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| Dating a seperated person
Posted: 3/15/2005 3:15:41 PM | Great post Soulbane! I can relate to a lot of what you said.
Good luck to all the separated folks out there, looks like we're going to need it. | |
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| Dating a seperated person
Posted: 3/17/2005 11:19:05 PM | To all
Some of you have still missed my point. I'll try it again, but in a much more simplistic fashion.
"Marriage" did not exist prior to Judaism. It just DIDN'T!
Divorce did not either. Women were merely bought and sold, like furniture.
Marriage is a religious institution. Legally, it is merely a contract, nothing more.
Moses is the one who allowed the first divorces, in case of someone cheating on their spouse.
Now, it is a different and legal institution also, but still not having the same meaning as Godly marriage.
Yet, both Godly and legal marriage still allows legal divorces.
Moses allowed divorce in case of adultry
Jesus did too. But legal divorce DOES NOT!!!!!!!!
Now, while allowing a "legal" divorce, God did not submit that it was also a finite divorce. He merely allowed it as a way of escape for those who were cheated on,
Since religion invented marriage and divorce, the legal parameters of it are different than legal ones.
Those who still subscribe to and submit to the original and religious marriage and divorce, also know that the same religion tells them to try to repair thier marriage if possible, but that if it's not possible, that they have the right to a legal divorce...but NOT to the right of a divorce approved by God or the Judaic religion,, the one(s) who invented it.
We by definition of religious marriage and divorce, have the right to do either, but again, Judaic religious marriage (the inventors of it) tell us that we can be divorced legally, but not religiously.
This is not rocket science to me, but I'm sure that it is to those who have room temperature IQ's .
It's religion on one hand and legality on the other, and the two do not co-exist. They are not related. DUH!
Go do the math, I don't want to, I've already done it, and it's not confusing. It's just a fact. DUH! Logic 101. | |
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| Dating a seperated person
Posted: 3/18/2005 3:02:01 AM | Those who still subscribe to and submit to the original and religious marriage and divorce, also know that the same religion tells them to try to repair thier marriage if possible, but that if it's not possible, that they have the right to a legal divorce...but NOT to the right of a divorce approved by God or the Judaic religion,, the one(s) who invented it.
orphes, i grew up a practicing R.C., but then i got older...and wiser....
what i quoted above is actually inaccurate. you do have a right to divorce and be approved by God, but it requires money.
it's called an annulment. and, the church doesn't care why you're getting a divorce, or even if there are kids involved...as long as you pay the money!!!!
i've done the math, over and over, and what i got adds up to: religious parties are the biggest money-making political parties out there.
my point? this thread is about personal preference. if you are against dating a separated person, it's your choice, but keep your religious beliefs out of your posts. | |
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| Dating a seperated person
Posted: 3/18/2005 2:48:07 PM | I have to say, I've attended even CHRISTIAN singles ministries...me being 33..I was dumbfounded to see the amount of divorced single women in this group. The irony of the church promoting 2nd marriages/dating? LOL.  | |
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| Dating a seperated person
Posted: 3/18/2005 5:38:14 PM | | What can you do? Some people can only paint with one colour and one beeeg brush. | |
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| Dating a seperated person
Posted: 3/18/2005 8:08:41 PM | | I love these stances of marriage authority via law in pre-Jesus times. Agape (selfless love for the other) didn't even exist as a concept until the 13th century. To go back 2000 years for the moral and legal word on matters of marriage is to give authority for an idea that wasn't born then. | |
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| Dating a seperated person
Posted: 3/19/2005 12:50:41 AM | Well, here we go again...
I have a niece. She got "married" not by license, but by "legal contract". She also got married in the eyes of her Church. Mind you, that I differentiate between "Benny Hinn" type of so-called "chrismatic" Christianity and REAL Christianity, but that is not my point. (This is really getting old, trying to educate educated people about the difference between legal marriages and Christian marriages). To begin with, the crap and garbage one finds on TV IS NOT Christianity. It's only a stupid show, a money-maker, a con. Hint, hint... are you starting to get my drift?
One more time...
"Legal marriage" is one thing, marriage by contract is another, marriage by license is still another, and marriage by a bunch of Hindu monks, or the Church of the Rising Sun Worshipers of Southern California, is still another. There is only ONE, true, original, distinct, marriage, and, class...? it is what?
MARRIAGE BY AND WITH THE APPROVAL OF THE BEING THAT STARTED AND INVENTED THE THING!
This is really getting boring. It's one thing to talk to a bunch of morons who don't quite get it the first time around, but it's quite another to have to repeat it over and over again, until a certain few finally understand it. I have a dog that even after a time or two, he will learn a new trick, one that he wasn't aware of... But! Even HE, can figure it out after awhile!
