| Female psychos and stalkers. What to do?
Posted: 8/18/2006 6:11:50 PM | Im gonna go against the grain here.... having dealt with an Ex-Girlfriend who was a psycho stalker... I will tell you this... restraining orders... cant help you... the police... cant help you..... especially if the girl is attractive... in the society we live in... a lot of people... especially the cops... who are more or less fascist boneheads.... will never believe that these frail little creatures called women can ever be a threat to a man..... Its one of those Dr Phil... Women are Godesses/ Men are dogs type thing... Its feminism at its ugliest.... actually... or maybe its the exact opposite of feminism....... I mean nowadays... women are becoming doctors and CEO's and whatnot.... but some... (not all.... ) women will use the fact that they are female to their advantage to an obscene amount.... For example... the psycho previously mentioned.... used to hit herself... with whatever she could... why???? because then everyone would think that I did it.....
Another example..... We were out in the street... loud arguing... she's threatning like she's gonna run out into traffic etc.... Next thing I know... some guy is consoling her... I try to approach... guy starts threatning me with a bat... tells me to keep walking etc... I believe Im making my point clear here....
Meanwhile... As men... all we have to do is make one inapropriate phone call or whatever... and all of a sudden were these big bad monsters.... Makes me wanna throw up.....
So back to my original point.... the police cannott help you.... a restraining order will not help you.... You really think they care about a restraining order... Like the girl in the movie "Next Friday..." Day-day's girl.... yeah... exactly... by the time you call the cops... and they get there.... Its already probably too late... and she's long gone....
So what should this guy do?????? Honestly theres no clear answer here.... the only thing I can think of is for you to scare the living crap out of her... Perhaps.. maybe if you have some relatives or friends that are women... maybe that are a little bigger... know how to fight... just to y'know... check her... let her know... understand...... If ya happen to know any contract killers or whatever... for about 10-15 K you can make her disappear.... I know I might catch some flack for this one... but honestly... I would try to push her to the edge of insanity if worse comes to worse... remember... you are Numero uno.... If it was me... I would rather she killed herself because of me... than to kill me... because of me.....
Peace  | |
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| Female psychos and stalkers. What to do?
Posted: 8/18/2006 6:21:57 PM | Yeah, well from what I read about you from some of the other posters... Ill bet there are a few contracts out on you as we speak..... 
OT... Um Female psychos and stalkers are bad... u should definitely do something.... | |
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| Female psychos and stalkers. What to do?
Posted: 8/18/2006 6:27:46 PM | Well... you can tell her that your mother is now jealous of her so you can't see her anymore... cause you always listen to mommy dearest...
Seriously... tell her that you will involve the police if her contact with you continues... having a stalker is nothing to take lightly...
Good luck... | |
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| Female psychos and stalkers. What to do?
Posted: 8/18/2006 6:39:53 PM | Msg4.....It's not always possible to get to know someones behaviour patterns over one or two dates! These type of people have strange minds. They can appear to be completely normal and nice etc, then turn on a person just like that. I know this first hand as my sister is very much like that and i knew her for years and years as you can imagine. Something just 'snaps' in their brain and they cannot handle rejection. Ever seen the movie 'Play misty for me'? watch it if you get the chance. | |
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| Female psychos and stalkers. What to do?
Posted: 8/18/2006 6:53:37 PM | I had an email stalker too. Do NOT reply, and block her telephone number. If she turns out to be a real stalker, you'll need proof of harassment so make sure to keep the mail. If it upsets you, don't even read them- just send them directly to their own folder.
If she comes to your house or workplace, THEN you call the cops. You can then explain the situation, and show them all the emails. They will tell her to leave, and give her a warning- and unless she is a total fruitcake, that alone will scare her enough so that will be the end of it.
My stalker sent mails, and threatened to come to my home, but actually never did. Most people are sane enough to realize that is crossing the line, and they give up if emails/calls are not returned or aknowledged in any way.
Good luck! | |
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| Female psychos and stalkers. What to do?
Posted: 8/18/2006 7:31:12 PM |
I told her I didn't want to be in a relationship, but we could be friends w/o benefits.
