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| Is Intelligence A Curse In Relationships?
Posted: 8/11/2009 2:58:54 PM | | Taking this back to relationships. I started seeing someone, we get along well enough. But, she was concerned about conintuing it because I'm smarter then her. Her words, not my own. So, there is an example of intelligence killing a "relationship". | |
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| Is Intelligence A Curse In Relationships?
Posted: 8/11/2009 3:32:19 PM | Gadgetdoc wrote:
Taking this back to relationships. I started seeing someone, we get along well enough. But, she was concerned about conintuing it because I'm smarter then her. Her words, not my own. So, there is an example of intelligence killing a "relationship".
Sorry, Gadgetdoc, I think that A LACK of intelligence killed that budding relationship. I've seen this dumbing down to the lowest common denominator all my life. Folk distrust, dislike, etc., things or people better or smarter than themselves and they can't have that..
Witness all the "hate the rich" talk or bask the wealthy histrionics we've let fester in this society. Or dumbing down our school curricula by eliminating gifted programs.
No, you just met up with a person who is envious of your excellent mind and are probably the better for her departure.
Personally, I desire a woman who is at least as smart as myself. A woman who can teach me a thing or two would be a gift. A woman who has excelled in areas away from my expertise would be a blessing. A woman who could and would be a teacher. In love.
TK
{don't know it all, and have learned over time how true that is} | |
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| Is Intelligence A Curse In Relationships?
Posted: 8/11/2009 5:07:33 PM | This question has been haunting me for some time. Thank you for bringing it up. I suppose there are some who would use their I.Q. to manipulate others. But for me, it's a matter of over-analyzing people, situations, feeling, etc., in search of answers. Do I really need these answers? Romance shouldn't be a puzzle.
Communication is the cornerstone of any relationship, unfortunately, a quick wit can appear cruel, dry humor can be taken out of context and subtle quips can go over a date's head. Eventually, "simpler folk" are afraid to talk to you. | |
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| Is Intelligence A Curse In Relationships?
Posted: 8/11/2009 5:37:24 PM | | So many intelligent people have written about how hard it is for the smarter onein the relationship. I would be interested in the opposite point of view that has been underrepresented here. Can we please have a few stupid people reply now so the thread becomes more balanced? Thank you... | |
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| Is Intelligence A Curse In Relationships?
Posted: 8/11/2009 5:44:04 PM |
Three similar posts...Senior Technology Manager...Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiight!
If that's all you guys have for a comeback...... no wonder.
Anyway, I manage mostly global software implementations. I have about 300 people working on my teams - about 35 direct reports. We are implementing a system to automate 140 billion in annual payments from the company I work for to it's vendors in Singapore, Yemen, UK, Nigeria, Colombia, US, Canada and Norway. It's the top project in the whole company. We are on schedule and on budget. This is one of 4 projects that I lead right now. I'm not going to bother nit picking multiple posts on a very rudimentary website that's not my responsibility and I'm not getting paid for now am I. | |
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| Is Intelligence A Curse In Relationships?
Posted: 8/11/2009 6:10:24 PM |
Humans use only about 7-10% of their brain, and those are the smart ones. Approximately 90% of our brain is not used.
That's a popular myth, but not true.
http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=do-we-really-use-only-10
So many intelligent people have written about how hard it is for the smarter onein the relationship. I would be interested in the opposite point of view that has been underrepresented here. Can we please have a few stupid people reply now so the thread becomes more balanced? Thank you...
Hahahahahahahaha.  | |
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| Is Intelligence A Curse In Relationships?
Posted: 8/11/2009 6:44:47 PM | @Merrylass
And how large is your sample group, exactly?
I was replying to a post about my opinion regarding the severely intelligent or severely skilled. That is why I began the paragraph saying:
This is completely subjective and the opinion of myself solely.
You then said:
Have you heard of Asperger's syndrome? Autism? You might want to have a look at the information about them.
