eman07
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Joined: 6/30/2006
Msg: 26 | |
| women with a lot of male friends
Posted: 8/18/2006 9:25:55 AM | Again, let me say this again....there is nothing wrong with a female having friends that are male.......my whole point is this....if a guy freind has tried to have sex with you, and you neglet to tell me that when we are dating, that is wrong....because two things...1. they are not a "freind" if they have tried to have sex with you, even if you have turned them down. I dont want you friends with a guy who has tried to have sex with you, call me wierd, im just like that. 2. Im trying to understand the whole logic of being freinds with an ex. PLease explain it to me. If you are such good freinds without being boyfreind / girlfriend, then why arent you together? isnt that what a relationship is? being freinds?....i have some ex's , i wouldnt be freinds with them , well, cause they are EX'S!!! DUH......if i see them out, i will say hi, how you doing, and move on.
Its the whole double standard in society, applies here also.
1. a man lives at home=momma's boy, immature, cant grow up.....women lives at home=trying to get life back together, ex has screwed them. bla bla bla.....
2. man is a stud if sleeps around....women is a slut if sleeps around ( i dont agree with this one by the way....you are both whores)
3. men are suppose to accept women who have tons of male freinds, but let another women call a man while he is with his g/f...go over like a fart in church.....
4. women cheat cause a man is abusive and doesnt treat them right.....men cheat cause we are ass holes and think with the wrong head. | |
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| women with a lot of male friends
Posted: 8/18/2006 12:01:06 PM | | I have found that past girlfriends were not thrilled with me having female friends so I try to take that in to consideration. Its all a give and take. Things can be totally platonic but when I care about somebody I dont want her to feel insecure with me so I try to make sure things are kept to a very respectable level. That said one of my best friends is female and her husband trusts me and her hanging out 100%. In fact I invited her to my game tonight since he is working tonight. :) | |
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| women with a lot of male friends
Posted: 8/18/2006 3:34:45 PM | | I'm not the controlling or over-jealous type...just want to make that clear first. It depends on the guy that my girl wants to hang out with. If it's a friend since high school I have no problem with her hanging out with him. If it's some sleaze ball that I hear from others that he is saying he wants to get in her pants but she is too naive to see it, then I have a big problem with it. Not that I think she'll do anything bad, but I don't want my girl in that situation with some a-hole with bad intentions and an agenda. So if that's the case, it could cause some problems between us. Other than that, she can hang out with who she pleases. We need to be independent and have our own lives and friends to be happy. | |
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| women with a lot of male friends
Posted: 8/18/2006 7:07:35 PM | My circle is nearly always more male than female, but my closest friends do remain female. Yes, a guy could end up in the friend zone, I don't know any of my guy friends who regret that, they've all been the beneficiary of my friendship in someway that they are grateful for. I have recently pushed away a few male friends and my two exbf because I feel they are keeping me from just getting a date. When I do get a date, there is the press of these guys, as guard dogs and as exes that makes a date feel unwelcome.
Gini | |
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| women with a lot of male friends
Posted: 8/18/2006 7:14:03 PM | To respond to some other points made:
I prefer a man who has strong relationships with many women.
I'm friends with my exes because I was friends with them before we dated and that was part of the problem- we were mores suited to friendship. but also, they, and the relationship, changed an awful lot when I became *owned* by them. It wasn't a good change either.
My brother lives at home post-divorce, but he took forever to leave in the first place and has been with Mom for many years since the divorce. The whole family finds the situation to me LOSER, though we love him.
I do think, however, if a parent moves in with a man, or if (legit!!!!), he is moved in to help them in their later years, that this is admirable, and if the family is functional, I'd take his parents into my heart right along with him and demand they stay a part of the household should we join ours.
Gini | |
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| women with a lot of male friends
Posted: 8/18/2006 7:39:36 PM | Hello all just read through all this and wanted to add something.
