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| Regarding dutch dinner dates...
Posted: 3/31/2008 11:24:17 PM | I really kind of don`t get this. First thing a guy does (sorry) is complain that women won`t respond to his approaches either online or in real life. Well, he finally will get a woman to show some interest. So then he asks her to dinner. She accepts. He should be happy right?Maybe the start of a really good thing. So they go out, have a nice time, and when the bill comes he says "wanna go dutch?" after he was the predator and went after her. So after all of that effort, finally getting a first date, having it go well, all that preparation, mind ,body ,soul, to get her to spend some time with him, he is going to jeopardize this over what 20 to 30 dollars? There`s a very good chance that if you just paid the bill and didn`t say anything, she would probably invite you for a home cooked meal or treat next time. That is how "ladies" were taught to do it. But no. You can`t take that chance of losing that 20.00. Gee I wonder why she doesn't want to go on a second date.
Yeah I know it would be a great world if all women paid their own way without question, every time, had a perfect body, wanted amorous love making with you immediatly, being totally mesmerized by your charms. She would be always in a great mood, totally agreeable and supportive, was so honored to be in your presence that she wanted to pay to be with you. Sometimes that happens, but not that often. For most boy fishies that is just a pipe dream. Do the best with reality what it is. Women have to do it all of the time. | |
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| Regarding dutch dinner dates...
Posted: 4/1/2008 1:09:52 AM |
There`s a very good chance that if you just paid the bill and didn`t say anything, she would probably invite you for a home cooked meal or treat next time.
You get treats on second dates ? This is something new to me and I'll have to direct women to this thread ........ women take note, that second date you may have to provide treats 
If I was to ask a man out I would pick up the tab but hopefully he would be a gentleman and offer to at least pay his share msg#241
On a serious note ( which I can do sometimes ) I believe that if you ask someone out you should be prepared to pick up the whole tab. That said however, if for instance you asked me out I would still offer to cover the full tab, if you then counter offered and insisted, I would let you pay - the reason for this is that some women may not wish to be perceived as having a free ride or feel beholden/in debt for the night. I believe that one should take this in to account and if it is so important to the woman, then a man should allow her to pay, however disagreeable this may be.
I don't like going dutch as I'd find it a total pain, awkward, distracting and rather tasteless when people are splitting money for a night out and I'd much rather reciprocate by the other party covering the cost of another night ( plus you get treats on your second date evidently ) | |
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| Regarding dutch dinner dates...
Posted: 4/1/2008 5:25:18 PM | I think this would be less of an issue if women actually asked guys out and paid for the date. (I believe the person who asks pays). How often does a woman ask out a man on the first, second, or even third date? And 20 dollars for dinner? My you women are cheap dates. I would think you would want a bit more than a burger and fries, but maybe things are different in other places.
I would think a woman that asks a man over to her house after one date is a fool. You do not know this guy and you are going to play with your personal safety?
Maybe we can hear from the women. How often is it that it is you are the one to ask the guy out? How often do you get the second date going? Why is it we men have to ‘win you’. I think this is what gets to us men. The whole idea that we are the ‘predator’ is a load of bs. Unless you like predator type of males, in that case invite them home for the second date. | |
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| Regarding dutch dinner dates...
Posted: 4/1/2008 5:45:46 PM | I have asked men out for coffee, just as I have been asked out and I have been shot down just as the men have. A couple of my guy friends have told me that if woman asked them out for dinner for the first date, it would smell of desperation. It is hard for men or women to win.
I would not invite a man to my house until after several dates...until my radar felt a bit more comfortable. Same reason I give out my cell rather than home phone. | |
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| Regarding dutch dinner dates...
Posted: 4/3/2008 6:03:38 PM | | Oh yeah, I would never accept a dinner invitation as a first date. I just don't want to be obligated to someone I'm not sure I like enough for a second date, and some men will insist on picking up the whole tab because they think that obliges you to a second date. I'd much rather meet for coffee or something inexpensive, ice cream cones? and pay for my own, and then I'm not obliged or out a bunch of money, or taking some guys money for dinner when I'm not that into him. | |
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| Regarding dutch dinner dates...
Posted: 5/20/2008 5:05:11 AM | | I am not a gold digger but I think that if a guy asks to take you out he should pick up the tab---that simple. If I'm on a date with a guy and he is buying me drinks, dinner I will go and pick up a drink for him to show him that I am not after his money! It's just a courting gesture when a man does it and increases attraction because it shows he can be a provider. However--I don't advocate woman just going out with a guy for a free meal. I don't waste my time with people who aren't what I'm looking for out of respect of their time and money---and mine too. | |
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| Regarding dutch dinner dates...
Posted: 5/20/2008 12:55:29 PM | I think as far as the initial date goes, whomever asks, pays. So by my experience it seems that the man pays - I've never sent an email asking some stranger out to dinner. However, the recipent of this hotly contested meal should be offering to pay the tip when the bill arrives, and for coffee afterwards, should the date go well enough that you're not boh running for the exit to deal with a friend's 'car emergency'. And really, why shouldn't it? If you make it all the way to having dinner there must be something there.
...The idea that women are trolling for free dinners is lame like unflavored pudding is lame. I don't know anyone who has ever done that, but perhaps it's a regional thing? Maybe starving aspiring actresses in Hollwood would try to lure you into buying them dinner with no intention of ever seeing you again? But would they be on POF? Probably not... | |
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| Regarding dutch dinner dates...
Posted: 5/20/2008 1:15:06 PM | The problem with "whoever asks should pay" is 80%-90% of the time the man asks the woman out. Therefore that produces almost the same results as saying that the man should always pay. A lot of men don't mind paying the entire bill. However I don't think that a woman should have a sense of entitlement and expect a man to pay to the entire bill. A couple of times a woman has asked me out and I never expected her to pay the entire bill.
Different people have different viewpoints. Some women would get offended if the man tried to pay the entire bill. Other women would get offended if a man wanted to go Dutch. It's a catch 22. Besides first dates shouldn't be that expensive to begin with. The actual date should be more important than how the bill was paid. | |
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| Regarding dutch dinner dates...
Posted: 5/20/2008 9:49:32 PM |
Now, for men who advocate the idea of dutch dates: If a woman is 'worth' it, will you pick up the tab on the first couple of dinner dates, ie, the orientation dates? Do you insist on going dutch if you like her, but don't consider her worthy of future consideration? In other words, when--if ever-do you bend the 50-50 rule?
I will pick up the tab for any date I invite someone on unless I've expressed differently when I invited them along.
I find it interesting that you say you want to see if a man will "invest" in a long-term relationship. What are you investing? Your time or your presence don't really count, as the man is investing both to a similar extent. So, why worry about the money? | |
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