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| Help Needed
Posted: 1/1/2007 5:25:09 PM | Oh why not...nothing ventured...nothing gained  I like brutal honesty! | |
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| I'll review your profile...you won't regret it, part 2
Posted: 1/2/2007 12:28:24 AM | Lets hear it
Tear me down
Build me up
and all those other things people type to try to entice you to review them.
You will most likely be my last post for a review (I was thinking of opening my own review thread..I almost never sleep and people need reviews at 4am as well right??)
Anyways Hope to hear from you soon
Cheers | |
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| hey
Posted: 1/2/2007 3:23:17 AM | | Can you review my profile when you have the time as well dude? Thanks a lot :-) | |
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| Help Needed
Posted: 1/2/2007 6:56:44 PM | nascar3fan,
Crap, you weren't kidding.
I'm not going to even pretend to know what it's like to be in your situation or even bring up the fact that I have "Murderball" in my DVD collection or...crap, I did it anyway. But, you acknowledge the whole walking on egg-shells thing that us "non-wheeled" people tend to go through, which is a plus. But, as long as you're cool and not self-pitying, I'm not gonna pity either.
You come across as very positive with a great sense of humour to boot. Highly intelligent, open minded, politically aware (I hate Wal-Mart too...oh hey, they have 6 packs of underwear on sale! oh wait...), and not afraid to tell it as it is. Even though you are looking for just "friends" on this site, you could easily go for more with this.
I'm not a huge fan of the point form list style of profiles, but you have enough good material that it's interesting. Still, I do prefer what you have written in your paragraphs above. Perhaps you could consider taking your favourite points and putting them into paragraph format?
There is at least one contradiction...you say that you don't do drugs, but you have "4:20" referenced in your list of references.
If you're looking for stuff to trim, you can cut down your point form list by removing redundant entries (ie: stuff that's already addressed at the top of the profile) and by taking out the unnecessary entries in the interest section ("fun", "knowledge", "humour"...everybody pursues these things, so it's not that imperative to have in your profile).
Good work!
NoMoreRegrets | |
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| Help Needed
Posted: 1/2/2007 7:00:54 PM | minx2,
It's a little bit too short for me to offer anything meaningful, especially since you've just reiterated your list of interests in the first one and a half sentences. So, as my oft-given advice goes (seriously, go into the previous reviews)...
-Show don't tell, and no more subjective buzzwords like "affectionate" and "spontaneous" without backing them up.
-More photo variety, preferably with you engaged in more active interests.
-More text = more personality. This is highly cut-and-dry and tells me absolutely nothing.
-NoMoreRegrets | |
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| Help Needed
Posted: 1/2/2007 7:09:28 PM | 43_and_free,
Honesty, a sense of humour, and the fact that you can write and spell (nothing major or glaring) are all things that are helping you in the right direction. A few things really should be addressed, though.
-Anything with a negative tone should be reworded. You mention your job, which I'm *guessing* is unionized (if it's government), which would probably pay a decent amount. But, since the job does "stink", you can have a lot more fun with the way you word it. Or, have at least one photo of you clean shaven and wearing a suit and tie while taking out the trash. Or SOMETHING.
-There are a few phrases that may be interpreted as mooch-potential, such as your thing about "If you have a boat" and a copy of the latest Dean Koontz (that's what libraries are for). Ditch those, seriously.
-Don't say what you aren't doing well, but say what you're improving at and have fun doing.
-More photo variety, please.
-Last thing: watch the time sensitivity. 43_and_free is indicitive of your age, but if you're going to be on here for a while, you'll need a new user name after a year, tops.
-NoMoreRegrets | |
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| Help Needed
Posted: 1/2/2007 7:22:23 PM | crissypooh777,
Critiquing...yeah, I think you got that right.
It's not bad...you have creative and active interests, have most of your spelling and grammar intact, and you're (according to what you SAY) not in "need" of anyone. You've buzzworded a bit here and there (refer to previous reviews), but you've backed up most of 'em.
Specific critiques:
-The conversational tone suggests a fun-loving attitude, but when written in this way (written-out oral sounds such as "woohoo" and "ummmmmm") lowers the maturity rating. Consider WHO you're writing for, figure out how to appeal to those individuals, and write accordingly.
-"Separated" and seeking "Long Term" may come across as a red flag to some, just be aware of that.
-I'm not sure if I need a photo of your cat. Maybe a photo of you HOLDING your cat?
-Your squishy-face photo is not that flattering...maybe you were trying to go for cute and goofy, but you may wish to try something else (funny poses and situations are always preferable to those that change the shape of your face).
-NoMoreRegrets | |
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| Help Needed
Posted: 1/2/2007 7:28:39 PM | sheerfantazy,
Yeah, and nothing lost either! Just kidding.
You photograph fairly well and you have enough maturity and experience to know what you want and how to get it. A few things that I'd like to point out...