I used to have a lot of female freinds, when i was married this caused problems. The interesting thing about this is when my marraige was over, suprise suprise those freinds also disapeared.... It took me a while to figure it out but i think i finally did. These women not all women, crave intimacy and need to feel safe. A married person is safe, or I would like to think so.
I don't believe for a second that women who have lots of male freinds aren't getting more out of it then a ball game. And it has absolutely nothing to do with sex. However I don't see anything wrong with it either. Everyone has needs and good on them, for getting those needs met. When the need is gone so will the boy freinds.
this is only my opinion, not a shot at women or men that do the same.
Loveisgone | |
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| women with a lot of male friends
Posted: 8/18/2006 7:49:26 PM | Most of my friends are male. Not because I feel more comfortable with men, but because I love the outdoors. I love camping, biking, rodeo....etc., and so do most of my male friends. I'd rather go horseback riding and hiking on the weekend than almost anything else.
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| women with a lot of male friends
Posted: 8/18/2006 9:46:39 PM | | The OP's original question was, "What's the first thing that goes through your mind when you meet a woman with lots of guy friends?" Well, my first thought is, here's a happy, socialable and well-adjusted individual. Down the road, yes, I'd have to evaluate it on a case by case basis if we were to become involved, were these guys ex BFs, do they have more than just friendly intentions etc, but she deserves the benefit of the doubt as first blush, just like I would expect of her with me and my female friends. | |
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| women with a lot of male friends
Posted: 8/19/2006 6:50:55 AM | most females with lots of male friends like loads of attention. who agrees with this statement?
I AM one of those females and I'd sooner blend in than get a whole bunch of attention.
If i came on here and said i had tons of female freinds, and i have dated a few, but now we are freinds, are the women who are bashing me be so open?
Yeah... your past lovers aren't any of our business.
If her "friends" are calling asking to bang her, then they aren't friends. Actual friends wouldn't do that $hit KNOWING she has a BF. Anyone with even the merest ounce of sense would drop so called "friends" who keep trying to sleep with them.
They wouldn't need to be threatened with losing a bf to do so. It'd annoy us way more than it seems to annoy you.
The whole "women might not have the "faintest" clue".....PLEASE, are you serious?.....you dont think one of your guy freinds wouldnt lay you if you gave them a chance? cut the "im so niave" attitude, i have said this a million times, women are much smarter than men, all women know this, dont play the "dumb" act now..
Yes, I am serious!!
You mean if my "friend" never tries to sleep with me, I'm just supposed to KNOW he wants to? Get real please... I'm not a mind reader... I'm sure if you take a poll of women, you'll find that none of us can read minds.
No one's acting dumb, pal. If our so-called "friends who wanna F*ck us" never make a move, how the hell would we know?
That's what we refer to as common sense. | |
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| women with a lot of male friends
Posted: 8/20/2006 9:32:23 AM | | eman07 it is perfectly normal you could be your ex' friend, but that will depend on how mature both of you are to face your "new" relationship, and in which term the couple relation you have ended, and sometimes they have a better relationship that they used to have as a couple, most of my friends are males and as they know me very well they already know i am not gonna "sleep" with them (no cause i dont like men) and that means they respect and appreciate our friendship, a male friend is like you brother that one you can enjoy, share, things and have fun and good moments,be both yourself with out ended in a bed...well that is what my males friends are for me, of course i have females friends as well, but for me having males friends help me to understand better the opposite sex lol... | |
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| women with a lot of male friends
Posted: 8/20/2006 9:53:28 AM | I'm used to guys from growing up with brothers, so most of my friends are guys. Now, if I meet another chick and she likes to do things like fishing, camping, working on her own vehicle, riding horses, riding motorcycles, rollerblading, can laugh at stupid stuff and herself, is genuine AND we can have each other's backs? We'll be buds. If not, hang what people think.