I've looked up quiet a lot about it. Especially the case of Daniel Tammet. My original point was that the incredibly intelligent usually suffer from a low social intelligence. It could be expressed in the form of dementia or personality disorders. Its interesting that many great achievers (Thelonias Monk, Nicola Tesla, Micheal Faraday,...) suffered from some sort of mental or personality ailment. | |
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| Is Intelligence A Curse In Relationships?
Posted: 8/11/2009 8:07:15 PM | [if you want to consort with someone similarly talented, the pool of available choices is much, much smaller.]
Of course, that it true, but the curse is not, then, the talent. The curse is being willing only to consort with someone similarly talented, ie. social ineptness. If all artists, musicians, etc. sought only those similarly talented to have relationships with , they'd have the same problem, don't you think? Your pool gets smaller as your mind narrows. Not much to do with IQ, but breadth of "mindedness" shall we say? | |
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| Is Intelligence A Curse In Relationships?
Posted: 8/11/2009 8:24:14 PM | If you are posting your own opinion, then statemetnts like "the incredibly intelligent usually suffer from a low social intelligence" should not be stated as though they are definitive fact.
And since it's just your opinion, why bother offering it? It could be my opinion that people who post to forums all hate watermelon. I'd be incorrect and it would be pointless to post it since it's incorrect.
I'll say it again: opinions about issues which have been studied and about which there are facts and proofs available are irrelevant and, therefore, a waste of everybody's time. | |
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| Is Intelligence A Curse In Relationships?
Posted: 8/11/2009 8:26:01 PM | Bandito
I don't post to change the minds of guys who who insist they are superior. It would be futile. They don't make a habit of using their minds otherwise they wouldn't be like that in the first place.
I share information with women so that they can better stand up to the put downs - if they want to. | |
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| Is Intelligence A Curse In Relationships?
Posted: 8/11/2009 8:26:42 PM | Bandito
I don't post to change the minds of guys who who insist they are superior. It would be futile. They don't make a habit of using their minds otherwise they wouldn't be so obnoxious in the first place.
I share information with women so that they can better stand up to the put downs - if they want to. | |
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| Is Intelligence A Curse In Relationships?
Posted: 8/11/2009 8:27:07 PM | Bandito
I don't post to change the minds of guys who who insist they are superior. It would be futile. They don't make a habit of using their minds otherwise they wouldn't be so obnoxious in the first place.
I share information with people so that they can better stand up to the put downs - if they want to. | |
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| Is Intelligence A Curse In Relationships?
Posted: 8/11/2009 8:27:28 PM | Bandito
I don't post to change the minds of guys who who insist they are superior. It would be futile. They don't make a habit of using their minds otherwise they wouldn't be so obnoxious in the first place.
I share information with people so that they can better stand up to the put downs in their own minds - if they want to. | |
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| Is Intelligence A Curse In Relationships?
Posted: 8/11/2009 8:45:08 PM |
But its interesting that individuals with IQ's above that usually come with some form of dementia or conflicting social quirks.
They do?
As it happens, I do know some brilliant people, and they are not demented. They have no social quirks either, although one of them is very quiet at social functions.
Do you have proof of what you claim?
Imagine that...and someone who can't even post correctly
LMAO
Maybe try to figure out the quote feature before you go bashing other poster's technical skills. | |
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| Is Intelligence A Curse In Relationships?
Posted: 8/11/2009 9:02:24 PM |
Taking this back to relationships. I started seeing someone, we get along well enough. But, she was concerned about conintuing it because I'm smarter then her. Her words, not my own. So, there is an example of intelligence killing a "relationship".
The last person I met from this site felt intimidated by my intelligence, like she had to keep up or something. It's really not like that for me. I've given up on meeting a woman with even one of my disciplines, but it'd be nice just once to get more than a blank stare into space. My own preferences really seem more of the artistic variety as an inspiration to my own creations. Attracting a brilliant woman even within a 50 mile radius is pretty rare, but a woman with a good heart and ethics... Wait. That's a bit difficult also... | |
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| Is Intelligence A Curse In Relationships?
Posted: 8/11/2009 10:37:34 PM |
Sshhhhhh - he has a wee-wee.
*awed silence*
Really? Are you sure? I'll have to take your word for it. Must be it's smaller than women's brains.
