| Female psychos and stalkers. What to do?
Posted: 8/19/2006 6:52:06 PM | @tick talk
actually the definition of ad hominem which I was interested in was simply sited -from dictionary.com -this site is on the internet for everyone to see. [dictionary.com] I believe it was overseen by a wonderful woman.....so it is she you should be directing your response to...:) To refresh your memory it is below.
tick talk: you state, "(of course you'd say that your a man)" From this I understand what I stated might of been frustrating to you but it was merely sited -I hope we can still friends? :)
Getting back on topic - there are male psychos and stalkers and there are female psychos and stalkers -but in this forum the OP is talking about Female psychos and stalkers and what to do. Personally, I would not know if there is a difference...might be an important one to know....
Again, I state it is important to develop a trail of evidence and make everyone in your surrounding environment aware that there could be trouble in your home, in your life and to keep a heads-up......if you are worried...contact the police......:)
Wishing you the very best.
0:)
PS interesting Guilt by Association
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| Female psychos and stalkers. What to do?
Posted: 8/19/2006 7:12:53 PM | | OP: I wonder if some people think it's all part of the "game." I don't get it personally ~ Seems that some people honestly think it's appropriate to be overly persistent. I think ignoring here is the best idea for the moment, and ff that doesn't work, I'd simply have to contact the police and let them deal with her. It's not only creepy, but it can cause grief for future dates/relationships. Good luck to you! | |
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| Female psychos and stalkers. What to do?
Posted: 8/19/2006 7:57:11 PM | lol......I believe you posted on the wrong topic....
.....I think you were looking for thong lines? .....
.....and if I am wrong -I beg to differ with you.... of course opinions vary... :)
0:)
PS.... you might want to start a new thread...:) | |
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| Female psychos and stalkers. What to do?
Posted: 8/19/2006 8:09:04 PM | hmm..yes.. opinions..theyre like buttholes..everyone has one...mmm..sometimes they fart too often and consequently, in the wrong places | |
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| Female psychos and stalkers. What to do?
Posted: 8/19/2006 11:37:07 PM | He lists his age as "95",,,,almost no one here does THIS !> and this tells you whether he is very serious about being on POF.
Maybe he actually is 95???????????? It happpens......
Ad hominims???????? | |
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| Female psychos and stalkers. What to do?
Posted: 8/20/2006 12:36:41 AM | Question...Do you think it is possible that he lists his age as 95 in an effort to not bring attention to himself or the woman he is speaking of? He has stated that she isn't on POF, but you never know for sure so why not create a profile that would never bring attention to the real you so that you might subjectively pose a question to the public?
We are not in a court of law. We are not jurors or lawyers or judges. We are everyday people with an opinion we feel is worthy of expressing. When I read the original post I try to answer THE QUESTION THEY ARE ASKING. Call me crazy but he didn't ask us to evaluate him or his circumstances, his age or his location. What to do about a psycho stalker, ignore or tell her to go away? This was the question. It is not our job to convict or acquit the stalker, but rather to lend advice to someone who is at a loss on what to do next. Let's try to keep it at that and leave the forum policing to the forum police. | |
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| Female psychos and stalkers. What to do?
Posted: 8/20/2006 7:15:17 PM | Ms deal. I think I understand where you might have been going with your initial question. I don't see that you were trying to take any validity away from this young woman possibly being a true stalker, but wanted more information. We see it all of the time. A man, or woman for that matter too, having several dates with someone (perhaps even attaining some level of intimacy), then abruptly backing off. Sometimes people use avoidance tactics and then when the person left in the dust persists in holding the dumper accountable and asking for an explanation... they are deemed as "Psycho ".
It sounds from the OP's posts that this girl perhaps does have some issues and if she did Threaten to come over to his house, as he said, She could truly be a little unhinged so to speak, warranting legal assistance if need be.
But I see no problem with simply clarifying the situation and asking for more info.
Goodness how people love to jump all over each other on these forums!
I'm curious to know If teh young lady actually showed up at the OP's house. I hope all is well and Op is safe  | |
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| Female psychos and stalkers. What to do?
Posted: 8/20/2006 7:37:01 PM | | get one of you female friends to answer the phone my ex showed up at my dorr the other night just for that this chick kept calling him then she played the im preg card and finally he came here for me to deal with her.. we are still good friends so i didnt mind i just told her i was with him that was that she hasnt called since | |
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| Female psychos and stalkers. What to do?
Posted: 1/17/2007 3:46:43 PM | sorry got it in the wrong order
obviously you should keep a copy of everything
you can put in in a safe place or the police will accept it
delete them from your contacts
msn etc.
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| Female psychos and stalkers. What to do?