OP - So by what you said you DID NOT tell her that you didn't want anything to do with her. For the record, friendship is a type of relationship.
If you do not want anything to do with her ever again, tell her directly "I DO NOT WANT TO SEE OR HEAR FROM YOU EVER AGAIN." Do not say that you don't want to date her, you just want to be friends - that says that you still want to talk to her and see her.
The point that 'the real deal' was trying to make, and a lot of people cut her down, was there if this girl were to post that she was with this guy that said he didn't want to date her, but still see her and still be friends - then she would be told that you are just using her to get what you want, etc. etc. You would be the person being slammed.
There are 3 sides to every situation - the man's, the woman's and the truth. None of us here knows the real truth, yet so many think they can give advice. | |
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| Female psychos and stalkers. What to do?
Posted: 8/18/2006 7:49:23 PM | I agree with the advice, cut off contact and don't worry about her feelings or looking like a good guy.
Sometimes these situations start because of unclear messages. Not saying this is the case but its something guys should be aware of.
Guys can get swept up in romance just like women can. Then all of a sudden realize, the relationship isn't going like it should be on their side of things. This can come as a blow when everything seems great on the other side of things.
Especially if the relationship progressed to a physical level. Its very difficult for some women if a guy changes his mind after sex has taken place. Many women won't start an intimate relationship unless they think there is a real future there.
Another way some guys screw up is in the break-up stage.
I had a conversation with a male in regards to the way he turned down his female persuers, he was infact encouraging hope so you might want to make sure you aren't falling into that trap.
Instead of just saying, "I'm not interested in you that way". He'd try to soften the blow by saying, "I'm not interested in you that way right now". To a woman who is hoping beyond hope you are going to fall in love with her, that is like saying, "I'm not interested in you right now but if you wait around and are there when I'm ready, you could very well be the one I want to be with". | |
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| Female psychos and stalkers. What to do?
Posted: 8/18/2006 9:16:28 PM | | It's called; Don't let it get to that point. You have to develop an extra sensory ability to snuff out the psychos before they can get attached. ie. before you meet them in person..don't continue to talk with them and stop answering there calls. They will fade out after several un-received calls on the phone | |
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| Female psychos and stalkers. What to do?
Posted: 8/18/2006 10:41:52 PM | I would listen to softEDGE...very important.
Develop a trail of evidence to be used at a later date if needed.......
When you send an email.......stating you do not want to have a relationship with this lady.......you send a CC to the local police department.....you know what I mean......or someone of reference.....
Telephone messages.....tape......phone conversations tape......might be best to set up surveilance too......B&E......of course t his is if it starts getting very spooooky......
Be careful and be respectful....no name calling etc........ if this does not work.....get something filed with the local police.....get the file number too....and don't leave unless it is filed...
Call your phone company and tell them what you can do about harassing phone calls....this is key for your trail of evidence......tell you friends....tell your neighbours......they will all look out for you.......unless she is the neighbour....then look out...lol...
Please understand a person can put forward evidence against you -and the worst type...please do not stir the honey bucket on this one.....get legal...
Wishing you the best.....
0:)
PS... treat as worst case senario...
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| Female psychos and stalkers. What to do?
Posted: 8/18/2006 11:25:08 PM | ok...supernatural...you can try one of these two approaches...
APPROACH NUMBER 1
Call her. Tell her you think about her 24/7, and you are sooooooo, sooooooo, sorry for spurning her love. You had just "got out" of a relationship that was going all so well but like a light switch went horribly horribly wrong and you didn't want another loved one to have to suffer like that again. Let her know its ok though because other than your criminal record, no real harm done now that you know that b#tch won't ever be bothering you anymore...though it is annoying that the cops are STILL looking for you.
