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Show ALL Forums  > Profile Reviews  > I'll review your profile...you won't regret it, part 2      Home login  
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 NoMoreRegrets
Joined: 6/1/2006
Msg: 501
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I'll review your profile...you won't regret it, part 2Page 21 of 23    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23)
chime,

It's quite good...tons of esoteric interests that would make a good match for the right person. It's a bit new-agey for some tastes (and admittedly, mine too), but this is truly a rare breed - a mix of culture, maturity, and probably a zillion stories.

It's not really necessary for you to put "professional" under profession (I am REALLY sick of seeing that), considering that you put down "teacher" under your "about me" section. Some people can't be bothered to read the entire profile all at once, so they'll just scan through what's in the fill-in-the-blank sections, and if anything there interests them, then they'll read the rest of the profile. You want them to read the whole thing, right?

Thank you for rock solid spelling and Canadian spelling of "favourite" and "humour."

But isn't it spelled "donair" or is that an alternate spelling with which I'm not familiar?

-NMR
 chime
Joined: 11/18/2006
Msg: 502
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I'll review your profile...you won't regret it, part 2
Posted: 1/13/2007 8:44:40 AM
But isn't it spelled "donair" or is that an alternate spelling with which I'm not familiar?


Thanks NoMoreRegrets. Point taken about the 'Professional' comment .

This was the spelling of 'döner kebab/kebap' the last time I was in Turkey, there may be variations.

Cheers,
Chime
 Nissim
Joined: 12/29/2006
Msg: 503
I'll review your profile...you won't regret it, part 2
Posted: 1/13/2007 9:28:06 AM
OK, give it to me with all gun barrels ablaze
 Eyeseek
Joined: 2/5/2006
Msg: 504
I'll review your profile...you won't regret it, part 2
Posted: 1/13/2007 10:33:00 AM
If you get a mo - I'm up for a review as I've made some changes.

Put my second favourite pic on as my main pic because has been on ages.
 halbailman
Joined: 10/1/2006
Msg: 505
I'll review your profile...you won't regret it, part 2
Posted: 1/13/2007 4:24:29 PM
Lets have another opinion. never hurts
 mjpbubbles
Joined: 6/3/2005
Msg: 506
I'll review your profile...you won't regret it, part 2
Posted: 1/13/2007 6:14:16 PM
I would like for you to review my Profile.



Thank you.

Marty
 caldus85
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 507
I'll review your profile...you won't regret it, part 2
Posted: 1/14/2007 7:00:44 AM
Review me please!
 dianthus9
Joined: 7/16/2006
Msg: 508
I'll review your profile...you won't regret it, part 2
Posted: 1/14/2007 7:28:56 AM
Thanks for the open offer. If you have time, I would appreciate some feedback.
 jazp234
Joined: 6/28/2006
Msg: 509
I'll review your profile...you won't regret it, part 2
Posted: 1/14/2007 10:42:06 AM
Would you please Review my profile and give me some feedback.

Thanks
 Nissim
Joined: 12/29/2006
Msg: 510
I'll review your profile...you won't regret it, part 2
Posted: 1/14/2007 1:29:26 PM
I've removed the "About me" part of my profile and it is now under construction. So I guess I won't need that profile review until I'm done with it.

Thanks
 tootoohottoo
Joined: 9/7/2006
Msg: 511
I'll review your profile...you won't regret it, part 2
Posted: 1/14/2007 3:34:37 PM
Ok give it to as you see it.....
 NoMoreRegrets
Joined: 6/1/2006
Msg: 512
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I'll review your profile...you won't regret it, part 2
Posted: 1/14/2007 5:48:47 PM
eyeseek,

Not bad. Active interests, a sense of humour, and a slightly flirtatious side (the game of footsie...didn't know it was still called that).

I'm not really sure where I stand on addressing your body type ("short and chunky") and then saying "happy to be me." While it certainly indicate that you are content with your body type and aren't insecure about your the way you look, the fact that you go off and point it out may have an opposite effect. You're already in fairly good shape, and most people (well, the smart ones anyway) have an understanding of the "fitness at any size" maxim. I'm not saying remove it, but be aware of the potential effect.

