| When she won't do oral sex
Posted: 8/13/2006 12:23:27 PM | | It's an acquired taste and technic Kitten ~ you have years to ponder and perfect ~ Don't rush the river ~ some do well with it early ~ some never do. There is many things to learn and they all take time. Help? you are very, very normal ~ when you are ready, you don't have to put the whole thing in ~ "You" are in Control here! | |
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| When she won't do oral sex
Posted: 8/13/2006 12:25:00 PM | | Kimko, life is very short and regardless of what you think I am going to enjoy it to the fullest. I too noticed how you bashed the guys but make no metion of the women who feel the same way we do. Talk about hypocrite. | |
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| When she won't do oral sex
Posted: 8/13/2006 12:43:25 PM | | The way I have been brought up, and im sure all of you have...you only do what you feel comfortable doing sexually, if you don't feel comfortable then don't do it, and no one should make you feel guilty for not wanting to do it, and yes thats goes both ways (guys and girls) What if a girl wanted anal and you as a guy didn't want to do it....would you still do it, or would you expect her to go with out and still love you? Everyone enjoys different things and thats what makes sex and life exciting. I think the biggest complaint the OP is having is why do guys make her feel guilty or strange for not wanting to do it(no matter her reasons)? Why is it the one thing that a guy can not live without? or in guys cases a girl can not live with out? | |
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| When she won't do oral sex
Posted: 8/13/2006 6:00:21 PM | Fitnessbunny said:
'I don't love giving head, but I love pleasing my man...'
I really wouldn't want it from someone who wasn't into doing it
The fact I said I love to please my man should have said enough. I don't go down and do it half-assed.
If two people "love" pleasing one another, then they will "love" whatever pleases them. Also, as stated previously, if you're not into it, it can be totally eventless.
Why assume that I give awful head? I do it for him, they never complain....I am totally in to pleasing my man. Head might not be my favorite..but trust me I never complain to him about doing it. | |
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| When she won't do oral sex
Posted: 8/13/2006 7:26:06 PM | Well, that was an interesting read. Some explanations, some kow-towing to the liberal left, and the common general slide of good, spirited discussion into the ugly world of personalities.
So let me take a moment to answer your question miss. Let us start with your profile seems to bear out your statements that you are a young, pretty woman, without appartent physical deficit that might impair your choice of prospective mates. So you can pretty much pick any guy you would like. And may have chosen from a good cross section. As the responses indicate, there are men that do not prefer, like, or engage in recieving oral sex from thier partner. It is also clear that they are in the minority. That you have had a number of men, and all of them like oral sex, might indicate that something about the type of man you are attracted to makes them more likely choices. Let us not delve into exactly why one might choose such men given your stated preferences, but skip to the heart of the question.
Not that men do not like oral sex. And not that it is uncomfortable for you. But that, given the men you choose to date, it is not an option. It is a cornerstone of the relationship. And their leaving hurts you, and your indifference to the act itself leaves you confused as to why it can have so much relevance to another.
Reality check. It does. If it is important, and you cannot, or will not avail yourself of the myriad possiblilities, for whatever reason, would you rather they hung around in a relationship picking fights until they could find one that would give you a less emotionally disconnected exit? Or would you rather they stay in a relationship they find unsatisfying (Which BTW they have as much right to find your inability unsatisfying, as you have to be confused as to why they should care). Or, I suspect, prefer that an otherwise acceptable man adjust his self, psyche and outlook so that he didn't care about that. Anything else you want him to alter about himself while you are at it? I mean while we are here....
The upshot is it is not about you. Your looks, size or anything else. It is about whether you can and will do something. You can't run, hide, or talk about feelings and intentions. You will be judged. And that is abbhorent in a society where the grey area is king. Just remember, Do what you want, and find a man that makes you giddy in the pants doing just what you want and only that. Just don't ask why not everyone is like that. It is a question you don't have a frame of reference for the answer for without hurtfull remarks. Some of which you have already read in previous posts.
Sorry about the length. Just needed to post my complete thought. | |
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| When she won't do oral sex
Posted: 12/8/2006 3:04:55 PM | DeannaM, sweetie, I'm the same way you are. I just cannot do oral sex. I tried for 18 years when I was married (actually, I still am, but we're separated, which was my idea, btw). I'd rather stay alone for the rest of my life than do something I find so distasteful. I think everybody these days is obsessed with oral sex to the point that it's almost a sickness. 