OK...now the foundation is set. Tell her that you MUST see her tonight...at exactly 7:00 at your house (you implied earlier she already knows where you live). Tell her no excuses or you don't know what you will do to yourself. Ask her to bring her dog (if she doesn't own a dog, tell her to steal the neighbors). Ask her to stop by the pet store and buy a dog collar and three white mice (they have to be white!!!). Tell her to stop by the grocery store on the way as well and pick-up some peanut butter, brillo pads, a can of Raid, large "leaf" trash bags (not that cheap store brand thin stuff either), duct tape, and a pack of smokes. Reference a local grocery by name and tell her exactly what aisle each of these items can be found. Let her know you have a few wire coat hangers left in your "closet" but if she has any to spare to bring them so the two of you don't run out. Let her know you have a car battery in the garage so you should be ok there but if it doesn't take a charge you'll call her back. Oh...and tell her it would be a good idea to go ahead and call off work for the next day...or two.
ok...now the plan is in motion. Go across the street and hide in the bushes. You should have a rather lonely evening, but if at 6:59 she shows up at your door with a shopping bag and Fido in tow, you're screwed (but realize...you were screwed anyway). Call the cops.
Football "i put way too much thought into this" Penguin
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| Female psychos and stalkers. What to do?
Posted: 8/18/2006 11:28:27 PM | ok...now i will state the obvious...
APPROACH NUMBER 2
assuming you met here on POF, tell her to read this thread. Some of the posts (like the freak that wrote the one above this one) ought to give her the point and scare the jumping Jesus out of her. Again if that doesn't work, call the cops.
Football "sometimes we seek and the answer is right in front of us" Penguin | |
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| Female psychos and stalkers. What to do?
Posted: 8/19/2006 12:27:15 AM | Ignoring her is the best way...saying or doing anything just gets her blood up...
Hopefully she'll just give up, and move on to someone else.....
Hopefully....... | |
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| Female psychos and stalkers. What to do?
Posted: 8/19/2006 1:06:46 AM | | This is first hand experience for me. It got real bad to a point that she did time in jail. Document everything believe me when I say that. Thats exactly what saved my ass. Ignoring her is the way to go and do not confront her. Get in touch with the police to let them no whats going on so they have a record of your complaint to start building a case. Be strong you are not alone! | |
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| Female psychos and stalkers. What to do?
Posted: 8/19/2006 2:10:53 AM | Well, I read your post closely, as did several people here...
It seems that you went out with someone a few times, "handful", and then didn't want to have a relationship. I notice that there is some exagerration here.
For one thing, your profile says that you are "95" years old and that is only the beginning.
The other thing is that you have NO PHOTO up. You say that you need to keep a low profile in the town you live in ??
Did you people miss the psychology of this guy's profile ?
Furthermore, I used to live in that town - Santa Cruz, where my son was also born. Santa Cruz has got to be the world's capital for dead heads and weirdos who wander around and like to keep a low profile, it's hippie town USA.
So, you went out with this little gal a "handful" of times...and you are "95" years old and from good old Santa Cruz ? And you have no photo? Now, we don't know if you slept with her and maybe she's having a hard time after the cathexis, but you seem to be a guy that likes to hide from the world - period. If I need a 95 year old dude who has no picture and is fdrom Santa Cruz...I'll mail you...but you might just be hiding for some other reason " The Santa Cruz PD, the cops, God knows...
Has she parked outside your hovel yet ? Do you live in a Santa Cruz commune ? You know these are Santa Cruz jokes buddy...been there...Only if she starts actually showing up and loitering outside your house is that the beginning of possible psycho. When she does that then you might have a problem, but it looks like she is just emailing you...and you are exagerrating to the hilt. Does it feel good to be "stalked"...
On the Simpson's there was a joke about people writing their name on your lawn in gasoline !
Now, that's stalking baby. This looks silly. Why are you so paranoid you list yourself as 95 years old and have no photo ? The previous posters might have a point about the "hiding out" and avoidance issue on some level. No one cares who you are, come on really. I got mail from a guy doing the same...and claiming someone might recognize him. Like he's -- important. Well, I called him...and he is totally unknown. But it worked. Scam ? Who knows ! 
FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE NEVER HEARD OF SANTA CRUZ ? Let me give it to ya in a song....
Intro....Hare Krisna shake tambourines....
One pill makes you larger...
And one pill makes you small...
