| THE Date!
Posted: 9/30/2008 6:06:24 AM | Lipstick on his collar. | |
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| THE Date!
Posted: 9/30/2008 3:18:52 PM | I have to agree with many other posters who claim that the first deal breaker would be that he doesn't look like his picture.
A second red flag is when he pretends he doesn't notice my approach. Screams deception to me How do you know he is not noticing your approach if he does not look like his picture?
Just wonderin'... | |
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| THE Date!
Posted: 9/30/2008 5:13:45 PM | | Dayym, Mominatrix. Are you in law enforcement? You are gooooood!lol | |
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| THE Date!
Posted: 9/30/2008 5:39:54 PM | Has hair growing out of his ears (this really happened to me.) | |
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| THE Date!
Posted: 10/1/2008 3:41:42 AM |
How do you know he is not noticing your approach if he does not look like his picture?
Cute. You got me.
You know how people will display their best pictures or older pictures and you realize that they are now grey, or balding, wrinkled or chubby or simply that the angle of the photo was flattering and the real thing is not.
So then, I catch sight of him sitting in some patio, and as he notices my approach, he turns away in order to appear nonchalent and then surprised when I get there. | |
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| THE Date!
Posted: 10/1/2008 7:27:11 AM | Perhaps you don't look like your photo?
I am always stunned at pictures of me. I don't feel I look like my photos at all. Who is that? | |
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| THE Date!
Posted: 10/1/2008 9:59:00 AM | A deal breaker for the date, or for continued dating?
The only thing that would make me get up and leave right away would be if he was stumbling drunk, or stoned. Or perhaps if he was really, grossly filthy, and stunk.
Now, for the future...theres probably only about 345 things that would make me not want to see someone again! LOL...yeah, I know, I'm too easy going. | |
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| THE Date!
Posted: 10/1/2008 6:34:17 PM | | I don't know about the NASCAR issue. I mean I've never been to a NASCAR event and only know one person who has and they repair my car. But then I've never been golfing or a number of other classic Americana. So I guess I lack the experience to rule such things out on the first meet and greet. Now if we didn't have any overlap activities that will eventually eliminate them, but I doubt that the first meet would be the time to go down a list of all activities we might have participated in, or were willing to participate in in the future, particularly in their order of importance. | |
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| THE Date!
Posted: 10/10/2008 9:15:33 PM | He's still wearing his wedding ring (even if he's separated or widowed).
He is SO not single yet! -- LG | |
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| THE Date!
Posted: 10/10/2008 9:34:58 PM | Well...something happened to me that was NOT my fault.
I am very honest about who I am and try to keep current pics up. I had been communicating with a guy and we finally decided on the initial meeting. In a conversation just before we were to meet, I said something regarding my physical appearance. He stated "you're not heavy".....huh?..."yes I AM!"...."you don't look it to me."....scratching my head now.
Turned out he only a PDA! "Heck...I look like a postage stamp!"
I panicked!!!! He had no real concept what I looked like.!!!!!! Talk about fear of the "ugly first meeting"...!
We met. It was cool. We've seen each other since and continue with the friendship.
"Whew"....I did not want to read a thread where "he" met this chick who didn't look like her pics!!! | |
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| THE Date!
Posted: 10/10/2008 9:51:51 PM | Oh, I'll regret this...It really happened!
He showed up, and got arrested, for not paying child support.
He was from a different city, and ran a red light. The police asked, when they had him pulled over, how I knew him. (I pulled over behind him in my car) ... He blurted out..."This is our first meeting! We met on line!"
I wanted to cry!
They actually took him away in cuffs. Never saw him again.
He never mentioned he had KIDS! | |
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| THE Date!
Posted: 10/10/2008 9:55:27 PM | Oh my! Beveann, that is horrible. I am surprised he didnt ask you to bail him out or something!  | |
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| THE Date!
Posted: 10/11/2008 5:06:27 PM | MOG, Beveann, I am sorry! But I gotta say, I am laughing at the moment. Didn't disclose kids, well, now I'm thinking, what about the criminal record??? It could happen to any of us. We no longer live in the same small towns all our lives.
Okay, some of us still are stuck, but that doesn't mean I'd fare any better, just that the pool of unknown felons might be a tad smaller. | |
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| THE Date!
Posted: 10/11/2008 8:51:43 PM | Yeah.. I DO laugh ... now.
I figure any date from then on could only go up. Couldn't get much worse.
He did try to tell me via email it was a mix up... "All wrong, A big misteak" I thought that was the understatement of the year. The only thing I learned... Always take your own car. I was REALLY glad about that. Who knows what my ride home would have been.
But, YUP, Laugh... I do! Poor schmuck. | |
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| THE Date!
Posted: 11/9/2008 6:07:36 PM | | a deal breaker for me...unshaven, hair uncombed and a ratty old tshirt.... | |
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| THE Date!
Posted: 11/9/2008 6:57:58 PM | | Grease,dirt or dried blood under her fingernails. | |
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| THE Date!
Posted: 11/9/2008 7:01:06 PM | First thing, I don't email or phone for weeks. I used to but found it's a waste of time (and emotional investment) because chemistry trumps all. If there's no chemistry then it doesn't matter how much I liked his email.
