| Instant Magic - anyone else find it?
Posted: 8/21/2008 5:48:06 PM | Just had to add.
I have met another guy on here who is much (early 40's) younger then me. I usually try and stick to men around my own age but after talking to him several times by phone, messages and now MSN, the age difference just doesn't seem to matter any more.
We have exchanged pictures. He is very good looking and he loves my picture. We have great phone calls and make each other laugh and can talk for hours about anything. He is a very caring, wonderful considerate person. He is not afraid of commitment and is ready for someone in his life.
Really looking forward to moving on and finally meeting him. As he lives a few hours away this hasn't happened yet but we have made a date. Still a little leery after the last one but am finally ready to meet him. As you all know we take our chances on here, but I guess you just have to go for it.
Hope it works out so wish me luck! | |
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| Instant Magic - anyone else find it?
Posted: 8/22/2008 3:39:23 AM | I have had that several times in my life.
Not the 'lust' part (though that was indeed there too).
The 'click', the chemistry - instantly you hit it off. Conversation flows easily - no need for anyone to feel guarded - you both are instantly at ease with one another. Talking about anything and nothing. And when the meeting/date ends - you both wish that it weren't ending.
Yes, it is so very rare - but so very wonderful when you have that. | |
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| Instant Magic - anyone else find it?
Posted: 9/11/2008 8:09:36 AM | | Well John ive read your "forever" feeling and I would be very cautious because you said that before and you have been wrong! Be careful this time because if you make the wrong decision, you will loose maybe the last great relationship. Life is funny and very sensitive. We only have limited choices as we get older. Do we settle?...Or keep looking for the illusive dream? Maybe ive found him...and maybe not...time will tell I guess....in the mean time....doors are closed but ive opened a window and letting the light in....just waiting for the thunder and the lightening to strike! | |
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| Instant Magic - anyone else find it?
Posted: 9/11/2008 11:41:05 AM | Yup OP, that happ to me. Unfortunately the other person involved in it with me was still holding on to feelings from an ex, had like 2o female friends, and never stopped going on the dating site!!
All that passion, all those wonderful times, feelings, desires- wasted!@!
Oh well, such is life!!  Good luck to you both, may it turn out much differently then my situation did...
JJ | |
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| Instant Magic - anyone else find it?
Posted: 9/11/2008 11:58:17 AM | | Sorry to hear it didn't last. I regard the infatuation stage as the window of opportunity in which a pair can establish the deeper bonds of attachment which mean that love lasts beyond the infatuation. | |
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| Instant Magic - anyone else find it?
Posted: 9/22/2008 8:29:15 PM | | I've become jaded by instant magic. Now I'm taking it slow and careful, if I ever find 'magic' again, I'll slow down and ask myself what part of me is being fed, perhaps a need for praise, or being someone's Mr. Perfect? I don't have those needs anymore, not that I thought I did, but apparantly I was a push-over when the one I married talked sweetly to me with those pretty eyes and lips. She later assured me she was never in love with me at all. | |
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| Instant Magic - anyone else find it?
Posted: 12/2/2008 6:35:51 PM | I now know the different between instant magic, and a strong attraction. The attraction must be mutual, and must come from deeper places than simply a physical desire. I have learned to sense the difference in myself, but I think we men in particular, mistake physical attraction to much more, as we are more visual than women in most cases. The older I get, the more I have all this figured out, but I don't want to be 112 by the time I'm really ready to date sucessfully! LOL
Hopefully my gut instincts about attraction and my sense of it being reflected back to me will continue to improve so that I can make wise decisions well before then!  | |
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| Instant Magic - anyone else find it?
Posted: 12/27/2008 2:53:24 PM | So John, what happened with the lady you met after your ex-wife? Did slowing down help any? Your story has intrigued me.
I am nearing the one year mark with my "Instant Magic Man" and it is going better and better as each month passes. I have never had this before and it can be scary at times because it is so great.
Hang in there, I think you're on the right track!
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| Instant Magic - anyone else find it?
Posted: 12/27/2008 4:03:41 PM | lust, I found it on Aisle 5 next to the Woolite on the second shelf ...thanks. And while my experience wasn't exactly "instant" or "magic, many missing pieces seem to fall into place when I went to meet my SO from here. I do believe that it's taken me at least 30-plus years to meet a woman who is best friend and lover ...besides the wiser for her journey to where and when we seem to complement too well not to see and learn where we do go from here. Not exactly instant or magic.
