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Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > She broke my heart and my mind (venting)      Home login  
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 Mother Nature
Joined: 8/8/2006
Msg: 101
She broke my heart and my mind (venting)Page 5 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
SEE OTHER FORUM ABOUT CANADIANS HATING AMERICANS.
 Belladrama
Joined: 12/1/2005
Msg: 102
She broke my heart and my mind (venting)
Posted: 9/4/2006 9:40:40 AM
A broken heart will heal with time
I loved 2 men one cheated and one my fiance was KIA he was a sgt in the Marines.
those thoughts of suicide WILL pass and slowly your heart will heal and you will be able to love again..take it from someone whose been there
 dutch0
Joined: 5/25/2006
Msg: 103
She broke my heart and my mind (venting)
Posted: 9/4/2006 11:32:01 AM
Sure Canada does some strange things - thanks to our government. Not too much we can do about that. But why bash people because of that.
However, you are living here also. Can't be that bad, right ?
And she isn't my friend. I don't know any women on this site.
And because you don't agree with our lifestyle, am I ass-backwards too ?
My point in the beginning was, why attack her because she was Canadian. That wasn't necessary. I didn't agree with her comments about the man also, but didn't bash her because of where she came from. That was just a stereo-typed comment you made. That's all.

P.S. any cute black men reading this ???? LLLOOOLLLL
 dutch0
Joined: 5/25/2006
Msg: 104
She broke my heart and my mind (venting)
Posted: 9/4/2006 11:33:26 AM
regarding : Mother Nature ^^^^^^^^^^^
 diamah
Joined: 6/1/2006
Msg: 105
She broke my heart and my mind (venting)
Posted: 9/4/2006 12:34:41 PM

Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional


Yeah, although sometimes in the midst of pain, it's hard to figure out when/where the option starts, hmm? A g/f gave me good advice, I think - it was that mostly to continue on chin-up, stiff upper lip, all that, but now and then just let yourself hurt.

To the OP - My ex and I split up about 6 months ago, after 7 years, and I've had some difficulty with this. My recovery is taking me longer than I think is reasonable, and it probably is because I do tend to spend time thinking about it. Over the last while, I have taken to saying to myself, out loud, and very firmly STOP THAT! whenever I start obsessing. I also remind myself there is no answer that really works - nothing will change what is. This is working pretty effectively for me.

After two years, what you are going through is pretty much entirely about you, the way in which you've trained yourself to think about her and the end of your relationship - only you can change that. Make the effort to think differently - see the good things around you, appreciate your friends, appreciate yourself. Be grateful for the things in your life that you enjoy, whatever they are - deliberately think about those, even if it feels a bit hollow to you. Make yourself STOP THINKING about your pain, even if you find yourself doing it again 25 seconds later, drag your mind off it AGAIN immediately. It's hard to change your thinking patterns, and even if you have to take many baby steps at first, make the effort and keep at it. It is so worth it. If you can do this for a month, you'll start to notice some change. But it's your choice, each time you don't make the effort, to remain in pain and unhappy.

Suicide is not an option.

Good luck to you.
 dutch0
Joined: 5/25/2006
Msg: 106
She broke my heart and my mind (venting)
Posted: 9/4/2006 12:46:06 PM
I got side-tracked badly.......
to GATOR,
I wish you all the best in the future.
 Nokidsnvrmarriedwhowantit
Joined: 7/27/2006
Msg: 107
She broke my heart and my mind (venting)
Posted: 9/4/2006 12:57:21 PM
i am sick of seeing nasty boob shots on this site........put your shirt on you nasty women
 KMM2003
Joined: 6/17/2006
Msg: 108
She broke my heart and my mind (venting)
Posted: 9/4/2006 12:58:03 PM
I sincerely hope you're still in therapy of some kind. These feelings of suicide are dangerous ones. I was on the other end of a story just like yours, and trust me, it's not always what it seems. By that I mean that I felt just as horrible as the person who had to be "institutionalized." It was awful, and if I could do anything differently that would help him to deal better, I would in a heartbeat. You are worth so much, but you need to realize it for yourself. Like I said, I hope you're still discussing these feelings out loud with a professional. They really do help. Trusting again only comes with lots of time and maybe someone that makes you feel like you're worth a million bucks!!!!!
 magicfingers1
Joined: 11/22/2005
Msg: 109
She broke my heart and my mind (venting)
Posted: 9/4/2006 1:10:27 PM
Interesting that with all the empathising with the OP and the intermittent swipes at Felania for telling the truth....not a WORD about the poor woman who was so sick of this guy she had to break up by PHONE.His words......

