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| Dating a seperated person
Posted: 3/24/2005 5:07:08 PM | Wow, over 260 posts and you guys are still entertaining the preachings of the pompous old jesus freak? Its like arguing with a drunk.  
This thread is supposed to be about people's choices to date or not date us dreaded separated folk. Some chose not to because of their religious beliefs, other because of their fear of emotional baggage or previous experiences.
For those that cite religion, there is no amount of reasoning that they will accept, listen too, or even acknowledge as being acceptable for others that don't share their religious belief. Thus is the nature of those that preach tolerance, love, and forgiveness. Do as they say, not as they do. 
Those that cite fear of potential emotional baggage do have a valid point. However, I see no logic in the thought that this is something which only separated people may suffer from. It applies to all those that have been in a relationship. If you're interested in someone that is currently separated, but have a fear of an emotional roller coaster, then I say simply ask about the details of their situation. If they lie, and people do that sometimes, or won't answer, then they're not worth being in a relationship. It doesn't matter whether they're separated or not.
And then there are those that have had a bad experience or two and are of course gun shy. What can I say except what I've said before. Not everybody is the same. You took a chance and it didn't work out. That's part of life. I'm not being callous. How would you know if the relationship would workout otherwise unless you took the chance you did? No one can predict the future. If a particular person or your relationship with them is so predictable as to be able to figure out how everything is going to play out, then than sounds pretty d*mn boring to me. | |
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| Dating a seperated person
Posted: 3/24/2005 6:24:58 PM | Some of the opinions posted here can really make a separated person feel like sh!t that's been smooshed into the dirt!
Oh c'mon hon, ............... consider the source.
Wow, over 260 posts and you guys are still entertaining the preachings of the pompous old jesus freak? Its like arguing with a drunk.
LOL!!!!!
No, ....drunks can see past the end of their nose sometimes. | |
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| Dating a seperated person
Posted: 3/24/2005 8:17:40 PM | Sarita & Late,
Sari, I didn't expect that from you, but I did expect that from Late. My handle hasn't a thing to do with myself, it has to do with the study of relationships. It is borrowed from another language. I really did think you would get the answer Sari. I really did. I even made a bet on it. No offense Late, but Sari is a bit higher on the evolutionary scale than most, and most of her writings show it because she mostly gives her opinions, instead of her criticisms. There is a lot to learn from her.
Once uopn a time, a man decided to build a house. While he began to clear the land and lay in the gravel and readied for the foundation, some people came by, and told him very clearly that he didn't know what the hell he was doing. He just smiled, and let them go ahead with their criticisms. Another man came by and told him that he really DID know what the heck he was doing, because he was a carpenter, and could prove it. Soon, all kinds of people criticized him and became official "sidewalk superintendants", some very positively, some very negatively, and some never did a thing to help him, or try to make things easier for him.. Eventually, the house was finished, and the man decided to call all the people to his home for a house-warming dinner. The people who thought he knew what he was doing, became good friends with him. The others hung out together, only to be involved when it was opportune for them to criticise him negatively again. Eventually, they all went home, except for the ones who knew he was right. Those people all agreed, that the man knew what he was doing, even after there was still a tiny bit of doubt. However, it all worked out well anyway. Finally, one of the people who agreed with him asked, "what the building inspector said about it".
He replied, " I AM the building inspector".
The moral of the story? After all the dust has settled, you will find the eagles soring, and the buzzards picking up crap off the ground. Does this relate to this thread? Maybe not, but it's a fairlly good story (I think).
Loren
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| Dating a seperated person
Posted: 3/24/2005 10:28:03 PM | Sarita
Late is a very intelligent being. He thinks in terms of broken thoughts, however, it is not a sign of hesitation or weak thinking though, rather it is a sign of complete and careful thought, pausing to think and re-think as he goes along. I taught a class of Graphology some years ago, and I will bet a million bucks that his handwriting is quite similar to his types messages. Late, look at your handwriting (cursive) , do you have breaks in the middle of the words where the individual letters are normally bridged together? If you do, then I am correct in my thinking. The main difference between you and Late Sari, is enormous. i'm not talking about a difference in intelligence, I'm talking about a complete difference in your ways of thinking and how you both approach discussions and how your thoughts treat you. . You Sari, are direct, impulsive, and usually quite on target, with overtones of absolute beauty in eloquence and delivery at times. Late, on the other hand is someone who comes in the side door, being rather vague and evasive and more critical in his methods of projection.. Again, I'm not lessoning the intelligence of Late, I'm merely pointing out the massive differences betrween you two. Still, I think you Sari, are a very bright woman, and I appreciate your candor and your obvious wisdom. Ron the writer has my vote too. It is a plezier goed to be able to debate and interact with all of you, but you three cause me to return to this site. Mai plaisir.
