stupid put down the first time you heard it.
It's like saying a black man can't be the president because they aren't intelligent enough.
Proved you wrong though didn't he.
And as for that stupid argument that all the best chefs are men, that's because women were not allowed to be chefs. They were at home where you forced us to be. Besides, just because we didn't constantly get praise and win awards like you did doesn't mean we werent doing as good a job at home. We also did not have everyone else do the dirty boring kitchen chores while we got "creative" like you oh so grandiose chefs of yore. We didn't have someone peel the vegetables for us or empty the garbage or do the dishes so we could focus on the exciting stuff, the glory work like you chefs supreme (choke - ahem - applaud, bow, scrape).
You guys are so full of yourselves, so convinced you have been competing and winning on a level playing field. Watch what happens as a few more years roll by. All you guys insisting on false specious arguments that you are so superior will have to eat your words. We can out-compete you any day. The colleges and business are just a start. That's a fact. We are out-competing men academically and we've only been competing for about one generation. Before that girls tended to assume they would get married or at most be a secretary. That's all changed.
We are better at starting businesses too. We have a broader range of skills. A business started by a woman is four times as likely to be running five years later as one started by a man. There are lots of reasons for this but I'm already way too far off topic to list them.
Go dig a ditch. You are not very clever trust me. Put your muscles to use. That is what you are made for. Considering all the help we gave you taking care of everything at home why did you make such a mess of the world if you are so clever and didn't have to worry about any stupid distractions like laundry and cooking. Explain that.
But what I don't understand is why you have to insist you are so superior all the time. Why take credit for all the good and noe of the responsibility for all the bad. That was you too. Your natural aggression needs checks and balances. It leads you to say things without thinking, give offense, declare war. That's what you are doing saying this shit, making your last stand but it's too late. Put your arms down and make peace why don't you for a change. Show us you can be good at being reasonable. Your track record is not good. You need practice. | |
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| Is Intelligence A Curse In Relationships?
Posted: 8/10/2009 10:11:58 PM | i almost feel womens embarrassment ... why are women even commenting on this post.. men invented everything major in the history of earth.. planes, trains, cars, the engine.. .. Name one big time thing that a female invented? And im not talking small ones.. Im talking major inventions.. cant think of any can you? thats because they lack the IQ
IQ levels correlate to brain size.. men have bigger brains... therefore we are smarter..
You wouldn't have invented much if you had spent yoru whole life being told to get back in the kitchen, clean my shirts and keep our ten kids quiet.
You forget until 50 years ago we were discouraged from education, banned from fun jobs and had no contraception and husbands who expected sex whenever they wanted it - ergo 10 kids. 6 kids was a small family until recently.
This is a hackneyed argument that if you had any intelligence you would have seen though as a stupid put down the first time you heard it.
It's like saying a black man can't be the president because they aren't intelligent enough.
Proved them wrong though didn't he.
And as for that stupid argument that all the best chefs are men, that's because women were not allowed to be chefs. They were at home where you forced us to be. Besides, just because we didn't constantly get praise and win awards like you did doesn't mean we werent doing as good a job at home. We also did not have everyone else do the dirty boring kitchen chores while we got "creative" like you oh so grandiose chefs of yore. We didn't have someone peel the vegetables for us or empty the garbage or do the dishes so we could focus on the exciting stuff, the glory work like you chefs supreme (choke - ahem - applaud, bow, scrape).
You guys are so full of yourselves, so convinced you have been competing and winning on a level playing field. Watch what happens as a few more years roll by. All you guys insisting on false specious arguments that you are so superior will have to eat your words. We can out-compete you any day. The colleges and business are just a start. That's a fact. We are out-competing men academically and we've only been competing for about one generation. Before that girls tended to assume they would get married or at most be a secretary. That's all changed.
We are better at starting businesses too. We have a broader range of skills. A business started by a woman is four times as likely to be running five years later as one started by a man. There are lots of reasons for this but I'm already way too far off topic to list them.
Go dig a ditch. You are not very clever trust me. Put your muscles to use. That is what you are made for. How do you like being talked to like that huh? Considering all the help we gave you taking care of everything at home why did you make such a mess of the world if you are so clever and didn't have to worry about any stupid distractions like laundry and cooking. Explain that.
But what I don't understand is why you have to insist you are so superior all the time. Why take credit for all the good and noe of the responsibility for all the bad. That was you too. Your natural aggression needs checks and balances. It leads you to say things without thinking, give offense, declare war. That's what you are doing saying this shit, making your last stand but it's too late. Put your arms down and make peace why don't you for a change. Show us you can be good at being reasonable. Your track record is not good. You need practice. | |
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| Is Intelligence A Curse In Relationships?
Posted: 8/10/2009 10:41:37 PM | As for the "men have bigger brains" rubbish....
Some neurological research is actually leaning towards women having parts of the brain and overall proportion as much larger than men's but there's great resistance to it. Not surprisingly since most neurologists are still men.
Idiot Savant is an expression used to describe the brilliance of some autistic people - like Rain Man.
The word Savant in that expression comes from the name Marilyn Vos Savant. It's the name of the highest recorded IQ at that time in the Guinness World Records. It was a WOMAN. | |
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| Is Intelligence A Curse In Relationships?
Posted: 8/10/2009 11:07:07 PM |
i almost feel womens embarrassment ... why are women even commenting on this post.. men invented everything major in the history of earth.. planes, trains, cars, the engine.. .. Name one big time thing that a female invented? And im not talking small ones.. Im talking major inventions.. cant think of any can you? thats because they lack the IQ
IQ levels correlate to brain size.. men have bigger brains... therefore we are smarter..