I believe i'm a living paradox, wanting what i now hate and fear.
 moaningroan
Joined: 8/13/2006
Msg: 110
She broke my heart and my mind (venting)
Posted: 9/4/2006 1:37:06 PM
TO THE GURL THAT WAS TALKING ABOUT IF A GURL THREATENS SUISIDE. WELL WE DONT NEED PEOPLE LIKE YOU IN OUR LIVES EITHER. EVERYONE HAS PROBLEMS. IF WE ARE IN RECOVERY THEN YOU DONT NEED TO SAY OUT TO US. WE JUST HAVE PROBLEMS. IF THAT STUFF SCARED YOU THN YOU NEVER REALLY LOVED US IN THE FIRST PLACE. LOVE ENDURES ALL I BELIEVE AND IF YOU CANT HANG THE OUT TO YOU TO BABE.
 moaningroan
Joined: 8/13/2006
Msg: 111
She broke my heart and my mind (venting)
Posted: 9/4/2006 1:40:36 PM
YES MY FIRST POST WAS TO YOU. GROW A SPINE. WHAT? YOU SHOULD LOVE US NO MATTER WHAT OUR HANGUPS ARE. WE NEED LOVE JUST AS MUCH AS THE NEXT.
 Mother Nature
Joined: 8/8/2006
Msg: 112
She broke my heart and my mind (venting)
Posted: 9/5/2006 8:39:12 AM
Why bash a man for the way he feels? Believe me I don't choose to live here,but love does make people do stupid things!!!As far yourself TO EACH THEIR OWN.
 khrockproducer
Joined: 7/14/2006
Msg: 113
She broke my heart and my mind (venting)
Posted: 9/5/2006 7:40:10 PM
Oh, I had this happen to me recently with the phone...but it was MUCH weirder....it involved a strange contract he asked me to sign, and later an evil laugh on the phone, ......by a guy who had never been married to anyone.....playing a strange sociopathic taunting game.

I think they are all connected.

I've realized that a great deal is there to be learned from a persons track record in dating. If this guy were a roofer - I'd be out 2 thousand bucks, have a hole in my roof, a worthless contract, and the evil laugh would have still been what it is....the bait and switch "evil laugh" that psychiatrist Eric Berne called something I don't want to repeat.

There are games that are so "stereotypical" that social psychiatrists have interesting names for them, for 50 years now. Only certain kinds of people play them though....not healthy folks. They aren't the work of people of emotional health. That is what is MOST IMPORTANT TO REMEMBER when this kind of thing happens. The guy who started the post may have another underlying psychiatric problem that may have nothing to do with the girl. Men are subject to 3 times more mental illness and depression than women and that is why they SHOULD GET TREATMENT BY A MEDICAL DOCTOR.

It sounds like he may have to go back into the hospital.

Heartbreak is difficult and I've faced it on that level. It's very difficult. When people make it worse it's unnecessary and evil.
 All_Canadian
Joined: 2/8/2006
Msg: 114
She broke my heart and my mind (venting)
Posted: 9/6/2006 1:50:00 PM
Hey you,,, Lose that word suicide!

It's all going to be ok. Trust me, I lost my true love and it wasn't over a phone call it was more of a sudden shock to say the least. I'm still picking up the pieces of my own shattered heart after my best half moved totally out of sight, never to return ever again. Now that really, really hurts and is beyond words. Rebuilding your confidence and self-esteem is so important. Never give it up, you have to work on liking yourself first and foremost, I know I've been there and maybe I'm still there.

I was such a lucky guy, so blessed with the "Total True Love" of my life. I was so much in love with her. I never took a day for granted. I am blessed with her memories, her spirit, and her smile remains with me forever. I know she's with God looking down saying it's ok, move on and enjoy everything you possible can. Life is already to short.

I know in due time I will find my new sweetheart with the feelings of passion all over again. I do have hope and so you should too. Life has so many twists, life can be cruel and so mean, but life can also be so wonderful with new growing emotions of joy that you have to wonder how can this be happening again. And it will happen and you have to allow it to happen, just make it work, let the feelings start over.

I was recently starting to feel that again, the feeling of happiness with complete deep down sensations only to be told to move on, again rejection that hurts all over again. I do believe in time the one will come along again. I certainly have hope and I do know I have to be patient for it.

I do have so many friends from all over and who knows, maybe one of them could be my one, to start over, to share this great life that we do have, life can be very short so every moment of love is a gift. All I can say, never lose hope, it can happen at any time, those pleasures with the special feelings can happen to you over again. Hang in there and believe...