And the ones that mother gives you....
Make you write you're..... 95 years old in your profile and post no photo...
Go ask the Sata Cruz PD...when you are tell feet tall...
And if you go down highway 17...
And get off near Ben Lomond...
You will step back in time
To the land of hippie communes...The VW bus capital of the US
Where hiding homeless people are everywhere...
Groovy psychedelic guitar solo to Coda | |
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| Female psychos and stalkers. What to do?
Posted: 8/19/2006 9:13:24 AM |
One pill makes you larger...
And one pill makes you small...
And the ones that mother gives you....
Make you write you're..... 95 years old in your profile and post no photo...
I've been on here for quite awhile and I had my photo up almost the entire time. My age is fairly obvious from the photo, but with a photo and exact age posted, I can easily be identified (particularly if I state my profession). I don't want that. No issues with SCPD and I'm not married/seeing anyone. Just my preference. Also, I've been to Glendale. SC is much more beautiful and fun. Anyway, brilliant lyrics. | |
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| Female psychos and stalkers. What to do?
Posted: 8/19/2006 1:26:06 PM | Holy reading into things, batman! Sounds like you've been sucking the crack pipe, khrockproducer.
By the way, this is known as an ad hominem argument - an idiotic fallacy which discredits someones statements or argument by attacking the person or some aspect of the poster himself. | |
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| Female psychos and stalkers. What to do?
Posted: 8/19/2006 1:54:58 PM | tick tock....in reference to your above msg #49 -personally, I don't think that definition of yours is accurate....but must say great word though...:)
ad hominem -definition: Appealing to personal considerations rather than to logic or reason: Debaters should avoid ad hominem arguments that question their opponents' motives. [dictionary.com]
the supernatural -this person took the high road and his response was appropriate....this says a great deal about your character supernatural.....
tick tock -you best go and talk to Batman again...:)......he will likely tell you -"you two penguins be nice"...:) ...of course opinions vary ....:)
anyway tick tock, interesting post.....wishing you the very best and that things work out for you......have fun fishing....:)
0:)
PS again I agree with my msg #42 and many other positive comments
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| Female psychos and stalkers. What to do?
Posted: 8/19/2006 2:06:41 PM | On the Ad hominem,...far from it.
When a person goes so far as to characterize another person publically, as a "female psycho" and "stalker"....this kind of wording can be viewed as inflammatory against the entire sex.
But more specifically, my post actually shows that before jumping to the gun and answering a question that is seemingly rhetorical on the part of the poster...I actually went and read this man's profile...
So,
a) I inquired into the psychology of the person making such a serious statement in public. Who knows, this woman may actually be in POF, and she may have to see that he made this outrageous accusation. In any case, all such situations demand some thought since it is so easy to answer the question without really thinking about what this person is saying and what available information is there to examine this scenario.
b) I don't actually see any evidence of a "psycho" or a "stalker"...these are legal and slang terms for something far more serious than the poster seems to present so lightly. It seems that merely her emails have "escalated".
Run for your life....
We don't have much info to go on, just that. Apparently, she hasn't made any threats in these and seems possibly just lovelorn. Is that psycho ? No, actually, its pretty human. Is it stalking...no, by the legal definition it isn't stalking either.
c) The profile of the person in question IS HIGHLY unusual for his failure to even put a correct age. He lists his age as "95",,,,almost no one here does THIS !> and this tells you whether he is very serious about being on POF. I see people who have very scant profiles and invest little in them...but this one takes the cake...not even his real age.
So, he characterizes this person in such exagerrated terms, and apparently this lady is actually suffering from the idea of being lovelorn while a guy who is so UNSERIOUS about this process....who makes this accusation....lists he is 95 in his profile. Talk about a person who does not take dating seriously. And no photo.
I'm sorry, the AVAILABLE information makes his question merely a rhetorical ranting and I smell a rat in Denmark. Many people come here and ask rehetorical questions in POF just to be inflammatory. To a joke, I granted a joking response. Otherwise, I would be an idiot for lending fuel to a fire that doesn't even appear to be burning.