Posted: 1/17/2007 4:21:18 PM | Iggie her. My theory is man/woman, if they can't stay outta your hair even after you tell them to get lost, they are way to desparate, emotionally attached, bored, and don't know how to accept it and move on. I call it the "psycho oh i can't live with a man syndrome". Some men/women just don't know how to pick it up, grow up, realize it's over and put on the kickers to move on. Desparation in many ways and in my head - I wouldn't waste my time on such a person who is needy. But hey! That's just my two cents... | |
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| Female psychos and stalkers. What to do?
Posted: 1/17/2007 4:30:13 PM | I have to ask how you said no.
Maybe you were trying to be nice and said it in a very subtle way that has left room for interpretation... did you say "I don't want to see you again" OR something like "I don't think that I am ready for a relationship". You may assume that both say the same thing but if a woman is really interested in you than she may choose to interpret what you say in her own way. Also, I would rather have answers to my questions and finalize things than just have you disappear.
You may find it beneficial to give her closure. Call her or send her an email and let her know that you are not interested in persuing ANYTHING with her and tell her why. Most people think that it hurts to know the truth but I think it's alot worse when you are left to form your own truth. | |
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| Female psychos and stalkers. What to do?
Posted: 1/17/2007 4:30:33 PM | get a girl..... friend ( not one u are dating ) of yours to answer the phone and just say ' please stop calling "
change your cell phone number | |
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| Female psychos and stalkers. What to do?
Posted: 1/17/2007 4:32:08 PM | I agree with this post. Once you have said that's it, that's it. Wouldn't hurt if you had to tell her you met someone "sexually" compatible when you say you can't see her anymore.
Might make her move on and want to go get some guy, to get back at you. Now she will be his problem. | |
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| Female psychos and stalkers. What to do?
Posted: 1/17/2007 4:40:17 PM | I think people overuse the stalker word and carry on a bit much. Really emails and ph calls arnt anything more then either sex has been putting up with since dating began. Block the email so It goes straight Into your trash, or press delete If you dont wish to read It at your convenience. Ask her to never ring your number again then block her number or change yours. Personally I find emails the least obtrusive thing anyone can do - you have the choice wether to read It and when you choose to do so. Take 5 minutes out of your life to send a brief email stating you are sorry and didnt mean for her ( him ) to be hurt but you do not feel ' It ' and dont wish any further contact but wish them well. This seems to be the thing most people dont do then scream stalker.
A stalker Is someone who shows up at your house refusing to leave after being asked not to come. A stalker Is a person who rings constantly.. even friends or family In the phone books. A stalker Is someone who shows up at your regular haunts causing trouble unprovoked. A stalker is someone who shows up at all hours creating hassles after they have had It explained that you simply cannot nor ever will have feelings or Interest for them. A stalker Is someone dangerous to your emotional, physical or mental health. IF you feel your mental health Is damaged by a email that you have the control over reading or not. .. seek help yourself.
If you are In fear of your life by these emails and calls .. you wouldnt have offered her friendship now would of you. Datings not a re run of dallas or some soap opera. And people using this term stalker lightly Is actually endangering the real stalking victims as police take them all with a grain of salt now as everyone whos ever had a suitor they dont find appealings jumping on the bandwagon with It. Explain your position to her - request NO further contact and get over It. | |
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| Female psychos and stalkers. What to do?
Posted: 1/17/2007 5:21:50 PM | | Luckily I haven't had a 'stalker' by the above definition, but a determined person looking for relationship after frequently telling her about wanting to just be friends. A agree with targus in the handling of the situation, and second her approach at the overuse of the word. If things get worse, there's safety in numbers and the proper authorities are but a phone call away. | |
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| Female psychos and stalkers. What to do?
Posted: 1/17/2007 7:36:44 PM | Log all correspondance starting with emails., text messages., cell phone calls etc.
Most phone companies, once a complaint is lodged especially about *67 numbers(blocking their number) will and can be accessed by police for retreiving phone records which do not HIDE this even if you block. i know, I have been through this, coupled with the fact I was married to a law enforcement officer for 10 years.
also, on that note, through the same experience, stalkers do not often just suddenly halt their activity.
90 percent or more escalate if it is not dealt with properly (authorities)
Do not handle it yourself. Call the police right away and keep a detailed journal doccumenting everything. This you will need for court once charges are laid. First is an official warning given to them then theya re automatically charged through the police if they receive ONE bit of correspondence even through a second or third party.
A restraint order is necessary if all other options have been exhausted. Do it. don't second guess, dont hesitate. Dont try and be the nice guy and talk them into thinking you are be-friending them in order to get them to leave you alone and walk away nicely. They only see it as an opportunity to keep their foot in the door and misinterpret your actions as you wanting them back etc. They get mixed messages that way and thrive on your reactions. They are sick, so be careful.