That said, immediate deal-breakers are any lie on one of my "absolutes" - can't be married, no smoker, and must be taller than me (height has been the most frequent lie in a man's profile I've experienced). I was 15 minutes into a date with a man whose profile said divorced/non-smoker when he admitted his divorce wasn't final and he smoke occasionally. I stood up and walked out.
Other than that I'd probably go through with the date but any other lie would be duly noted and I'd never see him again. I'm looking for the last love of my life, can't build that on a lie so no reason to spend any more time on him. | |
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| THE Date!
Posted: 11/10/2008 2:35:32 AM | | Body language can be a deal breaker for me. I've had first dates - or meets - or whatever - where the guy sat there with his arms crossed in front of him the entire time. Made me feel very uncomfortable. I even tried to subconciously get him to relax but to no avail. It's too defensive and put me off the two guys that did this to the point where I couldn't wait to get away after an hour or so... | |
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| THE Date!
Posted: 11/10/2008 11:37:34 AM | | I met a man who was 6 foot 6 inches tall. I am only 5 foot 3 inches. I knew he was going to be that tall; in fact, I told him it concerned me, before we met, and that I thought he was too tall for me, but he convinced me to meet anyway. Upon meeting, that really was too much for me. I felt like I was standing next to a telephone pole, and until we sat down, I couldn't even look him in the face, unless I tilted my head at a 45 degree angle. When I write this, it sounds so shallow, but it was really a 'big' deal to me. I couldn't see myself with someone like that. But, I might have adjusted. Possibly... The real deal breaker was he was bossy, and no way, lol, not with me. Nobody bosses me around...compromise, working together, cooperation, etc., but bossy? No way. Bossy was the real deal breaker. And this was on the first date! I wondered what he'd be like when he got more comfortable with me, if he could be overbearing on the first date. | |
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| THE Date!
Posted: 11/10/2008 11:44:27 AM | ^^^ I get the mental image of this 5'3" woman bossing around a 6'6" man and just died laughing cause I have found most bossy people to start with end up being sorta mellow after awhile...would have been cute!
I do understand your discomfort, I have had shorter men who have wanted to go out etc and in heels I'm close to 6'. It doesnt bother me except when they want me to never wear heels if I am going out with them and that is a deal breaker for me. I think the shortest guy I dated was 5'4", we dated off and on for about 5 years...he was simply wonderful. | |
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| THE Date!
Posted: 11/10/2008 11:48:36 AM |
I met a man who was 6 foot 6 inches tall. I am only 5 foot 3 inches. . . . . I thought he really . . . was too much for me. I felt . . . . a telephone pole, and . . . I couldn't even . . . . unless I tilted my head at a 45 degree angle. When I write this, it sounds so shallow, . . . . But, I might have adjusted. Possibly . . . .
(Visualizing adjustments). Ummmmm, nope, can't get shallow from this. 
Sorry, Ismene, just playin'. Lol | |
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| THE Date!
Posted: 11/10/2008 11:50:52 AM | | ^^^I don't know...this was someone who had had a very important job and I imagine was used to making decisions and pronouncements about everything. He was retired, so w/o a job to focus on, private life becomes the area which he needs to control. I don't want to boss anyone around, and I don't want to be bossed. Maybe he would have mellowed out, don't know. How long do I have to wait to find out? lol The height thing was really uncomfortable. Six foot or six one is about tops for me. The week before I met him, I was asking all the tall guys at work how tall they were so I could get a sense of what it'd be like to date someone so tall...lol. It was something I was concerned about... | |
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| THE Date!
Posted: 11/10/2008 1:07:04 PM | This happened a few years before I got married, it was a blind date. Immediately after the "Hi, how are you?" he said "Are we going to have sex tonight cause my friend invited me to a lingerie show and I really don't want to miss it unless I am going to get sex." I said, "no, I am not having sex with you. " He said ok, got in his car an left.
Other than that...lol....the worst turn off is bad personal hygiene and being untidy (wrinkled clothes, etc)
Oh, and the lying about age, weight thing. Looks aren't the issue, it's the lying and also thinking so low of yourself that you think you need to lie to get a date | |
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| THE Date!
Posted: 11/10/2008 1:44:48 PM | | hahahahaha These are funny! All my 1st meetups have been pretty normal. Nothing weird about the men at all. | |
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| THE Date!
Posted: 11/10/2008 8:01:08 PM |
I met a man who was 6 foot 6 inches tall. I am only 5 foot 3 inches.
I met a man on match.com and dated for several months who is 6'6" but I'm 5'8" so I loved the height difference. Tallest I'd dated before him was 6'4" and my uncle is 6'5" so I had an idea what to expect. He would hug me while I cooking or washing dishes and he could look over my head! lol We took ballroom dancing lessons together and it was great to be able to wear whatever heels I was comfortable with.
Will admit that my neck could start to hurt, and it was hard to stand on my toes that long, when we kissed standing up. But, well, we managed to work things out.
That aside, I had to check your city because you could have been describing the same man! He tried to boss me around but I thought it was a joke (anyone who knows me would have that same impression) so I just laughed. Eventually it sank in that he really wasn't joking. Silly me, blinded by height *sigh | |
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