I think I know where you were trying to go with "I can be very sofffist sifost sopphis sufistimacated CLASSY when necessary..." Minor copy editing note: typically in dialogue, it's written as "sofist...sifost...spphis...sufistimica-- CLASSY when necessary."

In terms of new interests, perhaps have a list of stuff that you'd like to try at some point?

-NMR
 NoMoreRegrets
Joined: 6/1/2006
Msg: 513
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I'll review your profile...you won't regret it, part 2
Posted: 1/14/2007 6:21:08 PM
halbailman,

Is that a Nintendo PowerGlove? Aren't you a bit young to have one of those things? (Check out the YouTube review video on the PowerGlove...it is probably one of the crappiest accessories made for the NES, next to that stupid toy robot thingy...the game works fine WITHOUT the robot)

Not bad, although the nice-guy with 1337 skillz thing may work against you. You will likely be asked to remove the spyware on a hottie's computer, at which point you will have written yourself a one-way ticket to the friend zone. I've done that. It frickin' blows.

Musical elitism may turn off a few, especially since you list a lot of stuff from the 70's and 80's. It shows that you do have specific tastes, but it also shows that you have NARROW tastes, as you proceed to harp on modern music (although I would agree that it currently does suck). Besides, you cite a lot of artists who wrote songs about drugs ("Happiness is a Warm Gun" by the Beatles is about heroin, "Turn the Page" by Bob Seger and "Don't Stop Me Now" by Queen are about methamphetmines, "Life in the Fast Lane" by The Eagles is about cocaine, "Let's Go Get Stoned" by Ray Charles...). Don't get me started about songs about sex.

I usually like to see photos of you engaged in some of your interests...certainly, there's at least one photo of you playing piano somewhere, and at least one photo of you wearing an apron, preferably a goofy one, hunched over a stove/cutting board.

Negativity is something that should always, ALWAYS be avoided, even if you're trying to filter people out. You've already gotten the "no smokers" thing already handled. But like I tend to say once every five or so profiles: ATTRACTION IS NOT A CHOICE. Me, I don't dig on the nicotine either, but out of all the women I've pursued, at least four of them were smokers. Why is this? Because if everything else is in place, you'll become blind to the stuff you don't want. Be aware of this.

I'm weary of people listing off afficionado-like interests, especially if it involves collecting anything (vinyl records, comic books, baseball cards, shot glasses), as it may narrow the potential for interesting conversation. Go ahead and SAY that that it's an interest, but don't spend too much time on it. You want to get people interested in YOU, not your stuff...unless you can use your stuff to help facilitate that (we can listen to music at my place...or something).

This is the first time I've seen a recipe on a profile...I'm not sure of the potential effect that it has (although I'm copying it down and I'm gonna give it a shot, although I'll probably substitute sausage for bacon...less grease and sodium), but it definitely sets it apart from anything else I've reviewed. I'd say keep it, although you may wish to try to incorporate it a little better instead of just dumping it in. Perhaps make it as a metaphor for something bigger or have it as a theme?

Now if only I was paid per word...

-NMR
 NoMoreRegrets
Joined: 6/1/2006
Msg: 514
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I'll review your profile...you won't regret it, part 2
Posted: 1/14/2007 6:28:56 PM
Mjpbubbles,

Unfortunately, there isn't very much for me to work with, which seems to indicate that you didn't read the guidelines for profile writing before you made your request. With what I have, I can only offer the following:

-More photos. The ones that are on are blurry, pixelated, and out of focus.
-You need more searchable interests than just three, although you may wish to be more specific, like say, "Horseback riding" instead of just "horse".
-"If you want to know more just ask" only works if there's enough to hold our interest.
-Please refer to previous reviews on buzzwords. "Honest" and "sincere" mean NOTHING without backup.
-"Hopefully not for very long"? I'm not sure what you're trying to say about this or why, but you will want to address this as negativity is not something you want to have in a profile.

-NMR
 halbailman
Joined: 10/1/2006
Msg: 515
I'll review your profile...you won't regret it, part 2
Posted: 1/14/2007 6:38:01 PM
At 22 i am not a little young to have a powerglove...
In fact I own EVERY ACCESSORY Nintendo released for the NES... from the Advantage to the Zapper (both colours) You name it I've got it.

