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| I'll review your profile...you won't regret it, part 2
Posted: 1/3/2007 10:43:53 PM | Hey do mine! =D
I ended up doing a massive ramble rather then a real profile as such, still I'd like to know what everyone / anyone things about it.
Not that I'm gonna change it... but still ;) | |
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| I'll review your profile...you won't regret it, part 2
Posted: 1/3/2007 11:56:54 PM | Did_I_Dream_It,
Just a couple before I go to bed...it's almost midnight, so just point form and I'm gonna ignore all the formalities.
-Typoes, typoes, typoes. "Photography" (the scary part is that enough people have mispelled it to the point that it's actually a searchable interest), "there's" (abbreviation for "there is"...come to think of it, you missed a whole whack of apostrophes), "basically", "than" (rather than "then"), "Gnarls Barkley", "Eternal Sunshine of *THE* Spotless Mind", "Lord of the *RINGS*". It's all details.
-Overall, this is highly disorganized and it is a ramble, like you said. Decide what is the most important and tells us the most about you, and get rid of the rest. Since you have so much to read and a ton of it is irrelevant (to most of us, anyway), a lot are just gonna gloss over (even more so with the lack of photo).
-More interests, more photos. "Women" as an interest? Sorta redundant.
Since you're only looking for friends, I guess this is okay, but if yer just gonna ramble, then you're gonna bore a few people.
-NoMoreRegrets | |
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| I'll review your profile...you won't regret it, part 2
Posted: 1/4/2007 12:12:00 AM | 2fordinner,
Me, I correspond first, see if there's anything in common, and then ask. Or, you could be a complete hottie like myself and the ladies come to me. Uhh...yyyyyeah, that's it.
Back to you...
This isn't really bad, in that you come across as highly energetic and fun to be with, and you have a lot of active interests. However, much of the grammar and spelling is really off. Lots of sentence fragments, typos ("truly", "develops" "something", "friends"...and that's just in the first paragraph!). Maybe English isn't your first language, but still, it's something that should be addressed.
I'm not sure if I need THAT much detail in the first date section, because it actually sorta reads like you've already planned your future together. It's sorta scary. But then, you did qualify your reasoning for putting that down.
It sorta feels like you're trying to do too much too fast. Take it down a notch, and see where that takes you.
-NoMoreRegrets | |
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| Wreck It
Posted: 1/4/2007 7:38:12 PM | | alright i think i'm game again man! Have at it. | |
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| I'll review your profile...you won't regret it, part 2
Posted: 1/4/2007 10:57:21 PM | ineedawifey,
This profile portrays a sense of humour, a happy-go-lucky attitude, and generally a cool dude. I like how your first date is quick and to the point, which is actually sorta funny and portrays a youthful exuberance. I like the photo of you reading - makes you look intelligent.
Some things that really need to be addressed, though...
-You label yourself as a non-smoker, but you have a cigarette in your mouth in one photo.
-Too many of your photos are taken with a cellphone camera in front of a mirror. Howabout pictures in a more natural environment, preferably with you doing stuff that you like? Your closeup photo (3/4 view) is the clearest and the best of them all...use this as your main.
-I'm weary of photos with members of the opposite sex on each arm.
-SPELLING, PLEASE! Bad spelling and grammar seriously downgrades the intelligence level. Copy and paste this into MSWord and run the spellcheck. And on top of that, you used the American spelling of "humour."
-Please refer to previous reviews for excessive buzzwords (your second line...the words mean nothing without backup. SHOW, don't tell. Show don't tell...)
-I don't know what to think about your second last line ("rather be single"), although your number of favourites might indicate that it's not working. Give anyone an out, and they're going to take it.
-NoMoreRegrets | |
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| I'll review your profile...you won't regret it, part 2
Posted: 1/4/2007 11:19:11 PM | LOL thanks for the profile review.
And favorites list mean nothing as messages with girls usually go from here to msn within 3 to 4 messages. Just because I dont ask ppl to add me it doesent mean I dont get girls off this. And about that 'rather be single' part. I cant take it out cause its the truth, I met a million girls off here but these days its not about quantity, its about quality. Girls dont like needy guys.