I'm under the understanding that magic is something w/o a soul ...and only time will tell for us, and you, and you, and...
Yeah, it's kinda nice ...and especially as she's a bit of rebel w/ the heart of gold and still the astute learner. Keeps me on my toes ...she does, but not always ...and that's the best tactic for advancement besides fine w/me. | |
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| Instant Magic - anyone else find it?
Posted: 12/27/2008 4:11:22 PM | | Sounds like infatuational love and it differs from real love. So therefore what you're going thru might fade quickly. That happens during infatuation. Be careful and do take time to let it grow slowly. I hope yours lasts and becomes true love. Best of luck. | |
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| Instant Magic - anyone else find it?
Posted: 1/13/2009 8:39:32 AM | | ..I AM SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS. GO WITH THE FLOW AND TAKE IT FROM ME EACH TIME YOU FALL IN LOVE IT IS BETTER THAN THE LAST REGARDLESS IF IT LASTS OR NOT. I THINK A BIG PART OF IT IS BECAUSE WE BECOME MORE CAREFUL WITH LETTING SOMEONE INTO OUR HEARTS AND WE REALLY DOUBT THAT WE EVER WILL FEEL THAT AGAIN SO WHEN IT HAPPENS AND WE LET OUR GUARDS DOWN IT IS FIREWORKS WITH MORE APPRECIATION. ALSO LET ME SAY, IF YOU ARE GOING TO KEEP WALLS UP AND STAY CAREFUL BECAUSE OF BEING AFRAID OF A BROKEN HEART, YOU ARE CHEATING HIM OR HER AND YOURSELF. THERE ARE NO GUARANTEES IN LIFE AND WE SHOULD KNOW THIS GOING INTO ANYTHING BUT STILL BE POSITIVE . BLESS YOU ALL IN WHATEVER RELIGION OR FAITH YOU HAVE, WERE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER AND NOBODY GETS OUT ALIVE....... | |
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| Instant Magic - anyone else find it?
Posted: 1/13/2009 1:13:49 PM | | My timing gelling with women has always sucked. Sometimes I'm NOT looking for a girl and will completely ignores the signs that she's interested (and missed getting involved with a lot of terrific ladies, one of whom could very easily been "the one"). Other times I'm too eager and this scares her off. Gotta recognize those telltale signals, when she looks at me smiling with eyes gleaming...move right in and say "hello-!" | |
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| Instant Magic - anyone else find it?
Posted: 1/13/2009 2:33:56 PM | ok well i have to say i know for sure it happens. I t is rare to say the least but it happens.
When i met my husband i wasn't looking for anyone, i had given up for a while, i was 20. H ewalked up to me and asked if i would join him for dinner adn i kinda laughed because i had just talked to a friend about not dating anymore. I told him i wou love to go to dinner with him but i work nights so i wouldn't be able to but we could do lunch. From that moment on we were together, untill feb 1st 2006, when he died. the last thing he said ot me is that he wanted me to find a man who was younger (he was 21 years older than me) who could take care of me as i took cre of him fo ralmost 5 years. I miss him teerably but i have since found a mn that from the moment that we actually went out i hae felt like i have known him for years and we both know that some time in th efuture we will be marrie dalthought we are not in any rush to get there. Remember there is plenty of time for marriage later take the time to get to know the person. And best of luck to you.     | |
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| Instant Magic - anyone else find it?
Posted: 1/13/2009 2:53:23 PM | well i hope it works out for you dont listen to the cynics,hun,good luck ,it is rare ive never been so luckey myself on this site or the "real"world tak care x | |
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| Instant Magic - anyone else find it?
Posted: 1/13/2009 3:03:10 PM |
but i have since found a mn that from the moment that we actually went out i hae felt like i have known him for years and we both know that some time in th efuture we will be marrie dalthought we are not in any rush to get there. Remember there is plenty of time for marriage later take the time to get to know the person. And best of luck to you
Well I would wonder about any future with a person that's still looking for LTR on a dating site with no mention of being in a relationship. Nevermind one that omits the fact that she's widowed and uses single instead. But I hope it works out for you.
HR  | |
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ml456
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Joined: 5/14/2008
Msg: 92 | |
| Instant Magic - anyone else find it?
Posted: 1/13/2009 3:27:43 PM | | When I have felt "instant magic" during a first date, it was often based on infatuation / lust / physical attraction. For me, it usually takes a few dates ( barring any obvious dealbreakers ) to determine if there is any connection. | |
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| Instant Magic - anyone else find it?