As for photos of me engaged in my interests... I will definately look into it.

Of course thees songs about drugs in there... I mean One of my absoloute favorite songs is Cocane Blues... and Dont get me started on how awesome Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds is... I dont choose to do drugs, I choose to listen to songs which metaphorically speek about doing drugs
 NoMoreRegrets
Joined: 6/1/2006
Msg: 516
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I'll review your profile...you won't regret it, part 2
Posted: 1/14/2007 6:39:02 PM
caldus85,

You have nice photo variety, active interests, and you've got the makings of a good career. Now, where do we go from there?

-Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....do you hear that? Bzzzzzzzzz....what was that sound? Oh, it was...yes, again, subjective buzzwords without any sort of backup. "Funny and fun guy" is not something I get from the profile, especially since you haven't cracked any jokes and
"computers, art, photography, exercising, and coffee" are fairly generic and common interests, and aren't necessarily what I would often refer to as "fun" in the traditional sense. Intelligent, I get from your chosen profession and your lack of spelling mistakes.

-You can punch up the actual "fun" part by cracking some jokes (and please, no lame ones) or punching up the prose. Okay, you're a compsci major, so I'm not going to assume anything about your writing ability, but given your lack of spelling mistakes, I'm not going to accept any excuses about you "sucking at writing."

-NMR
 NoMoreRegrets
Joined: 6/1/2006
Msg: 517
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I'll review your profile...you won't regret it, part 2
Posted: 1/14/2007 6:44:47 PM
dianthus9,

You photograph well (and look younger than your age suggests) and you have active interests (golfers take note!), although you may wish to include more social interests in addition to things like gardening, reading, and decorating. Also, if you have it in your "about me" section, put it in your interests section...interests are supposed to be searchable.

Your profession section is blank, which may run you into some opposition at some point. Way too many people have it blank or put something silly like "I have one" or "professional." This may suggest duplicity to some, and considering how challenging and interesting it is, why not be proud enough to list it?

Prose will dictate personality...a little more beefing up wouldn't hurt too much. Hopes and dreams, eventual goals, why a person should want to meet you, etc.

-NMR
 NoMoreRegrets
Joined: 6/1/2006
Msg: 518
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I'll review your profile...you won't regret it, part 2
Posted: 1/14/2007 7:01:59 PM
jazp234,

You're on your way, but to help you along, here's my recommendations:

-More photo variety, preferably of you doing more fun stuff (ie: things you can do with a member of the opposite sex...the ratio of hardcore female gamers to male gamers is very, VERY low)
-More social interests and fewer otaku (read: geeky) interests. Collecting stuff is not exactly a social hobby, which will likely run you into some opposition. Also, I trust that you're familiar with the Everquest Widows phenomenon? If you don't actually have these interests, it might not hurt to actually unplug the computer and go out and try them every so often...you might be able to shake the whole shy thing in the process.
-You seem like a fairly nice guy, but nice guy-ness is often equated with neediness. Nice guys are predictable, which makes them stable, but boring (and more prone to being victims of infidelity).

-NMR
 NoMoreRegrets
Joined: 6/1/2006
Msg: 519
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I'll review your profile...you won't regret it, part 2
Posted: 1/14/2007 7:07:32 PM
tootoohottoo,

My eyes are getting tired and the season premiere of 24 is about to start, so just point form for now.

-Considering that you're looking for IE, if you photograph well, you can leave the whole thing blank and you'd be on your way. Without a photo, I can't say that for sure, though.
-Your jokes indicate a sense of humour, but they're all recycled.
-Most of the material in First Date can go under "About Me"
-"Too many to mention"? Try. Seriously, just try. Because no one will find you if you don't put any on.
-And considering that you're married, have children, and you're seeking IE...well, some guys wouldn't mind, but there are a few that would.

-NMR
 Eyeseek
Joined: 2/5/2006
Msg: 520
I'll review your profile...you won't regret it, part 2
Posted: 1/15/2007 11:47:20 AM
NMR - Thanks.

See your point regarding my chunkiness.

Will amend dialogue errors too.

