| THE Date!
Posted: 9/28/2008 11:59:32 AM | I would kind of think that I would be less mad about a he that was actually a she... than the men here who would be upset about a she that was actually a he.
Or, maybe not...? | |
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| THE Date!
Posted: 9/28/2008 12:07:02 PM |
I would kind of think that I would be less mad about a he that was actually a she... than the men here who would be upset about a she that was actually a he.
Or, maybe not...?  | |
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| THE Date!
Posted: 9/28/2008 12:12:58 PM | AGREED!
I agree with all other posters -- we all encounter a lot of the same turn-offs sooner or later, if we engage in on-line meetings. I know -- they have happened to me, too.
But one thing I want to add to the mix is the instant "No Chemistry" coldness. Has it ever happened to you?
You post current accurate pictures,
Are honest about who you are,
and, probably, so are they.
But when you meet -- there's this total lack of interest all over their demeanor. You aren't quite sure if it's just that they are a cold person -- or because they just aren't "feelin' it" for YOU.
But you sense it -- so, therefore, YOU are turned off by them.
Familiar? | |
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| THE Date!
Posted: 9/28/2008 12:14:54 PM | These situations happened so often I no longer bother with internet dating.
1) The woman is obese beyond belief! Guys, never go only by a head shot. Get a full body photo of your date in tasteful figure revealing clothing before you bother to meet her.
2) She is substantially older than she represented herself to be. The photos were of her in years gone by, maybe. because
3) She is unrecognizable because the photos on her profile were not of her. | |
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| THE Date!
Posted: 9/28/2008 12:18:09 PM |
...the instant "No Chemistry" coldness. Has it ever happened to you?
You post current accurate pictures, Are honest about who you are, and, probably, so are they.
But when you meet -- there's this total lack of interest all over their demeanor. You aren't quite sure if it's just that they are a cold person -- or because they just aren't "feelin' it" for YOU. But you sense it -- so, therefore, YOU are turned off by them.
This happened but in a different way. We had not e-mailed for very long or intensely. I wasn't expecting any chemistry, though it would have been a nice surprise. I was not surprised. There was nothing. We spent a relatively pleasant hour or so together and that was it. It was clear to him how I felt. | |
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| THE Date!
Posted: 9/28/2008 12:29:39 PM | | I think other than the "she's a he" there would not be a deal breaker before they sat down. For me, that is in part because there is no "deal" to break on the first meeting. The first meeting is at most to see the possibility of a second meeting. So in the sense of a "dealbreaker" anyone who does not give evidence of worthiness for a second date during the first. Now odds are as high that they will not consider I have given such evidence as I will consider that they have not. For that reason the first date is merely an excursion, mostly pleasant, with someone I have not previously met. Most won't lead to second dates. | |
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| THE Date!
Posted: 9/28/2008 12:31:14 PM | | Honestly, I've always had good first meetings. No surprises. I don't rush to meet. And I only meet because I found her interesting through emails and phone calls. I don't expect instant chemistry - I think that expectation is over-rated. | |
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| THE Date!
Posted: 9/28/2008 12:34:34 PM | Ismene, gosh lately I am feeling nothing for anyone.so I dont even want to meet cause I realize it would be a waste of their time..and the worst part is I think I am trying to hard.
Maybe I read one to many nice guy threads and now I have been sucked into some type of vortex or something but they are seeming like nice guys with no spark. Here is a nice guy, stable, good looking and has good command of the english language...heck uses Caps and periods !!!!!!! I also realize it isnt THEM it is ME...maybe I need a tuneup or something...I know a date with Jose!
Basically I'm saying you have to be into dating for the date to be on benefit to both person's otherwise the whole thing is a deal breaker. | |
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| THE Date!
Posted: 9/28/2008 12:38:27 PM | | Sapphire: Maybe you are trying too hard and need a break from it. If you don't even feel like meeting a nice man for a cup of coffee, without any expectations, but simply to be social, then stay home. Take a break from it all, re-group, find someone that creates a spark... | |
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| THE Date!
Posted: 9/28/2008 12:43:13 PM | [What is the first thing you notice about them that would be a deal breaker for you before they even sat down?]
That they obviously misrepresented themselves on their profile. I met someone on another site who posted his best friend’s picture instead of his, looked nothing like him. Others would be showing up looking like they have not seen a bar of soap/razor/comb in a long while or agreeing to casual dress and showing up dressed as if he was running to Home Depot in a middle of a project instead of meeting someone for the first time. | |
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| THE Date!
Posted: 9/28/2008 12:44:04 PM |
lately I am feeling nothing for anyone.so I dont even want to meet cause I realize it would be a waste of their time..and the worst part is I think I am trying to hard. Often, I take vacations from dating, particularly when I find myself becoming cynical about the process. Go out with the girls, or a group of friends if you feel like going out.
When you are feeling ready to tackle the dating world again, there is nothing stopping you! | |
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| THE Date!
Posted: 9/28/2008 2:40:23 PM | I have perfect intuition...no surprises!
And no dates!!! | |
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| THE Date!
Posted: 9/28/2008 8:56:18 PM | | That they lied in their essay or picture. Much older or heavier than they said they were. | |
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| THE Date!
Posted: 9/28/2008 8:58:21 PM | Agedwonder, come on, that could have been a slight overlooked thing | |
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| THE Date!
Posted: 9/29/2008 9:33:02 AM |
More than one man who added 4 or more inches to his height. I showed up to the date in 4" heels, and they stared at my breasts all night.
But, I thought you would enjoy being looked up to!
And the converse.lol
Deal breakers?
