| Prostate cancer ...guys,how have you handled it/or not...Ladies, how have you been supportive/or not
Posted: 6/17/2009 2:24:40 PM | Woodby said: the man I most loved in the world was a colorectal cancer survivor. Massive surgery, chemo, and radiation made the "mechanics" somewhere between totally not working-to-random. Had he, or I, believed that poking was all that was involved in lovemaking, we'd both have been SOL. I didn't see him as *diseased* -- he was simply the man I loved. He died two and a half years ago, and I'd give a lot if that hadn't happened. And I'd be delighted to have him back, plumbing working or not.
Woodby good for you.. the last thing in the world a man in this condition would need would be a woman that was not standing behind him every single step of the way..
thecatsmeoww | |
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| Prostate cancer ...guys,how have you handled it/or not...Ladies, how have you been supportive/or not
Posted: 6/21/2009 1:08:45 PM | hey grannieannie,
I apparent your honesty. I met a man on here POF and i really liked him and dated him. i really cared alot. he has prostate issues and dumped me on my butt by saying he wanted to go it alone. he says that even tho we got along great and was good together, we could talk about anything and had alot in common, he did not feel we had a relationship in which he could ask me to wait. as i tried to tell him it should be my choice and would like to know about the problems and what was to come. well, its been a IM here or email there. after two months, he calls me twice in two days and both times stiffed me. when i finally asked him to meet for coffee he did. i was very disappointed in the way he acted. instead of a kiss hello... i got the cheek thing...i have never in my life got a mans cheek before. during the coffee, he told me how much he needs his friends and family. and tells me he made breakfast for a lady friend he knew only 5 months. i told him how can you be friends with a women, you knew in 5 months but cant be friends with me? he said he did not date her. long story short the coffee went on and on with him tell me about other women that are "friend" and he doesnt feel whole etc. i had to leave and so did he so i said "buy a senitivity chip dear and dont keep telling me about other women ...its rude and i really think its to much information... he than gave me a real kiss good bye. i left right after. two hours later he sent me a IM saying " wow ur a great kisser". how did you know when enough was enough? am i waiting for someone that will never be able to care? or is the prostate issue effecting his mind too? i have so many questions but have no one to ask. thanks for hearing me out. | |
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| Prostate cancer ...guys,how have you handled it/or not...Ladies, how have you been supportive/or not
Posted: 8/24/2009 6:09:24 AM | | i am a prostate cancer survivors wife. he was diagnosed at 48 yrs old and had a radical prostatectomy 11 months ago. we sought 3 different oppinions and decided to go to vanderbuilt in nashville for surgery. my husband and i were never told the true reality of the surgery. life after surgery has been hell on both of us. for him it has been ll months of urinary incontinence ie wearing urine filled "man" pads. which is basically a kotex designed in the shape of a triangle instead of what women are familiar with. and as far as what we were told pre surgery was " u are so young im sure u will have no problem with erection...Well that is totally the opposite of what our reality has been. he is totally unable to achieve a full erection and can not sustain a partial erection unless he constantly stimulates himself... this is the true reality of our life now . no sex for me ,11 months and counting. no matter the medication or the advice nothing has changed anything. and there is nothing more painful, sad or dehumanizing than laying beside your spouse that u have been married to for 19 years aching for what everyone else has and knowing that it will never be the same for me. i have had many emotions during this past 11 months it has been a horrible roller .coster ride that i would not wish on anyone. after the initial shock of the diagnosis i was thrust into the position of total support and care giver. then once he was back 2 work my role changed to realizing what if feels like to sleep with a very young child. wetting himself , washing urine soked clothing and totally unresponsive penis. now i am very angry and resentful. i realize he did not personally choose this to happen to our family but neither did i. it is his body that failed. not mine. my desires and needs are as much if not more but unless i step out of my marrage for sex i will probably never feel a human inside me until we are either divorced or die. that is very sad to me. i am 45 yrs old and the thought of celebasy for the next 30 or 40 hears is not something i am looking forward to. i love my husband but what about me? please do not respond to me unless u have walked down the same road. | |
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