-Avoid ANYTHING that can be construed as negative. A little demanding...well, considering that you're largely in control when it comes to who you choose to contact, you can largely ignore anyone who's a biker boy (or not). But, like I've said a buncha times...ATTRACTION IS NOT A CHOICE. Who knows? Maybe an occasional biker boy who makes his living as a lawyer defending the common good might be interested, but hey, you said NO lawyers, NO biker types. And they went off and married someone else.
-Please copy and paste this into Word to fix spelling (there are a few typoes), and please, no IM shorthands such as "LOL".
-More searchable interests, please. You only have three interests, although technically it's one, and it's not searchable. The edit profile section will tell you the proper way to list them out.
-NoMoreRegrets
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| I'll review your profile...you won't regret it, part 2
Posted: 1/2/2007 7:42:30 PM | frenschkiss,
Sure, anything to help out someone from my old hometown.
I'm guessing that you are already aware that your username is mispelt, so I'll move on from that.
Your profile shows someone who's compassionate, sensitive, mature, and responsible. The fact that you work in the film industry means weird hours and a complex juggling act with family and work, but it looks like you got it nailed so far. Always a plus.
Some things worth noting:
-You've listed "prefer not to say" under body type, but you go ahead and say it in the body of the profile...
-A few more searchable interests wouldn't hurt. Note that your last phrase ends up pushing everything out of alignment (presentation counts!).
-I'm not a huge emoticon fan, especially since they push text out of alignment. You've kept it 'til the end, which is good, but just be aware of what it does.
-I would avoid negativity ("...need not apply"). That, and most people don't see themselves as X anyway, so you can't really tell until you meet them.
-NoMoreRegrets | |
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| I'll review your profile...you won't regret it, part 2
Posted: 1/2/2007 7:54:12 PM | devil's advocate1,
Go ahead, but be aware of what you're getting into for reviewing. This is like the sixth review I've done in a row and my wrists are starting to HURT!
Certainly not bad, in that it depicts someone with goals, a sense of humour, standards, is laid back, and photographs okay. "Comfortable", in a word.
However, a few things of note:
-There is a lack of sense of seriousness, considering your age, which may rule out undergrad students, professionals, and the like.
-You repeatedly state that you aren't materialistic and are a total t-shirt and jeans type of guy. This is okay, but at a certain point, when you're called into meet the parents, are you able to "clean up" as it were? You may wish to consider this.
-"...not to put anyone’s taste in men down". If that's the case, then don't. The paragraph is sorta unnecessary and fairly negative. You aren't going to score any points for knocking others down either.
-NoMoreRegrets | |
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| I'll review your profile...you won't regret it, part 2
Posted: 1/2/2007 8:07:43 PM | OzSeptember,
You have active interests, community involvement, goals, and an effort towards self improvement. Otherwise, it comes across as fairly cold and impersonal, especially with the point-form lists. You certainly list of all the facts, but that's all you do, and you don't really open up (which probably ties in with your shy-and-introverted nature), but people are drawn to people who are at least able to make an effort.
But then, like you said..."but in the end none of the above really counts, we need to chat and/or meet in person and see how things go." So, they need to see past ALL of this first and it's just not that inviting.
Something to punch it up...some anecdotes, some jokes, just something to make this profile seem a little more fun. More photos perhaps? And please, a more detailed first date section. It also conveys a lack of imagination.
-NoMoreRegrets | |
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| hey
Posted: 1/2/2007 8:16:43 PM | ankitj2,
Anything to help out a local.
So, let's get down to it...you're kinda young, so you still got lots of time to figure this out on your own, but it's not bad. The photos are fun, goofy and convey a personality to match. I'm not sure if photos of OTHER people in your profile are necessarily a good thing, even if they are friends of yours (that way, you won't have to explain it), so you may wish to address that at some point.
Also...
-After the photo of you appearing to be intoxicated (you are holding a beer), you follow it up with a photo of you eating breakfast with another beer, which I'm guessing is occurring at Denny's, and anyone who's been in the area long enough knows the clientele of Denny's (usually people trying to fight off the munchies or a bad hangover). But then, these are all assumptions, and if *I* assumed this when I'm doing a review, what will others think? It's certainly fun and goofy, and given your age bracket, I wouldn't put it past you, but it's worth considering.
-If you don't need a spell check, your spelling had better be accurate. You at least one apostrophe in "don't" and a whole bunch of hyphens (any time you have a two-worded adjective, it has to be hyphenated).
-Watch your buzzwords (see previous reviews for more detail).
-NoMoreRegrets | |
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| I'll review your profile...you won't regret it, part 2
Posted: 1/2/2007 8:22:42 PM | JJustinn,
Another local. Where are you people coming from?!
Another youngin, so there's still lots of stuff you can figure out on your own, but you do come across as fun-loving and intelligent without being geeky (game design? cool!). The pimp suit is frickin' awesome.