Thanks again.
 Vegas Baby
Joined: 12/1/2006
Msg: 521
I'll review your profile...you won't regret it, part 2
Posted: 1/15/2007 2:49:17 PM
Okay,you have a following... I hope that you can help. Is it bad? Thank you
 NoMoreRegrets
Joined: 6/1/2006
Msg: 522
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I'll review your profile...you won't regret it, part 2
Posted: 1/16/2007 10:05:40 AM
larkspur,

You're on your way, but you got a long way to go. Conversational tone is okay, but this is WAY too conversational. Typically we do not write the same way we talk, or at least we shouldn't. Perhaps write it like you would write a letter?

Stuff of note:
-You've deviated from standard format, which unfortunately makes this profile very reader unfriendly. Point form is okay, but in this manner (five asterisks for each line) makes it harder to read.
-Interests have been written in prose format, which is a serious no-no, as now few of your interests are searchable. So, "scary movies" is searchable, "scary moives I will protect you from Freddie" is not. On top of that, you even misspelled "movies".
-Again, AGAIN with the buzzwords. Laid back, funny, crazy...I kinda have to reach in order to make the buzzwords work because anything subjective MUST be backed up.
-Negativity. While you do have a legitimate reason for not spending as much time in the gym, the fact that you NEED someone else to come in and motivate you may run you into opposition.
-Charlie Brown/Snoopy, Sylvester and Tweety. PICK A BETTER ANALOGY. Charlie Brown is subservient to Snoopy (must feed him, put up with his whims), while Sylvester is constantly trying to eat Tweety, usually ending with Tweety inflicting grevious harm on Sylvester. If this is the type of relationship you're going for, that's fine, but I don't think that's the case.

-NMR
 Vegas Baby
Joined: 12/1/2006
Msg: 523
I'll review your profile...you won't regret it, part 2
Posted: 1/16/2007 6:29:29 PM
Thanks NMR
You are right on with the Charlie/snoopy thing never thought of it that way.The gym thing is to much to true. You are perseptive.
thanks Larkspur
 BennyBear111
Joined: 2/6/2005
Msg: 524
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I'll review your profile...you won't regret it, part 2
Posted: 1/17/2007 7:42:45 AM
I wrote you awhile back about reviewing my profile? but have not heared from you! Is my profile that bad? please let me know? send it to bennybear1945@sbcglobal.net
thanks
Benny
 NoMoreRegrets
Joined: 6/1/2006
Msg: 525
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I'll review your profile...you won't regret it, part 2
Posted: 1/17/2007 12:49:22 PM
Bennybear111,

Like I said on the front page: REVIEWS ARE FOR EVERYONE, not just individuals. I will not honour requests for private reviews via e-mail. Save for VERY specific conditions (also detailed on the front page), NO EXCEPTIONS WILL BE MADE. With that in mind, I'll review your profile ON THIS FORUM.

-Most of what you have done is provide buzzwords. Excuse me if I'm starting to get a little impatient, but this is something that I've repeatedly stated all throughout my reviews. 75% of the people who want requests have provided subjective buzzwords that mean absolutely nothing unless they are backed up. "Loving and very caring with a lot of passion, very open, Adventurous/Wild/Spontaneous, Conservative/Clean Cut, Earthy, Flirtatious/Playful, Friendly/Kind, High Energy, Humorous/Witty, Intellectual, Sensitive/Nurturing/Loving, Outgoing, Romantic, Self Confident, Serious/Responsible, Spiritual, Talkative, Good gentle person"...

I get absolutely NONE of this from just the profile itself, except for maybe "honest" (your description on why it is important indicates that it is a value that you cherish).

-Please remove the e-mail addy, as this can run you into some problems later (that, and spam bots scour the Internet looking for e-mail addresses, so it'll increase your junkmail count).

-I'm not sure where I stand on having old photos that represent what you looked like 20-30 years ago.

-"I miss the feeling of being close to someone..." Fix that. Don't do this because you think it'll bring you happiness, because this level of longing is not attractive to anybody. Find your happiness first, and the love will come later.

And again, apologies if this all sounds a little harsh, but considering the time and effort that I put into this, it'll be nice if people actually took the time and effort to read.

-NMR
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