You'd be better off to feel your own embarrassment, but since you obviously haven't the ability to manage it, I'll join the people who are feeling it for you.
As for your "argument", let's just say I don't want to have to be the first to explain to you why men work so hard to invent things, which, in turn, would also neatly answer the matter of why women tend not to do so. I do feel for you, however, should you live long enough that the balancing effect of socio-biological and culture effects of the last several hundred years are fully manifested. I suspect it will be a world in which you will be really quite uncomfortable.
Not to mention constantly embarrassed (even if you cannot see it). | |
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| Is Intelligence A Curse In Relationships?
Posted: 8/10/2009 11:29:56 PM | For crying out loud, neither sex is superior. Humans use only about 7-10% of their brain, and those are the smart ones. Approximately 90% of our brain is not used. Just as 97% percent of our DNA is junk. Stranger than fiction is truth. Women and men both bash each other, and until we learn that we are equally culpable & capable, we will always have this constant haranguing of each other.  | |
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| Is Intelligence A Curse In Relationships?
Posted: 8/10/2009 11:56:28 PM |
Is the lack of social intelligence a curse in relationships?
The answer is a simple yes.
That's not the point. The idea of a 'curse' of intelligence comes from the fact that the bell curve on intellect dictates that, if you want to consort with someone similarly talented, the pool of available choices is much, much smaller.
You guys are so full of yourselves
And in your defense, you commit the same error they do. 'Guys' are not the problem. Dumb guys are. The poster writing the brain claim merely displayed his lack of one. No need to get upset.
The word Savant in that expression comes from the name Marilyn Vos Savant. It's the name of the highest recorded IQ at that time in the Guinness World Records. It was a WOMAN.
Oh for goodness' sakes. Savant was a word long before Marilyn chose to take her mother's surname. Savant is from the French. Marilyn is still alive, BTW, so 'was' might upset her. A very quick search on Wikipedia would have told you all this.
Humans use only about 7-10% of their brain, and those are the smart ones. Approximately 90% of our brain is not used
This is an oooooold myth long since disproved. Again, it takes barely a few moments on the Web to find the truth, if you really care to sound as intelligent as you hope to. | |
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| Is Intelligence A Curse In Relationships?
Posted: 8/11/2009 5:27:40 AM |
when other women achieved goals they didn't
Who are you talking to. I'm an accomplished senior technology manager, have a wonderful daughter who loves me and thinks I'm a really great mom and I'm in a happy relationship. I'm very accomplished thanks - oh and I'm a great cook lol.
Bullshit is bullshit and it needs to be cleaned up.
Some people are going to take this crap to heart, let it put them down and UNDERACHIEVE because of it. I can't let an easy to expose lie do that.
Yes intelligence is a killer in a relationship with a stupid, aggressive, unreasonable person who assumes his PRIVILEGE ENTITLES him to attempt to humiliate with lies thereby brainwashing people into underestimating themselves so that he can feel SUPERIOR. | |
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jbogie
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Joined: 9/30/2008
Msg: 1372 | |
| Is Intelligence A Curse In Relationships?
Posted: 8/11/2009 6:51:09 AM |
Has anyone ever noticed, how many smart cookies are on this site? Men and Women. I for one don't think it's just a proportionate number. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe, they just naturally gravitate to the forums.
But I have read articles, that suggest, apparently many women are not particularly turned-on by intelligent men.
Are intellectual types too wrapped up in themselves, too full of themselves, in other words, too Egocentric?
What about manipulative and controlling? I think intellectuals have a great capability of manipulating and engineering a relationship, often in extremely subtle ways. And usually, I might add, resulting in failure!
Do they have unrealistic projections and expectations?
Are many intellectuals doomed to be forever frustrated, isolated and alone?
What can they do to change? A frontal lobotomy, is probably not an acceptable option!
i don't find people here that consider their "intelligence" to be some special trait to be all that intelligent. | |
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| Is Intelligence A Curse In Relationships?
Posted: 8/11/2009 12:05:36 PM |
What kind of social quirks do you mean?
This is completely subjective and the opinion of myself solely. The most profound quirk I have noticed from the incredibly intelligent is a blatant disability to be empathic. The weirdest things upset them and if a person is in pain it has to be BLATANT for them to register it. Stomaching their ranting for what they are incredibly gifted to do is a hefty task especially if the one listening is unable to understand. To be honest its as if they are aliens trying desperately hard (or not) to be human. | |
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| Is Intelligence A Curse In Relationships?
Posted: 8/11/2009 1:34:19 PM |
Who are you talking to. I'm an accomplished senior technology manager
triple post although I must say that for stupid people most things need to be said a few times lol
Guess the technology, rattled you... | |
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| Is Intelligence A Curse In Relationships?
Posted: 8/11/2009 2:06:29 PM |
You are proving me correct by this entire proclamation
Um. No. I simply pointed out errors in fact. It's sort of sad that people who can't manage to spend a little time looking information up are willing to waste time whining about being 'harangued' when all that's happened is that the false information they're trying to spread has been challenged.
The most profound quirk I have noticed from the incredibly intelligent is a blatant disability to be empathic. The weirdest things upset them and if a person is in pain it has to be BLATANT for them to register it
And how large is your sample group, exactly?
Have you heard of Asperger's syndrome? Autism? You might want to have a look at the information about them. | |
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