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| At what point in life did you get confidence about interracting with the opposite sex?
Posted: 8/22/2006 10:37:38 AM | 10:15 AM this morning. UPS finally delivered it, and I was pretty pleased.
Actually, I don't know how one defines "confidence interacting with the opposite sex". If I'm not a little bit nervous and feel like I really need to be sharp with a woman, I tend to think it's because I don't give a crap about how the interaction turns out, and why even bother with that sort of thing?
Of course, I'm not sure that butterflies in one's stomach indicates a lack of confidence... *shrug* | |
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syn_ap
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Joined: 6/22/2006
Msg: 33 | |
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| At what point in life did you get confidence about interracting with the opposite sex?
Posted: 8/22/2006 8:56:14 PM | I don't think I ever really did.
Dpending on what's meant by interacting. I have many female friends, many who I actually prefer socialising with, or conversing with, more than I do any male friends. I am easily confident interacting on this level.
But flirting with women, hitting on women in bars, etc, or just trying to let a woman know I like her, is just something I've never really felt comfortable doing.
If I do get the confidence to tell a woman how I'd feel, it would likely be a woman I'm already friends with, and I feel comfortable being around and communicating with. However, once a man has reached that point with a woman, the woman's probably, in her mind, already put him in that unescapable "just friends" catagory. | |
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jg65
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Joined: 8/10/2007
Msg: 37 | |
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| At what point in life did you get confidence about interracting with the opposite sex?
Posted: 11/2/2008 6:08:18 AM | I think that's a gradual thing. Success tends to bring success in the future.
I felt awkward around girls as I first became aware of them as "interesting" at age 11, and gradually came to understand, when they were responding, and when they felt "Ewwww.....go away".
I think the turning point was the relationship that started, just as I turned 16, and lasted nearly 2 years. Two virgins, slowly, but enthusiastically, breaking new ground sexually, that led to "going all the way" after about a year. After that, I put away childish notions about girls not liking sex, and had confidence that it was just a matter of a "numbers game" to find a girl, who would not only want sex, but want it with me.
The Summer I was 18, I walked around my new college campus, with the "line" from the DOORS song "Hello, I love you, won't you tell me your name?", and used it on every attractive woman I saw. Many days, it would be 15 women in one day. I got a lot of rejection, of course, but got laid a lot also.
From that point, while looking for a relationship, I came to understand that it was possible to have a sex life in the meantime, and came to "ignore" the "no"s, while getting to the "yes"es. | |
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| At what point in life did you get confidence about interracting with the opposite sex?
Posted: 11/2/2008 6:14:44 AM | | Well I can say that I still struggle with this and think I always will! I guess if I did not then most likely I would not be single now, if that makes sense. I can hold a good conversation with the opposite sex no problem but when it comes to the atrraction thing, man I get so flustered and tongue tied and find it hard just being myself and relaxed! I hate it but it is what it is! | |
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| At what point in life did you get confidence about interracting with the opposite sex?
Posted: 11/2/2008 6:32:05 AM | I've always liked and got along well with boys and men, even as a little girl, and I don't remember ever being intimidated by them....quite the opposite in fact.
Anyway...I started going out with boys at the age of 13 (to the great chagrin of my parents), met my future husband at 14, and ended up marrying him when I was just 16 (I never said I was smart)
I still like men (and women) and certainly don't lack the confidence to interact with anyone...my problem is that I'm a loner and unless I absolutely have to, I rarely go out and interact with anyone.
But when I am out, I love talking and exchanging pleasantries with everyone I meet...men and women, young and old...it's all good:)
JMO
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| At what point in life did you get confidence about interracting with the opposite sex?
Posted: 11/2/2008 7:07:26 AM | Why do people worry about it, when someone they don't know, and who they'll never meet again, isn't "into" them?
We're naturally hard wired and culturally conditioned to find different things attractive. That's why there are websites devoted to men who are attracted to BBWs, and other men who are driven into a frenzy of desire by super skinny women, and everwhere in between. There are women who think bald men are sexy, and others who like guys with really long hair, and everything in between.
In my experience, I only find 10% of women even marginally attractive, and when I take a really close look, it's half of that, or 5%. I know that "most" women aren't going to be attracted to me. So what? It's a numbers game. I live in an area, where within a 3 hour drive, there are 10 million people. Online, there are another 7 million, nearly half of them women. So with the countless millions of women in the "universe" that I inhabit, if there is a "2 way match" along all the compatibility and factors with just 1/10th of 1%, that would leave 80,000 "possibles", and the challenge is to find just one of them for now. So, why in the world, should it matter that there are 7,920,000 in my "universe" who wouldn't be "into" me, or me "into" them?
I think "confidence" comes from having had previous success, and keeping the focus on finding the "right" one, rather than worrying about what the "wrong" ones say or do. | |
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| At what point in life did you get confidence about interracting with the opposite sex?
Posted: 11/2/2008 10:11:51 AM |
I believe to some degree there will always be that nervousness when interacting with the opposite sex..We are both human yes, yet our Psychological make up is different, I think the nervousness is an attraction between two people, I have found the more nervous I am at first the more chemistry we have for each other.....
I agree .
When i first meet a man ( or even a woman) that i feel attracted to i get butterflys. I am usually shy at first , but i will not let it get in the way. I will most likely approach them and strike up a conversation , as we talk I become more confident. | |
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| At what point in life did you get confidence about interracting with the opposite sex?
Posted: 11/2/2008 11:39:02 AM | It depends on the context of "interacting with...". Are we talking about general interaction, or interaction regarding coupling/flirting/dating/relationships?
As a general interaction, this has been ever present. If you've ever been to school for even a day, you really have little choice but to interact with those also in attendance.
If this is related to coupling...then I'd say around 15 or so is the point in life I got the confidence I needed to interact with the opposite sex. How it came about was easy too...I just stopped caring at all what others thought of me. I stopped trying to be someone I wasn't ever supposed to be. I stopped trying to impress others, by acting the way they acted, liking what they liked, dressing how they dressed...just to "fit in". Soon as I came to realize that I was doing this all to impress a bunch of nobodys, it all came to a screeching halt, and wouldn't ya know it...confidence decides to come off the sidelines and get into the game.
And I never looked back.
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| At what point in life did you get confidence about interracting with the opposite sex?
Posted: 11/19/2008 9:02:20 AM | | When I was about 18, not long after graduating from high school. I was fat, ugly, and very shy around girls when I was a teenager. After graduating I lost some weight, gained some ballz, and started college. I am still slightly nervous around women I am attracted to when I want to approach them, but having now been married, divorced, dated, broken up, lived life, I know the worst thing that can happen is rejection. It's not the end of the world. | |
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