| POF PLAYERS/STALKERS How do you cope with them?
Posted: 5/27/2007 5:47:26 PM | The block/delete button works best for me. And I don't usually give out my MSN or phone # until I have a good sense of compatibility (subliminal meaning: mental stability or you don't iritate me by asking inappropriate questions that you would not dare walk up to a complete stranger in a grocery store and ask!!) through conversation here where I do not have to disclose my personal info.
The few times I have ignored a "red flag" I regretted it. | |
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| POF PLAYERS/STALKERS How do you cope with them?
Posted: 10/13/2007 9:56:19 PM | | A guy I dated and broke up with back in the spring joined this site shortly after I did. He's already on three other paid sites, which he has been on for years. I met him on one of those other sites. After I dumped him, he told me that he would check on me on the other site we previosuly were both on, to see when I was active. I found this so creepy that I got off of that site and joined this one. Nex thing I knew, he was on here. I am thinking about cancelling my account because of this. Oh, and he insisted I dicthed him because I wanted a serious relationship and he didn't. In your dreams, pal! | |
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| POF PLAYERS/STALKERS How do you cope with them?
Posted: 10/14/2007 12:25:44 AM | I've got a loser been doing it for months now....he keeps making different profiles & trying to talk to me as someone new...always gives himself away...then starts insulting me...says horrible things...I just keep blocking & reporting him....I've had a friend say I should agree to meet him & then let him kick his a$$....but it's really not worth my time...nor is taking the time to even reply & insult him back...it's only fuels them on further..I have no sympathy for ppl like this..even though I know their lives must be truly pathetic...does suc that it's made me very wary of even speaking to anyone without a pic...  | |
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| POF PLAYERS/STALKERS How do you cope with them?
Posted: 10/14/2007 7:00:08 AM | Definitely email a moderator, as a Tickettoride suggested in your first post.
Blocking a "stalker" is the only way you can really deal with them on your own, and a dedicated stalker can get around that...so you definitely need help from a mod on that one.
Players are what they are. There's not much you can do about it. When one is exposed as being a player, just shrug it off and move on. Don't get too emotionally involved in anyone too soon...that way, although you might be ticked off a little at having been played, and for having wasted so much time with them, you won't get your heart broken.
A player will usually show their true colors sooner or later, SOONER, if you are paying attention. Sometimes even if you aren't. These things tend to just somehow expose themselves, usually. But you have to pay attention. If someone tells you something you don't want to believe, at least check it out. Don't just blindly believe what the "player" is telling you because you want to.
A lot of people who are "played" allow this to happen to them because they ignored red flags and the advice of others...and then they just "can't believe it" when they are presented with proof, and are heartbroken, when they KNEW it all along, they just wouldn't pay attention to their gut or whatever. Then they go on and do the same thing again, with the next jerk. They never learn. | |
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| POF PLAYERS/STALKERS How do you cope with them?
Posted: 10/14/2007 7:52:27 AM | Have you tried letting other women know what hes like too by writing in his testomonials? Thats something i'd do
Its a shame that players arnt straight with women too. As you said, they tell you things they know you want to hear just to get what they want.....Shame All the best though hun in your search | |
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| POF PLAYERS/STALKERS How do you cope with them?
Posted: 10/14/2007 6:04:17 PM | boy howdy...this one has my name all over it...heres what ya do op....you have 2 options and never look back...might even do a witness protection prograhm...or...invite them to a sacluded place....load pistal...and shoot...either them....or yourself
now for a seriouse side...if your like me your gonna have to put aside the nice guy attitude and just become down right rude...I had to do it once....remember it too well...and it sux...but it works!!! | |
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7Patt
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Joined: 9/12/2007
Msg: 134 | |
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| POF PLAYERS/STALKERS How do you cope with them?
Posted: 3/16/2008 1:19:04 PM | I had one recently, chanced upon my site, she wouldn't take no for a final answer. I insulted the hell out of her but she kept on with it. In real life instead of cyberville I'd have taken certain measures... no picture in her profile either. No doubt a scrubber.
