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| I'll review your profile...you won't regret it, part 2
Posted: 1/18/2007 9:10:56 AM | NMR,
You did me the honour of reviewing my profile a short while back and it was much appreciated.
I have since then made some significant changes... starting with my username and headline.... and also my photos as you suggested.
If you would please take the time to review me again, I would be very greatful indeed.
Sincerely,
hopefulhun
aka ~Happy Bunny~ | |
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| I'll review your profile...you won't regret it, part 2
Posted: 1/18/2007 12:41:13 PM | hopefulhun,
Given my number of reviews and the time that has since past, it might be tough to recall what it used to look like, but I'll give it a shot.
Criticisms from the previous review that you've addressed:
-Photos. Okay, a little more photo variety, but if you've lost some weight (congrats!), how about a more recent picture? You look a little bit peeved in your main photo, though. Main photos need to be eye-catching, and I'm not necessarily saying "sexy", but a good clear close-up or something even goofy (and I do like your photos with you wearing glasses). I'm not saying use mine as an example (and I don't even know how effective this is), especially since it's blurry and a little out of focus. But, it's goofy. Previously, I used the photo where I'm putting an electric razor to my recently shaved head. Closeup photo, yes. Goofy, DEFINITELY yes. I did suggest a photo of you a little more formally dressed...like it's been said, a picture says a thousand words.
-Spelling and grammar: good. Nothing that I could spot after a quick read. But, a closer glance will reveal a run-on sentence in paragraph 2.
-Showing vs. telling: better. But, since profiles should stand out from the pack to get noticed, "normal" ain't gonna cut it. What makes you stand out?
But, an improvement is noted.
-NMR. | |
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| I'll review your profile...you won't regret it, part 2
Posted: 1/18/2007 4:14:48 PM | Alright! I'm ready... do your thing....
New Here....yet again, and am curious to see what can be done to mine; with respect to improvements.
Thanking you all in advance for your feedback and assistance. | |
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| I'll review your profile...you won't regret it, part 2
Posted: 1/29/2007 4:27:35 PM | First off, apologies for the lack of timeliness. I've been stupid busy and wasn't able to get to it. So, without further delay...
janis214,
-I'm really weary of emoticon-heavy profiles, especially for someone in your age bracket. The prose itself should speak to the potential reader, which cutesy icons can never replace. Yes, I know they're there, but that doesn't necessarily mean that they need to be used.
-Again, again, AGAIN with buzzwords. Young at heart, I kinda get, and the photo with the baseball hat is kinda cute.
-Please, no all-caps. THIS IS ANNOYING AND HARDER TO READ.
-NMR | |
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| I'll review your profile...you won't regret it, part 2
Posted: 1/29/2007 4:33:43 PM | JJ_angel88,
The profile doesn't really "speak" to me. The stuff you listed is fairly "random" (like you said), and ultimately doesn't give a good indicator of your personality, hopes, interests, dreams, or even what you're looking for. The factoid of giraffes indicates a level of quirkiness, but that's just about it. You've only listed two interests, only one of which is actually searchable.
Photos are pretty good, although you may wish to avoid group shots (the most diplomatic way of saying it is that you don't stand out in a good way in that shot).
Your request indicates that you're looking for more than "friends" (as listed on your profile), so you may wish to address that.
-NMR | |
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| I'll review your profile...you won't regret it, part 2
Posted: 1/29/2007 4:40:30 PM | WonLuv,
You've packed a lot of detail, which certainly gives a good idea of you in general. You are looking for "friends", although you could easily go further with this. Some pictures perhaps?
"A sophisticated, classy and demure woman who is spicy, vibrant, sensual, artistic and slightly eccentric epicurean. I am what many would describe as "new fashioned" with a slightly wild superwoman/vixen alter ego kick to me ;)" This section needs to go, unless you are able to back up any of these. "Eccentric epicurean" I sorta got, although it can be backed up with a story of some sort.
Please avoid "prefer not to say". These immediately prompt the reader to assume the worst. Considering your lack of photos, it'll confirm it.
-NMR | |
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| I'll review your profile...you won't regret it, part 2
Posted: 1/29/2007 4:47:20 PM | just_kit,
I wouldn't say that it's "bad" or "boring", although if you have that mentality, it may be coming across in the mail that you send out. It's more than just the profile. But, if you're looking for "just friends", then it really shouldn't matter to you, right?