Get 'er done!! | |
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eman07
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Joined: 6/30/2006
Msg: 37 | |
| women with a lot of male friends
Posted: 8/20/2006 9:56:57 AM | | you like to do all the guy stuff in the world....hang out with guys who do all the stuff that you do.......are you single?....that is my only question..if you like to do all that...hell i will fly to whever you are and date you......it just baffles me.... | |
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| women with a lot of male friends
Posted: 8/20/2006 10:29:54 AM | I've skimmed through most of the replys to this thread so if I repeat anything sorry........
Growing up I had about an equal ratio male:female friends.......... then something changed. I don't know what it was (maturity...... getting boobs....... I just don't know) my female friends seemed to change. Some seemed to hate me for some unknown reason (maybe a guy they liked liked me????) while I had some who ended up downright "using" me (cause I could attract guys which they proceeded to secretly call telling them wild and whacky tales which they for some unknown reason believed then hitting on them BIGTIME!!! But that's another story altogether). I've become "jaded" so to speak......... find it hard to trust other women and although I have a few female "friends" it's not on a deep level (if you get my drift...... no BFF).
Guys are easy to understand..... will tell me when I'm being a dork and if you find the ones that aren't just wanting to be your friend to get into your drawers then you've found one that will go that extra mile to help a defenseless little blue eyed blonde when she calls....
Sure I'm a girly girl alot of the time (paint my toenails, toerings, anklets, etc) but I'm also up for the more "masculine" pursuits too........ biking, cars, home repairs, etc. Can look pretty darn good checking my oil in a bikini LOL............ | |
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eman07
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Joined: 6/30/2006
Msg: 39 | |
| women with a lot of male friends
Posted: 8/20/2006 10:36:03 AM | fiero....are you single?....i will fly to whever you are and date you......if you single and have lots of guy freinds, but do all the "guy" stuff, get along with guys.. bla bla bla...then why are you single?...you should be the catch of the century........if you get along with guys better, have lots of guy friends, it tells me that if i do date you, you will get along with me, but, just be my freind......
get my point? | |
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| women with a lot of male friends
Posted: 8/20/2006 10:49:24 AM | Single........ yep............... why am I single???? Beats me.............. not for lack of trying on my part.
Am I looking to make more male friends ........... NO! Am I looking to find a guy I can have a loving relationship with............. BY GOD YESSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!
eman07........ if you can tell me what I'm doing wrong then please by all means do.......... I've been told I'm pretty cute (even hot by some), great listener, up for any challenge, have a steady job, keep in good shape and am open about what I'm looking for (read my profile or better yet just ask).
Do I just want to be your friend.................... NOPE............ but if that's all I can be then I can live with that.............. I've been alone (even in a "relationship" you can be alone) far too long and need a man I can call a friend, companion and lover......... | |
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eman07
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Joined: 6/30/2006
Msg: 41 | |
| women with a lot of male friends
Posted: 8/20/2006 10:53:53 AM | I guess my question would be , odd one at that....do you give off the freind vibe?....if i was dating you and you told me you had tons of guy freinds, it wouldnt that i would be jealous, it would be that i would get thrown in the freind zone.......
Guys dont understand how a girl can get along with men SO WELL, do all the guy things, and NOT have a boyfreind.....does that make any sense to you?.....if a guy has tons of female freinds, but doesnt have a g/f he is gay....see the difference?....or he is "assumed" gay i think......i dont know...i would dat eyou in a heartbeat, and if all that is true, then we would be the best couple ever, not saying your doing anything wrong persay, but i am saying you might be giving off the friend vibe..... | |
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| women with a lot of male friends
Posted: 8/20/2006 11:05:55 AM | Guess I need to be more direct then.......... perhaps wrestle them to the ground have my way with them??????? Don't think it hasn't crossed my mind (did I say I have a wild side????). Sure everyone could use more friends but that is NOT what I'm looking for here.......... I guess I need someone to show explain to me just how not to give off that friend vibe...... but cruel b*tch I can't do.... | |
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| women with a lot of male friends
Posted: 8/20/2006 12:20:15 PM | After my friend controlling husband had left me a few months ago I find that I really don't have any friends left so male or female friends would be great.
