| Meeting with someone who looks nothing like picture
Posted: 3/19/2005 5:47:17 AM | I guess I am too nice Cinder...lol...I am actually gentleman enough to go through with the date...however, I wouldn't go out with them again that's for sure.....however I have had the fortune of actually meeting the person, and them usually looking like their photo, sometimes better looking...but that was one exception. :L)
I met this woman one time, she said in her profile that her body type was "Athletic"....when I met her in person...I swear she was the size of Jabba the Hutt. We were in one of those 2 person booths, (very narrow) and while she was eating, I was seeing crumbs fall on her self, because there was nothing falling her her lap...I got quite nauseous. lol
I just had dinner with her and that was it...nothing more. | |
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| Meeting with someone who looks nothing like picture
Posted: 3/19/2005 6:05:43 AM |
I am actually gentleman enough to go through with the date...
My point is you are rewarding this type of deception and while you would not go out twith this person again, they will find another man to Loop the same way knowing that the person will go through eith it | |
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| Meeting with someone who looks nothing like picture
Posted: 3/19/2005 6:18:20 AM | "My point is you are rewarding this type of deception and while you would not go out twith this person again, they will find another man to Loop the same way knowing that the person will go through eith it "
Yeah, I know...so what am I supposed to do, leave when I see her? lol | |
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| Meeting with someone who looks nothing like picture
Posted: 3/19/2005 6:23:54 AM | YES! Why is that soo wrong. I would confront her with "why" you no longer wish to pursue the date.
I could be more understanding is the differences were in hair color, "a FEW pounds", but not if they lied about their age and thing of that nature. | |
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Sliv
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Joined: 3/9/2005
Msg: 80 | |
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| Meeting with someone who looks nothing like picture
Posted: 3/19/2005 6:53:59 AM | Hm..so what do you do...walk in there (he or she already knows what you look like), walk past the hostess...look around, and try not to get spotted by the person who you DONT recognize? LOL
Heck, you don't know who yhour looking for, becuase they look nothing like their picture...but they sure will spot you and say, "HEY, CINDER over hear , hon!" LOL...then your stuck I guess.? | |
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| Meeting with someone who looks nothing like picture
Posted: 3/19/2005 11:20:03 PM | I suppose my problem is that I see agreeing to a date as making a contract. Even though they have broken their side of the contract, I still feel like I ought to honor my side of it.
Also, without the Evil dates, we wouldn't have any cool stories to tell. (grin) | |
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| Meeting with someone who looks nothing like picture
Posted: 3/20/2005 5:37:31 PM | I havent met anyone who totally misrepresented themselves, cause I screen them very good before meeting.
But I have noticed that some pics on here are outdated...ie they are 10, 20, 40 LBS heavier in person.
gotta see RECENT pics...
and the excuse about not wanting to be seen online,.,..BOGUS!!...exchange email addresses and exchange pics that way. | |
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| Meeting with someone who looks nothing like picture
Posted: 3/21/2005 7:12:46 AM | | thats one of the better things about this site. you don't have to have your pics up unless you want and then just attach them to mail. so simple, no lies, just waiting till the time is right, and then if your chatting with someone who doesn't care to share, well s'up to you to continue or not, seriously we are all adults here n'est ce pas? have to be responsible for our own actions. | |
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Sliv
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Joined: 3/9/2005
Msg: 89 | |
| Meeting with someone who looks nothing like picture
Posted: 3/21/2005 7:17:51 AM | | Manlooking, don't think you're quite getting what we're saying: The person lied about who they were, they don't have a right to anything other than to be rejected. Just turn around and walk out. What I'm surprised at is that someone would lie then actually show up. How's that supposed to work? "Hi, yes, I know I lied, but I figured that you would be attracted to a liar, and that it might make you want me. So, let's sit down and enjoy this meal together, where we can begin a relationship of complete mistrust and deception. Sound fun?" | |
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a_vamp
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Joined: 4/24/2004
Msg: 90 | |
| Meeting with someone who looks nothing like picture
Posted: 3/21/2005 8:24:15 AM | I'd never accepted a first date without first asking to see a RECENT pic... Don't wanna waste my time traveling all the way there to see what I wasn't expecting to see.