Dolly Parton hair;
Dolly Parton breasts;
You look at anything other than my eyes when we're talking;
Whatever your scent is, it arrives before you do;
You love Jesus, or diamonds;
You have visible puncture marks on the arm;
You arrive with caffeine OD shakes;
Your make-up drowns out your "Hello";
Your pantyhose (Ugh) friction is audible in your approach;
You are a conservative anything;
Anything about you or on you says Nascar;
You find fault with anything without laughing about it;
You sell things out of your car;
Puffy feet;
Your fingernails are weapons-grade;
You feel taller when standing on a male(s);
You have more hair on your arms than I do;
You believe that genders do battle;
I sense fear. | |
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| THE Date!
Posted: 9/29/2008 10:52:16 AM |
Anything about you or on you says Nascar; I am going to start a support group for Nascar as a deal breaker. We are few and far between so we should stand together.
Nothing I can do about the Dolly Parton breasts. | |
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| THE Date!
Posted: 9/29/2008 11:59:47 AM | | Similar to there picture. If they were posting a picture or sending you a picture when they were say in there early 20's and now there in there 40's looking large and not in charge of there life... When one say average size or body type and there like 100 lbs past that average... | |
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| THE Date!
Posted: 9/29/2008 12:38:03 PM | Mominatrix. LOL. From this seat, the armies of Nascar seem legion. And the over-sized breasts thing is just a partly stupid/partly tongue-in-cheek prejudice on my part, mixing humor and feigned distate with the notion that women with breasts that can eclipse the sun are less mentally agile.
OP- I'd like to qualify my earlier post- while each of my "items" might take some points off the board, the total score can still be a winner. | |
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| THE Date!
Posted: 9/29/2008 2:52:24 PM | Okay here it goes.....
The wealthy guy who supposingly dated models and showed up with rotten teeth.
The guy who showed up and looked 6 months pregnant but told me he worked out all the time.
The guy who told me he was 5ft 10" and probably hit 5ft 6".
The guy who showed up with a 60's afro that would have made Michael Jackson's look small (remember him back then?).
The guy who didn't look like his picture and you prayed, as he walked toward you, that this guy wasn't smiling at you.
So why do we do this over and over again? I figure God will torture me for just so long and then he'll get tired of playing with me and finally send me my mate | |
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| THE Date!
Posted: 9/29/2008 3:25:04 PM | Now, hey, I have noticed my fly partly unzipped at least once!
For the most part, I just relax and have a good time, so deal breaker's don't happen to me that much. I have been surprised in both directions and never really had a bad time.
One I would add is showing up over 30 minutes late with no explanation or apology.
A second is pointing out I am three minutes late after more than an hour of driving in unfamiliar territory before we even get to hello.
A third is starting to fidget right after we introduce ourselves. If you would really rather be somewhere else, then go right ahead, by all means! | |
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| THE Date!
Posted: 9/29/2008 4:59:18 PM | TradurGurl - Bingo!!!
I have been lucky, all photos have been fairly accurate - no one looked like Godzilla. Nice funny, respectable......just like me, but you know, they are - men
So you both show up for your coffee or glass of booze, hope that those elusive puzzle pieces fall into place and....................damit!!!! Back to the jigsaw | |
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| THE Date!
Posted: 9/29/2008 9:01:16 PM | | There cant just be one thing, it could be they look nothing like their pic, and not in a good way, they arnt clean, or they are visibly intoxicated or stoned. I have had all three of these instances, I walked out. | |
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| THE Date!
Posted: 9/29/2008 9:08:35 PM | | hey desert dan, same goes for us girls, cant tell you how many men showed up 100 lbs heavier and 15 years older then their pics. uhh, not to mention BALD! I swear one guy even looked like he shrank 6 inches and lost 50 lbs.! So dont think we women are the only posers. I was just told by a man on here that I havent even met but who saw me out and recognized me from my pics. And I didnt even have one of those figure revealing full body shot pics on. Nor would I ever. We all know why you guys want those. | |
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| THE Date!
Posted: 9/29/2008 9:19:04 PM | Nascar, yes! I mean NO!!!!
Lying, I think that is it. After all, all other deal breakers are already weeded out, yes?
I had the strangest thing happen. Agreed to meet this guy, he wasn't all that interesting to me, but I seemed to be to him, and I thought, great, cut to the chase. I'd already had a cop friend check him out (see Gift of Fear thread). I was to be in a town half way between us. I had a pic up then that was flattering, but very much me, with a tan, a year old. But me. What I look like. I hadn't seen a pic of him, but I wasn't that interested, and even if I was looks aren't all that to me.
Some guy almost said something to me. I was done with my duty, and called him. He said he had been by, but didn't see anyone that looked like my pic. It took me a full day to get what he was saying - I had misrepresented myself.
This bothered me for months. I guess it still bothers me. I do not mean to misrepresent myself, and didn't feel I did. I asked several friends if I looked different than my pic. All said no, and I don't think they were lying. He was too, too wierd.
Anyway, it did remind me about how part of a long distance friendship goes on in the mind of each person. We fill in the spaces with our imaginations. I did wonder how come he was so hyped up after he saw a pic. This is one reason I now post a rather plain pic of myself.
I still can't make sense of this. The cop said he was s decent and grounded fellow. And obviously it still bothers me.
WTF???? | |
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| THE Date!
Posted: 9/30/2008 5:37:12 AM | I have to agree with many other posters who claim that the first deal breaker would be that he doesn't look like his picture.
A second red flag is when he pretends he doesn't notice my approach. Screams deception to me. | |
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