Posted: 1/13/2009 3:52:21 PM | | I've experienced the magic myself. It is one of the best feelings you will ever have. Take your time though true love waits. | |
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| Instant Magic - anyone else find it?
Posted: 1/13/2009 4:06:38 PM | I´d say yes it can happen,but it can also dissapear as soon as it came...
I met my ex boyfriend in a pub and he came up to me and we started talking for ages and it seemed we´ve known each other for years,had loads in common and everything.
I thought he was gonna be the one,we moved in together and it was great...until 6 month down the line when he started to turn violent towards me,when he´s had a drink .
I let him get away with it a few times but in the end i binned him,pressed charges and moved away.
I´m now waiting for the 22nd to give evidence against him in Court.
So yeah i´d say there can be instant magic but try not to be blinded by it as it can end so quick and painful...
But after all that i still hope and wish that i´ll meet someone sometime and have this great feeling again.... | |
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| Instant Magic - anyone else find it?
Posted: 1/13/2009 4:17:35 PM | Sure I've had that happen several times in my life but eventually reality kicks in and you realise that life isn't the big fairytale you once believed it to be.
Enjoy it while it lasts. | |
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| Instant Magic - anyone else find it?
Posted: 1/13/2009 4:29:31 PM | Oh, it happens. And sometimes it's really and beautiful and other times it is extremely dysfunctional.
<div class='quote'> It happened to me just a couple of months ago. Messages, phone calls it was all there.
We didn't even know what the other one looked like but the first time I saw him, my heart skipped a beat. We sat for hours on a picnic table bench in a park and talked and kissed for hours. We were just so attracted to each and there was just magic between the 2 of us. He also felt it. Went out again and magic still there, then he just got scared. Said things were moving too fast.
Sometimes, like Bailey describes above, one person get's scared.
What it always is, though, is NOTHING to base a relationship on. Relationships require work, and to maintain that magical feeling of completeness being seen in the eyes of the other requires honesty, communication, vulnerability, love, love and more love.
Good luck to you OP, I'm happy you got your big chance! | |
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| Instant Magic - anyone else find it?
Posted: 1/13/2009 5:02:29 PM | WOW!!! What a great story OP... I only wish this had happened to me.
Isn't this what we all dream of happening when we meet someone from here?
Sounds like you are gonna get a shot at the fairy tale.
I haven't had this happen. but I did share a pretty magical kiss with a man from here.
Almost like my heart stopped for a moment.
It was wonderful.
Congrats, OP... and please keep us posted, we can all use some good words. | |
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| Instant Magic - anyone else find it?
Posted: 1/13/2009 6:32:49 PM | I had an infatuation years ago, and was really hurt when it came to an end. Recently met someone with that mutual "wow factor" and loved it but mistrusted it at the same time. Of course, it seems to have ended, but what a ride!
I highly suggest reading "The Road Less Traveled" esp for its definition of different kinds of LOVE. Very enlightening. About love, and living a good life w/ purpose, too. | |
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| Instant Magic - anyone else find it?
Posted: 1/13/2009 6:35:03 PM | I believe in love at first sight. Lasting love at first sight though . . . I'm on the fence personally.
I fell in love at first sight once. Too bad he turned out to be an emotionally, mentally and physically abusive alcoholic and heavy drug user. But hey - that's just my experience.
I haven't totally ruled out the idea that it could happen for me. It happened for my grandpa. He saw my grandma one day and said to his buddy, "See that girl over there? I'm going to marry her."
It can happen, so I learned to never say never.
If you found it, kudos! If this site is still kickin' in 20 years and if any of us - god help us all - still visit these forums, let us know if it worked out like you thought it would. | |
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| Instant Magic - anyone else find it?
Posted: 1/13/2009 8:29:46 PM | Funny that one...
i met two guys on dating sites ...one whom i knew something was happening but not sure what....we connected on so many levels we found it both scary and spooky.....we lasted only for mts but still have a massive connection and love each other 18mts on tho we are not 2gether as a couple...he is with a lady he met before me and fell in love with but was estranged from at the time.
met another guy this year and it was instant, my heart summersaulted and fluttered the minute i set eyes on him and he felt the same...gave me a silver last rolo and told me he'd always love me.....but our personalities were against us and dispite the love we called it a day after 6mts.
my daughter argues with me and says its lust not love...i disagree............but who knows. | |
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