Some things that I would address:
-You don't need to go into specifics about what you do for a living, but you do have to say something.
-Spelling and grammar...please fix this. The latest version of Mozilla Firefox (internet browser) has a built-in spell checker. Please use it.
-"I'm sometimes kind of daft not because im stupid but because while im trying to have a conversation im thinking about what i wanna do next." This is not the best way to word this. Perhaps something like, "Don't worry, I'm not ignoring you..." or something to that effect. Negativity is always bad.
-NMR | |
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| I'll review your profile...you won't regret it, part 2
Posted: 1/29/2007 4:53:42 PM | PLEASE, HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I am depserate need of your help with my profile but I am not sure were to go with it. I have been on this site for almost a year and still NOTHING> | |
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| I'll review your profile...you won't regret it, part 2
Posted: 1/29/2007 5:13:05 PM | laurene,
Remember, I can't provide all the answers -- all I can really do is give hints as to how the profile can lend a little more appeal. Everything else, like how you carry yourself in your e-mails, what you do on your own time, is all up to you.
That, and you have less than four lines in your "about me" section. This is pretty much my cut-off point, as I can't really offer anything to fix what's there, apart from spelling and grammatical errors.
There is nothing to indicate personality, hopes and dreams, or anything else that would make me want to know more about you. You only have one searchable interest and it's sorta common.
It really doesn't look like you've expended any great effort to sell yourself in your profile. Please look at some of the other examples and read the profile review tips before proceeding.
-NMR | |
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| TO ALL THOSE SEEKING REQUESTS
Posted: 1/30/2007 3:28:03 PM | After my last batch of reviews, it is starting to become apparent that most are not following the provided guidelines or reading my previous reviews prior to making requests. Given the time required to do this, if it's apparent that you just blindly posted a request without any effort whatsoever on your part (ie: did not read the first post, did not read any of my previous reviews), I will tell you up-front and ask you to revise before I review.
Thanks!
-NMR | |
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| I'll review your profile...you won't regret it, part 2
Posted: 2/13/2007 1:41:43 PM | CaptainMorgan1,
Thanks. It's really refreshing when people actually READ. How far did you dig back for profile reviews? It was weeks since I last posted a new one.
First, some quick assumptions out of the way, especially given your young age. You got tons of time to work this out and figure it out on your own, so I wouldn't worry that much about it and I would just try to have as much fun as you can. Just go with what your heart tells you and chances are, you're going to land on your ass a few times. But whatever, mistakes are how we learn. As to your actual profile...
It's not bad...plenty of interests, photos, and you are fairly athletic. Being a student indicates goals and intelligence, although I'd like to know a bit more about those. You may wish to crop down your photos so they're mostly photos of you, but on the other hand, they do show you as having enough social skills to maintain positive relationships with people.
Just be aware, though...the profile may present you as a Mister Fix-It type, which may run you into some problems in real life (I went through the same thing at your age).
Cleanup: Your spelling and grammar are fairly intact, but you missed a closing bracket (I'll let you hunt that one down).
-NMR | |
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| I'll review your profile...you won't regret it, part 2
Posted: 2/14/2007 10:03:37 AM | Spindler2006,
I was really tempted to ignore this and tell you to try again, given your lack of effort in the "about me" section. But, you do have plenty of interests, lots of photos, although with the whole thing about "free movies," when worded as such, you come across as a bit of a cheap-ass.
Please beef up the profile...more personality, more wit, more zing, more intelligence, more YOU (refer to previous reviews for more details). Because three sentences isn't going to cut it, unless you just happen to look like Fabio and you have a job that pays slightly better than customer service at the local cinema.
-NMR | |
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| I'll review your profile...you won't regret it, part 2
Posted: 2/14/2007 10:21:08 AM | ~HONOUR~,
First off, thank you for using Canadian spelling on "Honour".
I'm going to ignore that you're just looking for friends and that you're listed as "separated." On the whole, it's not bad...it presents you as open-minded, with a sense of humour, and independence.
I can't really think of much to change, although it's all written in italics which makes it much harder to read. I do like to see a few more qualifying statements, backing up the tell bit (ie: what is your educational background?). FYI, multi-worded adjectives ("well-educated") should be hyphenated.
-NMR | |
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