And the Charlie Angels pic. It gets mixed reviews. | |
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| I'll review your profile...you won't regret it, part 2
Posted: 1/4/2007 11:40:55 PM | thedemonswhip,
I don't really know what to do with this. Minimal content in your about me section, TWO generic interests, and a photo of you looking at a woman in a bikini. What else can I say? Harsh? Okay.
-All you've done is buzzword in your "about me" section, which tells us nothing. Generally, if you have this little content in your about me section, I woulda just told you straight up that I wasn't going to bother reviewing your profile.
-You look stoned in your third photograph.
-You have a sufficient first date section, and it does show that you have a sense of humour, although I would hazzard to guess that the number of favourites would indicate that it's not quite working.
But all in all, it very much appears to be exactly what you wanted to do (that, and I'm not sure that you'd take any of my suggestions seriously, given your tone in your forum posts).
-NoMoreRegrets | |
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| Wreck It
Posted: 1/4/2007 11:45:34 PM | draconus_185,
Last one and I'm going to sleep.
Okay, you got rid of the IM shorthands. Good. Oh, wait, never mind, you left in an LOL. You left in the joke I suggested removing, okay fine.
Crap, I'm tired, I'll take another look tomorrow.
To be continued...
-NoMoreRegrets | |
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| Wreck It
Posted: 1/5/2007 12:33:19 PM | dragonus_185,
Okay, fresh eyes.
You made a few changes and you gotten rid of the negativity and most of the internet shorthand ("LOL" shouldn't be necessary if it's clear from the tone that it's a joke), which is good. There were a couple things that I missed the first time, which you could probably benefit from.
The jokes have definitely gotten worse this time around (which you've acknowledged), which may have a certain amount of charm to it, depending on the person. Some people might go for it, others may not. It all depends on who you're trying to woo. But cyou left in the balding joke (which is pretty crude by most standards).
Maybe you're trying to weed people out with this. But, the way I got it figured, while your profile should not be expected to appeal to everyone, it should not function to weed people out either. As it's been said multiple times, we don't get to choose attraction. When that day finally comes, we won't ever have to hear the women say the words, "Why can't I just find a nice guy?". This goes for EVERYBODY, not just you.
Photos: for a moment, I was actually thinking that the main subject of photo #4 was you (black shirt), but then I realized that you were creeping in on the left edge of the photo. This could be perceived as misleading, because I was initially going to suggest making this your main pic.
Jokes are a good tool to use, but a lot of them tend to be overused and just tossed in for their own sake. Jokes can never be a substitute for wit, which isn't necessarily innate, but can be developed with practice and time. You clearly do have a sense of humour - just keep writing. I hear it repeatedly - "I suck at writing." There was a time at which I did to, and in some respects, there's things that I want to improve (verbosity, for one). But, practice in multiple mediums, such as a weblog, get feedback, and you'll figure it out.
Spelling is still a bit of a mess (and you're using American spelling on "humour" and "favour"), so please copy and paste this into Word and run spellcheck before posting.
-NoMoreRegrets | |
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| Wreck It
Posted: 1/5/2007 12:39:22 PM | | first of that is me in the black shirt and second off my spell check is american so i have to go with the flow but appreciate the comments. | |
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Kazot
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Joined: 12/7/2006
Msg: 467 | |
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| I'll review your profile...you won't regret it, part 2
Posted: 1/6/2007 9:38:26 PM | Kazot,
Some of this was actually quite interesting and genuine. You've already qualified the whole "run for the hills" bit with the last paragraph and the last sentence made me snicker a bit. I can't honestly predict what kind of reactions you'll get, but there's certainly enough decent material in the first bit that you just might get away with it.
What should be addressed...
-Spellcheckers will miss stuff like when words like "themselves" are broken up in to two words, because technically that is correct. Go through your profile and weed these out.
-Your interests are completely non-searchable. It's not enough to say that you're a renaissance man. You need to have actual, solid, concrete things written in your list of interests, and don't write it in prose, as certain interests will be unsearchable. (eg: "woodworking", "fishing", "scuba diving").
