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| I'll take a look, and tell you what I think.
Posted: 8/11/2006 6:42:59 AM | chubz,
First, take the picture of the car out of your profile. That drives us women crazy. Especially since it's a stock manufacturer's photo. Seriously, drives us nuts.
Second, take a picture or two of you SMILING! You look all serious and morbid. Smile and the world smiles with you, frown and you frown alone.
You've talked about your interests, and for the most part, I think that section is pretty good. You've got some spelling and grammar issues in there, but I think most can be overlooked. What I would suggest is that you mention more of what you'd like for yourself in the future, either work-wise, or socially, and more of what you'd like in a woman.
Thirdly, on your pictures, don't have your first picture be of you holding that guitar. I know I'll probably get some heat for this, but it's another thing that tends to drive the women I know crazy... for the same reason as the car or pet photos. It tells us we'll be second to something. Being second to something is okay... but knowing, right up front, that we'll be second to a car, a guitar, any other inanimate object that's probably been named? Not good.
Keep pluggin' away! | |
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| I'll take a look, and tell you what I think.
Posted: 8/11/2006 6:49:05 AM | Bobby7,
The scooter pic, while you've explained while it's there... your explanation inspires me to suggest its removal. You called it 'she', you've named it, and you've wrecked it (which tells us something about driving habits, even if our assumption isn't true!). It was a good scooter, now it's gone, and I think the pic should go. Just my opinion.
Your profile reads... um... jarringly. That's not the right word. But there isn't flow to it. You start off with a this three or four line opener that I think would be better left for the end. You mention that you're recently divorced, and then say 'late wife', which suggests that she passed away... and whether intentional or not, it's kind of a pity sink.
Form your summary into paragraphs. Make them cohesive. Have one paragraph talk about your interests, another about the kind of woman and relationship you're seeking, and even one about your accomplishments in life and your kids. The line after spaced line of reading is tedious.
You have about a hundred million restrictions. I know that you know what you want, and that is good... but I think you should reconsider one or two of those restrictions, to make yourself more easily contacted.
I very much like that pic of you playing the guitar. It should not be your opening pic, but it's a good one, and should remain there. It made me smile. Shows personality.
Best of luck! | |
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| I'll take a look, and tell you what I think.
Posted: 8/11/2006 6:55:52 AM | Lonepillow,
First, I would take your profile down and choose a new name. That particular name suggests that you are not only alone, but lonely, and it has a sort of... depressing affect. Just the name, itself.
Secondly, good picture. I like it. You ARE a BBW/few extra pounds, and by putting "prefer not to say" into your profile (even though you've explained you're fat later on), has a 'lack of confidence' ring to it. Be proud of what you are. You are a lovely looking woman, you have extra weight, you are a BBW. "Apparently being half-figured offends people"... who cares what they think, when it comes to who you are?
At the very beginning of your write up, remove the "Who I am.... Well,". Begin your statement about yourself with "I". Remove that sentence about your sister and her husband. It reeks of expectations and it suggests that there's a standard you'll judge people against. That's neither fair, nor conducive to relationships. Anything that you have with someone will be what YOU have with them... and using your sister's relationship as a yard-stick by which to measure, will only leave you alone.
I think that you have a lot of good things to say about yourself, but should take more time considering just what you want people to know. They don't need to know that you're not looking for someone to support them. You know that, and it may come up in conversation with the right Fish, but putting it out there seems... defiant, in a way. Forcefully independent. Something like that.
Take some more time, and simply rephrase, rethink. Add more of your interests, add some of your goals, talk about that past that you say everyone's got (but don't focus on the past!). Show us who you are.
All the very best of luck. | |
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| I'll take a look, and tell you what I think.
Posted: 8/11/2006 6:58:04 AM | Mattzer,
First, great photo. Instantly put a smile on my face.
Secondly, I like your "Hi!" at the beginning of your write-up. It's friendly, up-beat, and a great way to start, I think.
You may consider adding more to your profile. You say you're a student, but what do you study? You play sports, but do you do anything else with your time? You're looking to contact 'cool' people... but what makes someone 'cool'?
Put a bit more time into your write-up, and I'm sure you'll have no problems finding that special lady. | |
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bobby7
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Joined: 3/22/2006
Msg: 34 | |
| I'll take a look, and tell you what I think.
Posted: 8/12/2006 3:15:08 PM | Thanks for the advice, Rain Maiden, I'll see what I can do to improve.I mentioned my late wife..She passed away in 1995..I remarried in 2000, and recently divorced this wife..
Confused yet?? Thanks again, RM | |
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Posted: 8/12/2006 10:59:05 PM | Blue_eyes,
Beautiful introduction pic. What's with the car pic? I can't yell at guys for having cars up and skip the girls! *grin* We wouldn't want the guys thinking you're a tire-biter.
It's great that you've mentioned your son, that you've mentioned that you're going back to school, and that you prefer to spend quiet time to loud time... but there's a lot of negatives in your profile. "I'm nervous, it's been six years since I graduated", "I'm not into partying, I'm a homebody", etc. There are better ways to say those things, without being so negative. And add a bit more about your interests.
Otherwise, excellent. | |
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| I'll take a look, and tell you what I think.
Posted: 8/13/2006 11:04:58 AM | Diana,
Great pictures.
You mention more than once in your profile that you love to laugh. However, you don't mention a lot of things that you enjoy doing... dinners, movies, sports, spending time with your kids? Anything like that. You also mention your cats, but there are dog pictures in that profile... and I would perhaps lay off the talk of your cats for the same reason that women get annoyed by men devoted to their dogs... it's about relationships... if your cat was sick, or your partner was sick... men would wonder which you'd tend to first, y'know? Mention the cats, but don't compare your friends to them. That sets men wondering.
I think you did a pretty good job with your profile. | |
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| I'll take a look, and tell you what I think.
Posted: 8/13/2006 9:44:33 PM | Thanks for your review. I've updated my profile, and I really took into consideration what you said about the "cats" talk. I just tried a completely different approach. What do you think??
Diana | |
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Posted: 8/13/2006 10:45:22 PM | Mike,
First, remove the dog and the car. Put a picture of you where you are FACING the camera, as your main photo. Seriously, it helps.
Second, remove the "****ed if I know" from your "first date". Tres mature.
Thirdly, your write-up is actually quite good. I like it. | |
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| I'll take a look, and tell you what I think.
Posted: 8/14/2006 12:01:08 AM | Perhaps we could repay rain maiden for her efforts in some way.
Other than money,I can't think of anything though.
I would ask her to take a look at mine,because it's full of flaws.But,I'm flawed so why make oneself appear perfect?  | |
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