| Sex with married men
Posted: 12/6/2006 8:25:08 AM |
She's not cheating, they are!
well ... I always thought cheating was when you didn't play by the rules of the game ... generally to give yourself an unfair advantage.
the rules of the marriage game ... are ...to love honour and cherish ... till you die.
[simple there ... he's cheating]
the rules of social dating game ... are ... all's fair in love and war ... so
[not so simple ... but ... if its not love ... and only sex ... then she is cheating too]
for the general rules of the game are you don't go after married people ... because they probably aren't sexually satisfied or are a bit sexually bored ... so its too easy.
and there is little threat of you having a committed relationship ... so its to your advantage over the other daters. [ consequently your cheating ]
If your a Christian ... then you are cheating on those rules too.
if you are Athiest or Satanist ... well ... maybe not then.
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| Sex with married men
Posted: 12/6/2006 10:55:21 AM | "I always think it is the cheater who is in the wrong. If she is not cheating on someone then I see no problem with her, but the men she is sleeping with I think are worthless swine."
This is a problem - thou shalt not covet anothers property - playing around with married men (when she knows it) is just as bad as the guy who is cheating on his poor unknowing wife! | |
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| Sex with married men
Posted: 12/6/2006 11:49:47 AM | | Hmmm interesting topic. Well according to our religous and moral upbringing it is wrong. However many people think differently. Maybe she isnt seeking any form of committment and feels that this is likley the safest way to have good clean sex. A married man is more apt not to be sleeping around due to time constraints and is not likely to get too attached. Besdies maybe a married man may be more energetic and pleasing. I have no idea. I had sex with a married woman awhile ago. The difference was that her husband was there....lol | |
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| Sex with married men
Posted: 12/6/2006 12:09:16 PM |
Cheating has been going on for years, espeicially by the wealthy and powerful where throughout history it is was accepted and expected but never spoken of. Nowadays people are just more willing to talk about it. But there is no new level of cheating going on in today's society as compare to any other point in history.
I thought I've read more than one study that says its more prevalent than it was in the past, but don't have time to look up the studies now. Kinda makes sense to me that it could be though, based on the fact that overall it seems to be more accepted than in the past.
(Friendly discussion mode) | |
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| Sex with married men
Posted: 12/6/2006 6:11:26 PM | Dallas,
I think all that's changed is with whom men now cheat and the dynamics of the work place. Back before women became equal in the work place married men would sleep with slaves/servants (way back in the day), prostitutes, barmaids, housekeepers, hotel maids, waitresses, and other women of a lower income/class. Now that women are pretty much equals in the workplace cheating has gone from back alleys, sleezy hotels, secret bungalows, and fraternal hang-outs to the boardroom, business trips, and swanky hotels.
I think in the past it was always "winked at" when a successful businessmen cheated as long as he provided generously for his family. Now you have women and men cheating almost equally.
Of course this is just my opinion. I don't have any research or studies to back me up. | |
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| Sex with married men
Posted: 12/10/2006 10:55:05 AM | | I would never ever cheat on...I have been cheated on though....and I have to say that your friend is a dawg...she knows they are married which makes her just as bad as them...and what kind of friend is that...you know what your mom told you about the company you keep?? people may judge you for your friends behaviour....she is in the wrong...and so are they ...I would tell her your opinion...and really if she doesn't care about who she may be hurting...wives..kids...then how can she really care about anything else...incuding your friendship...is your man off limits?? I would never be friends with someone who knowingly sleeps with married men!! Dirty!! | |
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*Illsa
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Joined: 10/10/2006
Msg: 133 | |
| Sex with married men
Posted: 12/15/2006 2:01:54 PM | What about the woman who didn't know he was married? And finds out months later...
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| Sex with married men
Posted: 12/15/2006 5:14:55 PM | Sometimes it's one way that people who really have issues about a relationship themselves can make sure they don't have to face one. So is self-sabotage -- something I'm an expert in much to my own shame.
Drive them away before they have a chance to reject you first (self-sabotage) is sometimes the flip side of making sure they are incapable of being with you in the first place (married). | |
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| Sex with married men
Posted: 12/15/2006 5:29:59 PM | RE: commitment....
I wonder if the woman that is with the cheating guy 'likes' this situation because there is certain to be 'no commitment'. Heck, the guy too!
They are safe - it is goin' nowhere. No marriage. No phone calls. Just booty calls.
I have a very good friend that is in the same situation. She has been with this guy for like 8 years. They have split and got back together at least 4 times. However, they always get back together. Right now - they are split.
However, I like them together and 'see' them together some day.
I have talked to her about it MANY times. The 'one' thing (there are many, but the big one) is that she is not in control of her 'destiny'. Another words, he - has to get a divorce for her to be 'happy'. She can't drive it.
Any way, hope that someday I am able to see them together - for 'real'. | |
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| Sex with married men
Posted: 12/15/2006 8:46:37 PM | | Both of them are wrong.I find that some women who like to say the man is just wrong are the very same ones who go after married men.Both are wrong,not just one person but both. | |
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| Sex with married men
Posted: 12/15/2006 8:48:50 PM | | The only reason for sex with a married man would be you are scared of commitment! Safe zone! but the unmarried one/. | |
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| Sex with married men
Posted: 12/16/2006 1:32:36 AM | If they are not cheating with you, they are cheating with someone else. It is mostly oppourtunity if a married woman wants to have sex, wether it is with me or someone else they are still going to do it.