Ninki | |
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| When she won't do oral sex
Posted: 12/8/2006 3:16:09 PM | "Some guys put a lot of import on the act that goes way beyond the sensation though... there is a whole macho/power/submission/humiliation side of it..."
***Exactly why I don't do it, simlasa. That and I hate the taste. 
Ninki | |
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| When she won't do oral sex
Posted: 12/8/2006 3:28:38 PM | I am the anti-Adam...I never say what I think the girls want to hear!
I would leave you too, if you thought your precious tongue was too good for my weinie. | |
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| When she won't do oral sex
Posted: 12/8/2006 3:30:31 PM | >>Some guys put a lot of import on the act that goes way beyond the sensation though... there is a whole macho/power/submission/humiliation side of it..."
>>***Exactly why I don't do it, simlasa.
So, let me get this straight--you don't do it because of what you are afraid he is thinking while you do it?
Sure, there is a dominance/submission aspect to it...guess what, sex is very tied up with dominance and submission to a lot of people. Of both genders.
As far as humiliation goes, that's in your own heads, girls (no pun intended). If you think it is a shameful thing, then it is. If you think it's talent that brings a lot of pleasure to your partner, then it becomes that. | |
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| When she won't do oral sex
Posted: 12/8/2006 3:32:43 PM | | I am sure that not all guys will leave over that. I have seen more than one guy here say that they don't even like it. For me, I can take it or leave it... It's mostly foreplay to me. :P | |
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| When she won't do oral sex
Posted: 12/8/2006 4:43:40 PM | Never has done much for me either!
Truth. be known, It would be kind of nice to have a women
that I knew wasn't sucking on men's , well you know!
And yes, I know, it's just me! Not saying it's bad or offensive! | |
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| When she won't do oral sex
Posted: 12/8/2006 8:39:05 PM | >>These threads are good cause that way you can see who are total rejects
Care to elaborate on that, my dear? | |
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| When she won't do oral sex
Posted: 12/8/2006 8:50:03 PM | | You know its funny... somehow I was not surprised when I saw where she's from. From what I have seen... and that includes now from my Brother, who has lived in Sidney for the last seven years... they can be a bit raw. Funny though. :) | |
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| When she won't do oral sex
Posted: 12/9/2006 12:37:21 AM | Personally I prefer to give than receive. I may be the only one out there that thinks this but it's true. Not trying to suck up here...no pun intended, just stating how I feel.
Many people are just out for themselves, too bad a lot of people only go for them too.
Meh.. | |
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| When she won't do oral sex
Posted: 12/9/2006 9:15:22 AM | If that turns a woman on, well that's great!
I do feel very sorry for women tht perfect their
oral technique, get their tongue pierced,
because that's about all they can manage to
come up with, to get or keep a guy interested.
Then they cry, "All men want is sex!" Duh! | |
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| When she won't do oral sex
Posted: 12/10/2006 11:45:18 AM |
Some guys put a lot of import on the act that goes way beyond the sensation though... there is a whole macho/power/submission/humiliation side of it..."
huh? who the heck are you having sex with? I think unless you have man that gets off you choking on it...that most men like the pleasure and intimacy of it not the "power"
Everyone should do whatever they feel comfortable with...what you might not wanna do is "pass judgement' on those who ideas differ....you dont want to.."cool"...but like women who wont date shorter men....its a preferance.
If someone doesnt date you for it...well you could say "what a moron..hes so superficial"....but you could say that about every preferance... | |
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| When she won't do oral sex
Posted: 12/10/2006 12:15:49 PM | Bravo! Bravo!
How many men here can walk in THIS mans shoes and be PROUD of the fact that "RESPECT" goes hand in hand with "RELATIONSHIP"?
...that's what I thought.
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| When she won't do oral sex
Posted: 12/10/2006 5:36:32 PM | OK...First I'm going to say something negative and then I'm going to follow it up with a positive so KEEP READING! I'm going to disagree with a lot of people who have posted saying don't do it if you don't want to or it shouldn't matter if he loves you. If you have a phobia of guys dumping you because you "won't", that's a pretty well founded phobia. I'm just going to say it how it is and if it hurts...I'm sorry...it's NOT meant that way...I promise! I think MOST guys would have a problem with it...and I know from experience that I won't stick around very long myself and I'm a pretty nice guy. You're eliminating a BIG portion of guys who just might be perfect for you in every other aspect of your life. (not to mention a whole laundry list of fun freaky stuff you can otherwise do in bed)
Now don't get me wrong...there's plenty of guys out there who will accept it. They might even tell you that it's ok that you don't, but trust me...that doesn't mean that they like it and that doesn't mean that deep down it's not a BIG issue for them. Some guys are just willing to accept it because it's not THE most important thing in a relationship. Will it make someone fall in love with you? Probably not...BUT if you're NOT doing it, it shows that you're not willing to do even the most basic of things for him and it can be a root cause for him NOT wanting to take things further in a relationship.