-Photos: While your main photo is the most recent, your last photo is the clearest. Just a recommendation.
-And THANK YOU for not doing the comb over.
-NoMoreRegrets | |
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| I'll review your profile...you won't regret it, part 2
Posted: 1/6/2007 10:17:21 PM | Hello my friend. I did some editing and want your opinion...NEW pic...new first DATE ideas.
I am open for suggestions. Gosh…I only have 20 words requesting a review.
++++Not good enough!++++++++ (you deserve more reverence than that.
I know you do a great job no regret guy…I have seen your wizardry on others here and it is magnificent, splendid, glorious…oh, and the expertise of which you craft such superlative and exceptional brilliant work…it is amazing, astonishing, beyond belief, and I really, really, really, no doubt and no bones about it… really, really, really…and truly.
Ok…maybe that worked…oh by the way don’t think I am buttering you up to get a good favorable, outstanding grade A matchless…hmm…ummmmmmmoh, I’ll eagerly, and enthusiastically await your response…
I can’t wait oh boy oh boy oh boy …. RUH (that’s a Scooby Doo sound)
RUH RUE…
Scooby saying “thank you…. “RUH RUE…”
Ruh Wroe... (Scooby saying “ uh oh” )
Oh I beseech thee thou profile reviewing God of Gods and wave your magic scepter…does your thing…masterfully bring forth thy wondrous tidings.
Hmm…so trying again…nope, did not work…well…suppose your review is below my expectations in terms of your appraisal and the …lemmie see…oops no not yet…(sorry)
+~+ ~+~ ~+~+~+ ~+~ ~+~+~+ ~+~ ~+~+~+ ~+~ ~+~+~+ ~+~ ~+~+~+ ~+~ ~+~+~+ ~+~ ~+~
Here is the thing…I solemnly swear to not complain, or criticize your findings.
RUH RUE!!!
OK…thanks a bunch!
_bill
~+~ W o r d c o u n t 252 ~+~
Gee golly wiz.
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| I'll review your profile...you won't regret it, part 2
Posted: 1/6/2007 11:11:10 PM | You are right about me-i try not to take to much seriously-guilty as charged.I look stoned in that pick-eh?
I was out with the family at the Yacht club-might add it's quite a prestigious joint and i never do anything with my family when i'm stoned-i guess i am just too damn dreamy
cheers!
NP Manowar-The Demons' Whip | |
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Kazot
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Joined: 12/7/2006
Msg: 472 | |
| I'll review your profile...you won't regret it, part 2
Posted: 1/7/2007 12:17:47 AM | Thanks, I have never been sure about those damned combined words.
And photos are something I need to work on. I keep thinking artists renditions are much better because cameras obviously do not see me as I do.
As to the final sentence, I think the ones before it make it understandable. I mean in our heart of hearts isn't that what most of us really want. | |
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| I'll review your profile...you won't regret it, part 2
Posted: 1/7/2007 6:24:55 AM | Hey...I'd love to hear a review. I just posted a review request in the forum yesterday, but not much response yet. Take into consideration that it is a work in progress! I understand what you've meant by "buzzwords", and am guilty myself...but, do you mean I have to actually THINK about what to write ?!? Should I mention how many brain cells I fry and expend in my profile??
Yeah, yeah...a couple of my own questions and/or thoughts. It seems to me that my profile might come across as just a glorified list, and generally I can be much funnier/more humorous when writing. I'm also aware (yes, I know!) that I haven't filled out the "first date" section yet. I'm waiting for Richard Branson to begin offering those orbital spaceshots w/ his new biz. launching tourists into space....until then...ok, maybe I'll write bungee jumping or crocodile wrestling. The "bare chest" pic, as mentioned in my own thread...I wasn't going to post it, but I AM a personal trainer. Thoughts? Someone mentioned it might give the impression to women that I am insecure, which could not be further from the truth.
Let's see, there was one more question, but now I've forgotten, so I'll just leave it at that and wait for your observations. Oh, and anyone else wanting to make observations, comments, shower me w/ accolades or snicker from the bleachers...feel free to add to my thread in the review section.
Much appreciated!! | |
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