Some people go looking, but in the end the other has to be willing. | |
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| Sex with married men
Posted: 12/16/2006 3:19:44 AM | >>Homewreckers SUCK<<
Most especially when it's THEIR home they are wrecking!?! | |
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| Sex with married men
Posted: 12/17/2006 2:22:05 AM | | okay.. what about the man that is still married because of children... i dated a married man for almost 2 years... in his marriage was completely sexless, they slept in seperate bedrooms.. and she knew that we were dating and was okay with it... he just didn't want to leave because he wanted to be able to tuck his daughter in every night and be there if she woke up in the middle of the ngiht... etc... is this still cheating??? | |
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| Sex with married men
Posted: 12/17/2006 4:14:15 AM | Have you tried explaining to your friend she is in the role of an unpaid hooker?
The guy is cheap and trying to get sex with no complications FREE!
He can go get it from a hooker and pay for it as far I'm concerned.
Try telling her what the guy thinks of her....as in ZERO
Then let the jerk find another sucker and I hope he doesnt catch anything nasty he brings home to wife and children
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| Sex with married men
Posted: 12/17/2006 8:34:31 AM | Salty ... that's good emotional advice ... but I do believe the OP stated this friend was a bit pathological .... she always went after married men ...... that means ... she is the problem and is afraid of commitments in a sexual relationship.
She is looking for the free meat
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| Sex with married men
Posted: 12/17/2006 11:20:00 AM | | When I hear women or men say they prefer somebody that is married because they dont want to committ, Im thinking to myself why go after somebody who is married go with somebody who is looking for bootycalls or somebody who doesnt want to settle down.I find that foolish to go after married people and you know their married.People who are married are in committed relationships.(shakes head)some people have a twisted mind thats for sure. | |
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| Carsonsmami
Posted: 12/17/2006 5:44:22 PM |
okay.. what about the man that is still married because of children... i dated a married man for almost 2 years... in his marriage was completely sexless, they slept in seperate bedrooms.. and she knew that we were dating and was okay with it... he just didn't want to leave because he wanted to be able to tuck his daughter in every night and be there if she woke up in the middle of the ngiht... etc... is this still cheating???
Ya. And he'll be using this one till the kids get out of college, at which point it'll switch to: she (the wife) is ill and how can he leave her? Or the dog. Or, or, or. . . .
Or his cover could be blown because the wife gets preggers.
Sweetheart, I see you're nineteen, but please! get some kind of street smarts before your next, ummmm, relationship. You have victim written all over you. | |
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| Sex with married men
Posted: 12/17/2006 7:50:57 PM | | WOW, pretty judgemental bunch on here. Have any of you ever found yourself in this type of situation? Ever had a friend that developed into more... hour by hour, day by day, month by month, year by year? Ever think that life may be a series of moments and that one day as you're passing on and all of your moments are gone that you may have let some of the happiest go by because you were too chicken to follow your heart? I won't say sex with married men is right or wrong because there are always extenuating circumstances; I just wish the world was a little less preachy. Can't we all just get along? | |
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| Carsonsmami
Posted: 12/17/2006 8:10:50 PM |
Sweetheart, I see you're nineteen, but please!
Hunny, I am 21, and my profile says that.. i was 19 when i got with him yes... his daughter is 6 months old... and he is leaving in january.. not for me, not because of me, because he is no longer happy... i now live 4 hours from him, so we are over, but he is still my best friend. | |
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| Sex with married men
Posted: 12/17/2006 8:15:40 PM | I won't say sex with married men is right or wrong because there are always extenuating circumstances
Ah, the old doctrine of moral relativism - nothing is right or wrong, because there are always extenuating circumstances.
Remember that next time somebody steals your car - don't think of it as right or wrong because there are always extenuating circumstances.
Or if, heaven forbid, someone you know and love is murdered - don't think of it as right or wrong because there are always extenuating circumstances.
Personally, I'm not afraid to stand up and be counted and firmly state that some things are wrong - and that includes sex with a married man/woman behind their partner's back.
Somehow, I'm ALSO betting that if the married man sneaking around and having sex with another woman without his wife knowing was YOUR husband, your thoughts would suddenly change. | |
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| Sex with married men
Posted: 12/18/2006 3:07:40 AM | | I guess its up to her really,but in life what goes around tends to come around!! | |
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| Sex with married men
Posted: 12/18/2006 4:15:57 AM | | WELL, SHE SOULDN'T BE TELLING YOU THESE THINGS ABOUT HER MARRIAGE TO START WITH.YOU SLIP UP AND TELL SOMEONE AND THEY TELL SOMEONE AND IT GETS BACK TO HIS WIFE AND SHE WILL MORE THAN LIKELY BLAME IT ON HER.SHE JUST STARTED HAVING SEX WITH HIM SHE FELT POWERFUL OR LIKE IT MADE HER BETTER THAN HIS WIFE.LET YOUR FRIEND KNOW THAT SHE COULD BE ONE OF SEVERAL GIRLS THIS GUY IS HAVING SEX WITH BESIDES HIS WIFE AND SEE HOW SHE RESPONDS TO THAT.IF HE IS HAVING SEX WITH HER ,HE CAN DO IT WITH OTHERS JUST AS EASY. | |
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| Sex with married men
Posted: 12/18/2006 10:29:41 AM | if it bothers you... tell them!
that is it that is all...
just like if your friend is drinking too much... having too many one night stands...
you are judging this person so you should telll them that it upsets you
and go from there... | |
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