Man allows divorce for ANY reason, EXCEPT FOR ADULTRY . God allows divorce, but ONLY if there IS ADULTRY, BUT! God still never does dismiss the marriage. Why do you think the wedding vows say "till death do us part"? It's because we are married by (God) until death, NOT until we are legally divorced, And why? Because divorce is the invention of man, not of God. God only allowed it because mankind had hard hearts. Christians aren't supposed to have hard hearts, anmd therefore are supposed to try to mend thier marriage and get it back together, and it says so in the Bible. Non-Christians don't give a ratz adz, and it's because it's an easier way out.
Christians who marry and seperate, are still married after divorce, whether it be a divorce tomorrow, or ten years down the road. The legal divorce is merely a formality.
True Christians already know this. And those who aren't true Christians, don't give a rats ass anyway. I'm tired of explaining this. I really am. It's so basic that it shocks me that a few of you don't get it. Next time, those few who don't quite get it, go talk to a philosopher. Maybe they can teach you the difference. Obviously, I am not able to get through your thick skulls. I'm really trying though, I really am.
SEPERATED PEOPLE ARE STILL MARRIED, NO MATTER WHETHER OR NOT THEY EVENTUALLY GET A DIVORCE. And the God that non-Christians so vehemently despise, wants them to get back to a point where they have morals (also invented by God, and manifested in by the Jewish religion) again, and to quit looking for a cop-out, an easy, cowardly way out.
No wonder there is so much crime, cheating, perversion, and lawlessness in this world. No wonder little Susie and Johnny have only one parent. If we all worked hard enough to provide a better more Godly environment for marriage, divorce would eventually become an obsolute word, and we would all work better with each other to stay married, instead of running away from it, like a bunch of chickens.
Notice also class, that I don't refer to moral majorities, conservative "christians", "fundamentalists, or any other denomination. Why? Because that is not the definition of a Christian. That's why.
Now, LEAVE THE SEPERATED PEOPLE ALONE< SO THAT THEY WILL HAVE AT LEAST A LITTLE BIT OF A CHANCE TO REPAIR THEIR MARRIAGE!!!
Or, do you like contributing to the destruction of families, by endorsing, advocating, and encouraging more cheating, bed-hopping, and whoring around from one person to the next, and the next....
Larry out! | |
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| Dating a seperated person
Posted: 3/19/2005 3:50:15 AM |
This is really getting boring. It's one thing to talk to a bunch of morons who don't quite get it the first time around, but it's quite another to have to repeat it over and over again, until a certain few finally understand it. I have a dog that even after a time or two, he will learn a new trick, one that he wasn't aware of... But! Even HE, can figure it out after awhile!
ok, Pavlov...or, are you his dog? YOU don't seem to be getting it!!!
for all intensive purposes, the history of religion should...no, NEEDS... stay ouf of this thread. no one is questioning the history of marriage/divorce/religion. it's merely a question of personal preference. can't you just leave it at that? if you're not into dating a separated person, all you have to say is...NO!
and, why is it that everyone else who posted knows that this is a question of preference, and not religion? when people get married, regardless of religion, we all have to go through the same red tape....applying for marriage certificate, dealing with their own religious proceedures, blood work, etc. Everyone does it!!! And, the same goes for divorce...all Americans go through the same procedures, with the exception of the minor differences when it comes to their religious beliefs. understand yet? please say yes, as i'm sure even Pavlov's dog would have gotten this by now!
and, as for this comment...
I'm tired of explaining this. I really am. It's so basic that it shocks me that a few of you don't get it. Next time, those few who don't quite get it, go talk to a philosopher. Maybe they can teach you the difference. Obviously, I am not able to get through your thick skulls. I'm really trying though, I really am.
you condescending f*ck. you need to get over yourself. if there's one thing i can't stand, it's born again/devout Christians who look down on people whose beliefs are different. stop imposing your religious views on others. | |
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| Dating a seperated person
Posted: 3/19/2005 3:53:13 AM | do you think they were listenin MsPicky?..........I hope not.....this could get gOOD | |
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| Dating a seperated person
Posted: 3/19/2005 4:31:48 AM | | That is a great idea. Usually people say they want a divorce and don't realize what they are losing, and are thinking another person is the answer. When that person dumps them, they want the ex back, but then the ex is already gone. This is a really good suggestion to try to see that the new person can dump them just like they want to dump their potiential ex. | |
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| Dating a seperated person
Posted: 3/19/2005 5:14:39 AM | *Pokes mspicky with a sharp stick, 'cuz she's so cute when she's all fired up 
Opheus that last post was a mighty fine christian example, yep mighty fine. Jesus couldn't have said t better himself (please note the sarcasm).
But what orpheus might be referring to is-
The Lord said this: “And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality [i.e., fornication], and marries another, commits adultery” (Matt. 19:9)
orpheus' comment was-
"Man allows divorce for ANY reason, EXCEPT FOR ADULTRY . God allows divorce, but ONLY if there IS ADULTRY, BUT! God still never does dismiss the marriage. Why do you think the wedding vows say "till death do us part"? It's because we are married by (God) until death, NOT until we are legally divorced, And why? Because divorce is the invention of man, not of God."