This thread should be deleted. The lady is probably in POF in Santa Cruz and may be feeling terrorized by the unserious poster about now. You can at least state your age in a profile with no photo unless relationships are a joke to you. If that is the case, I feel sorry for the lady who answered that ad and is now treated this way. I don't buy this thread and it should be deleted as rhtorical and infalmmatory, Webmaster. We need a vote.  | |
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| Female psychos and stalkers. What to do?
Posted: 8/19/2006 2:10:15 PM | @ BK2: My friend, if you look at your definition closesly, it is saying the same thing that I said! It is the act of using "personal considerations" (ex. "of course you'd say that, you're a man") rather than "to logic or reason" (ie. addressing the validity of one's argument)
Here is a more extensive definition:
"An ad hominem argument, also known as argumentum ad hominem (Latin, literally "argument against the person") involves replying to an argument or assertion by attacking the person presenting the argument or assertion rather than the argument itself. It is a logical fallacy.
An ad hominem fallacy consists of asserting that someone's argument is wrong and/or he is wrong to argue at all purely because of something discreditable/not-authoritative about the person or those persons cited by him rather than addressing the soundness of the argument itself. The implication is that the person's argument and/or ability to argue correctly lacks authority. Merely insulting another person in the middle of otherwise rational discourse does not necessarily constitute an ad hominem fallacy. It must be clear that the purpose of the characterization is to discredit the person offering the argument, and, specifically, to invite others to discount his arguments. In the past, the term ad hominem was sometimes used more literally, to describe an argument that was based on an individual, or to describe any personal attack. However, this is not how the meaning of the term is typically introduced in modern logic and rhetoric textbooks, and logicians and rhetoricians are in agreement that this use is incorrect."
In a nutshell, it the act of shooting the messenger.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
@khrock
When a person goes so far as to characterize another person publically, as a "female psycho" and "stalker"....this kind of wording can be viewed as inflammatory against the entire sex.
Yet you see countless threads started by women like this accusing men of being stalkers. Should they all be discredited and have their threads deleted? Does the fact they state they are being stalked by a man discredit an entire gender? Of course not!
On the Ad hominem,...far from it.
Wrong, again! You wrote a long winded post about the city where he's from as if that somehow impacted his credibility. This, my friend, constitutes the very definition of an ad hominem argument.
This is for your post below since I've reached my 2 post limit:
May I remind you that we're not in a court of law right now. If that were truly the case, 98% of the threads would be deleted by now.
THAT IS NOT ARGUMENTUM AD HOMINEM, friend. THIS IS standard criminal and civil proceedure. Try pseudo-intellectual presentation of Argumentum Ad Hominem in someone who doesn't understand legal issues.
And you do? A musician! LOL!! As far as the definition is concerned, you are guilty of it, but not bright enough to fully understand that you are. Furthermore, you actually think that where a person resides would actually be considered in a court of law. I have the feeling you would be laughed out of any argument of courtroom. Please try to seperate your own feelings and personal issues from the argument at hand. Too funny!
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| Female psychos and stalkers. What to do?
Posted: 8/19/2006 2:18:15 PM | I know what an Ad hominem arguement is.
This does not address that THERE IS NO EVIDENCE presented of "psycho" or "stalker" in the intial POST. Do you see that ??? A judge would be very quick to assert this.
Also, ANY GOOD JUDGE...will look at the REPUTATION of a person using a public website to make such statements because the BURDEN OF PROOF is on the accuser in every court of law, including where District Attorneys and civil authorities must prove that a person has commited a crime. STALKING IS A CRIME with specific aspects in violation of the Constitution.
This person who opened this thread is not describing STALKING and I see no evidence of mental illness in the accused. She is likely on POF.
IN CROSS EXAMINATION, ......the PARTY MAKING THE ACCUSATION............ is under examination for character and the presentation of details in thier report as well as the burden of proof. THAT IS NOT ARGUMENTUM AD HOMINEM, friend. THIS IS standard criminal and civil proceedure. Try pseudo-intellectual presentation of Argumentum Ad Hominem in someone who doesn't understand legal issues.