Viellen Danke
Loren | |
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| Dating a seperated person
Posted: 3/24/2005 11:36:20 PM | Being creatures with souls, when we give of ourselves it's as if we leave a little essential part of ourselves with the other
Perhaps this is out of necessity, so as to leave room for a little essential part of another. If so, this is closure .....not a protracted connection.
My divorce is still pending, it's eventuality is however, absolute.
Sarita, will you promise to spend an eternity with me? | |
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| Dating a seperated person
Posted: 3/24/2005 11:45:03 PM | Well, I guess my interest in this thread is over...........
As the question of my availability is now moot, as I belong to you.
Shall we leave this thread my dear, it's become so oppressively mildewed and stinking of old clumsy prose? | |
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| Dating a seperated person
Posted: 3/25/2005 1:20:28 AM | Well, the way I look at it is if you're divorced in the heart, you're divorced as you're going to get, regardless of a piece of paper that says so or not! I don't know about anyone else, but I live by God's laws. God didn't make the paper, man did! God didn't say you had to go to court to file for divorce -- man did.
Personally, I've been separated for three years. My ex and I don't live together/sleep together or even think about going back together, but we still remain friends. Does that make me off limits to someone? Well, that would be totally up to the person I was interested in, or who was interested in me. Am I ever going back? An unequivical "NO!" What's done is done! Do I need to prove that to someone else? Absolutely Not!
I've seen others who are divorced and who end up going back, after many years. It doesn't matter whether you're divorced or separated -- at least not according to God! If someone has a problem with someone being separated, and they don't want to date a person because of that, that is their choice, but, they may be missing out on the best thing since chocolate pudding. ;)
I think it's totally a personal issue. However, if the person is going to go back, they would regardless of whether they were married/divorced, or separated. Of course, that's just my two cents and No, I didn't take it insultingly C. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, hehe.
angel | |
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| Dating a seperated person
Posted: 3/25/2005 1:34:03 AM | I'd date a separated lady if her husband was on death row with no pending appeal and the time of extinction has been set a week off with not chance of a governor pardon.
Yes, I'd date a separated lady faire,
Whose husband was without compare.
A lady so fun and pleasant to be with,
That I'd enjoy the company and the lift.
But if her husband was not on death row,
I wouldn't even try to date her, but go.
'Cause it is of husbands a terrible fact,
That often the SOB's wanna come back.
The devil made me do it!
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| Dating a seperated person
Posted: 3/25/2005 1:41:44 AM | Angel, life is strange.
My father was married to a young (girl?) woman age 17 when he was a young man. They divorced. He then married my Mother in 1942, I think. They divorced in about 1962. He then married another woman. They divorced in around 1965. He then married another woman around 1975. She died at around 1988 at age 53, I think.
He then married his first wife again. They were together the rest of her life. She died a first time, and he brought her back to life. She lived for about another two years and she died again, but for good. My father lived another 3 or 4years, and died at age 69 with cancer.
He loved his first wife all those years. 1939 through about 1990. He never did stop loving her. I don't know who was his real wife, but maybe God does.
Larry | |
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| Dating a seperated person
Posted: 3/25/2005 1:43:45 AM | And you think the lady wouldn't return, if she had a piece of paper that said she was divorced? Hmm, let's hope you're right! However, based on the number of people here who are married and cheating, something tells me that a piece of paper doesn't mean very much.
I tend to believe it doesn't matter, as long as the person knows what they want. As for me, it wouldn't matter if my ex wanted me back. I wouldn't want him back, no matter what, and I don't need a piece of paper to tell me that. I already know it!
angel | |
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| Dating a seperated person
Posted: 3/25/2005 1:46:43 AM | Angel, what do you and Ron think of the passage
"Jesus met a woman as he was walking one day. He said to her, "woman, where is your husband?".