I nominate him for this years' No Bell Prize in Resentment.
On topic...is intelligence a curse in relationships? Not that I ever noticed. It's been my personal longstanding experience that similar levels and type of intelligence seem to make for the most stable relationships.
Cindy O | |
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| Is Intelligence A Curse In Relationships?
Posted: 8/11/2009 11:02:48 PM |
Do you have proof of what you claim?
William Sidis - The guy had serious personality disorders.
Nicola Tesla - Obsessive Compulsive disorder as well as a host of others.
Michael Faraday - Dyslexia
Thelonius monk -Asperger's syndrome
Daniel Tammet - Autistic Savant
Winston Churchill - Bipolar disorder
Abraham Lincoln - Depression
Isaac Newton - Believed to have Bi polar disorder / Asperger's syndrome and a host of others.
Albert Einstein - A study by Cambridge and oxford shows that he may have had Asperger's Syndrome
John Nash (a beautiful mind) - Schizophrenia
....ect. And that's just to name a few.
As it happens, I do know some brilliant people, and they are not demented. They have no social quirks either, although one of them is very quiet at social functions.
Indeed there are many brilliant people without social quirks. However if you study the most influential and most profound of geniuses then you will find a correlation between mental illness and their brilliance. Those are the class of people I was referring too.
If you are posting your own opinion, then statemetnts like "the incredibly intelligent usually suffer from a low social intelligence" should not be stated as though they are definitive fact.
Firstly:
Forum: A medium for open discussion or voicing of ideas, such as a newspaper, a radio or television program, or a website.
Secondly
Idea: An opinion, conviction, or principle: has some strange political ideas.
It would seem from the definition of a forum opinions are very much allowed. Also it is well within my rights to express such opinions regardless if a person finds it helpful or not (free speech).
Lastly:
The statement "the incredibly intelligent usually suffer from a low social intelligence". Is based upon a factual observation. The statement is not definitive as I made use of the word "usually". Implying that the set of "severely intelligent" (being the ones who are well over societal norms for proficiency in a certain area or skill and are far less than 0.01% of the population) have a majority of their population that are inflicted with some sort of mental ailment.
For further information please visit these websites:
http://news-service.stanford.edu/news/2002/june12/crazy_genius.html
http://www.canada.com/health/Genetic+link+between+mental+illness+creativity+Study/1808555/story.html
http://www.oflikeminds.com/GeniusMentalIllness.htm
There are also many books at the library and Amazon which address the issue to which I drew my conclusion from. | |
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| Is Intelligence A Curse In Relationships?
Posted: 8/11/2009 11:02:54 PM | "Can we please have a few stupid people reply now so the thread becomes more balanced?"
Thank you, balance is restored. Dilbert votes for the four managers who posted the same thing, and he reminds you that there is no 'I' in 'team'... | |
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| Is Intelligence A Curse In Relationships?
Posted: 8/12/2009 1:24:00 AM | I'm intelligent myself
Isn't that a requirement of being human?
The statement "the incredibly intelligent usually suffer from a low social intelligence". Is based upon a factual observation. The statement is not definitive as I made use of the word "usually". Implying that the set of "severely intelligent" (being the ones who are well over societal norms for proficiency in a certain area or skill and are far less than 0.01% of the population) have a majority of their population that are inflicted with some sort of mental ailment.
You know, I don't honestly believe that all of these people were definitely mentally ill, sometimes the things that doctors cannot understand get categorized into mental illnesses, all of which fall into the categories of social disorders, panic disorders, anxiety disorders, mood disorders and psychotic disorders.
I have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, and I have studied it to the nth degree and have come to the conclusion that I most definitely am not bipolar. When I was taking the medications they prescribed to "fix" me, I tried to kill myself because my mind felt dead and empty.
That which someone is unable to comprehend or abstractly hypothesize about is generally given an answer that is readily available and fits as well as possible under a mental illness or with divinity and mysticism.