My insults? I need a site just to display how to really wound someone with common usage of English. She's 53, should know how to behave by now. A nutcase, so if she reads this, the world will know if she persists. | |
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| POF PLAYERS/STALKERS How do you cope with them?
Posted: 3/27/2008 4:07:35 AM | Stalkers can be very harmful. They do and can invade privacy. They can hack accounts so don't have a obvious password like your cats name and you say your cats name on your profile.
Just block them if they are harrassing you. If you give them your real email address. Some email providers allow you to make disposable email addresses. Give that to any stranger because if they start harassing you can delete it and they don't have your real email address.
Always a bad idea to insult a stalker because that's like dumping fuel on the fire. Better to ignore them because they will get bored.
I have a good site that has very specific info on what to do about stalkers should you have the misfortune of having one. So if you need it ask. Other people have posted info so I won't beat a dead horse. If you meet someone make plans for your date that are a ways away from your house. Make arrangements with a friend with a car to pick you up if the person you meet freaks you out. Better to give out a cell phone number than a home number. Any idiot can easily get your home address via email searches. And limit the full blown I'm gonna disclose all my life to a stranger. Especially if the person freaks you out. If they ask where you go to school. Lie! If you go to Ottawa U say Carlton. I think even if you hit it off with someone. I think it's a bad idea to get a ride with them until you know them better.
Stay safe! | |
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| POF PLAYERS/STALKERS How do you cope with them?
Posted: 3/27/2008 5:21:22 AM | | I think that I am starting to have the same problem....I am not sure who is doing it but have and idea. It was a quick meet for coffee.....and the man in question ended up just getting out of prison for threatening someone in the mail.......I can't be certain this is who it is but gut instinct...tells me that it is a possible,,,,Whoever it is, I believe is following through the fourms even through he isn't posting. It is always someone without a picture. Honestly this is a pretty scarey thing. And the one I think that is doing it is a bona fide nut.............Blue | |
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| POF PLAYERS/STALKERS How do you cope with them?
Posted: 3/27/2008 7:53:34 AM | | I never give my phone number, or other personal information to anyone on line. If someone immediately gives me their phone number or asks to meet right away, that is a red flag warning to me. If someone becomes a nuisance and refused to take no for an answer, then you should definitely report them to the proper authorities. | |
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| POF PLAYERS/STALKERS How do you cope with them?
Posted: 3/27/2008 8:16:19 AM | This actually did happen to a friend of mine, but didn't last long.
She met him once or twice in real life, then discovered he was marred and stopped communicating.
He emailed her from different profiles for a while, but eventually he quit.
Personally, I had one guy that emailed me once. I wrote back "hi" small talk etc. Something pretty basic, no more than a sentence or two.
Then, literally, his next emails were "I thought we had something going here betweeen us, why did you stop writing?" and then they got more aggressive after that. Creepy, but not completely out of hand. Eventually they stopped.
I don't know if I would call either of those cases stalkers as I think people throw that word around too easily, but they definitely weren't comfortable situations.
Have you met this person in real lfe or spoken on the phone? | |
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| POF PLAYERS/STALKERS How do you cope with them?
Posted: 3/27/2008 8:20:57 AM | I never give my phone number, or other personal information to anyone on line. If someone immediately gives me their phone number or asks to meet right away, that is a red flag warning to me. If someone becomes a nuisance and refused to take no for an answer, then you should definitely report them to the proper authorities.
SO wait, if a man OFFERS you THEIR phone number, that's a red flag....VERY Silly if you ask me.
Funny, I remember getting advice from men and women alike to OFFER your number, so she will feel more "Safe" about the encounter...making her feel comfortable and in controle and now YOU say otherwise? 
Very funny, Nanya
Congrats you've eliminated any online dating possiblities....just stick to the real world bookstores and grocery stores. | |
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| POF PLAYERS/STALKERS How do you cope with them?
Posted: 3/27/2008 8:44:27 AM | I am so scared anymore of such a thing. I have met some nice people. However I have learned to be more disearning. Such people who do these things must realize that this is not acceptable. Also there are many that are vindictive. Sad, no wonder they are alone. Thank You so much for bringing this forward! | |
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| POF PLAYERS/STALKERS How do you cope with them?