My answer close friends are hard to come by male or female.
Rhonda | |
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eman07
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Joined: 6/30/2006
Msg: 44 | |
| women with a lot of male friends
Posted: 8/20/2006 1:54:38 PM | ok fiero, im gonna try and play dr phil here......
It seems odd to me that you have all these male freinds all this in common and none of them have tried to get with you for dating. this tells me one of two things, they are with someone else (the obvious one) or they dont think you are g/f material. Another question for you, are you too picky?...you seem like you would be a great g/f and all the things that intrest you, yet you seem to have lots of male freinds, and no one is intrested in you. Are you really as open as you say, or are you really looking for the perfect man?......
At some point you have to look at yourself and realize what it is. You have guy friends, but no b/f....think abou that for a sec....guys like to hang out with you, but not date you, OR , you like to hang out with guys, and not date them....which one is it? | |
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weena
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Joined: 7/21/2006
Msg: 45 | |
| women with a lot of male friends
Posted: 8/20/2006 2:01:16 PM |
whereas most girls won't tell you that, cause they want you to be a little less attractive than them (In my experience, anyway)
m'dear - if that's been your experience with female friends, I feel sorry for you, because they haven't been true friends. Not one of my female friends has ever pulled that kind of crap that you speak of and I would never do that to them. | |
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eman07
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Joined: 6/30/2006
Msg: 46 | |
| women with a lot of male friends
Posted: 8/20/2006 2:02:46 PM | women dont dress sexy to impress men......
women dress sexy to look better than the women next to them .......
if you dont beleive that, then you have a lot to learn..... | |
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weena
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Joined: 7/21/2006
Msg: 47 | |
| women with a lot of male friends
Posted: 8/20/2006 2:05:11 PM | | I'm not in competition with other women, so it's not me that has to learn anything. Who were you talking to? | |
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| women with a lot of male friends
Posted: 8/20/2006 2:20:35 PM | Okay Dr Phil LOL
of the guy friends I have almost all have "hit" on me at one point or another....... married or not. For me I've come to the conclusion that it's a fact of life. Sure there are a couple that haven't but they are a rare bird in my opinion.......... so........... what does that say?????
It's ruined a couple of good friendships though.......... sometimes it's a matter of saying I'm flattered but just don't think of you like that but sometimes that's just not enough. You have to totally break off the friendship and that can be hard when you work with the person. Other times if the situation is right (both single, etc) then sure if I think it might work I would "give it a go" but they have been rare.
Am I looking for the perfect man........... nope............. I'm not perfect by any means so don't expect that from anyone else........ but ........... that doesn't mean I'm not looking for certain things........ no point even getting to know someone unless you have a few basic things that are in agreement.
BTW the hardest thing I've found is not only staying friends with the married guys who hit on me but looking their wives in the eye afterwards.......cause I just know I'm not the only one they have tried to hit on (once a cheater always a cheater). | |
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| women with a lot of male friends
Posted: 8/20/2006 5:08:29 PM | I'd have to say that half of my friends are male. My male friends and I will hang out, go camping, fishing and so on... stuff that most of my female friends aren't really interested in doing. My female friends are the ones who I rely on to share my emotions/feelings with and that's why you need friends of both sexes.
There's a different level of friendship when it comes to people of the opposite sex, and no... my male friends aren't there just because they think that they can get me in the sack. They have respect for me and they're my friend just because I'm fun and they want to be around me!
I think that if your boyfriend/girlfriend can't accept the fact that you have friends of the opposite sex, then you might want to re-evaluate your own relationship with that person...it's called jealousy! | |
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| women with a lot of male friends
Posted: 8/20/2006 6:11:58 PM | | Eman is right. I get asked by guys all the time am I single (yes), and then they ask why, and I have no clue. Prolly fear of committment. | |
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