All__Canadian
 Splinter
Joined: 1/6/2006
Msg: 115
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She broke my heart and my mind (venting)
Posted: 9/6/2006 2:10:58 PM
Well It sounds like you still need therapy. I do hope that you are getting it. Talk to a professional about asking her to join you for a session even if it is via phone. I understand the need for closure.
 freedome
Joined: 7/28/2006
Msg: 116
She broke my heart and my mind (venting)
Posted: 9/6/2006 3:13:58 PM
My friend, if I could build a web site that had modiators who could sifen out the insensitive comments you have witnessed here, I would. This is 100% of the reason I rarely venture this way. I am sickened by some of the comments I've herd and only read half way down before adding this to you.
Closure can be hard to come by yes, in many aspects within the human race. People can be cold. That is there problem not yours you need to remember this. It will be you who feels the wake in this. Stick with a counsellor, biweekley if needed. I think, if what you say is true. You still need to be able to confide personal turmoile. I would get a female counsellor though. To help you rebuild trust in women.
If you could write a story with all your questions, swear, freak out, whatever. Then burn it. Or send it off in the water. This is a way of setting free. Maybe just ask her in a simple short without feeling letter to her to please give you a short answer so you can move on. Im sorry if she doesn't which will tell you alot about her. Then that alone will give you some closure.
If you can remember your troubles then you can just as easily forget them; and your happness does not grow in the garden of angry thoughts. Think of this as a time for mental gardening. Good time of year for this too. Pull out the old harvest and throw out the dead rot. Clean slate so to speek. Be able to reject agression. You have a choice to wollow or not. Finilly be able to accept the things you cannot change and change the things you can.
Best wishes.
 annie55
Joined: 8/22/2006
Msg: 117
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History
She broke my heart and my mind (venting)
Posted: 9/6/2006 3:34:10 PM
you are obsssed with her....get angry..block her.get rid of anything u have that remindsu of her...dont do anything stupid..shes not worth it..write me if u like.. good luck
 brenda1950
Joined: 5/3/2005
Msg: 118
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She broke my heart and my mind (venting)
Posted: 9/6/2006 3:46:43 PM
I AM GOING THREW THE SAME AS WE SPEAK,ITS VERY HARD TO JUST CUT OFF YOUR FEELINGS THERE IS 4 STAGES THAT YOU GO THREW FIRST HURT,ANGER,DEPESSION,AND AT LAST ACEPTING WHAT YOU CANT CHANGE,YOU WILL MAKE IT TO THE LAST ONE WITH THE HELP OF FRIENDS,AND MOST OF ALL GODS HELP,THERE IS LOVE OUT THERE FOR YOU SHE WASNT THE ONE GOD WANTED YOU TO BE WITH,,,,,,,,,I HOPE YOU THE BEST,I AM LIVEING PROOF THAT LIFE DOES GO ON,,I HAVE ACCEPTED IT.
 freedome
Joined: 7/28/2006
Msg: 119
She broke my heart and my mind (venting)
Posted: 9/6/2006 9:34:01 PM
Dearest Indigo girl. Go for it girl. Write a story. Don't make it sad. Something easy. Dont't be scared. Woman Is Strong. We are the strongest of the race. Get off the meds. Be real. Feel. It's the only way. Problem these days is everyone thinks a pill will cure them. Or what ever a DR. sais' is right. Wrong. Feel the pain man. Then let it go. You need to learn some skills maybe. Support groups can be a wonderful thing. Nothing to be ashamed of. This world is a walking hell. We know this. Use the ladders that are offered to you. Be free.
Best wishes
 Carnation66
Joined: 4/27/2006
Msg: 120
She broke my heart and my mind (venting)
Posted: 9/7/2006 7:37:57 AM
HI GATOR 1331, I BEEN THRU THAT MANY TIMES. I BET PEOPLE TOLD YOU THAT DONT WORRY; THERE ALOT WOMEN OUT THERE. I THINK THATS THE WORST THING YOU CAN TELL SOMBODY AT THAT MOMENT WHEN HE IS VERY HURT. JUST HANG IN THERE. ITS GOING TO TAKE SOME TIME TO HEAL. TRY TO TO BE WITH PEOPLE WHO CARE ABOUT AND MAKE YOU FEEL GOOD. STAY AWAY FROM PEOPLE WHO ARE NAGATIVE AND ARE ALWAYS MAD AT SOMETHING. LIKE THEY SAY WHAT COMES AROUND GOES AROUND. SHE IS GOING TO GER WHAT IS COMING TO HER. I WONT SAY TO BE HAPPY BECAUSE I KNOW HOW HARD IS TO BE AT THIS MOMENT. YOUR FRIEND CARLOS
 Black Wasp
Joined: 3/12/2004
Msg: 121
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She broke my heart and my mind (venting)
Posted: 9/30/2006 9:46:37 AM
Well, I was in a relationship of 4.5 years, and my woman (and mother of my child), walked out on the both of us, she was haveing a fling affair with another younger man.

It hurt like hell, and she still wanted to live with me, while talking to this guy on the phone in the other room, very frequently. She expected me to even pay for the phone bill still, and her many text messages. Really, what kinda wacko people think like that? and how does it get by you over the years without you seeing it?

Really, cheaters and people who know they are hurting you, or even about to.... they are shit, and you deserve more. Its ok to feel hurt, its healthy, and you midas well bask in it for a while, it only makes you stronger anyway..... and for real, more fish are out there, and better people are out there. You just play the field and find someone better for yourself. If you don't feel the love, then it aint real. Best luck to you.
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