I can't speak for all guys...but I think I have a pretty good idea of what most guys want in bed and if you're not satisfying one of the most basic sexual requirements that guys have...you're giving him an excuse to go elsewhere when other aspects of your relationship start to go South. Ok...enough of the bad stuff? Let me get to the good stuff.
I don't know what's in your head or why it's such a phobia for you. Maybe it's the way you grew up or was told it was dirty or maybe had a bad experience or two. BUT...like anything that you want to change about yourself...you have to break the paradigm you're in. Put yourself OUTSIDE everything you have been taught or learned about sex and look at it from a completely different angle.
Here's a few ideas that might help:
1. If you think it's degrading or controlling - Think about who REALLY has control. It's YOU! Most guys are pretty attached to their little friend and are putting their complete TRUST in you to NOT hurt them. Trust me...when you have a guy by the balls...his heart and mind will follow!
2. If you think it's dirty - A simple kiss is FAR dirtier. There's only a handful of diseases that can be contracting through oral sex....the MAJORITY of all communicable diseases can be transmitted by the simple exchange of saliva...and let's not even get into the amount of bacteria found in the human mouth vs. the virtually sterile other!
3. Step back and think for a minute about what might have caused your hang-up in the first place. Were you taught that it was wrong growing up? If so, do you truly believe that it's wrong? If you DON'T believe it's wrong...what's stopping you? Get to the root of your hang-up and counter those fears with the positive aspects of it. Such as...
4. Guys love it and will return just about any favor for it in exchange!
5. Guys LOVE it and will do just about anything for you!
6. GUYS LOVE IT!!! and it will make your world a more wonderful place!
Now there's all the reasons you should do it for a guy...but more importantly than that...you should do it for YOU! If you're ONLY doing it just to satisfy a guy...he's going to notice...and for me at least...you might as well not be doing it at all.
Learn to love it and it will love you back! | |
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| When she won't do oral sex
Posted: 12/10/2006 5:52:08 PM | Well I have to agree with the OP. I can assure you that I won't give a guy head either. As for going down on a chick though....Where's my bib... | |
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| When she won't do oral sex
Posted: 12/10/2006 6:22:18 PM | stonedalien, I'm not sure if you were 'talking' to me or the OP, but *I* don't have a phobia about anyone dumping me for that or any other reason. As for OS, I'd tell him pretty early on, and if he's not okay with it, fine, he can go find someone else. It's no big deal to me, as he wouldn't be right for me. And where do you get off calling this the 'most basic' thing? Since when is that?  Now, if a guy told me 'it's okay' even though it really isn't, then he's a liar! Why lie??? Just say honestly that it's not okay. It's exactly this kind of lying that caused me to break up with my last boyfriend ( and no, it was not about sex at all). He assured me it was okay, but then days later told me I should've known that it wasn't, etc. Well, I take what people say to me at face value, so if you can't be honest and sincere, don't even try to talk to me.  I agree with you that the mouth is generally dirtier than genitals, but this is not the point. I have my reasons as to why I don't do it and I don't feel like getting int them here. No, it's not for religious/moral reasons. I hate the fact that this one sex act seems to have become mandatory now, not optional, like it used to be. When did this happen?
Ninki | |
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| When she won't do oral sex
Posted: 12/10/2006 6:37:16 PM | Ninki--it's not mandatory, totally voluntary. It's just that you'll have a whole lot fewer guys to choose from if you won't do it.
Blame your fellow women. | |
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| When she won't do oral sex
Posted: 12/10/2006 6:39:41 PM | Get with the times girl! lol
Reality Television, piercings, shaved privates, extreme anything!
The girl, that considered our thinking boring, well,
I guess sitting absolutely motionless, except breathing
for an hour, in meditation, probably wouldn't appeal to her either!
Some people may be very surprised to learn, some day,
that what really matters, and can have profound effect
on ones life, has nothing to do with trends, fads, or
anything our irrational society dictates. | |
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| When she won't do oral sex
Posted: 12/10/2006 6:59:50 PM | | You do what you are comfortable with. Yes its a 2 way street, but if ya let them know from the get go, then you will find out what they are really lookin for. | |
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