An ex of mine once asked me, "What is wrong with you? Why do you feel the need to know the answers to everything, why do you need to figure out how everything works? Can't you just accept that some things just 'are'?" I responded by crying and never returning his phone calls, but in hind-sight, I know how I felt like responding. Of course, I accept that some things just are, in the universe and nature. But if there is an answer I need it, if there is knowledge to be found, I will find it, and it's a strong part of the fiber of my being. I feel like there is something wrong with people who do not feel this way. I feel that there is something wrong with people who will just accept whatever fits within a model even if there is doubt, I don't understand how people do not have working theories on anything that they question, or of anything that leaves doubt in their mind.
If I said that I observed that all of the people with average-low-range geniuses were likely mentally ill, I would be verbally accosted. Even though it's true, since most of the general population falls into this category. Think about that. | |
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| Is Intelligence A Curse In Relationships?
Posted: 8/12/2009 2:58:52 AM | ^^^I have a theory.
But if there is an answer I need it, if there is knowledge to be found, I will find it, and it's a strong part of the fiber of my being. I feel like there is something wrong with people who do not feel this way.
That is what I would call a base belief system. It dictates every aspect of your life. My theory is that incompatible base belief systems cannot coexist without mutual respect and understanding. Compare it to this comment:
All I want to be is just happy...
Are the two belief systems compatible? I imagine that a person who just wants to be happy won't care much for finding things out. A person who has a strong will to find things out won't care much or settle for just being happy. The two belief systems are at odds and likely to conflict.
Now how many people on the face of this planet can say they harbor a strong desire to find things out regardless of being happy? If we look at the economy its obvious that the majority will go out of their way to relax and be happy (hollywood, mtv,...ect.). But how many people are going to libraries just for the fun of finding things out (There's an awesome book called "The Pleasure of Finding Things Out" I recommend everybody to read)?
My theory is that the manifestations of mental illness within the highly intelligent community is due to social disorders or "misunderstandings" brought on by the inability for the highly intelligent belief systems to relate with the belief systems of the majority. It can be a lonely place for the person who doesn't think and operate like the vast majority of humanity. I know because I spent the whole of my school life being told that I wasn't normal and should see a councilor (I think they thought I was mad but never once did I think that I was abnormal). Nevertheless, it is apparent (especially to neuroscientists) that intelligence isn't as simple as it first seems. Personally I believe the difference between the highly intelligent and a normal professional isn't IQ or the like. I believe it is the type of base belief system that "needs an answer".
That which someone is unable to comprehend or abstractly hypothesize about is generally given an answer that is readily available and fits as well as possible under a mental illness or with divinity and mysticism.
Law of human nature #3
Humans are beings of reason. To every effect there must be a cause. To every cause a reason. A reason without the scientific method is still a reason and in most cases its all the reason a human needs. | |
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| Is Intelligence A Curse In Relationships?
Posted: 8/12/2009 3:58:51 AM | Tarnished Night:
First Thank-you. However, I don't believe her departure had anything to do with envy, but more intimadation. She had a preception that she wouldn't be able to keep up with me. Which, is silly because it isn't a foot race. I thought she was pretty and charming it is unfournate. So like the Artist fellow, that appears to be the problem. So I want to kinda ask this, instead of intelligence being the problem, could it be your partners preiception of trying to keep up that is the problem? Bright or not so bright isn't the issue with me; what I really want is someone open to new ideas, and empathic. | |
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| Is Intelligence A Curse In Relationships?
Posted: 8/12/2009 4:07:23 AM | Bosox, and Exogenst:
Mental illness, has very little to do with intelligence. It is usally an imblanace of nero-chemicals. A subject which I have learned quite a bit about since my brain injury. Case in point there was a fellow in the 1800's that had a rail-road spike go through is head into his brain. Before the accident a charming well liked fellow, after which he became a jerk. He had to same level of cognition as before the incident. So really these issues are mutual exclusive. You can also look at socio-paths that are brilliant, but have no regaurd for humanity. Then you have Narrisic Personality disorder which person tries to sound accomplished and brilliant to cover their low self image and esteem. I could go on but I must depart for work. Have a good one all. I will try to return this evening. | |
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