Posted: 3/27/2008 9:02:38 AM | Being stalked in person is even more scary. I met a girl in the choclate store in the mall talked to shared some kisses with. I even let her give me a handjob. I made a mess on her pantsuit blazer. Anyway after just meeting her once she went to my job and started asking my co-workers if I had a girlfriend Where I was, who I was with and when I was working next. i found thsi out form one of my co-workers it freaked me out! Unfortubnately I made the mistake of giving her my phone number and she called my house and interigated my mom. Asking her those same questions. And she called every half hour pissing off my parents. So my parents had had it and my co-workers were weirded out and feared for my safety. I went to her job and approached her and told her that I don;t like her interrigating ym parents and find her lack of faith disturbing. And I told her not to call me anymore and left. She came to my job to btoher me and followed me around when she saw me int he amll but eventually stopped when I did not return her phone calls and ignored her and she eventually went away. And I think my "Adam Juice"  permanently stained her Blazer pant suits look ugly on women anyway. | |
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| POF PLAYERS/STALKERS How do you cope with them?
Posted: 3/27/2008 2:00:49 PM | | Right now I am deleting all my mail without a profile that seems to be the theme...I have always taken the time to Email others back...whenever I meant this person I was nice but suggested he get counseling.....he was a nut job. You can never know by talking to someone on the internet or chatting online with them...I have always prided myself in being able to tell the difference but this time I couldn't. So much for my instint....or maybe I wasn't listening to it. But I didn't tell him where I lived and gave him my cell phone number and I think that was a safe bet....if anyone has any other ideas I would love to hear them. I still have his phone number and if the problem contintues I think that he is on probabtion and I will call and notify his parole officer. I am not sure if it is him or not but the theme and behavior are simlar to what he was arrested for earlier.........Blue | |
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| POF PLAYERS/STALKERS How do you cope with them?
Posted: 3/27/2008 2:44:16 PM | | I had a friend tell me about this site. She told to keep my photos to myself and I didn't understand why. I have only been on here a short time. In that time I have been IM'd by 10 men and 3 women; 2 of the men were nice, rest were pretty disgusting, including the women. I still have faith that the good ones will make up for the bad. Just going to have to weed out the bad ones is all. Kind of sad though. I'm a firm believer in what goes around will come around. Nothing like Karma!!!! | |
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| POF PLAYERS/STALKERS How do you cope with them?
Posted: 3/28/2008 5:37:07 AM |
Right now I am deleting all my mail without a profile that seems to be the theme...
I should have said a profile picture,,,,,,,,I am blocking anyone without a picture because this seems to be part of the harassment.......and I very seldom if ever take a IM because I can never tell who it is....so right now I am being very careful. I figure these kinds of people must not have a life or anything if they have time to bother other people or stupid stuff....I figure they are mentally ill and that is what makes them so scarey and unbalanced..........Blue | |
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| POF PLAYERS/STALKERS How do you cope with them?
Posted: 5/14/2008 5:39:53 PM | | I think I met a scammer. Loved me within three weeks. Good hearted Southern cowboy. He tells everyone even in the first emails he wants to have it like grandma and Grandpa had. The splendor of love. I dought he even had a grandma and Grandpa or even a dam horse. So many stories and nothing add up......????????? Oh yes I am right here in Good Old Central Missouri aND YA'LL know what that means. LOL | |
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| POF PLAYERS/STALKERS How do you cope with them?
Posted: 5/15/2008 6:08:43 AM | | completely ignore them in future.......had an experience that has left me damaged and angry that some people can be so sly dishonest untruthful etc imet a member not far from me met a few times then he decided he was still in love with his ex and didnt want me anymore.....after id been shopping taken him to pubs made lunches with itwems id bought on way....... | |
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| POF PLAYERS/STALKERS How do you cope with them?
Posted: 8/28/2008 3:12:37 PM | | Reading several of your posts on this... report him to POF moderators. They will ban his IP address from creating any further profiles and delete his. At least I heard that they do that. | |
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