The ACCUSER has to be cross examined and the report studied for what it likely is, as well as his profile. This guy really stands out as unserious in his profile about the use of POF to meet women. He is not 95 years old !...You almost never see people with profiles as open ended as his. What is he using this site for ? I worry about men using this site for unsavory purposes or hiding who they are too much...for the safety of women.
Other than that...I have a hell of a sense of humour. This one was so worthless it deserves humour. I won't waste anymore time on it. A lot of POF threads are rhetorical and so get deleted for that reason to make room for worthier threads in server memory. | |
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| Female psychos and stalkers. What to do?
Posted: 8/19/2006 4:47:32 PM | Ah yes, the Fatal Attraction scenario. Has she begun emailing you using fake names and addresses yet? Has she threatened to kill herself (and her kids, if she has any) if you don't go back to her? Is she bugging your friends and family to change your mind about her yet? Does she have her friends keeping tabs on you for her? Has she (and her friends) begun spreading erroneous rumours about you yet, so that no other woman but her will want to have anything to do with you? If not, either consider yourself lucky or prepare yourself for the other stiletto to drop. Depending on her instability level, this could last for years, and it might not matter if she falls in love with someone else. You were right to dump her, but you bruised her ego. As much as it makes absolutely no sense to any sane person, this behaviour from her now is your punishment for that. It's not about love, it's about disempowerment. Bullying.
I speak from experience. It's not pretty. Just keep in mind that not all women are completely incapable of living in the real world, and your ability to trust them again should survive.
Sadly, if you were a woman, and a guy was doing this to you, it would generally be understandable if you got a couple of your male friends to put this person in the hospital. In your case, because you're a guy, avoiding paranoia and riding it out by not responding are pretty well your only options. If she's phoning, either remove your voice from your answering machine message or change your number. If she's emailing, delete and block. If she shows up while you're socializing with others, put as much distance between you and her as possible. Warn your friends and family. Consider legal action against her, if need be. However, any attention from you - including a court order or posting this thread - will likely feed her ego, because it's a connection between you. Nutcases think that way. Without that happening, she'll eventually get bored and hopefully fall off the planet in a fiery ball of pain...
Anyone who questions how severe this experience is for men is a hypocrite. | |
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| Female psychos and stalkers. What to do?
Posted: 8/19/2006 5:35:13 PM | oh the key word is u went out with her a hand full of times was that before r after u found some one new. u think maybe a hand full of no's ment a hand full of yes i see why she wont take a no for an answer she dont know if no mean yes. u need to be consistent n your relationship and not let up if u mean no dont change yo mind a minute later with a yes. u have a lot of nerves trying to convince others that that gitl is a stalker quit playing with her and just let her know that your word is yo word. If u didnt want to be with her then u should of let her go the first time u knew wat u was doing. now shes a stalker huh yeah right and wat r u. think about it. Im not blamin u she should get a clue but hey maybe she think u r jus being u dishonest. thats how she sees u as a bull shitter. | |
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| Female psychos and stalkers. What to do?
Posted: 8/19/2006 5:45:49 PM | | Piss on her clothes.........ok so anyway, ignoring doesn't help whatsoever. If shes that hardcore then all that does is feed her mind with alternatives. Just tell her "your f*ckin nutty & you need help. Leave me alone or I'm callin the cops".....done deal | |
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| Female psychos and stalkers. What to do?
Posted: 8/19/2006 6:27:33 PM | You are doing the right thing by ignoring her. In the book "The Gift of Fear" by Gavin deBecker (who runs the biggest security company in America), it says that once you have told her you don't want to see her any more, you should say nothing else, for 3 reasons. 1) Every time you talk to her, she thinks you are still open to negotiation. 2) If you tell her 10 times you don't want to talk to her any more, you've already talked to her 9 times more than you wanted to, and 3) I'm going to shout this one because it's statistically the truth......EVERY TIME YOU TALK TO HER YOU BUY YOURSELF SIX MORE WEEKS OF UNWANTED CONTACT.
Ignore it and it will go away. Eventually. | |
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