But yeah... I reckon some did use old photos. Well, if some guy decided to lie about his physical appearance and waste my time. I'll sit down if the person ain't too gross to look at - just trying to be nice. I'll make the date really short however, and he will never hear from me again. I won't even write to explain "why" - he jolly well know its cuz he lied. I don't tolerate time-wasters. | |
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| Meeting with someone who looks nothing like picture
Posted: 3/21/2005 8:42:41 AM | I have never met someone that completely deceived me about their looks but I have had the occasional meet where the pic was quite dated and didn't look like the them of "now".
I did have a friend that this happened too.....a female he talked to for 6 months (and hadn't met live because of distance issues) sent him numerous pics of what was supposed to be her. An opportunity presented itself that he would be going through the area she lived in and they made arrangements to finally meet. When he got there he found out she was not the girl in the pics. Turned out she was using a friend's pics figuring he would be more attracted to those then her own photos. He said her looks weren't unappealing but after 6 months of being deceived he was completely turned off of her.
I have never understood why people lie about their looks.....its the one thing you can't hide and if you lie about something as base as that what else have you been misleading about. | |
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sddude
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Joined: 11/4/2004
Msg: 93 | |
| Meeting with someone who looks nothing like picture
Posted: 3/21/2005 9:23:51 AM | That happened to me too , a 24 year old woman and I hooked up online and decided to go to a Kareoke bar to meet. Well I waited for her in the parking lot , I looked for a women that was athletic build as her description said , her picture was of a very pleasant thin woman , but when I looked for her in the parking lot I could not find her , but I did run into an obesse woman that still had a very pleasant face , she was not the one in the picture ,
we went out and I felt very uncomfortable about her lying , got the idea she was desperate and wanted to sleep with me after the date , well I did not of course . I dated her several times , I thought she was alot of fun until she pulled a desperate measure thing on me ....
That is a different scary story , kind of like one would make a movie about .
My pics are always a few months old , I try to be truthful as possible . When I do date people from the internet , I notice my date feels a little intimidated because of alot of my life experiences that they cannot relate to but then they warm up to me very quickly when the personal info and history is over with . I am always told that I am alot better looking in person and my personality is surprizingly pleasant and easygoing , people always have a different view of who I am in test , versus in person .
What I really hate is that I am catagorized as some kind of angel after women know me , that kills the sexual attraction for them , I wish I could portray a horndog or a very sexual guy in real life .
On paper I can be a sexually assertive guy but in real life , they see me as their brother .
Don't women need the kind of man that I am ? Definitely not a wuss , always ttell them what I want and if I call the date I plan it and pay .
I guess I should deceive in real life and change my personality, so they can get more than what is on paper , hahahaha !
PS. I got two fatal attraction situations going right now , one stalker and another that has been calling me everyday for a year now , she tells me it is not over . (both are very attractive )
These were people I found in real life and not online , crazy's are everywhere and not only on the internet . | |
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sddude
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Joined: 11/4/2004
Msg: 94 | |
| Meeting with someone who looks nothing like picture
Posted: 3/21/2005 9:24:02 AM | That happened to me too , a 24 year old woman and I hooked up online and decided to go to a Kareoke bar to meet. Well I waited for her in the parking lot , I looked for a women that was athletic build as her description said , her picture was of a very pleasant thin woman , but when I looked for her in the parking lot I could not find her , but I did run into an obesse woman that still had a very pleasant face , she was not the one in the picture ,
we went out and I felt very uncomfortable about her lying , got the idea she was desperate and wanted to sleep with me after the date , well I did not of course . I dated her several times , I thought she was alot of fun until she pulled a desperate measure thing on me ....
That is a different scary story , kind of like one would make a movie about .
My pics are always a few months old , I try to be truthful as possible . When I do date people from the internet , I notice my date feels a little intimidated because of alot of my life experiences that they cannot relate to but then they warm up to me very quickly when the personal info and history is over with . I am always told that I am alot better looking in person and my personality is surprizingly pleasant and easygoing , people always have a different view of who I am in test , versus in person .