That being said...
-"Prefer not to say" = YES.
-More interests, and searchable ones.
-More detail, please. If they gotten past the Chuck Norris quotes, then they don't have much where else to go.
-And what are you so pissed off about? That's what it looks like in your main photo. And your second photo. And now that I'm taking a closer look at your third photo, that one too. More photos, preferably of you SMILING and doing more active things (playing guitar, doing sports, etc.).
-And there are NO good restaurants in walking distance from New West. Unless you were trying to make a joke...
-NoMoreRegrets | |
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| I'll review your profile...you won't regret it, part 2
Posted: 1/2/2007 8:31:56 PM | asmuchasyouwant,
With only four lines, I really don't have a lot to work with, except PLEASE READ THE GUIDELINES AND TIPS AT THE TOP OF THE FORUM. On the plus side, you have a good second photo (switch this to have this as your main, because the wifebeater shirt photo is not in focus and just screams trailer park). You do have a lot of good interests, although remove the non-searchable ones and make sure that they're interests.
More specifics though...
-Nobody over the age of 23 should ever use "LOL" in a profile.
-Avoid putting other contact information in your profile...this may actually be a violation of terms of service.
-More photos, preferably with you engaged in your interests, like playing guitar, painting/drawing something, etc.
-Please fix spelling (it's "a lot", not "alot") and do not use subjective buzzwords. "Passionate", "interesting" and the like tell us absolutely nothing until you say WHY you can be considered these things.
-More text gives us a better idea of your personality.
-NoMoreRegrets | |
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| I'll review your profile...you won't regret it, part 2
Posted: 1/2/2007 8:43:20 PM | redheadeddevilwoman,
Okay, last one for the night. It's only physically possible to do this for so long before I get the urge to put a plastic bag over my head and suck real hard.
Overall, not bad. Fearless, mature, responsible, active, and good photo variety. Not necessarily what *I* go for, but for the right type of person, it's great. Some things of note...
-Maybe I'm going colourblind, but your hair looks sorta brown in the photos. Okay, just nitpicking.
-Use of subjective buzzwords (please refer to previous reviews for more details)
-Use of emoticons (please refer to previous reviews for more details)
-Use of negative phrasing that could be reworded in a positive way (please refer to previous reviews for more details).
-NoMoreRegrets | |
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| I'll review your profile...you won't regret it, part 2
Posted: 1/3/2007 8:09:44 AM | NoMoreRegrets,
I would be most appreciative if you would give my profile a look over. I do realize that my user name and headline may leave something to be desired, but this changes on a regular basis depending on my mood.
It is the body I wonder about, I have had it reviewed in another thread and am just looking for some additional, unbiased feedback.
Thank you in advance,
~Happy Bunny~ | |
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| I'll review your profile...you won't regret it, part 2
Posted: 1/3/2007 5:40:47 PM | jimmy20013,
This isn't bad and there isn't anything horribly glaring in this. Your spelling is mostly intact, although there are a few things that aren't necessarily the way I would do it. But, your headline is sorta funny, although it's a little bit too obvious.
The opening paragraph makes me pause, although it appears that you're trying to make a joke, although it may have fallen flat. That, and I can't shake the feeling that I've read it somewhere.
Just a minor grammatical glitch between subject and verb agreement in these sentences: "The FAA Examiner got drunk one day and gave me my Commercial Pilot's License. So I am trying to do something worthwhile with it and finishing college at the same time."
You may wish to revise as:
"The FAA Examiner got drunk one day and gave me my Commercial Pilot's License, so I am trying to do something worthwhile with it and finish college at the same time."
(Second sentence is a sentence fragment, "finishing" is the wrong verb form to go with "I am trying to").
-NoMoreRegrets | |
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| I'll review your profile...you won't regret it, part 2
Posted: 1/3/2007 5:46:00 PM | ~Happy Bunny~,
Okay, ignoring the username and headline.
I'm not really sure what I can say about this that can really get you more hits or responses. It appears that your justification for selecting "seeking friends" is an attempt to weed people out, and I don't think it's necessary, but then, I also realize that there are a lot of people who don't know how to read on POF.
I think you meant to say "real-life" rather than "real live".
As for what to add - it's all about showing and not telling. "Down to earth" is so done to death, unless you can back it up somehow. More photo variety would probably help too...they all appear to be taken at the same time (you're wearing the same outfit in every picture).
-NoMoreRegrets | |
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| I'll review your profile...you won't regret it, part 2
Posted: 1/3/2007 6:36:22 PM | NoMoreRegrets,
I thank you very much for your time and will take your suggestion to get some more photos. As for your thoughts on my attempts to weed people out, you are exactly right, so I am thinking my profile is working the way I wish it too. Also thank you on the spelling correction I will see to it immediately.
Once again thank you sincerely for your time, it is much appreciated.
~HB~ | |
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