|
|
|
|
|
| |
kty30
|
Joined: 4/15/2005
Msg: 327 | |
| Dating a seperated person
Posted: 4/24/2005 8:51:38 PM | I met my wife after being engaged a long time. It was a terrrible thing to get involvedso quick, not waiting until the emotions from my prior relationship had truly been gone. I don't feel I dealt with things the right way. I don't feel I am giving my wife my all.
Now, I am considering leaving my marriage after only a short while.
In the future, I will be single for a long time before starting anything. It is only fair to me and the other party. | |
|
| Dating a seperated person
Posted: 4/24/2005 8:52:09 PM | Teutonic wrote,
He Pasin'thru
Didn't I see you on Jerry Springer one day? sump'in about you and yo sistuh?
Or was it just about Arkinsaah?
haha-BLAH | |
|
| Dating a seperated person
Posted: 4/24/2005 8:59:03 PM | in the US, i think men are more at risk for this...they get separated, regardless of why and WHO left, the man decides to go on and date before the divorce is final, and the ex finds out, she can screw him for much more than half of their money if she wanted to.
I'm curious what you based that comment on darlin'. In the US IMHO and my experience even if you have proof that a spouse cheated even prior to a separation (let alone after) it makes very little difference, if any at all, in the financial settlements. | |
|
| Dating a seperated person
Posted: 4/24/2005 10:20:22 PM | | Wow, here in Colorado they expedite the hell out of things, 90 days is the goal. Both good and bad come s of it, I guess. With the expedited way they do things, just suppose got hit with what I did; blindsided by things, the opposition has been planning for months, squirreling money away, and then you don't have time to save money for an attorney or PI to discover all the things that have gone on. You can imagine the outcome if you have to go to court in this situation. Honestly, I'd rather have time to recover from the emotional shock, gather the financial recources and fight a fair fight. | |
|
| Dating a seperated person
Posted: 4/24/2005 10:38:22 PM | Yes, but you don't always have to fight, if you can learn to agree, even if only for the benefit of the children. I found in mine, it was much easier on all parties when we just agreed on things, ourselves. No fight and everyone gets pretty much what they wanted, because you both chose to be fair to one another.
That's what my ex and I did, and because we chose to get along about it, our kids haven't suffered. It's not that hard to do, believe it or not..at least if you both make an effort to meet each other half way. I'm still separated after 3 years, and my ex and I get along fine..however, it took work to do so, just like anything worthwhile.
We don't need a piece of paper that tells everyone else that we're done, we both know we are. That's not going to change because we have a piece of paper, obviously. And, unless either of us choose to be remarried to someone else, it doesn't matter to either of us.
Then again, I tend to live by God's law and according to it, we're already divorced.  | |
|
| Dating a seperated person
Posted: 2/3/2006 11:58:02 AM |  I am currently dating a seperated person and its wonderful. There are many reasons why people are seperated. In my boyfriends case, his ex was horrible. I've known them both for 3 years and they have been seperated for many years. They just never made it official until a year ago. My boyfriend and I are happily in love and will be for years to come. He has already asked me to marry him. We are going to wait a few years of course, but we plan to get married. Religion has nothing to do with it. | |
|
| |
| |
| Dating a seperated person
Posted: 3/27/2006 9:06:28 AM | "Example: "Thall shalt not kill" or "Thall shalt not steal" do not apply to modern society? "
Nope. I"m going to STEAL your Bible and BEAT you with it.
Yay for separated sex! | |
|
| Dating a seperated person
Posted: 3/27/2006 11:39:31 AM | Both the bible and the Catholic Church have many conflicting statements about marriage. One should not put themselves in a position where pain is ongoing.
Some of the stipulations that allow for a marriage annulment or divorce include one party cheating, abusive ( physical or emotional ), and also the absence of sex. Isn't that what tends to happen before a divorce? At least in my case we both stopped wanting it all together, attempts were awkward because I didn't feel the emotion anymore only pain.
If you want to take the words of the bible in a literal sense it states right in there that a woman should NEVER deny her husband sex, and I don't think anyone still thinks and acts that way do they? I certainly don’t.
All of that said I do not believe I could get into a sexual relationship until the divorce was final. Dating, yes perhaps, but I would imagine I would have problems giving them a sexual relationship when it felt right to them so it would be something that would need to be discussed in detail before the “dating” moved into anything serious.
I am working towards getting my divorce final and hoping “the right one” doesn’t fall into my lap and then get away because the ink is not dry yet.
In the end I think God has a plan and I will just know somehow. | |
|
| Dating a seperated person
Posted: 3/27/2006 3:39:09 PM | I am not dating yet...I have abosolutely nothing to contribute here
God loves seperated people too   | |
|
| Dating a seperated person
Posted: 5/28/2007 11:30:40 AM | Being a separated person myself, I think most separated people are just looking to expand their circle of friends and perhaps even experience (at least for a moment), some of tenderness they might have been missing in their marriage - we're all human and it's expected.
Understandable the phobias people may have towards getting to know someone who is separated but then again, we're all adults and should be able to control our emotions without feeling like we are wasting our time.
Personally, if I could change things, I would but I have no regrets and the experience gave me more self confidence and more focus as to what I want out of another relationship (be it friends or otherwise), not to mention life.
Too many people (in particular women, no offense, just my observation) seem to start with the end in mind ie marriage, kids, assets etc and that if you don't already fit their cookie-cutter profile of their ultimate knight in shining armour that will end their epic quest for "THE ONE", then they don't even want to think about wasting their time by getting to know you.
My point is, what is wrong with just getting to know people and making friends? I think that is what most people, separated or not, are just interested in and are open to seeing where it takes them - can't expect more than that no?
Best of luck friends... | |
|
| Dating a seperated person
Posted: 7/15/2007 2:04:24 PM | Actually, I refuse to date any person that has not been totally divorced for more than a year. Why? Emotional drama. I don’t allow myself to be treated that way, even if the sex is really, really good. Being emotionally abused by a woman that still harbors hate in her heart is not my idea emotional intimacy. However if both parties can agree that this is nothing more than a rebound relationship, then boundaries can be set. The recently separated is still not sure of self—who and what they are. Time needs to be spent on the inner work. Their new attachment is nothing more than delaying this knowledge of self. It has been said that when two separated/recently divorced people are in bed, there is actually four people there. You got it—the formers are there too. Oh what fun this becomes. Then there are those of us that want to take care of someone else. Yeah, like let me drive the ambulance for you, we’ll get you help. Or be the knight in shining armor rescuing the fair maiden from her own choices of the past. Let her become healthy. But if all we’re looking for is sex and the rush that accompanies it and not any emotional attachment then yes, dating one who is separated is an option. Be careful, for one morning they may wake up and say, “You know what? I need to move on. So long. Bye.”
I have found that staying emotionally unattached to the recently single woman is a boundary that best serves me and in the long run her.
Live life with a passion | |
|
|
| Page 14 of 14
|
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14 |
|
Home
login 