Seems to me he clearly misread or as is often the case with "christians" distorted the scripture to further his point. Clearly "God" DOES disolve the marriage in the event of adultry, furthermore he created the concept of divorce- at least according to scripture.
I was immersed in "christianity" from day one in my life until I saw enough christian behaviour to convince me to regurgitate what I had been force fed. I know the bible. I know christianity. I know "christians". And to borrow a phrase from orpeus the christian, I no longer "give a rats ass" about any of them.
My opinion of religion-
Religions, especially christianity was created by man when minds were much simpler to explain his existance and to exercise an alternate form of political control.
Nietzsche was wrong, he never exited at all..... | |
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| Dating a seperated person
Posted: 3/19/2005 2:08:00 PM | "This is really getting boring. It's one thing to talk to a bunch of morons who don't quite get it the first time around"
While religion I feel can have a great amount of bearing to this topic - if religion is a part of your life - namecalling should have stopped around grade 6 in most folks cases, at your age Orphes you should really know better to hold a debate in a respectful manner and avoid remarks like that.
Take care | |
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| Dating a seperated person
Posted: 3/19/2005 3:51:09 PM | i think if the person is seperated and knows that their is no chance of ever getting back with their ex partner than i cant see whats wrong with it just because ppl ahve bad experiences doesnt mean they are not allowed to be happy too.......i believe that noone has the right to judge someone because he/she life is different to someone elses and alot of the time ppl that are seperated know exactly what they want from their next relationship so i think its less mucking around when it comes to that side of it .....i know that i dont want anyone who has alcoholic tendancies or who has violent tendenicies and its easy to be able to pick up on those when you have experienced it before hand...so i would say that if anything ppl who have been seperated have an advantage over others! yep that sounds good seeya pppls take care and be safe   | |
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| Dating a seperated person
Posted: 3/19/2005 4:00:42 PM | Now, LEAVE THE SEPERATED PEOPLE ALONE< SO THAT THEY WILL HAVE AT LEAST A LITTLE BIT OF A CHANCE TO REPAIR THEIR MARRIAGE!!!
Your whole screed is based on intolerance and a world view as narrow as a nail. If you remove the content of your dogmatic harangue to the forum where it belongs (Religion, ......D'uh), you are left with a beeg howling nothing.
zip
nada
I have a niece. She got "married" not by license, but by "legal contract". She also got married in the eyes of her Church. Mind you, that I differentiate between "Benny Hinn" type of so-called "chrismatic" Christianity and REAL Christianity, but that is not my point. (This is really getting old, trying to educate educated people about the difference between legal marriages and Christian marriages). To begin with, the crap and garbage one finds on TV IS NOT Christianity. It's only a stupid show, a money-maker, a con. Hint, hint... are you starting to get my drift?
Sure thing Larry, ...you are VERY fond of expressing yourself in non-sequitors, drift confirmed.
This is really getting boring. It's one thing to talk to a bunch of morons who don't quite get it the first time around, but it's quite another to have to repeat it over and over again, until a certain few finally understand it. I have a dog that even after a time or two, he will learn a new trick, one that he wasn't aware of... But! Even HE, can figure it out after awhile!
Larry, .....stop being such a putz.
Glad to hear that your dog found god though, ....now if he could just learn to bark in palindromes he could join Benny's ministry.
"Pay! Pay!" | |
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| Dating a seperated person
Posted: 3/19/2005 9:37:05 PM | One that amazes me is how 'true christians' can be so incredibly arrogant. 
Wasn't the original question about whether or not people would date a separated person? So, to answer the question, YES. I would date a separated person. | |
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medana
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Joined: 3/15/2005
Msg: 123 | |
| Dating a seperated person
Posted: 3/19/2005 9:44:23 PM | u guys r not taking into account the ones that can't get divorced...
sometimes separated really means single :) | |
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a_vamp
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Joined: 4/24/2004
Msg: 124 | |
| Dating a seperated person
Posted: 3/19/2005 10:20:14 PM | In my country, a couple has to be seperated for a period no less than 3 years before a divorce petition will be accepted in Court (4 years if one party objects to the split), except for the cases of adultery / unreasonable behavior, when the "suffering" party can file for a direct divorce and a Decree Nisi Absolute will be granted.
During separation, either party might meet someone but will not be allowed to marry the new party because he/she is "still married" but will not be at risk of being charged for adultery.
But yes, there's a chance that a seperated couple may reconcile. Therefore its really up to individual as to whether its ok to date a seperated person... because while I believe there're lots of honest people out there... I'd once dated a guy who claimed to be seperated only to have his estranged (or not) wife charged down from London and straight into the bar we were at... nightmare...  | |
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| Dating a seperated person
Posted: 3/19/2005 10:29:55 PM | | ...is not for me!! Been there; done that; too much drama!!! Although I understand there are "circumstances" in which prevail to keep the divorce from happening, unfortunately those "circumstances" often merge into the relationship in which I am attempting to have with that person thus an easy set up for more then one needs in life! | |
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