What I really hate is that I am catagorized as some kind of angel after women know me , that kills the sexual attraction for them , I wish I could portray a horndog or a very sexual guy in real life .
On paper I can be a sexually assertive guy but in real life , they see me as their brother .
Don't women need the kind of man that I am ? Definitely not a wuss , always ttell them what I want and if I call the date I plan it and pay .
I guess I should deceive in real life and change my personality, so they can get more than what is on paper , hahahaha !
PS. I got two fatal attraction situations going right now , one stalker and another that has been calling me everyday for a year now , she tells me it is not over . (both are very attractive )
These were people I found in real life and not online , crazy's are everywhere and not only on the internet . | |
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| Meeting with someone who looks nothing like picture
Posted: 3/21/2005 11:06:21 AM | | I've heard of the popcorn man several times on this site. Popcorn man! If you're reading this you know what to do! Get your teeth capped/dentured/whitened etc.. and invest in some wardrobe! You're looking at more than a few grand but it's all fixable stuff! | |
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| Another point of view.....
Posted: 3/21/2005 3:35:35 PM | Let me play devil's advocate for a second. I've had the same thing happen to me on 3 different occasions, but I didn't really have a problem with it or blame her for doing it.
Consider this: A lot of women on this site either came from or are in the midst of abusive relationships. Part of the abuser's MO is that he will verbally destroy her so that she believes she is not capable of anything better. Women also know that men are usually motivated visually first then mentally and emotionally. If you are already made to feel ugly, fat, stupid, and worthless, and you believe most men are motivated by appearance, you don't have the confidence to post a pic "as you are."
These women, although they have low self esteem, deserve to be treated even better than average because of what they are going through. They need someone to help them see that they are worth something, that they are smart, and that they are or can be beautiful. It takes about 4 positive words to undo every 1 negative word, and the best thing you can do is try to compliment them on their strengths. Don't lie, but there's good in everyone, find hers and compliment her on it. Sometimes just having one date with a stranger who shows them how a real man acts is enough to give them to courage to break out.
All 3 women that I met with sent me pics that were at least 10 years old. Yes, they had aged but they were still very attractive women. Rather than get upset with them, I just let them know that I thought they were as attractive now as they were when those pics were taken. When I meet someone I try to part ways with them being better off than they were before they met me. You can be kind to someone without leading them on or giving them the wrong impression. Even if I'm not interested in them romantically, I don't think I can ever have too many quality female friends.
Having said that, if you're looking for a "hookup" or "intimate encounter", by all means insist on a recent full length photo, a newspaper or sign is a good way to get that. Hookups are a physical transaction so you need to make sure you know what you're getting.
By the way, if you're an abuser who gets off from preying on women, PM me. I'd like to meet you offline. I promise I'll send a recent pic and you'll have a reason to update your pics after we leave.
Need to go exercise, got myself all worked up now.... | |
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| Another point of view.....
Posted: 3/21/2005 6:39:52 PM | I love my dad. He and mom have been together for 50 years.
What does that have to do with the subject.
He taugt me this little saying.
Be nice to some one today . It doesn't cost anything. | |
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| Another point of view.....
Posted: 3/21/2005 8:12:14 PM | I understand your viewpoint, fltoddy.
I think the concern is about trust, truth, and honesty.
If a person can't be honest at the first and at that most basic level, then what kind of trust can you have in a relationship. | |
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| Another point of view.....
Posted: 3/21/2005 8:34:07 PM | I tend to agree with the trust issue. If they will lie about what they look like, now...what will they lie about if you ever had a relationship with them. Personally, I think if you just ask for a video cam or just current video of them, that eliminates most of the hassle. They can't exactly put up video of their friends while they're communicating with you.
As for the abuser type of situation...if they're being abused, then they need to seek professional counseling. There isn't anything anyone of you could do to alter that for them, or alter their self image once they've been in that situation. I believe in being nice to a person, but a lie is still a lie, and if you continue to see them, you're just setting them and you up, for a lousy time.
Personally, I would tell them nicely, the picture you put on the Internet is obviously not you, or is very outdated and I don't appreciate the deception. Why not just call it the way it is? You're not the one deceiving the person, so, why feel bad and continue the farce? | |
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