She answered, and said "I have no husband".
He then said "but you have FIVE husbands, and the one you now have, is not your own"
Larry | |
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| Dating a seperated person
Posted: 3/25/2005 2:05:46 AM | Yes, but even in your father's case, it took TWO people to be in the relationship, not one!
In many cases, people don't have a clue what they want or who they love. They could be married and still want to be with someone else, either in the heart, mind or body. So, what's the difference? Hence, they go back and forth. What it comes down to is whether they have any feelings left for the person. There are some, believe it or not, who know exactly what they want and nothing that the other person says to them, can alter that frame of thought, because they don't love the person anymore. Hence, it really depends on whether the person knows what they want and knows what they feel, for the ex spouse. Not whether there is a piece of paper, that says they are divorced, separated or married for that matter.
angel | |
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| Dating a seperated person
Posted: 3/25/2005 2:07:12 AM | The question is not what I think of it, the question is what you think of it? It's a parable, might I remind you of that?
angel | |
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| Dating a seperated person
Posted: 3/25/2005 2:17:45 AM | By the way, you might take a look at the actual scripture and I do hate to cite it, as I really detest taking scripture out of context. however..
JOHN 4:5-24 Then cometh he to a city of Samaria,which is called Sychar, near the parcel of ground that Jacob gave to his son Joseph. Now Jacob's well was there. Jesus therefore, being wearied with his journey, sat thus on the well: and it was about the sixth hour. There cometh a woman of Samaria to draw water: Jesus saith unto her, Give me to drink. (For his disciples were gone away unto the city to buy meat.) Then saith the woman of Samaria unto him, How is it that thou, being a Jew, askest drink of me, which am a woman of Samaria? for the Jews have no dealings with the Samaritans. Jesus answered and said unto her, If thou knewest the gift of God, and who it is that saith to thee, Give me to drink; thou wouldest have asked of him, and he would have given thee LIVING WATER. The woman saith unto him, Sir, thou hast nothing to DRAW with, and the well is DEEP: from whence then hast thou that living water? Art thou greater than our father Jacob, which gave us the well, and his cattle? Jesus answered and said unto her, Whosoever drinketh of this water shall thirst again: But whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst; but the water that I shall give him shall be in him a well of water springing up into everlasting life. The woman saith unto him, Sir, give me this water, that I thirst not, neither come hither to draw. Jesus saith unto her, GO, CALL THY HUSBAND, and come hither. The woman answered and said, I have no husband. Jesus saith unto her, Thou hast well said, I have no husband: For thou hast had five husbands; and he whom thou now hast is not thy husband: in that saidst thou truly. The woman said unto him, Sir, I perceive that thou art a prophet. Our fathers WORSHIPPED in this mountain; and ye say, that in Jerusalem is the place where men ought to worship. Jesus saith unto her, Woman believe me, the hour cometh, when ye shall neither in this mountain, nor yet at Jerusalem, worship the Father. Ye worship ye know not what: we know what we worship; for salvation is of the Jews. But the hour cometh, and now is, when the TRUE WORSHIPPERS shall worship the Father in SPIRIT and in TRUTH. GOD IS A SPIRIT: and they that worship him MUST worship him in spirit and in truth.
In the passage, as you see, she was trying to take the water from Jesus and he was trying to teach her, that she didn't know what she was getting into. She no more realized he knew, that she married the first few times, and she certainly had no idea that he knew, that she was with someone who was already married. Hence, the word of "TRUTH".
angel | |
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| Dating a seperated person
Posted: 3/25/2005 2:28:35 AM | and to expound on that, she goes back and tells others of this:
John 4:28 Then the woman left her water jar and went back to the city. She said to the people, “Come and see a man who told me everything I have ever done! He cannot be the Messiah, can he?”
angel | |
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| Dating a seperated person
Posted: 3/25/2005 3:31:08 AM | So, which one would be her husband when she died?
The first, the second, the 5th
6th? | |
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| Dating a seperated person
Posted: 3/25/2005 6:29:55 AM | | pointing fingers again........good thing somebody knows how to save us from ourselves.......we all are one.....no better or worse.....try not to take this out of context... | |
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