I went through this recently and it was dealt with accordingly.
Thank-god it's over...so from someone with experience on this be very careful. You're not dealing with a person playing with a full deck, trust me.
Good luck. | |
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| Female psychos and stalkers. What to do?
Posted: 1/17/2007 7:45:54 PM | ...and i agree with limitedgold....on a side note, my take on these psycho chicks is they are not emotionally stable and are very very very insecure unable to move on becuase of self esteem issues., boredom., desperation and very needy which we all know drives men AWAY as well as nuts!! They can only take so much.
I find a lot of men like women who can take charge, emotionally strong and supportive and very socially independant. That seems to be the main attraction.
Desperate groping pathetic ones will set them on their heels running. | |
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| Female psychos and stalkers. What to do?
Posted: 2/19/2007 12:44:38 AM | supernatural,
it's the BEST thing: absolutely NO contact. if you break down for ANY reason even BRIEFLY, she'll take it as a sign you might be interested. you've told her, "No." Now she needs time to accept it...and she WILL (unless she's truly a mental case). Do NOT react to anything even if she makes you SO angry you find yourself wanting to lash out at her. She'll take even "lashing out" as an encouraging sign. NO contact, NO reaction, and take her off all of your E-mail, Buddy, etc. lists so you won't be tempted to lash out. She'll forget about you in a couple of months if it was a short relationship. (I would normally say a couple of weeks to a month, but it'll probably take HER about about 2-2.5 months...based on what you've said about her level of intensity.) If it was a long, serious relationship, it'll take her 4-6 months. ...it'll take a HELL of a lot longer if you break down and contact her or lash out in any way, shape, or form (other than possibly **immediately** blocking her e-mails...if you wait a few weeks, she might take it as encouragement with her thinking you were thinking about her weeks later to block her). | |
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| Female psychos and stalkers. What to do?
Posted: 2/19/2007 12:47:19 AM | whoops...subsitute she for he! same in either case. (except, men can sometimes be more dangerous. all that testosterone - and i'm not joking from a scientific viewpoint.)
as an addendum, if you sense this person is dangerous, don't hesitate to call the police. | |
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| Female psychos and stalkers. What to do?
Posted: 2/19/2007 10:05:00 AM | | ^ Very simplistic thinking. Women can be as dangerous, if not more dangerous than male stalkers. While their male counterparts may be physically stronger, psychotic women will compensate with cunning and manipulative strategies, including the solicitation of murder. There are women who will sleep with dangerous ex-cons to seduce them into doing their bidding or fake victimization to abuse the system in their favour. As for testosterone, it more often than not produces instantaneous reactions rather than well thought out strategies. | |
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| Female psychos and stalkers. What to do?
Posted: 2/21/2007 9:28:48 AM | | My advice to you is to find out what she dislikes in a guy and become that person. Some stalker women like that hard-to-get type of game and even though that's not what you're doing, she may view it that way. People want what they can't have so when you ignore or show disinterest in some women, they're going to try harder. Only your actions can drive her away. So again, find out what she is attracted to in you and display the opposite characteristics. Her attraction towards you will eventually fade away. Note: if she has a serious mental issue (like she's been offically diagnosis with a disorder, this may not work and you will need to seek professional assistance if that's the case). | |
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| Female psychos and stalkers. What to do?
Posted: 2/21/2007 9:56:02 AM | | The question is ..What is the other side to this ..You said that you went out with her a handful of times..Then you realized you don't want a relationship with her.. I think that people have to be very clear with one another from the beginning about what theie expectations are ... If you send signals & never say anything as to what you want/don't want , then you never set up your boundaries..This is one of the biggest mistakes men & women make when they first start dating ..You must be honest..I have been stalked , in a very serious way, many years ago... I think you need to have one last , very clear conversation with her & be sensitive ..No one likes to feel rejected ... Then , if it gets to the point where you feel that your day to day well being is being threatened, then you contact the authorities... At this point , it appears that she is being only annoyed because she is annoyed with you... Good luck... | |
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| Female psychos and stalkers. What to do?
Posted: 2/21/2007 10:31:19 AM | | If you have already told her its over...there is NO reason to contact her in anyway...that will just make her behavior even worse. Call the police....Hopefully you have caller ID and an answering machine...show them that and let them listen ...also print up all the emails she has sent you. Call the phone company and they will be able to lock down her phone , if she continues to keep calling...It costs a bit , but is well worth it. It doesn't matter if you dated her one time....or a dozen or so....she is the one unbalanced....watch your back...never know when them psyhco's will be waiting outside in the dark with a knife. A restraining order is a good thing to get also...but remember its only a piece of paper and... well that little piece of paper wont stop a bullet. Good luck on this. Stay safe. | |
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